The next few days they spend training with the crew, going over tactics and maneuvers, and then they head upstairs while the mercenaries head to the barracks. The next few nights pass in similar fashion–Maya and the Clone have their fun, and Maya goes to take a shower and then heads to the couch to sleep by herself. It's after several nights that the Clone decides to follow her into the shower.
Maya faces the wall, away from the door, reaching for her bottle of body wash, so she doesn't notice the Clone until she slides a hand down her back. "Here, let me help." The Clone grabs her loofah, holding it up so Maya can pour a little body wash on it.
Turning, Maya eyes her curiously, as if this whole scenario is a trap. "I thought you'd be in bed."
Biting her lip, the Clone holds the sponge under the water, letting the soap turn into suds. "Kind of hard to go back to sleep after that." It's not completely a lie. She rubs the loofah across Maya's shoulders.
"You know, this shower's really not big enough for us to both bathe in it at the same time."
Stepping closer, the Clone snorts. "Not the point, Maya." She kisses the soap off her shoulder, running the loofah down her back.
Maya sighs softly, her hands sliding around the Clone's back. "What's this about?"
Damnit.
She's too nervous to spin her words like Maya does, so the Clone just blurts out the first thing that comes to mind. "Why do you fuck me then leave?"
This time, Maya sighs out of frustration. "I told you not to get your feelings involved." She pulls back. "This is supposed to be fun."
"It is fun." The Clone sighs too, putting the loofah aside. "It's just…"
Maya grips her chin, forcing her to meet her eyes. "You think you're in love with me."
The Clone opens her mouth to protest, but it's a lie and she's terrible at lying, and they both know it.
At first Maya softens. Reaching out, she brushing her thumb along the Clone's cheek. She leans into that hand, feeling an ache forming inside her chest. Then she reaches out too, wanting to touch Maya's lips, her cheeks, her shoulders, and other places. The thought makes her blush.
Maya's eyes looks past her own, as if she sees right through her. "Love is a lie people tell themselves to hide their own weakness." Her thumb and fingers slide down, gripping her chin. "Warm feelings are nothing more than synapses firing in the brain—a chemical high." Her heart races as Maya leans closer; she can feel Maya's breath on her lips. "Love is desire with lipstick," Maya whispers in a low voice that made the Clone's stomach curl, brushing her lips against her own, "and sex is the most powerful drug in the galaxy."
If it's a drug, then the Clone knows she's an addict, and she doesn't want an intervention. She doesn't want to be sober, ever. "You make it sound so...clinical. What's wrong with enjoying it?"
"I am enjoying it." Maya slides the Clone's hand down between her legs to illustrate her point. "I'm just not stupid enough to get my feelings involved."
"You're telling me you feel nothing when we do this." The Clone kisses her with every fiber of her being, tracing her curves from her shoulders to her waist.
"Of course," Maya answers her between wet kisses, "I feel," drinking her in along with the water "endorphins." She pushes the Clone's head away, breathing raggedly. "But I don't mistake them for anything else."
"I don't believe you." The Clone pulls away, reaching for the door.
Maya wraps her arms around the Clone, nuzzling her shoulder. "You know it's the truth. You just don't want to believe it." Her lips graze the back of the Clone's neck, and she whispers "Now, are you going to go pout? Or are you going to stay here and enjoy yourself?"
It's hard to say no when Maya's kissing her like that. The Clone decides to stay. There is nothing wrong with enjoying herself, is there? Even if she wants more. Too much is at stake for her to go looking elsewhere, and besides, people aren't static. If the Clone can grow so much in a year, why not the woman she lo-cares for?