Beat but I'm not broken
Guide me through with your hand,
Lead with your words spoken
Show me how to listen

Red Jumpsuit Apparatus – Misery Loves it's Company

Day One: Part 2

'Way to go newbie,'

'Owen,' Winter warned from the bar above the medical bay doorway.

'That is what I call a methodical investigation.'

'Owen!' she repeated a little louder.

'I can't wait until I see you take down her particulars.'

'OWEN!'

It was in vain though. Gwen snapped and threw herself at him, pinning him to the wall. 'What are you doing? Get off.'

Winter shook her head and let Gwen vent for a moment.

'That girl's body has been overrun by, I don't know what, and you think it's a joke.'

'Alright, Jesus I'm sorry.'

'We should be helping her, she's not some lab rat.'

'No, she's a murderer and you were the one who wanted her caught, and here she's you best friend.'

Winter could see this getting ugly and the blood was starting to go to her head, so she took the bar in a hand and swung off, landing on the floor neatly and dusting her hands off as she approached them but Jack got there first with a witty line and a serious face.

'you know strictly speaking throttling the staff is my job.'

Gwen held for a moment and then let go, violently, as Jack gave Winter a 'you should have stopped that earlier' look.

'So, who's for Chinese?' Ianto interrupted.

Winter bounced over and grabbed a few bags from the tray to ease the load and followed him up to the board room where the tension was soon eased by Jack's amazing story telling skills.

Winter sat between Ianto and Gwen as the story continued and she felt her relax beside her. It was only when Jack left that the conversation turned back to personal matters.

'So, what's he told you?' Owen asked Gwen.

'What about?'

'Himself.' Tosh replied as though it was obvious.

'You've been here longer than I have.'

'We were banking on you.'

Tosh looked crestfallen.

'You're a copper; you're trained to ask questions,' Owen reasoned as he gestured towards Winter, 'and that one won't tell us anything.'

'You don't know anything?'

'Not who he is, not where he's from nothing.' He gestured to Winter. 'Except him being Gay.'

Winter looked challengingly at him, 'I never said that!'

'He sleeps with you every night and yet he never 'sleeps' with you. He has to be gay.'

Winter blushed at the hidden compliment and took a swig from the beer in front of her. Gwen still didn't believe it.

'No he's not! Really? Do you think?'

Owen nodded but Tosh interrupted, 'Owen does, I don't.'

'And I don't care.' Ianto added.

'Period military is not the dress code of a straight man.' Owen argued.

Winter shook her head in disagreement, 'I think it suits him.' She replied, 'Sort of classic, brash, with a hint of 'who cares I make this look good."

Gwen and Tosh nodded, 'Exactly,' Tosh leant over, 'I've watched him in action, he'll shag anything if it's gorgeous enough.'

Winter's face fell. She knew this was true, they'd joked about it on numerous occasions, but hearing it like this made her feel like an idiot.

When Jack kissed back she'd wondered if there had been something behind it. Some feelings that he'd acted on, like the ones she was doing a less than good job of ignoring. The thought of him kissing her just because she looked good made her feel like nothing. Like he didn't care about her feelings at all.

Picking at her chow mein with chopsticks she reasoned that she knew this wasn't true and she knew it but the thought still grated on her mind. What about that other point Owen made? Sure Owen was a prat sometimes but what if he was also right (as, occasionally, was the case) Jack slept with her every night, and yet he never… maybe that was just the problem. Maybe he didn't think she was attractive at all. Maybe he only kept her company at night because he felt sorry for her. She couldn't have that, she couldn't stay in his room if that's what he thought. Or could she? Did she want him to make a move? Would that be weird?

Her brain spun with confusion and she blocked out the conversation that had moved on to the best spots for take away meals in the bay area. In fact she was so engrossed in her own tail spin that she didn't even notice that the others had stopped talking until Jack walked in.

Gwen got up from her seat and was approaching the monitor showing Carys crying in the cell. 'What are we doing having Chinese while a girl fights for her life.'

'We're having dinner' Winter replied, 'That's the job. You fix the world at the expense of you own life. The least we can ask for is dinner.'

She could feel Jack's eyes on her but she ignored them and stood, watching the girl on the monitor for a moment then turning to leave. He watched her back as it disappeared around the corner but was brought out of his thoughts by Gwen a minute or so later.

'You've forgotten what it means to be human.'

He looked over at her, 'So remind us. Show us what it means to be human in the twenty-first century.'

'Someone's got it right.'

Jack glanced back over to Ianto who was looking past Gwen to the screen. Winter stood at the door to the cell, her head pressed against it as if deliberating. Suddenly she pressed the button on the side of the cell and the door slid open.

'What is she doing?' Jack asked in shock, rising from his chair but Tosh grabbed his arm.

'Wait.'

Winter sat down in front of Carys and spoke quietly.

'Hi,' Carys flinched and buried her head in her hands, 'I'm Winter.'

At this Carys looked up, she stared for a moment and then spoke quietly, 'Carys.'

'I know,' realising this was probably the wrong thing to say Winter back-peddled, 'sorry, I mean, it's nice to meet you.'

'What do you want?'

'You want the truth?'

'Yeah'

'I want life to be a bit simpler. Easier maybe.'

Carys snorted and wiped her face, 'Why what's wrong with yours.'

'I make rubbish decisions and literally live at work. Don't get me wrong, it's not half as bad as what you're dealing with but, I think I have some idea of how you feel.'

Jack watched from the boardroom, stunned. Had she done this before? He'd watched her with prisoners before but always when he was by her side and normally she was fighting or translating with whatever tech or guidebook she could find.

This was sympathising and finding common ground. She wasn't that good at it but, she had Carys talking, that was something.

'Really? And what is it that I'm feeling then?'

'Scared, lost, like you don't even know who you are any more. You're worried about what will happen to you and about keeping all of this a secret from your family and friends.'

Carys sniffed and looked down at the ground.

'I don't want to hurt them. I don't want to be near them but it wants me to be. I look around and everything blurs. I'm light headed and tired. All I want to do is sleep, but It won't let me. It needs more, constantly. I can't do this,' she sobbed, 'I can't do this, I don't want to. I just want to leave and never come back. But I haven't got anywhere to go. And I don't want to leave my dad, I can't leave him. What do I do?'

Winter gingerly took Carys' hand.

'I think, maybe, you need to stick it out a little longer,' she said, taking a deep breath, 'I mean, you've come this far and you have help now. It probably doesn't look like it to you, with the dark cell and everything, but that's what we're trying to do.'

Carys watched her through watery eyes and eventually nodded, pushing her hair back behind her ears and rubbing her hand over her running nose.

Winter got up and left the cell, weaving her way back up to the main hub she met Gwen by her desk and crossed her arms over her chest defensively. 'I'm helping.'

Gwen looked up, shocked but she nodded and handed her a pile of papers to go through. They worked quietly, printing sheet after sheet and somewhere during the time they worked, Pip came in and curled up on the printer.

'He really is gorgeous.' Gwen mentioned causing both the monkey and Winter to look up at him.

She smiled and nodded, scratching the top of his head, 'Yeah. Here, give him this.'

Winter rolled over to the filing cabinet and pulled a plastic box from the draw. Pip immediately perked up and looked hungrily at the box. She stood and handed Gwen the box. The lid came off with a slight popping sound and Gwen squeaked when she saw it was filled with dead tarantulas.

Winter shrugged, 'It's his favourite right now.'

She took the box back and plucked out a spider handing it to Gwen and pushing her gently to her knees. Gwen hesitantly held out her hand and Pip carefully bounded to the floor a few meters from her. Slowly, he crawled forward on all fours until he was less than three feet away. Gwen smiled encouragingly and he reached out and snatched the spider from her, stuffing it in his mouth and escaping across the room.

Gwen looked to Winter who smiled and said, 'Stay there.'

She dug into her pocket and threw her a polo. This time Pip came over much quicker and when he snatched the polo from her hands he stayed put in front of her. Gwen kept her hand extended and he took the chance to scamper up her arm and onto her shoulders where he sat, his tail curled around her neck for balance.

'Looks like you're working hard.'

Jack grinned at them from the door. Winter paused mid laugh but Gwen stood, with Pip still on her shoulder, a little unbalanced. She carefully approached the board of Carys' life that they had been piecing together.

'Carys Fletcher born 13th of November 1987. School reports, personnel files from her temping agency, swimming badges from when she was six, reports of her mother's death in a car accident when she was ten. And last year's e-mails discussing the relative merits of Orlando Bloom and Heath Ledger.'

'Why have you done this?'

Winter stood up and cautiously moved towards them and removed Pip from Gwen's shoulders to give her a break, 'Because this isn't about meteorites and gases.'

Jack looked down at her, surprised at her sudden change of heart towards the case, 'It's about this girl and how her life is slowly slipping away from her while all she can do is stand and watch.'

She turned and, without grabbing her coat, left the room and the hub behind to take a walk in the fresh air. Gwen watched her leave and then turned back to Jack.

'When I was with her in the cell, Carys told me she was losing, we have to find a way to keep her fighting, remind her to hold on to who she is.'

Jack just stared at her as if perplexed.

'Have I got something on my face?' suddenly he came to life.

'No! Just… it's… Brilliant! You are brilliant. With the case, and Nemo, even the monkey thinks so.'

'What do you mean with Nemo, I mean, Winter…?'

'I've never seen her act this way. She's so… human. Before you she only acted like that in private, when no one could see she had a heart. Now… she's like a different person.'

'But she's upset?'

'She's probably shocked, trying to get used to this new side of herself, but still you, Gwen Cooper, are fantastic.'

'Thank you,' she replied looking away, 'so I think we should bring in her dad.'

'You're kidding right?'

'We've got to find something to connect with her, make her fight back.'

'Our priority is to contain the alien threat not put civilians in a cell with it.'

'Think about how she reacted with Winter earlier, we should be helping her.'

'Gwen there is no way…'

'If we don't, who will Jack?'

'Are you always this awkward?'

Something buzzed on Jack's desk and Tosh's voice echoed through the room.

'You should take a look at this.'

TTT

Winter sat on the floor outside the visitors centre. Pip had chosen to stay in the warm inside with Ianto and although the cold bit into her skin, she couldn't help but enjoy it. It had been so long since she'd felt uncomfortable. Since she'd been cold or soaked through with no chance of changing.

Speaking to Carys, listening to her and Gwen and, to be honest, this whole case, all of it was bringing back memories of the family she'd left behind to come here. She'd walked through the door always so sure she would use he luck to help the others but she'd skip one day, then another, soon a month passed and she hadn't been home. Eventually home wasn't with her old friends any more, it was the Hub.

If she was being completely honest with herself, there was a part of her that was so glad to leave them all behind. To start a whole new life, an important life where she could be a recognised member of society and not some kid people avoided or locked in back rooms of shops she'd tried to lift from.

The more time passed the more ashamed she was and now here she was sitting around feeling sorry for herself when they could be anywhere. Well, she had a pretty good idea of where they would be actually.

A moments indecision and she was on her feet, tracing her way back along the path Jack had lead her more than three years before.

TTT

The SUV careered around corners as the team left Cary's ex's house.

'So what's our next move?' Jack asked from behind the wheel.

'Stop the entire city of Cardiff from shagging?' Owen said sarcastically, 'And where the hell is Winter?'

'Put bromide in the water supply.' Gwen replied as a joke, 'she ran out just before you let Carys out.'

'No, too hit and miss,' Jack told her, 'she'll be fine, let her have some time to sort herself out.'

'Yeah and the water company got really pissed off the last time we did that,' Owen added, 'what did you do to her?'

'It could have used any body in Cardiff, why her?' Tosh asked, 'I could track Winter if you like.'

'I just assumed it was random,' Gwen replied, 'and you have a tracking device on her?'

'If it was random it would have gone for the closest female not wearing a mask in Cardiff, which would have been Winter. You're lucky you were wrong.' Jack said, a hint of darkness in his voice, 'and yes, she tends to wander off.'

Owen interrupted, 'Alright so we know that she'll be ok can we concentrate on Carys before this conversation makes MY head explode.'

Everyone gave Owen a look to tell him that wasn't funny but Jack did as he asked.

'It's using Carys' life to get what it needs.'

'So what else do we know about her to give us a lead?'

'Anything you can think of.'

They all turned to look at Gwen.

'What are you all looking at me for?'

'You did all the profiling.' Owen told her.

'I don't know sorry.'

Owen looked over at Jack accusingly, 'She's really great under pressure.'

'There's got to be something,' Jack told her, 'what did you say Carys' job was?'

'She's just a temp, receptionist.'

'Where's she working at the moment?'

'I can pull her employment files up.' Tosh said, tapping at her computer. 'Conway clinic'

'You're joking!' Owen asked turning around.

'What's the problem?'

'It's a bloody fertility clinic.'

No one looked impressed. 'Sperm donors! An unlimited supply of orgasmic energy without all the build up'

'The perfect hit.' Jack agreed.

They turned the car around and sped off towards the clinic.

TTT

Winter looked at the building through bleary eyes, it had taken her longer than she remembered to make the journey on foot and now she was exhausted.

Years ago this had been a house. A dump for drug addicts, sex and squatting. Now it was a clinic and it was as if people had just forgotten what had gone on here. As if no one but her cared.

She pushed away from the wall opposite and turned down the next street to a long ally leading to a battered door which swung open with a quick yank. Inside it was dark and cold but at least it was dry and relatively sold. She could hear nothing but the cars outside and the rustle of the wind through the broken glass of the windows.

A slight noise made her turn sharply and she came face to face with a boy, he had dirty blond hair, grey eyes and an odd circular mark above one eye on his forehead. It looked like an old cigarette burn. He was about the same age as her and much bigger. She took a few steps back when she realised she didn't know him. That couldn't be good, she used to know everyone in this group. He glared at her and growled. 'Who are you?'

'My names Winter.' She said, so frightened she only just realised her mistake. 'I mean Nemo! I'm Nemo.'

'Who are you?' someone yelled from the room at the end of the hallway, she looked around the boy in front of her and found a small crowd of teenagers, slowly moving towards her surrounding her. Some of them she recognised, years had passed and yet they still looked the same to her, but with her clean clothes and well kept figure she must have looked pretty different. She tried to explain hurriedly as the eldest boy pushed her into the middle of a crowd and blocked the door.

'I'm, Nemo, I used to live here, three years ago. Remember? I'm Andrew's…'

'You're trespassing'

She saw recognition in some of their eyes but the blonde boy pushed her around to face him and smiled dangerously at her.

'I just,' she glanced towards the door and calculated how quickly she could get to it and get it open, 'look, I'm sorry, I thought my friends were here. I'll get out of your way and you never…'

'You're not going anywhere. You police? You snitching?'

'What? No, I just want to go.'

'You're going about where you don't belong,' he said, shoving her into the wall of bodies. They pushed her back and he brought up his hand smacking her down to the floor.

Dragging her back up by her hair he pressed his face close to hers.

'Who are you!'

'Let me go.' She lashed out and he dropped her. She took the second of confusion to make a run for the door but it was locked and she felt hands of all sizes grab her and begin dragging her to the other side of the building.

TTT

The team exited the clinic, Carys held tightly in Owen's arms as he and Tosh made for the back of the car to lay her out in the boot. Jack opened one of the back doors for Gwen but he stopped when he realised who was sitting on the seat in question.

'Nemo?'

She was sitting on her hands and her head was lowered slightly so her hair covered her face. He reached for her face but she flinched away.

'Can you just take me home, please.'

He pulled back and left the door for Gwen to climb over. No one talked on the way back and, once at the Hub, Winter was the first out and when they got down to the bottom she made straight for Jack's office but barely got through the door because Jack was following behind and in the Hub lights he'd finally noticed the blood on her dark top.

'Hey, what's going on.'

She froze in the doorway and wrapped her arms around herself. Even Pip was keeping his distance.

'Nemo?' Jack became aware that the rest of the team had collected behind him, having left Carys in the med bay. 'Where have you been?'

She sighed and finally turned around slowly and looked up at him. For a second he wished she hadn't. She carefully pushed her hair back, with trembling fingers, to reveal her face and he almost joined the collective gasp behind him. Her face was red, the sort of red that came before a bruise had fully formed. Her lip was split, there was a large gash on her cheek and bruises on her neck.

Jack edged closer and tucked a finger under her chin, turning her face towards him although she wouldn't meet his eyes. He peeled up her shirt a little and noted the damage there, luckily it looked like all the blood had come from her head wounds but the skin was mottled and looked very tender. She was a mess. He was lost for words.

'What the fuck happened to you?' Owen whispered his voice hoarse.

She pulled back from Jack and pulled her hair back in front of her face as Owen snatch a light from his desk and pushed past Jack to look at the cut on her cheek. 'Bloody hell, there's glass in this.'

Winter flinched away from him and he held up his hands palm up.

'What happened?' Jack asked, deadly quiet 'Who did this?'

She sighed and her chest shook as she tried not to cry, mainly out of embarrassment and shame. 'I went to visit my old friends. '

'They did this?'

'No, I mean, yes some of them but, no it was different. Just drop it, okay?

'Not okay they could have killed you.' Jack raised his voice slightly.

'They're kids, they were scared.'

'That doesn't make them any less responsible.'

'Of course it doesn't but…'

'If they'd done this to someone else would you be letting them go.'

'Of course not but…'

'Then what makes you so different?'

'I left them!'

The Hub fell silent. Jack and Owen had straightened a little when she yelled at them. Winter took a deep breath and pulled it together.

'We were a bunch of frightened kids living without an adult. The only parents any of us new were abusive, or negligent or addicts. We had nothing, just each other. Do you know how terrifying it is for a kid to go around with no adults to help you? No one to protect you or teach you how things work. I had friends who were raped, stabbed and left on the side of a street to die. I knew a guy who fell out with a nearby gang so they set fire to his tent while he was sleeping in it.'

Jack's jaw hardened and she sighed.

'It's not a nice place sometimes and if you want to get by you either want the biggest or the smartest person in charge. When it was me it was different, now they've gone for brawn and this is what happens. I was stupid. I should have thought it through. I brought this on myself. So, drop it.'

'Gwen, take Carys home to her dad. Toshiko, go with her, take the SUV. Owen you can stay.' The two women disappeared from the room and Jack carefully approached her, hands in his pockets.

'There's only so much you can do in this life, Nemo. You wouldn't have done them any favours by not coming here. You needed to move on, you needed to grow up. Those kids are frightened, like you said. So, if you want to help them now, do something positive.'

'Like what?'

'Well, start by fixing from the ground up.'

She frowned for a moment, staring at him in confusion but then it clicked.

'A home?'

'You find a building, I'll find the money.'

'Why?'

'Maybe if you give them somewhere safe to be they won't have to be frightened anymore and they won't do this to anyone else. It would take a lot of planning but we could give it a go. If that's what you want.'

She looked up at Jack, wide eyed. 'You would do that?'

'For you?' he ducked down slightly and pushed her hair back, brushing her sore cheek with his thumb, 'anything.'

She smiled and wiped a few stray tears away with the heel of her palm.

'If you promise me one thing,' Jack said.

'What?'

'Stay,' he replied and he carefully wrapped his arms around her, 'please.'

She nodded into his shoulder.

...

'You do know I'm still here right' Owen said.

…

Review Responses:

[Wordartist14: I know what you mean, sometimes I re-read it and I have to check myself as to who's speaking. It's mainly because a lot of the dialogue is stuff from the actual show and I've read stories where they've just said 'Jacks says….Gwen replies…. Jack counters….Owen says…' and after a while I was left thinking, 'yes, I've watched the show too.' I'll look over the next chapters again and try and sort out the speaking things.

adctd2music: there is quite a bit of Ianto and Winter especially in cyberwoman (I had so much fun writing that one) so hopefully you won't be disappointed. They are really good friends I think maybe because they joined at a similar time and she doesn't look over him like the others do. He's also quite young for a torchwood operative which makes them a similar age. However Winter has quite a few problems that she still hasn't worked through yet. As we see in this chapter. She's not going to let that stop her but when it comes to really letting people in she worries that it will end up going wrong. I think I'll shut up now or I'll give away the whole story line]