You continue to astound me with your kind words. Thank you.

Location: Forks, Washington

Prompt: Beach

The morning after Renee was relocated to the Cullen Hospice, Bella decided to go and visit her. Charlie had to head into work, and though they had been gracious with the additional hours he was having away from the station, there was always work for the police chief to do.

As Bella parked her mother's old Toyota in the parking lot, she sat behind the wheel of the car and felt like a lead weight was keeping her in place. Though she needed to go inside and finally determine whether she was going to make amends with her mother or not, Bella couldn't move. She was scared of seeing her mother in her deteriorating state.

After Edward left her bedroom the night before, Bella broke down and cried, horrible sobbing tears until she had none left to shed. Edward had been nothing but honest with his feelings and Bella had lied to his face about wanting to stay with him. If Forks hadn't held such painful memories for her, Bella probably would have stayed for him. She also knew that both Edward and Charlie had been right; Bella wouldn't be able to live with herself if she didn't at least attempt to reconcile with her mother.

Just as Bella was about to step from the car, there was a soft knock on her window, and there stood a lovely looking brunette in pink scrubs. "Are you alright?" she questioned politely. Bella climbed from the car and locked it behind her, as she reassured the nurse that she was fine.

"I'm fine, I'm just trying to get up the nerve to go in."

"I've never seen you here before, so I'm gonna guess that you might be related to Renee Swan."

"You're pretty good," Bella stated with a soft smile as the woman led the way inside the hospice and brought her to the main desk.

"Well, when your name is on the building, you tend to know what is going on here." Bella's mouth fell open as she realized that she was speaking to Edward's mother. Her mind began moving a mile a minute as she wondered what, if anything, he had told his mother about her. "You're going to need to sign in here with Afton, and then if you want, I can show you to her room. I'm Esme, by the way. Esme Cullen."

"It's nice to meet you Esme, I'm Bella Swan." The women shook hands and Esme waited patiently as Bella signed the guest log. If Edward had told his mother anything about their recent dalliance, she was being very sweet in not mentioning it.

As they walked side by side down the bright and cheerful hallway, Bella felt her steps slow as they neared Renee's room. "I know you are probably nervous about seeing your mother, but I can assure you, we are doing everything we can to make her last days as restful and painless as they can be. Your father informed us that your mother used to live in Florida and loved the beach, so we decorated her room a bit to make her more comfortable.

Esme pushed open the door to Renee's room and Bella was surprised to see the fake palm trees that decorated the corner of the room. There was also a lantern hanging that looked like the sun and the shade on her window was painted with an ocean scene. It was homey and Bella had to admit, the gesture was one that Renee would have appreciated, if she were coherent enough to understand.

"Renee has had a good morning here, so far. She was given her morning dosages about two hours ago and she went back to sleep. She was coherent earlier though, so that was good." Bella nodded softly as Esme continued to explain to her what they were doing to make Renee's final days comfortable. "We offer music therapy for the patients, so if you think it would be of benefit to your mother, we can play music through the sound system in her room."

"She always loved the Beach Boys," Bella stated as Esme patted Bella's shoulder in support.

"I'll see what we can do," Esme commented gently before she began to head out the door. "Oh, and Bella, we're not just here for your mother. We're here for you too. We offer a bereavement support program, so if you need someone, you know where to look."

"Thank you, Esme." Bella sat down in the chair beside Renee's beside as she heard the door close softly behind her. Bella struggled to hold herself together as she bent her head towards the floor, unable to look her mother in the eye.

"You always had to be dramatic, didn't you, Mom?" Bella said softly as she tentatively reached her hand out to grip her mother's gently within hers. "You could never accept things for how they were so when you were told you were sick, you didn't get help. No, had to go and let the cancer ravage your body as you went out and enjoyed your last days until you showed up on Dad's doorstep, too sick for him to turn you away. It was like you had one final moment of complete selfishness."

Bella let out a huge sigh as she heard the opening strains of 'In My Room' by the Beach Boys began to fill the room. It was a rather fitting song, Bella thought briefly before she continued to talk to her sleeping mother.

"And you have had hundreds of selfish moments, haven't you, Mom? I really thought you leaving Dad and me after I got hurt and wasn't able to dance was the highest form of selfish, but you surprised me yet again. Renee Swan couldn't become a prima ballerina since she got knocked up, and now her daughter wouldn't be one either.

"Did you know the only thing I wanted was for you to be proud of me, mom?"

Bella couldn't stop the tears from coming and she tried to push them away with the back of her hand, but it was al for naught. They tears couldn't stop.

"Dad and Edward…" Bella paused, unsure of what to say about the man who had captured her heart, but she was too broken to give it to him. "Edward is the best man I have ever met, other than Dad, of course. You probably would have tried to sleep with him if you had met him, but he would have shut you down. He seems to really like me, but I can't fathom why. I've been nothing but selfish…" Bella froze as she realized that the way she had been treating Edward was exactly what her mother would have done. Bella strived for so long to never be like Renee, but in truth, she was a lot more like her mother than she cared to admit.

"Dad and Edward think I should forgive you of your past sins. That if I don't, it will follow me forever as something I regret not doing, and I think they might be right. So, I forgive you. I forgive you for being so selfish and running away when I needed you the most. I forgive you for taking advantage of Dad's inability to say no to you, and I forgive you for never apologizing to me for leaving. Regardless of everything, I never would have wished this on you."

Just as Bella was about to stand up and leave, unable to stomach being in the room any longer she felt her hand being gripped and looked up to see Renee's shallow eyes watching her. Renee opened her mouth to speak and though Bella attempted to stop her, since she knew her voice would be sore and hoarse, Renee forced out the words Bella longed to hear.

"I'm sorry."