[a/n] sorry for not updating in ages! I had writers block for ages then I had a day where I wrote four chapters... Then my computer got a virus and I lost them, much to my annoyance! Sorry about that!
I stayed in that room for three days and three nights. Felix brought me food and water and changed my sheets and brought new blankets and diapers for the girls.
But eventually I had to accept it. I stank of sweat and required a shower. So when Felix came for his afternoon visit, I asked him to stay. I ate my lunch, then I took Soara and he took Zelda and we walked round to the infirmary.
We had to go into the main corridor for literally a few seconds, but in those few seconds... Well I've never felt so stared at in my life. I suppose it was to be expected. I was wearing no makeup, my hair was a mess, I looked grimy and I was still wearing the clothes I'd given birth in.
But I didn't care. Me and my brother were carrying my babies. Most of the base knew the ordeal I'd been through, giving birth to twins alone. Now they could see the babies not just a bump, and it gave me a sense of pride. Perhaps it would dent my dignity and the respect I had but I didn't care. I loved my girls.
In the infirmary, Felix told me to shower and get changed into fresh clothes whilst he sorted my girls, put them into baby grows and set up a cot for them. So I did. Honestly, a shower has never felt so good.
When I came back, my girls were sleeping.
It was then that I noticed Isinia for the first time. She turned to meet my stare and I swallowed the lump in my throat. She was pale, and thin, and there were wires and monitors attached to her, making irregular sounds.
Isinia smiled weakly, "Don't worry Kat; it's not as bad as it looks." She joked.
I forced myself to smile back, although I knew that wasn't the truth. I was horrified to see her in such a state. Neither Doggie nor Felix had mentioned to me just how weak the birth had made her.
Then a squeaking sound came from next to her bed. I recognised instantly that it wasn't Mitchell. I would have known my sons cry anywhere. I wondered if he was okay – how come Rachel's cry hadn't made him cry?
Pushing the thought to the back of my mind I settled down in my, admittedly more comfortable, bed. My daughters looked content. I laid back and closed my eyes, exhaling with content. Life was going to be good from here on in, I decided.
I spent all day seeing the rangers; Syd and Z stayed the longest, cooing over them both in turn. Bridge managed to make them giggle, by playing peek-a-boo. Sky looked over his shoulder and told me that they were gorgeous – but I can tell he's not so much into babies. Even Jack came in for a visit, and held them both.
By the time night came, I was shattered. And for the first time I could sleep peacefully, knowing my babies would have instant care if they needed it, knowing that nothing could happen to them here.
Just as I was about to fall asleep, it occurred to me that I needed to use the toilet. Sighing with frustration, I got out of my bed and walked swiftly to the toilet, trying no to look at Isinia as I passed her.
On the way back from the toilet, I stopped just by Isinia's bed. She was sleeping, and Cruger was gone. The moon shone slightly over the glass cots of Rachel and Mitchell
Did I dare look? I hadn't seen Rachel yet, and I hadn't seen Mitchell since I gave him to Felix.
I edged forward a little, swallowing nervously.
Isinia grunted and I leapt backwards, but then I realised she was dreaming.
I crept forwards again, and peered into the cot nearest to Isinia. This must be Rachel, I realised. She was beautiful, snowy white with some blue flecks and a couple spikes of blue hair. She was a big baby, already bigger than my girls.
Then I sighed. Did I dare look? I didn't want to. If I did, what's to say I wouldn't snatch him back and run off with him? He was my son. My Mitchell. I took a few deep breaths, before slowly dragging my gaze to his cot.
And when I did my chest felt like it was collapsing. He was so tiny! His tiny chest rose and fell rapidly and I could hear him snuffling as he breathed. And he was mine. The moonlight shone across his face from the window above him and it came to my attention how handsome he was, just like his father... He would grow to be a strong boy. But for now I just wanted to pick him up and cuddle him close. I felt so tempted.
Suddenly, without warning, Mitchell turned his head toward me and his eyes snapped open. I jumped. My heart started racing as his green eyes met with mine. I felt rooted to the spot. Please don't cry, I begged silently, if you do I'm buggered, I can't move!
Wait... Did I just say his eyes were green? Crap! He had my eyes! My breathing picked up. I was sweating again with panick. It couldn't be! Cruger had brown eyes and Isinia's were grey... Crap!
But Mitchell wasn't crying. He was just looking at me calmly, almost sorrowfully. Did he know what I'd done? I couldn't bear to think about it.
"I'm sorry..." I whispered to him. "It was for your fathers' sake..." I begun to back away, and the tiny little boy squeaked in protest. "I'm sorry!" I said, a little louder this time. Then I ran to my bed and threw myself under the covers, crying to myself as he wailed.