A/N - sorry if this chapter (especially the end) is absolutely rubbish. I didn't quite know what to write, or how, and I think it might have dragged a little.
As always I own nothing.

I sat up in my hospital bed, holding a snugly swaddled Soara in my arms. She cooed quietly, and gummed on the swaddle blanket. Zelda's ears twitched at the sound of her sister moving around.

I stared blankly ahead. Isinia was gone. It was two days after her death, and the atmosphere was getting more and more sullen every minute. The whole infirmary was silent, except for noise from the babies. Nobody talked or played music. Nobody hummed to themselves as they worked or brought the patients treats for no reason. Not any more, anyway.

From the corner of my eye I could see Felix sorting papers next to his desk. He was casting me the occasional glance but I tried not to meet them. I didn't want to have to smile or say anything. Isinia was dead. And nobody would ever know how much that changed everything.

Her bed was empty, stripped of all bedding, and the monitors were gone. But the glass cribs containing Rachel and Mitchell, remained where they had always been. Occasionally Cruger came to visit them; well, when I say visit I mean wander in, stare at them for a few minutes and then leave without a word. He was obviously struggling. Privately, I had never thought of him as the fatherly type, and had guessed it would be Isnia doing most of the raising. But now Isinia was gone, and that left it up to Doggie.

"Kat, are you feeling okay?" Felix's voice beside me made me jump.

"Yes," I replied, feeling flustered. "I'm fine."

"Soara's crying," Felix pointed out.

I blinked, as I realised he was right. She was hungry of course. Why hadn't I noticed? Feeling my skin prickle with guilt, I picked her up and begun to suckle her, then let my mind go blank again.

"Kat are you sure you're fine?" My brother interrupted my thoughts again. I nodded, without saying anything.

"Okay..." Felix sounded reluctant to leave it. "I know that Isinia's death was hard on you." I tensed. "I want you to know if you ever feel you can't cope, with anything that's happened over the last year, you are more than welcome to talk to me about it, or we can get a counsellor... Especially over Mitchell. Now Isinia's gone it does change a lot, maybe you should talk with a professional to help you decide what to do now-"

I hissed angrily, as I felt my brother touch on a nerve. I was feeling very sensitive about everything, especially today, and now was not the time for Felix to be an ignorant douche bag, "Felix, don't you have some paperwork to file? I'm fine! Yes, I'm grieving for Isinia, we all are. I'm also tired. But I'm not depressed or loopy! I can cope!" I glared at him. How dare he treat me like some weak, fragile... Gah! I hissed again and looked away.

He looked taken aback, and left without saying another word. I snorted with annoyance, knowing he'd be back again within the hour trying to make amends.

It was only a matter of minutes before I was proven correct, "Listen, Kat, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have hinted you were unable to cope. And I shouldn't have brought Mitchell into the equation." I blinked in acceptance and thanks. Felix paused. "But you know... There is one person who definitely can't cope at the moment..."

"Cruger." I sighed. "I did notice."

"I think he needs a pep talk. From someone he trusts," Felix looked at me meaningfully.

I threw my head back against my pillow, "Why me?" I whined, suddenly feeling like a stroppy five year old. Or Syd, for that matter.

Felix just raised his eyebrows at me. "I think it would do you good to get up, and out of this infirmary," he chirped brightly. "Do it for Doggie?" He suggested with a mischievous grin. "He needs you."

I growled in mock annoyance. Felix had played a good card there; he knew I was stubborn, and wouldn't do anything I didn't want to, but he also knew that when it came to Doggie I would bend over backwards to see him happy.

I sighed and looked down at Soara, then across to Zelda who was sleeping now. They were a week old now. Leaving for an half an hour or so wouldn't hurt them I was sure. And Doggie needed me. Felix was right.

"Fine," I huffed. "I'll go and get dressed."

XXXX

Ten minutes later and I was striding down the corridor, my heels clacking against the hard floor. My black pencil skirt and white blouse felt a bit tight from my still slightly swollen baby belly, and I hoped it didn't show as I passed my colleagues. Not one of said colleagues failed to look at me, by the way. The looks were a mixture - some were surprised looks that I was back to work so early (or so they thought); others looked at me in awe knowing I had delivered twins alone in a storage cupboard and kept my dignity (gossip travels fast around here especially when you share your stories with a certain B-Squad); others seemed curious as to why I wasn't still spending time with my children, wondering where they were; and others gave me a sympathetic look, which I hated. I tried to act as normal as I could as I tried to find Doggie.

I knew where I was going. I entered my LAB, for the first time since going into labour. I was surprised to find it was still in tact and tidy. Boom was working on my computer in the corner. When he saw me, he stood up straight.

"Kat!" He called. Happiness crossed his face for a split second, then left, leaving behind an awkward expression. "How are you, ma'am?" He's looking at me as if I've transformed into someone else, as if I've become a different person, I realised with a jolt of sadness. He thinks things will never be the same between us again.

"I'm very well thank you, Boom," I gave him my warmest smile. "I haven't seen you in the infirmary."

"Oh... Yes... Well," Boom shrugged indifferently. "Things to do here, y'know. Looking after the lab, keeping on top of all your work."

"So I can see," I looked around again. "You've kept it very well. Thank you." I saw warmth cross his face and his cheeks blushed slightly from pride.

"So what are you doing here?" Boom asked. "Not that I don't want you here! Just... It's a little early isn't it?"

"I was looking for Commander Cruger," I explained.

"Oh, right, of course," Boom seemed to understand but I sensed bitterness in his voice. "I think he's in his quarters."

"Thank you," I begun to make my way there. "By the way, Boom," I called over my shoulders. "You must take some time off at some point, come meet my daughters."

"Daughters..." I heard him murmur the word, as if he still couldn't quite believe it. Louder he added: "Yes ma'am, I will."

I made my way down the corridor to the commanders quaters. I knocked twice, only to receive no response. I knocked again. Nothing. I opened the door quietly and crept in. I looked around and soon spotted him, standing on his balcony, looking out over newtech city. I walked up to him and joined him, watching the cars below. It was sundown and people were just beginning to turn on lights and draw their curtains. For a few minutes silence between us was enjoyed.

"I can't do this Kat," Doggie growled, after a moment, cutting into the quiet. "I can't raise two such small children without their mother. I don't know how. I'm a man, the parenting instinct is..." he clenched his fist over his heart. "It's not there. I tried to make it appear magically but it's not there. I have no fatherly instinct in me."

"I'm sure that's not true, Doggie." I murmured. Even though I was as doubtful as he was, It was my job, as both his friend and close co-worker, to be supportive right now.

"It is true," Doggie lamented. "I don't know what I'm doing with these pups. I want to pick them up but I dont know how. I'm scared I'll hurt them. I want to talk to them but I feel stupid. I want to feed them, change their diapers but I don't know how."

For a few moments there was silence. What could I say? There were no words that could heal this pain, I knew.

"And when they get older. I don't know how to comfort them when they have nightmares, or how to play with them. I never had children on Sirius, none of my family really did." Doggies mournful growls were turning into howls of grief now.

"Doggie-" I tried to calm him.

"It's not that I don't want to... If I knew how, I'd give them every privilege under the sun, I'd raise them perfectly. But I don't. And I can't. And I have a job to hold together." Cruger continued. "Our plans were for Isinia to do all of that baby stuff. She was good at it!"

I shook my head.
"Well then." I straightened up. "I guess I will just have to teach you how to be a father, won't I?"

"What?" Cruger growled, obviously not expecting my offer. I paused for a millisecond to think; this would mean extra work for me of course but I couldn't let Doggie give up on his two pups.

"I can teach you how to hold them, how to feed them and change them and look after them." I stated. "I can't teach you to love them. But I'm sure that will come with time. And when you feel comfortable going it alone, you can." I sighed. I was doing it again. Bending over backwards to see him happy. "No matter how long it takes."

"Would you really do that?" Cruger asked, sounding amazed.

I sighed. "Doggie, you're my best friend. I don't want to see you suffering like this. I want you to know and love your pups. I..." I broke off, knowing my point was made and not wanting to exaggerate it.

"Thank you..." Cruger clearly was at a loss for words. "How can I ever repay you?"

"Don't." I insisted. "There's no need for that."

He let out a long sigh, and studied me carefully. "Thank you, Kat."