A/N: Augh, I suck. I pretty much had to force my fingers to type that fight scene, it just refused to be written naturally. So I'm really sorry if it's clunky, pplz. I tried to polish it as best I could. Oh yeah, two of Lei's lines in this chapter are from the Tekken anime, you'll most likely recognise them when you read them. Playlist's been updated at Livejournal. As always, thank you so, so much for the reviews for chapter 12, and I hope you like this new chapter. Click the little review button and let me know your thoughts on it, it will make me happy. :)

NEVER EVER

All I'm doing is learning to pretend to be strong...

Chapter 13: Drifting

"So clumsy..." Christie laughs, her hand still on my shoulder. I turn to face her, smile apologetically.

"Sorry about that. Tripped over my own feet."

"Well, if you're gonna fall on someone, fall on him." She nods her head in Hwoarang's direction. "I'm sure he wouldn't mind."

"I'm sure he wouldn't." say Hwoarang, and I shake my head as Christie smiles innocently. This girl... she never misses the an opportunity to tease me. I'm happy we've become friends so quickly.

"I guess I should train a bit." Christie says, stretching. "You guys wanna come?"

Ah, at least we're allowed to train together. Even though we can't watch matches, I suppose taking a sneaky peek when the other fighters train will help some. I still think the whole idea proves Heihachi has a screw loose though.

"Sounds good." I tell Christie. "I'll just go get changed."

"Right, see you there. You know where the gym is, right?"

I'm still shaken up from what just happened, so I decide to head to the bathroom nearby and splash some water on my face. As if that's gonna help. What would you call what I just saw? A vision? A premonition of what's gonna happen to me if I stay near Jin? Not that there's any chance of me staying near him anyway. He all but runs in the other direction to get away from me.

I really thought he felt the way I do. But earlier, when I told him I trusted him, I gave him the perfect opportunity to tell me what's happening, to explain things. I guess it might just come down to the fact that he'd prefer to deal with it all himself, but I can't help but feel hurt. I dunno, it just feels like he doesn't trust me.

The cold water tap sounds unnaturally loud, and I rest my elbows on the counter and stare at the running water for a moment before cupping my hands under it. I glance into the mirror and it reflects my tired face back. That alone wouldn't be so bad - I mean, I brought a new tube of concealer for my dark circles and it's nothing that a good night's sleep won't cure anyway - but it also reflects Jun's image, standing behind and to the right of me. I can't help but give a violent start, and as I stand there, frozen in surprise and fright, she slowly lifts her head, her eyes meeting mine in the mirror. I whirl around to face her, and nothing. When I turn back, the mirror only reflects what's there. I'm the only person in the room now.

The automatic air freshener on the wall nearby clicks, spraying lavender scent into the air and making me jump again, and I take a few deep breaths, trying to calm myself down. I'm not dreaming. I'm awake. Definitely awake. So... why? I turn to the mirror once more, accusingly, as if it could possibly explain. Again, it only shows my reflection. The room's still empty. And the tap's still running loudly, so I sigh and turn it off, reaching up to adjust the white alice band in my hair.

Huh? What alice band?

The door swings open just as I jerk backwards from the mirror, and Julia walks in, looking at me quizzically.

"Sorry, did I scare you?" she asks.

"...Uh, no, I'm just a bit jumpy. Too much sugar." I reply, forcing a smile.

When I glance back at the mirror, I'm me, hair accessory free (besides the two coloured bands that hold my pigtails in place), fringe that's partial to frizzing. But for a few seconds back then, I wasn't looking at my own reflection. I was looking at Jun's, and I'm officially creeped out beyond all measure.

The alarm on my phone wakes me up at nine the next morning, and I spend the hour before my match doing stretches and still being creeped out over yesterday. I know Jun wants me to help Jin, but the whole mirror apparition thing? Not cool. As a result of my inner musings, I can't concentrate on my warm up routine, so I end up abandoning it and arriving at the arena fifteen minutes early. Just to make things even better, it's the arena that looks like a shopping district. Yeah, the place where me and Jin reunited, and he was a complete prick to me. Just being in the place makes me think of how happy and excited I was, how I rushed over to him, the feel of his jacket against my cheek as I buried my face in his chest. I get the feeling the heavens are conspiring against my being able to concentrate on the fight today.

After a time, Lei shows up, and I can't help but smile. I'll always be grateful for how nice he was to me in the last tournament. I suppose I could say that if it weren't for him, me and Hwoarang might not have ended up stumbling across Toshin, but I also might not have got the chance to see Jin again before we left.

"It's been a long time." Lei grins.

"Yeah, where've you been hiding?"

"Oh, here and there." He folds his arms behind his head, stretching. "So, are you feeling confident, Xiaoyu?"

"Hmm, I dunno. I mean, I'm against a super-cop like you after all."

There's a pause, and I'm guessing somehow I just inserted my foot into my mouth, because Lei's carefree smile falters, then dissolves from his face, and he scratches his nose. After a few awkward seconds, he clears his throat, about to reply, but the sound of the PA system crackling into life stops him.

"This match is scheduled to begin in 60 seconds." A female voice announces coolly.

"Let's both do our best." Lei tells me, and I nod, hopping from foot to foot, the familiar feeling of pre-match anxiety knotting in my chest. This is gonna be tough as hell.

For the first few moments of the match, both of us simply study each other intently for any sign of movement, any flash in the eyes that would betray an imminent attack. I clench my jaw, feeling stiff and out of sorts, and not ready in the slightest when Lei makes the first move, his leg sweeping my feet from under me. I yelp in surprise, trying to right myself and only succeeding in smashing my elbow on the ground. Wow, what a promising start. Well, one thing I know from watching his matches at home is that he usually follows that particular sweep with a high roundhouse kick, so I don't spring to my feet the way I usually would, instead remaining sprawled in a heap on the floor. Just in time, I manage to gather my thoughts and roll out of the way of another low kick aimed at my head.

I rise into a crouch and mentally scream at myself to focus.

Right. Phoenix stance. It's familiar and comfortable, as long as I ignore the dull, completely self-inflicted ache in my elbow. Lei inches forward, most likely expecting a low attack from me, and as soon as he's close enough, I leap into the air, my foot lashing out and smashing into his face. I'm rewarded with a grunt of pain for my troubles, and the satisfying sound of my opponent hitting the ground. He jumps to his feet quickly, and I land two palm strikes to his midsection, sending him tumbling back to the floor. It doesn't take him a moment to recover. He palms away my next kick, countering with two quick punches aimed at my face. I block just in time, and his fists slam painfully into my forearms.

My mind is unfocused, thoughts scattered, and as the match progresses and I block and counter, block and counter, I find myself recalling Jun's face staring at me from the mirror. A cold uneasiness crawls through me, and I narrow my eyes, trying to focus on Lei and shake the memory. All I can see in his eyes is steely determination, none of that usual carefree attitude. I suppose we're all the same when we're fighting.

Raising an arm, I knock away the fist that's hurtling towards my head and counter with a strong kick to the side of his face. He staggers back but doesn't fall - evidently my kick wasn't strong enough - and recovers with lightning speed, throwing a solid right hook that I just about manage to evade, his knuckles grazing my nose. The momentum of the punch is enough to spin him away from me, and I make the mistake of attempting to punish what I figure is an error. His fast uppercut slams into my chin, lifting me off the ground. And all I can think of as my back hits concrete (other than 'ow', obviously) is that I really should have known better.

I do manage to recover well, rolling forward and taking up the Phoenix stance once more. I hit Lei with a quick Wave Crest, my forearms crashing into his face and sending him sprawling back. He must be getting tired, I didn't put that much strength behind that. I don't have that much strength to give. Again, we stand facing each other, watching for that first glimmer of movement that precedes an attack, and this time it's me that makes the first move.

I put my whole weight behind a high kick, praying that it'll connect, but Lei rears back quickly to avoid it and his arms windmill round then thrust forward in a palm strike that smashes into my stomach. I double over in pain, gulping in air. He follows up with a barrage of punches that force me back. Somehow I manage to block the finishing kick he throws to my midsection, but he immediately switches to a backflip kick, catching me under the chin again. Needless to say, after that, my face hurts even more. I can taste blood in my mouth. Lei gives me no time to recover, and by the time I stumble to my feet he's changed stance, balancing on one leg, the other knee raised. Though I manage to palm the first kick away, his low followup kick crunches into me, sending pain spiking through my ankles and knocking me off my feet. Again.

My whole body's aching, my breath short, and now it's all I can do to defend against the barrage of blows headed my way. I can't see any opening to attack, everything Grandfather told me about Lei's weak areas has flown out of my head, and I'm just too tired and in too much pain to try and remember. Just as I'm sure the next kick will catch me and finish the match, he stops his assault. I watch him suspiciously, unsure of what to expect, and he suddenly drops to the floor, laying on his stomach. Ah, now this one I know. I've seen it before. He's about to scramble up and hit me with a sweeping kick to the side of the head. This one I don't have to block. I can dodge, thank God. Sure enough, he scrambles to his feet. I drop into a crouch, expecting the kick to slash the air above my head. It doesn't. A sliding kick hits me in the chest full force, knocking the breath out of me, and I land heavily, my vision swimming. I can't do this. All I want to do is lay here and catch my breath.

By some miracle though, I struggle to my feet. My vision darkens, mists over, Lei's image blurs before me. Our surroundings melt away, and he suddenly looks so much younger, his hair shorter. His mouth's moving, forming words that I can't hear at first.

"...I didn't believe it could be a petite woman like you."

What are you talking about?

"I just had to see it for myself. I know it was rude not to introduce myself first, please, forgive me."

As I stand there in confusion, his image blurs again and he's running towards me, his long black ponytail streaming out behind him. I stare in panic as it dawns on me that he's about to leap into a flying kick, and I have no time to block. This feeling of panic flares and fades, and without thinking I throw myself into a backflip kick, somehow much more gracefully than usual, and then follow up the attack with an uppercut in a style I've never used before. Lei hits the ground with a groan of pain, struggling to get up as I stand over him, a blanket of calm descending over me.

"Argh... lucky shot." Lei rasps, trying to sit up.

After a long moment, the PA system crackles.

"Ling Xiaoyu wins!"

"Are you... okay?" I ask Lei.

"Ugh, I almost had you. You should thank whoever taught you those Kazama-style moves..." He accepts my hand and I help pull him to his feet. "D-didn't expect that in a million years."

"Kazama style?" I repeat. The feeling of calm that just overcame me's fading quickly.

"Let's just say the last time a woman hit me like that was in the second tournament."

It's 3:45 in the morning when I open my eyes, sit up and hug my knees to my chest in the gloom. I don't wake up with a start from some kind of bad dream. It feels more like it's natural for me to wake up at this time, like it's something I always do. For the record, I'm lazy as sin, and I'd sleep in until noon if I could, so this should feel like the least natural thing in the world to me. But I sit there, wide awake yet relaxed, staring at the dim glow of the moon through the curtains.

"What are you thinking about?"

"Nothing." My voice is soft, my breathing regular and even, not surprised in the slightest at the intrusion on my peaceful solitude. Jin's standing in the doorway to the room. He doesn't come in, or try and press the conversation forward. He just stands there and watches me.

"What's happening to you?" I ask after a long silence.

"I really don't know." His clothes rustle as he moves to lean against the doorframe. "I don't understand it yet. That's why I'm like I am. That's why you can't help."

"But we can work together, can't we?"

He shakes his head.

"You know how I am."

"Let me guess." I get up and walk over to him. "It's dangerous? Like last time?"

"Especially now. With all three of us together in this tournament..."

"All three of you? Who?"

"Me, my father... Heihachi... it's worse than last time."

"Why?"

"Because..." He gazes at the floor, seemingly searching for a way to explain. "I can't protect you."

"I don't need protecting." I say quickly, a knee-jerk reaction, and Jin's gaze locks with mine. The misery in his eyes is unbearable, and I do the only thing I can do, I reach out for him. Maybe to touch his face, maybe to pull him close, I don't know. Either way, it doesn't matter. He steps backwards out of reach, and looks over my shoulder at something in the room.

"You really do." He says, barely audible, and I follow his gaze to the bed where I'm sleeping soundly, my hair half-covering my face, one arm dangling over the edge of the bed. For a few moments, I just watch myself sleep, and then Jin's footsteps sound on the carpet and I turn back to him. He's gone, and as I rush to the open door and peer out into the darkness, a sudden sense of loss clutches at my heart. It's hard to explain, but it's as though I'm finally realising that I can never get back the Jin from two years ago - a feeling that no matter how much I try to hold onto him, he'll continue to drift further and further away from me until he's out of sight.

Little by little, I began to accept
That there are wounds from the past that won't heal
And that I can't stop the future
And fearing it won't change anything.

-- No Way To Say, Ayumi Hamasaki