A/N: Relatively quick update, it should actually have been much quicker since I've had most of this chapter and the next one written for over a year, so I'm sorry it took a bit longer than I intended. I'm really grateful for the reviews for the last chapter, thanks for letting me know your thoughts, guys! SacredOrder, I just wanted to say that your comment about the fic being the only reason you come to the site made me so happy, that's a huge compliment, thank you! I'll just take the time to answer two questions before the start of this chapter. So to answer Fiona91's question, hmm... well maybe the 'love triangle' is a bit more balanced than in Monochrome. But since the fic's starting to get close to the end, I'll leave it up to you to decide. :) And Grace Yu, you're right that Namco have left the pairing hanging. It wasn't really hard for me to decide the ending though, I knew when I first started it how it was going to end! Thanks for the questions! I hope you all enjoy this chapter, I'll try and get the next chapter sorted and posted sometime soon.
NEVER EVER
I still remember everything
Your voice calling my name, your casual habits
I want to forget and yet I don't want to forget.
Chapter Twenty Four: Gravity
After a while of being pulled along by Hwo, our surroundings whizzing past, tripping over my own feet in an attempt to keep up, the confusion starts to fade and anger is quick to rush up in its place. It seems we've lost the soldiers for now, but that doesn't give us that much time I'm guessing. At the moment we're running through the drab grey corridors of the staff-only areas, and as we crash through yet another set of double doors, Hwoarang slows his pace, and they almost hit me square in the face as they squeakily swing back. Which doesn't help my mood any.
We've emerged in one of the arenas, it's the faux high street that I recognise only too well from my close-to-disastrous first match with Lei. Oh, and, y'know, from that time where I first saw Jin again. The memory of him telling me he was sorry I waited for him makes my throat tighten, and the way he treated me then makes so much more sense now. I need to see him again. I can't let go. Even if we can't be together, still... I still want to help. Jun believed I could, that's got to mean something, right?
"They're not after you." Hwo's telling me. "So if we do end up getting caught, you'd better take any damned opportunity you've got to get the hell away from 'em. Otherwise I'll kick your ass outta the fuckin' helicopter on the way back to base."
"Well that makes me feel ten times better." I snap. He ignores me, letting go of my wrist and trying a few of the boutique doors. None of them budge, which kinda makes sense, since they're probably just decorative. He looks around for a moment, then quickly grabs my hand again and heads through the gates that lead to the forest arena, immediately veering off the pathway and into the overgrown greenery.
"You didn't seem too surprised to see those guys." I say bitterly, pushing branches and leaves out of my way. "Is that why you wanted to leave the complex? 'Cause you knew they were looking for you?"
He doesn't answer, and I grit my teeth.
"And here I was thinking you just wanted to help cheer me up a little bit. But it was 'cause they were after you, wasn't it? It was nothing to do with helping me out."
"For fuck's sake, Xiao." he growls, both of us sloshing through dirty, ankle-deep water now. I'm really regretting putting sandals on. "You might not think it, but you're not the only one with problems."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"What I said. You're not the only one who's got fucking issues, Xiao. Yeah, I knew they'd show up. Yeah, I did figure going outside might buy me some more time. But it doesn't mean that was the only reason. Stop acting like a damned brat."
He stops next to a massive fallen tree trunk, and I look at him stupidly for a second before I notice that it's all hollowed out on one side, which'd make it the perfect hiding place if it wasn't for the fact that the ground below it is glistening and slippery with mud. Great. Just what I needed to make today even better. Hwo glares at me, looking about as irritated as I feel, and I'm kinda worried he might shove me face first into said mud unless I show a bit of willing, so I begrudgingly crawl into the hollow and make space for him to follow suit.
The sound of rippling water and rustling leaves are the only things I can hear as the full gravity of the whole situation finally catches up with me, and I hug my knees to my chest as though it'll keep the anger from spilling out. I can feel it, roaring through my veins and twisting in my chest and threatening to explode out of my mouth at any moment, but I really don't think screaming at Hwoarang is an option right now.
As we sit there not speaking, in my case because I don't trust myself and in his case, I dunno, probably because he knows how I'm likely to react, snow begins to fall. I watch the flakes skitter through the air. Snow always seems to bring a sort of gentle quietness with it, and I try to let this hush settle over me, let my anger start to fade. It works. But only a little.
"I just can't believe you." I hiss as loudly as I dare. "Why would you be so stupid?"
Hwoarang graces me with a sidelong glance but doesn't reply. Maybe he doesn't see this as the right time to be chatting, which, okay, is a fair point, but I can't help myself.
"I'm not gonna pretend I know anything about codes of conduct or whatever, but even I know that the army doesn't tend to look kindly on idiots who ditch." I spit the last word, struggling to keep from raising my voice. He shrugs.
"...Bored."
"What?"
"Heard about the tournament, figured it'd be more entertaining than what I was stuck doing there."
"Oh, and how does a court martial sound, then? Remind me, Hwoarang, what is it they can do again? Fine you? Throw you in prison? Execute you?" My voice wavers, and I swallow hard, watching the snow. "That sound entertaining enough?"
"Nah, sounds more like overreaction to me."
I can't believe he can just brush this off as if it isn't a big deal.
"So why run away then?" I challenge. "If you're not even worried about what they'll do, why not just go back with them instead of-"
"Where'd the fun be in that?" he interrupts.
"Do I look like I'm having fun?"
I want to scream at him, shake him, but there aren't too many quiet ways to beat sense into someone, and I'd rather we didn't get discovered.
"Well, sorry you got involved..."
He sounds petulant. I don't look at him, tears are welling in my eyes and I don't dare try and speak just yet because I know I'll start crying.
"I can't believe you..." I repeat after a while, voice barely a whisper. "I thought you were smart. But you just decide to skip out for no reason other than you're bored? What are you, five?"
"And what are you, fifty? Quit fuckin' lecturing." he snaps.
"Ugh, Hwoarang, just grow the hell up."
The faint sound of footsteps stalls our argument, and I shrink as far back into our little hiding place as possible. Hwoarang's arm wraps around my shoulders, pulling me tight against him, and both of us are perfectly still as the footsteps approach, their owner moving at a purposeful speed and rhythm. The hissing of radio static mixes with our hushed breathing.
"Copy that. Yes, confirmed sightings of both of them. Yes. Hon-Maru..."
The voice is male, smooth, authoritative, and judging by the accent, definitely doesn't belong to any of the soldiers who're after us. Whoever it is doesn't even break their stride as they stroll past us, but I still don't dare move until the footsteps and the static fade away completely.
"Who was...?" I trail off, feeling the slight movement as Hwoarang shrugs.
"No idea."
"And what's Hon-Maru?"
"Dunno."
A shiver runs through me. He wasn't talking about us, so who did he mean by 'both of them'? I wish I knew what's really going on. I remember one of the times I dreamed of Jin, he said 'it's worse than last time'. What could be worse than Toshin?
"...It wasn't just being bored." Hwoarang whispers after a long moment, still keeping me pressed close to him. "I had other reasons."
"Reasons that were worth the risk?" I ask, forgetting my inner musings for a second, all my anger rushing back.
"I'd say so, yeah."
"Enlighten me then."
"...Does it matter?
"Yeah, it does. I wanna know what the hell could possibly be worth getting thrown in military prison for."
He gives me a long look and then sighs as I wait for him to explain further.
"Just drop it, ok? The reason's fucking irrelevant... It's done now."
A blinding light gleams in my face and I squint, my eyes struggling to adjust to the glare, disappointment and dread settling heavily in the pit of my stomach at the sight of the soldier aiming his gun down at us. He flashes a brilliant smile.
"You're damned right it's done now."
Have I chosen the wrong path?
No matter who I ask, I can't get an answer.
- Hanabi ~episode II~, Ayumi Hamasaki