Well, after over a year-long hiatus, I'm back! I don't know how often I will be updating this story, but I will try to do it on a regular basis!
"Here, put this on your face."
Jude handed me an ice pack wrapped in a towel. He was holding one to his ribs and a paper towel to a small cut close to his eyebrow. I could see bruises in their very beginning stages starting to form on his arms and face. I knew I looked the same.
That fight was one of the most intense we'd ever had. We fought countless times at New Intelligence, whether it was for training or because we were pissed at each other. Sure, some of those fights were more intense physically, but this one was different. New Intelligence fights were, for the most part, emotionless. This one was fueled by emotion. Jude was pissed at James Link, so was I. But I was pissed at Jude, too. He was rude to Stef and Lena. That was unacceptable.
"Thanks," I gladly accepted the ice pack and rested against my jaw. "Jude, you have to apologize to Stef and Lena. You know that your behavior was out of line, right?"
Jude shook his head and sighed deeply. "I know. I was just so angry! But they didn't deserve that. I'll apologize later."
We sat in the cold garage together and let the silence fill the space between us. The rest of the family retreated to the house after the fight. I knew Jude wasn't ready to face them so I hauled him off to the garage to continue cooling down.
"Callie, I don't think it is safe for me to live in the house right now. I never know how I am going to feel from one day to the next. Half of the time I want to lay in bed all day and other times I want to punch something… or someone. They aren't safe around me."
I looked at my brother and saw the pain on his face. He truly believed he was dangerous. And to be honest, I did a little bit too.
"Where are you going to go? This is the safest foster home for you to be in. And group homes are just going to trigger you even more. And there is no way in hell that I am going to let you runaway." I set the ice pack on the couch and rubbed my temples, trying to ease the pain that was building in my head.
"I don't know what to do. I don't want to leave you or the rest of our family, but I want them to be safe. What if you hadn't been home tonight? What if, God forbid, someone else had tried to calm me down? I could have killed them, Alpha!"
"Well, we aren't going to come up with any good decisions on our own. And it really isn't up to us. We need to talk to Stef and Lena. Are you ready to go back in?" I let out a deep breath and shivered a little. "It's freezing in here. I'm going back in. Come when you're ready."
I put my ice pack back on my jaw and walked back to the warm house. Stef and Lena were sitting at the kitchen table with mugs of hot cocoa. Two other steaming mugs were waiting for me and Jude.
"We're okay. We've taken and given each other beatings way worse than this." I answered their question before they were able to get it out. "Jude is still in the garage, but he'll come in when he is ready."
"I'm ready now." Jude was standing in the doorway with his ice pack pressed hard against his ribs.
"Come sit down, my loves." Lena ushered us further into the house and quickly closed the door to shut out the howling winds.
Jude paced back and forth, refusing to sit down. I knew he still had some energy to work off and was afraid it would build up if he was sitting still.
"I am… I'm so, so sorry. My behavior was inexcusable. I had no right to talk to you the way I did and I definitely have the right to become violent." His words were quiet but meaningful.
I sipped on my drink and watched Stef and Lena exchange a look with each other.
"You're right, Jude. You were out of line tonight." Lena got up and moved to a seat closer to Jude. She grabbed his mug of hot chocolate and held it out to him, which he reluctantly accepted. "But, we're proud of you for recognizing that and for apologizing."
The room fell silent, but Stef quickly broke it. "Some things are going to have to change around here. To begin, Jude, you are grounded. You will go to class and you can spend the day on campus in between your classes, but you will come home immediately after your last one. You will not have any privileges. That means no TV, no internet except for schoolwork, no phone, and no Connor. We'll give you a flip phone for emergencies but you will only be able to make calls, no texting. Do you understand?"
"Yes, ma'am." Jude finally sat down and hung his head low.
"You are going to take anger management classes and attend therapy at least two times a week. Also, we are going to schedule an appointment with a psychiatrist for you. Agent McGee will be monitoring the chips for any defective ones. You are done with that for now." Stef's voice had very "no nonsense" tone.
Jude nodded and quickly wiped tears that were forming in his eyes. "What if that's not enough?"
"What do you mean, love?" Lena put a hand on Jude's back reassuringly.
My brother looked at me with pain in his eyes. I nodded to him, encouraging to voice his fears.
"I'm scared that it isn't safe for me to live here anymore. I'm dangerous. I don't want to hurt anyone."
Lena and Stef shared another sad look.
"Buddy, this is why you are going to go to anger management and up your therapy. You'll be able to learn skills to control your anger and find healthy outlets for it." Lena tried to reassure him, but he just shook his head.
"I think… I think it would be better if you put me in a hospital. They'll pump me full of medication and I'll be to be drugged up to hurt anyone."
"Jude, give this a chance, please." I broke my silence, begging my brother to fight. "You are strong and resilient. You can overcome this! Please fight." My voice started shaking and Stef quickly came to my side.
"Let's try and ride this out. If you work your programs and are honest about what you are feeling, you will feel better. Your sister is right, Jude. You're a strong young man and you have fought your way through things you should never have had to fight through. Can you give this a shot, please?" Stef sounded almost as desperate as I did.
Jude sighed but nodded. "I just don't want to hurt anyone. I don't want anyone to be afraid of me."
"No one is scared of you. We understand that you are struggling." Lena kissed him on the temple and rubbed his back. "Why don't you go upstairs and take a shower and go to bed."
He smiled sadly and retreated upstairs quietly.
Silence fell between us again.
"Thank you for not giving up on him." My voice was small. I was tired, in pain, and hurting for my brother.
Stef hugged me and Lena came over to join us.
"We love you and your brother, Callie. We aren't giving up on either of you." Stef reassured me.
I smiled and relaxed into her hug.
"You should go to bed to, Cal. Your therapy appointment is tomorrow at 10." Stef stood and walked me to the stairs. "I know you're worried, but I think this is going to help you a great deal."
"I know. You and Lena are the only two people who I have really allowed in. And that was hard. It's just scary to do it again."
Stef smiled. "We're very proud of you and we love you very much."
I hugged her and Lena goodnight and made my way up to my room. It quickly dawned on me just how exhausted I was.
I laid down on my bed, still fully clothed, and let myself sink down into the warm blankets.
Jude and I were getting ready to start an incredibly difficult healing process. I didn't want to open myself up to someone new, but deep down I knew that I needed to.
Sleep very quickly overtook me. All night I dreamt of Jude locked away in a hospital.
Let me know in the reviews what you would like to see happen! I have a couple ideas but I'd like to incorporate what you all want to read!