MY LIFE IN A NUTSHELL

NARRATOR: Ms. Lily Evans

SUMMARY: It's the start of 7th year and things are beginning to spiral out of Lily's control. Follow her day-to-day adventures in this multi-chaptered fic about love, hate, and the many aspects of a 17-year-old witch's life.

RATING: T, for language, some visual imagery, and attempted humor.

Disclaimer: Nah.

A/N:

Read on! Sirius time :)

The Common Room was comfortingly empty, but I saw to my chagrin that Alice, Marlene, and Miranda were nowhere to be found – I was depending on them to back up my arguments against Remus and Sirius. There was absolutely no way I was actually going to be able to learn anything from Remus if Sirius was here, and them together, well…I was practically walled out.

"So Remus," I began innocently.

"Bup bup bup!" Sirius cried out. "No direct talking to my client."

"Oh, drop the lawyer act already, will you Black?" I asked exasperatedly.

"I believe that is Mr. Black, Esquire, to you," he sniffed mock-haughtily. I kicked him in the shin softly and he relented.

"Anyway, now that Black's out of criminal justice," I snarled at him, before turning to Remus once more and simpering, "But really, could you take that night on the 30th? There isn't anything you could possibly be doing so close to Halloween – "

"Lily! Take your feminine wiles and begone!" Sirius declared, protectively defending a rather bewildered Remus Lupin.

"Feminine wiles!" I huffed. "You know what, Lupin, just leave. I believe I need to have a word with Mr. Black, Esquire."

Remus left in such a hurry that I could've sworn he'd apparated.

Sirius threw himself onto the couch in front of the fire, stretching his legs across until there was absolutely no room for me to sit, then crossing them tauntingly as if rubbing it in my face.

"So there was something you'd like to tell me, Lils?" Black asked.

"Not so much tell, as discuss," I said quietly, and my tone surprised him to an extent that some of the mischievous glint dimmed in his grey eyes.

"Well, discuss away, so long as it's nothing too incriminating," Sirius said, now a little curious as to what I was getting at.

"It's actually nothing to do with whatever you're up to on Halloween," I sighed, sitting between the couch and the fire so the flames flickered and warmed me behind my back. "It's actually more to do with my mates, and how you're messing with them."

Sirius went still and silent immediately, tensing up, the glitter in his usually light eyes turned to an overcast, stormy cloud.

I thought for a moment, considering my words so they would be phrased in a way that was actually effective.

"I know the Marauders," I began. "Sure, you call yourselves a group of elite pranksters, because that is exactly what you are – but more than that, you're also the closest group of friends I've ever set eyes on. You support each other in ways I probably can't even imagine, and your lives are more than just connected – they are intertwined at every twist and turn. So you have to know what I'm trying to do when I'm saying…I'm just trying to protect my friends."

There was a silence, neither tense nor calm, nor deathly cold and quiet, nor warm and comforting. It was just a silence, and the only thing you could detect was thought.

Sirius's voice broke roughly. "Protect them, huh?"

"Why else would I care so much?"

The fire crackled.

"I'm not going to talk to you about my love life, Evans," Sirius said, picking his legs up from the couch and setting them on the ground in a typical guy-manner. Leaning forward, he rested his elbows on his knees, and looked me straight in the eyes. His gaze did not waver, and neither did mine.

Storm grey mixed with emerald green in a silent battle of dominance.

"I'm not asking you to," I replied calmly, still not breaking eye contact. "I'm just asking for you to think before you act. Because every bit of hurt you inflict on either Marlene or Miranda, I'll make sure you receive tenfold."

Sirius stared for a moment more, but then a grin eased onto his face, and the glint returned to his eyes. "I'd be disappointed with anything less."

Against my better judgment, a smile crept onto my face, and I shuffled around on the carpet to lean back against the couch cushions next to Sirius's knees. We both stared into the fire for a little bit.

"Hey, Lilykins?" Sirius said quietly.

I sighed. There really was nothing I could do about the nicknames at this point. "Yes, Sirimuffin?"

He laughed. "Good one. But I was wondering…have you heard anything else about my brother?"

He had lost me. "Huh?" I asked, confused. Looking up at Sirius's face, I could see that he was carefully keeping up a mask of calm, controlling every muscle as to not give away any indication of what was actually running through his mind.

"You know. About the necklace you found, and how Reg – Regulus – he claimed it. It's just…you haven't really found out any more about that, have you?"

I felt guilty, but I tried my best not to look away from Sirius's face. "Sorry, Sirius, I haven't. I think it was just a one time thing. And if he really was up to anything, he wouldn't be parading it around now that the mudblood Head Girl's on his case, right?"

"Don't call yourself that."

"It's just a word," I muttered, looking back at the fire.

"Words have meanings, and you don't deserve anything that you have thrown at you," Sirius said distantly.

I looked up at him again, now more curious than I'd ever been.

"Do you know what my family's like, Evans?" Sirius said, finally turning away from the fire to meet my gaze with a grim, twisted smile. I didn't like that smile.

"Only vaguely," I answered.

"They're the pureblood extremists who are causing all of this shite in the first place," Sirius said, and his voice was detached, cold, almost mechanical. "They're the ones who support mass murder of innocent lives. They thrive in the killing of 'dirty blood'. It's disgusting, is what it is.

"Ever since I was a kid I couldn't understand why they were so set in their ways, but I just went with them. They were so bigoted, so unreasonable, so…stupid. And if I hadn't been shown a better perspective by my cousin, Andromeda, I would've probably ended up exactly like them. Exactly like how Regulus has become.

"I've made a couple of sacrifices so I wouldn't have to bend to their will. I've kind of lost my family, and hopefully have shamed my mum so that she can't show her face anymore, but that's alright. I've James, and Remus and Peter, and I might not see my family anymore, but I'm still myself, and I still stand for what I believe in. And there's something about hard choices that makes your beliefs even stronger."

His words, first so edgy, had turned softer and kinder. They washed over me like a breeze.

"Sirius?"

"Yeah?"

"You're fucking brilliant, you know that?"

I didn't even have to look up to sense his easy smile. "Yeah. Known it for a while, actually."

I thought back, way back, to when I had found the necklace. To the headlines I'd read in the Prophet, to that moment when James had held my hand and told me he'd be with me when the world turned on its axis.

I knew what I had to say.

"Sirius, you know what this means, right?" I said boldly.

"Could mean a ton of things, really, Evans," he said, amused.

"You say it's worth making a hard choice if you know you're right," I repeated, continuing with a running fervor. "But what's the worth in having those ideas, those beliefs, if you're just going to let them sit in your head? You're right, Sirius. There's an entire army out there that's building and it's going to fuck us up to pieces if we don't do anything about it. But I'm not ready to see my family go yet, and I'm not ready to go myself, either. I'm definitely sure that you're not just going to sit and think about it for the rest of eternity. So why don't we just do something about it?"

"Do something about it?" Sirius repeated.

"We're almost out of school and I bet you're either terrified out of your pants about your future, or you have a set career idea in store, or a combination of both. But we're practically legal, Sirius. We know everything that any wizard knows, and since we're both brilliant, probably more. Voldemort – and I don't care about this You-Know-Who name business – has an army, but it's an army of brainless, bigoted, hateful people. We have strength, and something worth fighting for. So why not fight for it?"

Sirius looked at me for a second, and I couldn't tell whether he thought I was crazy or ingenious.

"I can see what James sees in you sometimes, Evans," Sirius said, a smile playing on his lips. "You've got a bit of moxie, haven't you?

"Did you just say I have…moxie?" I asked, deflating rapidly.

"Yeah, moxie," Sirius said. "But James is always going on and on about how it's impossible to find another girl like you, always talking about your spirit and passion and all these ridiculously romantic things – "

I think my blush was practically covering my whole body by now. And getting redder by the second.

"Does he – does he really say that?" I asked, trying to sound stable and less like a mental patient.

"Yeah. Most of the time. But some of the time he just sits in his bed and lusts after you with a pillow on his lap."

I almost exploded.

"Really?" I said again, my voice ten octaves too high.

"Yeah. Too often, really. Think you can relieve a bit of his sexual frustration?" Sirius said slyly.

"More than a bit," I said before I'd even realized.

Sirius gaped. "Well why don't I just get James and you and him can – "

"No! Shut up! That never happened! I said nothing!" I cried, leaping up from the ground and smothering Sirius with a pillow.

"What is going on?" a voice called out, and I saw Peter peeking out from the boy's stair.

"Just the norm," I said cheerfully, continuing to cut off Sirius's air supply.

"Merlin, Evans! Don't kill me! And after all we've been through!" Sirius cried out dramatically. "Oh, hey Pete. Come join us, will you?"

"Is it safe to come down now? Oh, good," Remus said, and I saw him too emerge from the boy's dormitories, a good book in hand.

Finding myself surrounded by all the Marauders (minus James), I began to realize that these boys that I'd classified and labeled all my life as the Marauders were more than just Moony, Wormtail, and Padfoot – they were people. And together, while they formed a sort of supergroup, they were still much the same people that they were alone, only each fortified the other. They were all strengthened by bonds so strong I'd be scared to see them shattered.

Which made me think, more than I really wanted to, about Prongs himself.

As the lunch break toiled away, and more students filtered in from the Great Hall, I made myself comfortable with the Marauders Minus James, participating in their banter and generally enjoying my heart out.

"What the - ?"

Ah, finally. The entrance of the main man himself. Finally, Quidditch had decided to let out, and James Potter was once again in my life.

That hour of peace had been precious.

"James, m'boy! Look who's come to play!" Sirius called out in excitement across the common room.

"It seems I've replaced you, Prongs," I winked, and James, to his credit, had every right to look as dumbfounded as he did.

It was adorable, the way his jaw was slightly slack and his hair was still a bit damp from the shower. And the way his uniform was settled on his shape, and the trace of his torso –

Getting carried away.

"What do you say we call her? Bambi?" Sirius said, as happy as a puppy upon finding a strange new object to mess with. Which I basically was.

"Bambi's a boy, you idiot," Remus said, not even bothering to look up from his book.

"Really? Camp name for a boy, I say – "

"Oi! You lot! What's going on here?" James cried out, utterly baffled.

"GOT IT! Prongless," Peter said, clapping his hands together at his creation.

"That's fucking brill, Wormtail."

"Take it easy on the sarcasm, Padfoot. Gorsh."

James had had, apparently, enough. "GUYS!"

His boom echoed around the tower, and the entire common room fell silent.

"It's simple, James," I said, smiling, breaking the unnatural silence. "I've taken your place. And all your friends."

James could only gape as Sirius and Remus both encircled me in a very friendly hug. A small part of my mind was thinking, I could get used to this. Being surrounded by attractive blokes. And Peter.

At that moment, in a spot of perfect timing, Alice, Marlene, and Miranda strolled into the common room with a strange vat of steaming something in their hands. The pot was huge and silver, held by Marlene, and the steam rising out of it seemed to be a bright lilac color.

Potter, completely ignoring the fact that they were holding a huge, boiling pot, rushed up to my friends at first sight and bent down on his knees dramatically.

"He's really taking it far," Sirius commented offhandedly from my left.

"The git," Remus muttered from my right.

"Miranda! Marlene! Alice! I'm begging you, you beautiful, wonderful, perfect, charming young women – "

"I like this guy," Miranda said, pointing to James's head.

"It seems," James said gravely, "that my friends – best mates – have been stolen away from me by a terrible seductress."

"Seductress!" I hollered across the room.

"So you see," James said, taking a bewildered Alice's hand in a gentle hold, "I must find company…with you."

Marlene, Miranda, and Alice all surveyed the scene for a moment, observing me, Sirius, Remus, and Peter, then looked back to James, who was positively groveling on the carpet.

"Eh, sure, why not, Potter."

"Now just move, alright? We need to get this up the room before it cools."

And my friends, the great souls they were, marched past the kneeling Potter and chatted all the way up to the girl's dormitories.

I was in hysterics.

"That was just too…good! Oh, Merlin, I think my sides are splitting – I'm going to have to give them superb Christmas presents, I have the best mates ever – "

Suddenly, I felt a strange sensation graze my scalp. It wasn't unpleasant, but altogether unsettling.

"What just happened?" I asked nervously, knowing magic and its unexpected actions. Sirius and Remus both simultaneously jumped away a little bit.

"Holy Merlin's pants, that is fucking weird," Sirius said, looking at my head in awe.

"Well, since you're thoroughly replacing me," James said with a smile, "I decided to give you matching locks."

In horror, I reached up to my hair and instead of long, gingery goodness, found myself with the equivalent of a jet black pixie cut – not only that, but hair so untidy and messed up it was as if the Tasmanian Devil had ran through my head.

"What have you done!" I cried, before leaping up and sending a jet of red light shooting at James head. In a second his usual mop was replaced with wavy red locks.

It was just about the funniest thing I'd ever set eyes on. Peter, Sirius and Remus were very much in agreement, if their howls of laughter were any indication.

"Change me back!" James cried, almost in cardiac arrest.

"Only if you change me!" I shouted frantically back, my wand still pointed in his direction. Remus and Sirius were now practically rolling on the floor, and Peter had flipped off the edge of his chair.

Simultaneously, our spells shot across the room, but in the confusion they ended up hitting to sixth years who had been working on Transfiguration homework.

"Get it right, Potter!" I yelled as another two boys wound up with flowing ginger hair and a tornado mop.

"Speak for yourself!" he yelled back, and finally, my head was returned to normal.

Fingering a red curl, I sighed happily, before looking up at James who was almost ecstatically ruffling his own very messy hair.

Again.

The smarmy bastard. I just wanted to…

To…

Well, damn it.

"I'm going upstairs before I become a ginger," Sirius said, and Remus and Peter followed him up to the boys dorms, chortling cheerfully all the way.

"Gits," James muttered, and I laughed. The sound surprised him, and he looked back up from the ground, then stepped toward me slowly.

"You were acting a little weird at lunch today," James said, eyeing me in such a mature, calculated manner that I couldn't possibly see how this was the same person who was, minutes ago, propelling hair spells across the common room.

"Yeah, might've been something I ate," I said, acknowledging that it was probably the poorest excuse for anything I'd ever given before. "But guess what?"

"What?" James said, settling down into the seat recently vacated by Sirius. I sat down next to him.

"I think I may have just become friends with Sirius Black."

I had suspected surprise, but it was most certainly not what I got. Instead, it was utter delight – and a little bit of embarrassment, too.

"You – you and Padfoot – Sirius – friends?"

I swallowed a laugh. "Let me simplify it. Lily. Sirius. Friends."

"That's brilliant," James said, settling back into the armchair and folding his arms behind his head. All of a sudden, a look of panic crossed his eyes.

"Wait a second. He didn't say anything embarrassing about me, did he?" James said urgently.

"It depends on what you classify 'embarrassing'," I hedged, and James groaned. "But hey, look at it this way. There really isn't anything you could possibly do now that would embarrass you more than you have already in your lifetime."

James paused. "Thanks. I think."

"Don't mention it," I said, ruffling his hair. "By the way, I really do prefer you with your tornado mop."

"You wouldn't be nearly as great without your gingeryness," James agreed, taking a ringlet and twirling it around his finger.

I tried my best to hold it down, but a shade of crimson ended up tinting my cheeks. Too soon, James's hand slipped away and he had leaned away.

"See you later, Lily," James grinned.

"What? No! What are you – "

But he was already getting up from the chair and leaving me behind to stare at his back as he left through the portrait hole.

This frustration. I didn't know what it was, but if I didn't do something about it soon, I could guarantee a mental breakdown in the future.

A/N: Well, well, Lily.

I'll try to update soon, I've got time on my hands...

Drop a review by, it'll make the world sunny.

Love you all :)

-.x.