Our shopping spree ends early as Bree leads me to the car, refusing to let go of my arm. Once we get in she locks the doors. I don't care: my mind is trapped in a shell while the rest of my body is on autopilot. I keep reliving those months from two years ago I believed were behind me for good. How is this going to affect my life? First bionics, now Jacob? What about basketball, the team of girls counting on me? My mind needs to be focused on the next game tomorrow. I have no time for phycopathic ex-boyfriends!
She drags me inside, not releasing her grip on my shirt until we are in the bathroom. My hands shake terribly as I turn the faucet on and splash my face with water. Bree leans against the counter with arms crossed loosely. "So Jacob hurt you pretty badly, then?" She asks. I brace myself against the sink, focusing on not collapsing into a puddle then and there.
"Yeah, I don't think the mental part of it will ever go away. He took my pride, messed with my mind...I almost fell into depression."
"What saved you?"
I hesitate a moment before answering. Bree would never betray my trust and it is time I told her all of it, I suppose. "Basketball," I exhale, "I took counseling and my parents were incredibly supportive but there was still this nagging feeling that I was worthless and nobody wanted to be around me, which was a total lie at the time. I hadn't told my friends but they noticed the change in my behavior. A few months later were tryouts and a friend talked me into trying out for the team. When the shock died that I actually made it I realized the world was still spinning, that life wasn't over. I never really considered myself good but practiced on my own, too. It took a while, but eventually I got to where I am now."
Bree is silent a while, staring at the floor. To hide my shaking I press against the counter and squeeze my shoulders together. It feels like I just handed over my soul and said here, please don't damage it or kill me. I trust you now and I am praying you do not tell others because it is a secret. "That's why it's so important to you," she nods slowly. "Wow, I'm so sorry." I fall into her hug and close my eyes, desperately wanting Jacob to leave me alone for the rest of my life. If I never see him again it will be too soon.
I find Tasha before dinner and ask if I could eat in my room. I feel bad about not being with the others but need this time alone. They would notice something wrong and try to cheer me up, which would inadvertantly drag me down further. Placing the plate back on the tray I cross to the window, hearing the ringing throuh the phone to my ear. After three rings a voice answers and I almost break down. "Hi, Mom."
"Audrey! Hang on and I'll put you on speaker so Dad can hear, too." I ask about their trip before either can say anything. When I run out of questions they pounce.
"What are you not telling? I can hear it in your voice," Dad insists. With a deep breath I relay what happened at the mall. "Oh, baby," Mom says in that motherly-concern voice. "Oh, sweetie, its alright. You have so many people who care about you. We'll come home early, how's that?"
"No," I sniffle, "please no. I want you to stay. I have Bree and the Davenports to watch out for me. Please stay, I'll be fine. Most of the time is at school anyways." With a sigh she agrees.
"I love you, Audrey."
"Love you too, Mom."
"We miss you," Dad says.
"Yeah, I miss you two."
"Stay away from boys, sweetie," Dad signs off with, leaving a faint smile on my face. I do have people who love me.
Pulling my clothes off I take a shower, brush my teeth, remove the small amount of makeup, and fall facedown onto the bed, wanting nothing more than to sleep it all away.