"One, two, three...Breathe!" Rachel whispered to herself as she swirled around the perfectly silver razor in her hand. The girl had a nasty habit of cutting herself when things got to be a little bit too much, and right now things were totally too much for her, the razor was staring at her, begging her to use it, and so she did.
The coldness of the metal and the blood dripping down her hip was the only thing that could truly calm her and it felt so good. The cuts were only ever placed on her hips, with dance her whole body was usually exposed, except of course the hips where she would occasionally let her frustrations out. She hadn't cut herself in nearly two months but now it felt better than it ever had before.
After doing about ten cuts the small brunette started to feel lightheaded and quickly grabbed the counter of her bathroom in support, not wanting to faint dead away. Looking in the mirror Rachel finally saw what everyone else must see in her a weak and innocent girl that would never actually be anything. These thoughts made her want to slice her perfect skin again and so she did.
"Mom I cannot believe him!" Brittany cried as tears streamed down her face and she gripped her cross necklace in her hands tightly. "Why would Mike ever say anything like that!"
Shelby shook her head and pulled both of her girls into a tight hug, knowing that they were upset beyond words. "San, Britt I don't know why Mike would've said those things to Rachel but we don't know what it's like to feel like you're losing everything. I am not saying that what Mike did was okay, but I also know that in the right state of mind he would never hurt our girl."
Santana slid closer to her mother and squeezed her hand like she had done so many times when she was scared. "What will Rachel do? She was getting better and now I think she's worse than she's ever been." The young mother cried and threw her hands over her face as sobs racked her small frame. "I worry about her all the time!"
"So do I San!" Brittany sobbed and moved to pull her sister into a tight hug as Shelby wrapped her arms around both her girls.
"Sam are you okay?" Ella asked handing a coffee cup to her silent and unmoving husband and taking a seat next to him. The poor young woman was terrified her husband was going to have a heart attack.
Sam looked at his wife as tears streamed from his gorgeous blue eyes and he huskily whispered. "I can't ever lose you or this Baby El. If I ever lost you I don't..."
"Hey stop right there!" The young woman ordered harshly, "You are not going to lose me or this baby."
Sam smiled softly and leaned over to press a soft kiss to his wife's lips. "I am so worried about my sister. I know they agreed that Kurt should be with her, but I want to see her so badly."
"Rach, Rach are you here?" Kurt screamed frantically as he looked up and down the park the two had constantly went to when problems had risen. The young man had already looked at three places and had no idea where to go from here, hopefully the young girl was at the Schuester home.
"Rachel!" Kurt screamed imediatly as he flung open the heavy wood door. "Princess are you here?" he asked frantically.
"In my room." Rachel answered softly as she placed the last bandage on her hip and pulled on her black sweatpants. "I'll be done in a minute." She hollered as she shut the door behind her, leaving her bloodied shirt and razor in the trash, covered with an old magazine.
Kurt quickly pulled his little sister into his arms and pulled her off of the bottom step. "Oh baby doll," he cooed as he placed her on the couch and sat next to her. "sweetie pie I am so so sorry!"
Rachel sighed jumping up from her place and turning towards the coat rack. Grabbing her black northface and pulling her car keys from the pocket the young diva turned towards her brother. "I have to go now." Was all she uttered before she left the house leaving her distraught brother behind.
Kurt looked shocked and quickly went into the kitchen and grab a beer to settle his nerves a bit.
"How could you do that to her Mike?" Tina asked as tears flowed down her pale face. The new mother could hardly believe her ears when she woke up and found out what her husband had done to the little girl she had fallen in love with so long ago. "I cannot believe you right now Mike." She cried as she quickly wiped her tears and took a deep breath as she desperately tried to calm herself.
Mike looked down at his wife and quickly grabbed her hand. "I am so sorry, you have no idea how much I hate myself right now." Taking a calming breath and squeezing the small hand beneath his own Mike began to speak and cry. "I just...I don't know what happened. I love you though baby and our little girl."
Tina smiled softly and ran a tentative hand through her husbands black locks. "Our baby girl is going to be perfect Mike, what isn't is you and Rachel you need to go talk to her right now."
Mike nodded and place a kiss on the beautiful woman's cheek. "I think my mom wants to see you. I'll be back in an hour."
"Kurt where's Rach?" Sam asked looking at his little brother's sad face and not seeing his little sister anywhere. "Is she here."
"She was." Was all the young man said before taking a swig of beer. "Ugh I hate beer."
Sam was alarmed now Kurt rarely drank, only when he was very upset or stressed. "Buddy why are you drinking?" He asked gently as he took a seat on the coffee table to see his brother's face properly.
"She left. Rachel hates us, she hates all of us and I wouldn't be surprised if she never called any of us again."
Sam sighed heavily as he pulled the mostly emptied bottle away from his brother and grabbed two more empty ones that were near him on the sofa. "Kurt, why don't you go on up to bed everybody should be home soon."
"Okay," Kurt managed as he stood up and swayed slightly before remaining his balance. "I'll see you in the morning Sammy."
Sam sighed heavily as he waited for his family to arrive, especially his little sister.
"Sam where's Rach?" Mike asked as he walked through the door, his tired eyes jumping out to his brother.
Sam shook his head as he took a gulp of the leftover beer. "Rachel is not here and you shouldn't be her either dude."
"I never meant to hurt her Sam, you have to believe me." Mike pleaded his dark eyes filled with worry for his little sister.
"I know you wouldn't normally hurt her but you did and I can't forgive you for that."
"Rach?" Jesse questioned as he looked at his best friend standing on his doorstep, hugging herself from the cold and crying softly. "Come in." he ordered pulling her into his home and gently leading her to the large sofa. "Rachel what's wrong you're scaring me?" He asked quietly ,rubbing up and down his best friend's arms as he tried to soothe her.
Rachel explained the entire story as she cried and worked her hardest to try and understand why Mike said what he had.
"I'm going to kill him." Jesse muttered kissing the side of Rachel's head and resting his chin atop her head. "I love you Rach, you know that don't you?"
"Thank you for being here Jess." She told him pulling out of his arms slightly" Are your parents here?"
"No they went to a bed and breakfast like they do every year."
Rachel grabbed the boy's hand and pulled him to his feet. "Will you come over and spend the night Jess. I don't want to be alone and I also don't want to have to deal with my family."
"Let's go baby girl but just remember how much they love you." Jesse spoke softly as he pulled his jacket on and wrapped an arm around the small shoulders.
"Finn why don't you go put Eve and Mark to bed." Will suggested as he looked at the two sleeping children strewed across their father's lap. "You should all get some sleep too. I think Rachel just wants to be alone for right now."
"Daddy that's a horrible idea." Brittany spoke tiredly as she sat atop Artie's lap. "Rachel needs to know that we all care about her and don't believe what Mike said to her."
"I agree." Puck said shortly as he flexed his fists,just waiting for Mike to step into the house. Mike was his best friend and he knew the stress his brother had been under, but to hurt their already damaged sister it was just unforgivable.
Santana sighed as she rocked her little boy. "I need to go to bed." She stated tiredly as Riley wrapped a muscled arm around her waist. "I'm so tired and I can't handle this right now."
"Yeah I think we'll go up too." Finn motioned to the sleeping children and quickly pulled them up and into his arms. "I'll see you guys in the morning."
As all of the children went to bed the only ones left were Sam and his father and they both looked extremely exhausted and tired.
Rachel walked in about a half an hour later with Jesse in tow. "Hi Daddy, hey Sammy."
"Baby girl are you alright?" Will asked as he grabbed his little girl into a tight hug. "Do you want to talk to us?"
Rachel shook her head tiredly as she hugged her favorite oldest brother. "I'm realy exhausted is it alright if Jesse spends the night with me?"
"That's fine princess." Will told her as he hugged Jesse and whispered a quick thanks into the young man's ear. "You two head on up and we'll talk in the morning."
"Rach just relax." Jesse murmured as he heard his best friend sniffle and felt the tears roll down his neck. "I know you're so upset but you need to relax."
"I can't sleep Jess," She cried as she clung tighter to Jesse arm. "Jess why would he say those things to me if they weren't true?"
Jesse sat up quickly pulling Rachel to lean against his side as he stroked her hair gently. "He didn't mean what he said Rach, you know that." He told her as he continued to soothe. "Mike loves you Rach more than anything, but that doesn't mean he can't make mistakes. I love you Rach so go to sleep and I swae everything will be better in the morning."
"I love you too Jess." Rachel replied before she snuggled deeper into Jesse's arms and willed her mind to shut its self off.