A/N: Thanks for the reviews for the last chapter guys and girls! I'm glad you enjoyed it even though there was a cliffhanger there at the end. I've just got to say, Dilu, it's so great to hear from you again! I was so happy you reviewed and liked the story, I hope you enjoy the rest of it too. And Razer, I love you. I meant the other definition of waxing lol. I hope you guys like this chapter, I'm aware it might be a little hard to follow so please let me know if it is so that I can improve on scenes like these in the future.

NEVER EVER

I can do anything for your smile
My precious treasure
My precious treasure.

Chapter Twenty Seven: Schism

Hey, kiddo.

This's gonna have to be a really quick one, 'cause the post's due out in about five minutes, but I dunno if you're even getting these anyway, so yeah. Probably not worth the effort. Anyway, on the off chance that you do get this, here's the deal. Got a letter from Mi, she said you're not your idiotic, annoying self lately 'cause you love me too much. Well, she actually just said you're quiet and stuff, and I should write you or call you. But I can read between the lines. Listen, I know it's tough, not having someone awesome around, but keep your chin up. Don't start getting all depressive and shit. I can't speak for Kazama, the dick, but I can't get back any sooner, whether you mope and cry or not, so what's the point? But still. I hope you've not been crying.

Jin's mouth is searingly hot against mine, and I shove at his chest, twist out of his grip to escape and get nowhere. Everything's gone. The cheerful bubbling of the river, the sunlight, Jun. All that's left is us. All I can hear now is myself, pleading for him to let go, to leave me alone.

"You wouldn't do either of those things when I asked you to." Jin clutches at my wrist, grabs a fistful of my hair and tugs me to him. I can feel his ragged breath as well as hear it, his lips are on the back of my neck, one arm crushing me against him. "And now you expect me to?"

"I only wanted to help you…" I sob, and I feel him smile against my skin. He relaxes his grip on me, turns me to face him.

"And do you still want to help me now?" he murmurs, stroking my tears away with his thumb. "Now you've actually seen me?"

"But it's not you…" I start, and his grin widens.

"Then who is it?"

I don't know how to answer him, so I don't try.

"I dreamed about you so many times." I whisper instead. "I thought it meant something. I thought you were trying to reach me, to ask for help…"

Hate me.

Suddenly, there's the sound of the ocean. I'm sitting on the sand, knees pulled up to my chest, gazing at the early sunset on the horizon, all brilliant blues, purples, pinks. Jin is beside me, and he leans back on his hands, the studs on his gloves glinting as they catch the light. The breeze plays with his hair when he looks over at me with a smile.

"I know." He nods towards the sea, where there's a little girl sitting down in the surf, her black hair in pigtails. "And do you know why?"

I stare at the girl, expressionless. She's crying, rubbing at her eyes with her fists.

And I do know why. Because she's still part of me. That little girl who thinks things'll work out like they do in fairytales. Who cries when she thinks she's been left alone. That's why I thought he was trying to reach me. Because deep down, part of me is still that naive child.

Curse me.

"I've dreamed about you, too." he says, and now we're in the temple from two years ago, bathed in the warm glow from the torches mounted on the walls. Again, I'm watching from a distance as I struggle to free myself from Jin's grip, his hands tight around my throat, my shoes scuffing against the floor.

This time though, it isn't Jun by my side as I watch my body tumble to the ground, the bruise forming a dark butterfly on my neck. It's Jin, his eyes looking so much more frightening in the gloom, leaning in close to whisper in my ear.

"In my dreams, I overtake him completely. That's why I wanted you here."

And we're not in the temple any more. I'm sitting on my bed in the hotel room with my sheets wrapped around me, the moon glowing through the curtains, Jin standing in the doorway.

"I can't protect you." he says, and now I understand why.

"Do you still want to help me now?" he asks.

Hate me.

Everything's gone. The glow of the moon, the warmth and softness of the sheets, Jin. All that's left is me. All I can hear now is my own breathing. And for a moment, in the overwhelming quiet and stillness, I want to call for someone. It doesn't matter who it is, I just want to call for anyone to come and find me, to plead with them to just hold onto me and not leave me alone.

But I don't. Because I get it now. Maybe that little girl is still a part of me, but she's not the only part of me. So instead, I just take a deep breath and call Jin's name one more time. The last.

"Don't call for me any more." he says, and he sounds so tired. "I'm not who I was. I can't ever be who I was. Accept it."

I know you've changed. I want to say, but the words refuse to come out. But can't you see you're not the only one?

His words echo in my head. I can't ever be who I was. And something shifts, falls into place.

Curse me.

I remember that spring when we met. I remember the girl I was then, talking to the boy he used to be. How he smiled when I asked him silly questions. How he kissed me and confused me that first time. Slight glimpses of the real him when we were alone together. Back then I was just an ordinary girl with normal problems. Homework, silly little fights with my friends, trying to get out of doing chores. I'm not who I was, either. All of it, everything that happened last time, this time. They've changed me, too. I'm not just the little girl with the stupid daydreams any more. I know we're not going to overcome this and live happily ever after. I know that. I know I can't keep clinging to those memories much longer. That girl, that boy… I have to let them go.

Even though I've been resisting it, denying it, trying to find a workaround this whole time, I know all of this. Forget the fights I've had in the tournament, forget beating Lei, blocking Lee's path, falling to Julia. This was always the reason I came here, the fight that mattered most. It's all but over. I know that. But there's one thing I need to make sure he knows.

"We've both changed." I hear myself say, and I know I'm crying again even though this time I can't feel the tears. "I know we can't be together. But that doesn't mean I want to help you any less."

He shoves me away hard enough that I stumble and fall, his eyes wide, voice incredulous.

Hate me.

I try and get to my feet, and he grabs me by the ragged remains of my jacket, his face twisting in pain.

"You think someone who could do what I've done to you - what I could do to you - is worth saving? You've seen me, how can you still not understand what I am?"

The pain across my chest, up until now hardly noticeable, increases tenfold, as if to validate what he's saying.

"I'm cursed with the blood of the devil," he says as I grit my teeth against the ache. "And that blood should stop with me before I do something that I can never be forgiven for. Why is that so hard for you to understand?"

"Because it isn't what you are! It's part of you, not all of you!"

He lets go of me, and I can see he's fighting back tears. We're back at the stream, next to the glittering water.

"Not yet. But soon."

I start to cry, now. Harsh, wrenching sobs that hurt my chest and throat, but hurt my heart so much more. I'm crying for Jin, for myself, for everything we were and are and could have been, and as he wraps his arms around me one more time I wonder if he's crying for the same reasons.

"Not yet." he says again, stroking my back, trying to soothe me. "Not yet."

I tighten my grip on him.

"Keep fighting."

And I'm not asking as the little girl who doesn't want to be alone. I'm asking as the girl who wants Jin to overcome this, who never wants him to do something he can't be forgiven for.

"I will." he says. "For as long as I can."

I can accept that. I can't ask for anything more.

My head starts to throb, vision swimming. Somewhere far away, I can hear him saying that knowing he's got my support makes it easier, I can hear him saying 'thank you' in that soft voice I missed so much while he was gone. But what sticks in my mind the most is 'goodbye', just before everything fades to white.

One day, when the sun's rays poured down like usual
And a gentle wind fluttered by
Alone, I felt something inside me
Quietly
Become strong and sure.

- JEWEL, Ayumi Hamasaki