Douglas Rattmann was never a angry person.
It's just the fact that a lanky scrawny blonde man with electronic blue eyes and a Bristol accent was tugging on his beard and causing him to freak out a little bit. Chell rubbed her temples and shifted the weight from the companion cube and the telescope in the bag to her hip as she waited for her roommate to catch up with her. It was hard to tell who was carrying the heavier load.

Thrown out into the cold hard snow, Wheatley wasn't sure what had happened. One moment he was boredly orbiting the moon for the... billionth time, the next he was hurtling through space towards earth. He must have crash landed, the giant crater being a dead give away, but where did the people arms come from? And why was it so bloody cold? He lay on the snow in a standard issue orange aperture jumpsuit, only he wasn't really aware of the laying part, or the clothes, or the fact he was all fleshy and not a metal ball. He blinked, unsure of what was going to happen. He looked around without moving his head, shivering uncontrollably. He brought his new hands up for him to examine closely, the tips of his fingers were dark pink and shaking rapidly. Wheatley grinned, hands could do SO many things, now if only he could move...

Douglas Rattmann was never easily amused, neither was Chell, but seeing a nearly frozen grown man wiggle on the ground like a retarded worm doing donuts in a crater was rather humorous, until the fact that he was nearly frozen sunk in their heads. Chell quickly went to his side, Doug followed and tripped into the crater landing on his back close by. Wheatley stared wide eyed at the girl wrapping her scarf around his neck, he wanted to say something he wanted to say for a long time, something he had alot of time to think about saying. She began removing her thick red jacket and draped it over him. Wheatley's lips trembled, his eyes becoming pools of tears. He wiped them with his human hand and felt his stiffened freezing flesh for the first time. "Lady." Chell looked down surprised by the snivel coming out of the half frozen form beside her. Wheatley touched the jacket and covered his face and unleashed tears. "Im sorry lady. I am truly, deeply, sorry." He smiled having finely getting the words out. Chell was taken aback. Who was this man, and why was he apologizing?

Doug climbed his way out of the deep black crater and fell on his stomach beside Chell and the humanoid Wheatley. Chell stood and attempted to pull Doug to his feet, she slipped on slush as she pulled and fell back on her ass. A silent laugh escaped her lips as Doug doubled over laughing at her expense.
Something erupted in Wheatley, some new sort of function they must have never told him about, his breathing came out in awkwardly loud gasps emitting an odd frequency that made the other two stare at him with strange expressions. Doug lifted himself up with his arms and pulled Chell up, making sure he was lifting with his legs as not to fall. He looked over the man shaking under the oversized jacket. He shrugged slightly as Chell nudged him and gestured to the man as if saying we can't just leave him here, Doug sighed, "We can't just leave him here. I guess we will have to-" he stopped mid sentence as he noticed Chell had already taken a few steps back and gave him that look that she always gave him when ever he was doing something stupid.
He sighed as she began walking back to town, leaving the robot ball turned man to him.
Wheatley removed the jacket from his face as Doug picked him up bridal style.

"Oh, we're moving, brilliant! It was bloody cold down there and I couldn't figure out how to do much, but look at you! Your a pro! Ah, uh. Where are we going?" Doug looked down at the man spewing noise, though his voice had some pleasant quality that he couldn't place, his electronic blue eyes were wide and expectant and a whole hearted toothy grin showed he had a bit of a chipped tooth. Doug looked forward to Chell who only shook her head and shrugged. Doug sighed and smiled awkwardly back at the tiny man in his arms, "home."

Wheatley blinked and looked at his reflection in the cracked mirror in the bathroom of the shitty apartment. He touched his square jaw, his chapped lips, his straight red nose, his eyes (which really hurt) his thin black eye brows and his hair the color of wet straw. Chell was heating water on the stove in a big pot for something called a bath that was supposed to get rid of the sickening smell radiating off of him. He ran his hands through his wet greasy mop and chuckled. Doug stared at him awkwardly from the couch as he explored his face and clothes. Attempting to remove the orange shirt, he got the buttons caught in his hair and yelped, "...you...you need help?" Doug asked hesitantly as he yelped again, "no no! I got it! I got it-OW! Yes! Please help! now!"
Chell sighed in her throat from the kitchen as Doug stepped over the coffee table and into the bathroom. He untangled the buttons from Wheatley's dirty hair and watched as he removed the sweaty aperture tank top and threw it at Doug, his mouth fell agape as he stared down at his ribs and chest covered by a thin blanket of pale skin. Doug stared at him with wide eyes, surely THAT was unhealthy.
He put his palms to his cheeks and grinned before touching his protruding ribs "Oh man alive! Look at these!" Chell peaked into the bathroom and made a face as Wheatley pointed out his rib cage while facing Doug, who seemed equally disgusted, a blue light illuminated off of a machine that clung to his back. Chell, armed with oven mitts and a pot of boiling water, shoved the man aside with her butt and poured the last of the water in the bath, she put the pot besides the bath and touched Doug's shoulder, he looked up and received a mouthed good luck, they both knew he needed it.

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AN: I don't own portal.
But I do own a copy of both games.
Next chapter involves sexy times. And soap.