Sorry no cake this chapter. Just something I wanted to get out to let you broskis know I am not dead.
Best viewed on 1/2 format.
YOU KNOW WHAT I HAVE TO SAY ABOUT YOU LURKERS?
You're BUTTS.
Thanks to the person that left a VERY kind review.
The more reviews I get the more compelled I'd be to posting the next chapter.
The city they lived in wasn't much of a city.
It was a city in the fact that there are people and buildings as well as parks and recreational outlets, if you could call them that. There wasn't much to it other then that. The combine had fled, a silent, four eyed, crowbar wielding hero and his apparently useless female friend had driven them off not too many years ago and statues had, of course, been erected and displayed everywhere people cared to be. These people of course were not the friendliest. Years of the combiner's abuse had hardened them, making them weary of out of towners and the like. Most of them were quiet and kept to themselves, however this wasn't the case sadly for the residents of the Lambda Complex.
First there is the landlady, a terrible gossip, with a terrible attraction to Doug, and a terrible addiction to finding and keeping stray cats. When Chell had first been brought in by a very good, very popular friend, who also pays the dirt cheap rent, the landlady had interrogated her harshly, questioning her friendship with the green eyed man that brought her in, her lack of belongings, and most of all her carting of a cube covered with a sheet. She thought Chell was rude due to the blank stare she received, until of course, Gordan made it clear she wasn't going to get answers anytime soon, her vocal cords were fried from years of neglect, much like his own.
Gordy was the hero that saved the world/universe basically, along with his wife Alyx, his brother John, and John's son Henry.
He was also the one that caused the aliens and monsters to attack in the first place but that was a story for another time.
On the second floor there was the terrible old Sarah, the combine had killed her husband for littering and she has had a hatred for soda cans ever since. One night during one of Doug's bad screaming spells she hit the ceiling with the end of the broom so hard a chunk of plaster came right out and hit her. She's hated both Doug and Chell since.
Across from them is Mister Williams, a lean and attractive but mostly alcoholic young man who's brought so many women through the door Chell lost count at around thirty. She often caught him gossiping with the landlady, probably about her and Doug's scrabble nights, those always got heated.
He owned a small used guitar store in the city close to where Chell worked at in the library.
Chell didn't mind the neighbors as much as Doug did, he thought that if they all didn't ask so many questions, and gossip, and touch, and yell, and leave their stoves on as much they wouldn't be that bad.
Little did he know Wheatley was just going to add the icing on the metaphorical cake. Whatever that means.
So there they sat, Doug and Wheatley that is, on the worn green futon couch watching a cartoon about a talking yellow sponge and eating cereal without milk. Wheatley was a little more captivated by the cereal then the show, how they packed so much glucose in a meal supposed to be nutritionally good for you even he didn't know. Doug nibbled on the rainbow colors bits and studied the man carefully as he drank his orange juice while picking out all the yellow pieces of his cereal.
Giving Wheatley a cup without a lid proved to be a horrible idea however. The orange liquid spilled everywhere, but mostly it pooled in Wheatley's pajama pants. "Don't. move." Wheatley didn't move, but Doug sprung up and dropped his bowl on the coffee table to see the damage and get a towel. Wheatley made a whining noise as Doug brought paper towels from the kitchen, Wheatley carefully took them without moving his waist and rubbed his lap down with the napkins awkwardly.
Oh today was going to be fun.
Wheatley was bundled in a gray russian hat and various coats and jackets and shirts and socks and gloves that were much too small for someone of his stature and wore a turtle neck sweater and high water jeans under it all. Doug took a lighter approach to the sunny windy day outside and wore a simple white jacket over a long sleeved black shirt and black boots. Wheatley leaned against the door of the bed room as Doug laced up his boots that ended at the middle of his shins. He didn't really want to leave Wheatley home alone but he didn't want to take him clothes shopping either. Wheatley pushed on the door repeatedly, expecting it to open.
"The door is jammed, I'll have to hack it." He said while shaking the clothes off the coat stand. Doug protested and jumped in between Wheatley and the door. "No! No! You just turn the knob!" He opened the door and ran himself into the corner and toppled over onto the chair before Wheatley could get a swing in. "You humans are so primeval." Wheatley muttered as the put the stand down.
Just that morning Wheatley had 'hacked' the remote.
Chell was going to be angry about that, much less if Wheatley 'hacked' the door.
Wheatley stepped out of the flat/apartment and waited for Doug as he turned off the lights and grabbed his shoulder bag and locked the door. Just as they began walking down the stairs a whirlwind seemed to have blasted through the hallway and down the stairs and out the door. , the man that lived across from them stumbled out from his door with no pants and was loosely holding a large clear glass bottle containing a copper liquid and yelled down the stairs,
"I didi't want youwr gonorrhea anyways yah whore!" Doug readjusted his wind blown hair and continued down the stairs as if nothing happened, Wheatley however was caught by the end of his scarf.
"O're you? Nehw tenant? I didn't hear about you from-"
"he's a friend from... er out of town." Doug interrupted. Williams took a long hard swig from his now empty bottle and released the terrified Wheatley.
"Aye wasn't awsking YOU. Ratbowy." He hicked "whaz youwr name guy?" Doug shifted his weight from one foot to the other and tapped his index fingers together.
"W-Wheatley..." he thought do a minute and something clicked, "Pendleton." Something intense shocked Wheatley and he twitched sharply making himself do a faceplant, Williams blinked and Doug pulled Wheatley up and dragged him down the stairs. "Nice meeting you!" He called up as he was being led off.
"What happened back there?" Doug asked as they went down the street past the park and towards the downtown area. Wheatley waddled beside Doug awkwardly, he was keeping warm but it was hard to move he figured. Even people that passed by stared at him and pointed and laughed.
"I don't really know. Something snapped. I feel like my back split in two and my heart stopped." Doug nodded knowingly, "so she is beginning to test out the humanity software..." Wheatley looked down at his much smaller companion. "You say something mate?" Doug stopped and shook his head before letting out a low laugh. He smiled slightly up at the man and put a thin bony hand on Wheatley's lanky shoulder.
"It's nothing Wheatley. You just remind me of someone sometimes is all."
Wheatley leaned his head to the side and thought, but something caught his eye as they neared a small burger stand on a corner. He swallowed the giant lump in his throat as Doug weaved his way through the crowd waiting for their food on the corner. Wheatley stared at the street, near the curb where Doug was waiting by the crossing sign a giant gathering of pigeons was waiting for him.
Waiting. Watching. Pecking. COOING. PLOTTING.
Wheatley tried to maneuver around the birds but bumped into a large man with a sunburn and sunglasses. A man who just so happened to be carrying a bucket of fries.
The fries fell in almost slow motion, Doug, Wheatley, the man, and the birds watched as they all fell, the fried potatoes landed in Wheatley's hair, his feet and in the many folds of his jackets.
It creating a feeding frenzy among the starving wobbling creatures.
Wheatley screamed and ran as fast as he could down the street swatting his arms trying to knock the savages away as the birds began to rush towards him.
Doug looked from the man, to the street, to where Wheatley USED to be, to where Wheatley was headed. He gulped.
Chell is going to kill me.
AN: I do not own Portal
But I do own a copy of both games.
Next Chapter: We see a little more of the city, get a little Doug drama and DEFIANTLY get cake. maybe...