Former Heroes (Who Quit Too Late)

by clockworkcuttlefish

When the former Darth Revan disappeared from known space, she left a lover and a child behind. After their daughter is taken by the Jedi, Carth takes drastic measures that catapult him into the turmoil of the Galactic Cold War and reunites them against impossible odds. In a galaxy that still trembles where she walks, how could one man's influence change the course of the future?

27. Miss Galon Regrets

A/N: God, I apologize for the delay. Everything happens so much, all the time.

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27: Miss Galon Regrets

Despite his groggy insistence that he didn't need it, a medical vehicle met them at the shuttle pad and shipped him toward the Jedi Enclave at the Senate Tower. For her, however, there was a military shuttle with a small, 3-4 person guard force.

Well, she was at least happy there weren't shock cuffs.

"We're here to escort you to the Senate tower, Master Jedi," one of them said. She sighed and turned back to Khemmaa.

"I'm not going to drag you into this."

"I appreciate it, I've heard rumors about High Command."

"They're all true. Uh, would you mind keeping an eye on TS and Mora for me? TS, mind going with Khemmaa? I'll need T3." It wasn't even worth it to try to send HK off, he'd just turn up where she was anyway.

"Sure. I'll head back to the Embassy. They've wanted me back for a while."

Revan nodded. "Thank you. And… thanks for coming on the Foundry with us. I'm sorry it ended how it did." Khemmaa simply nodded and headed off toward the Senate Tower on foot with TS following and Mora in her arms. Revan sighed again. "All right. Lead the way."

She headed into the shuttle and settled down, followed by the droids and the Republic guards, and the shuttle took off for the Senate Tower. Fortunately, the ride would be short.

They landed on the Senate Tower's private shuttlepad and ushered her into a side entrance. There was a back staircase immediately to her left that they immediately turned toward.

"So," she started. "Am I actually arrested this time, or—"

"It's your safety, ma'am." The man in front, a lieutenant by his insignia, produced a datapad and handed it back to her. Revan frowned and flicked it on.

Secret Republic Factory Destroyed! The headline was definitely Imperial. Imperial Fugitive Killed in Assault!

"Oh, they're saying I'm dead now?"

The lieutenant nodded. "High Command feared they might correct that error."

"Fair enough. I appreciate the lack of shock cuffs, at least."

To her surprise, he chuckled. "Any time, ma'am. Unless I am actually arresting you. If I was, I would've asked for more support."

It was Revan's turn to laugh. "I like you."

They saw her as far as the usual High Command meeting room before dispersing, and Revan drew a deep breath as she stared at the door. The aide outside didn't seem notice her.

"Stay out here, HK, and don't blast anything." The droid made his usual disgruntled whirring noise. "T3, you'll come in with me, just in case. Hopefully this will be quick." T3 whistled. "Nothing with High Command is ever painless."

He replied with a nervous, trailing dwoo. That seemed to catch the aide's attention, and Revan half-waved.

"High Command sent a shuttle to pick me up?"

"Of course, Master Jedi. I'll let you know when they're ready for you."

Revan nodded and moved back to the tower's railing, where she leaned heavily on the banister and sighed. "Master frakkin' Jedi," she grumbled under her breath.

Around five minutes passed before the intern cleared their throat and she turned back. "They're ready for you."

"Great."

The door zipped open ahead of her, and she entered stonily with T3 wheeling behind her. As she sank down at the table, she met Rans' eyes with a stony glare that, she hoped, transmitted every "I told you so" she'd said in her entire life. To his credit, he didn't look away.

As the door closed, the Supreme Commander cleared his throat. "Welcome back to Coruscant, Revan." She didn't answer, and he cleared his throat again. "We've received the final casualty reports from the Foundry. They comprise the complete destruction of the Hammerhead cruiser Dorin's Sky, severe damage to the Valor-class dreadnought Aleutia, a second Hammerhead, three frigates, two Corvettes, a hundred and fifty fighters, and a thousand personnel. The Jedi—" Her eyes flicked to Satele, who was staring up at the ceiling with her legs crossed instead of looking at her. "—are reporting the loss of thirty Jedi stationed at the Foundry, whether on the fleet or on the station itself. This is, of course, ignoring the loss of the Foundry itself." Rans set his datapad back onto his table. "Would you like to explain?"

"We were attacked when Onasi was off-duty. The day shift was still relaxing when the Dorin's Sky came in to dock, nearly six hours late. I left the rec area to oversee the personnel transfer. Upon reaching the docking tube, around twelve Sith broke out the airlock and immediately began an assault. I left the Jedi on the Foundry to deal with it and took some personnel, as well as the Admiral, back into the Foundry. They were to cover us as we to wiped the factory's data, just in case."

Her voice was surprisingly solid as she continued. "Unfortunately, Mertz was unable to fully hold the line, and several Sith and numerous regular soldiers followed us and cut through our people like they were barely there. I threw every remaining droid the Foundry had at them, which slowed them down enough for the data wipe to be nearly complete when they reached the control center. Myself and my assa- bodyguard droid held them back enough for Onasi to finish the wipe and prime the self-destruct, during which he was injured. Once alerted to nearly two hundred Imperials boarding at several points in the Foundry itself via probes, I set the self-destruct and left the facility. At that point, it was an unwinnable situation. I thought it most prudent to retreat with the Admiral to the fleet, find him medical attention, and allow the fleet to retreat as the Foundry was destroyed. I assume the ensuing blast took out more Imperial forces than those we lost, if anyone cares about that."

"And why was the defense not more successful?" Rans asked.

"I did not have enough resources."

"Resources?"

This time, she allowed the bitterness in. "I spoke to you a week ago and told you an attack on the Foundry was imminent and you said, and I quote, 'if you're half as good as both you and history claim, you should have no problem protecting the Foundry yourself.'" She paused a moment, allowing discontented muttering to run through the admirals at the back of the room. "Powerful though I may be, if I don't have enough resources — what did you expect me to do? Head out in a suit and take on a fleet with a lightsaber?

"The Foundry was essential to continuing defense!" A Mon Calamari general, whose name she didn't remember nor did she care, interrupted her fledgling tirade. "If that would've stopped the assault, then yes."

"What did you want me to do?" Revan slammed her hand on the table. "I am not a god! I can't manipulate time and space in that manner! I did the best I could with what I had, and all I had was that factory's self-destruct!"

"A factory that you wasted."

"I told you to expect an imminent attack on the Foundry — it isn't my fault you all ignored that."

"You'd blame the dead, then, before blaming yourself?"

The stare she leveled him with could have melted carbonite. "I accept full responsibility for my actions, not yours."

The room went silent. She continued, "Perhaps I should have been more forceful in my assertions. Perhaps I didn't do everything I could. I want everyone to remember that I said an attack was imminent, and I was dismissed."

"But you destroyed the Foundry!" This was a Special Forces general whose name, like the other, she couldn't be bothered to dig out of her mind. "We could have retaken—"

"With what army? That was Malgus' fleet. They would have dug in harder than we did, they wouldn't have wasted their time making medical droids, and they wouldn't delete all that nasty Rakata code that I did. They would've gone straight to overpowered military models and the thousand personnel you just lost would be a sideshow to the devastation they would have caused." The general looked away somewhat sheepishly. "Besides, we turned out millions of droids. Most were high-powered military models that have already seen massive success on the field. It gives us an advantage the Imperials can't replicate, not without painstakingly reassembling billions of pieces of Rakata tech that they don't understand."

The room was still silent. Finally, Admiral Salhru, in the back, shook his head. "The Oversight Committee already heard about this, thanks to the Empire, and they're breathing down our necks. The Senators—"

"Hang the Senate, this is war. The Senate will never understand it. We had value holding the Foundry even half as long as we did — short of rebuilding the Star Forge itself, which I don't recommend, that was the best we could have done. It's my understanding that these droids paid for themselves a hundred times over."

The SpecOps general weighed in again. "And how much more could—"

"You would have lost a million soldiers taking the Foundry. If that's what you want, General—" She stumbled over the name, and left it at that. "—then you know what? Be my guest. I kept the Republic from a worse tragedy. Maybe that's not good PR these days, with how you're handling things, but that's none of my business."

She wasn't sure how the silence could become more silent, but it did.

"All right," Rans finally admitted. "Perhaps we should have handled the matter of the Foundry's security more stringently."

Revan waved her hand and sat back heavily in her chair.

"But, the Foundry is a great loss. It'll take explaining for the MOC to understand." Rans made a few notes on his datapad with a sigh. "After all, judging from Kaylak's report, it was an overwhelming force that attacked the Foundry."

All that arguing over an "overwhelming force" attack. She almost stood to walk out, but reined herself in at the last minute. T3 whistled quietly. She looked down, and he pointed to the datapad on the table in front of her. It was levitating ever-so-slightly off the desk.

Revan drew a deep breath to settle herself down and gently set it back on the table so it didn't fall. Damn her for being so on edge.

"Does the Grand Master have anything to add?" Rans looked over at Satele. She shook her head, still studying the ceiling over Revan's head.

"Not in this meeting."

Oh, joy.

"Revan, if you would meet with me in my office in an hour, there is something else I would like to discuss," Rans continued. "Otherwise, I believe this session is over."

"Thank the Force," Revan mumbled as she stood. "If you'll excuse me."

She didn't look back as she hit the door. The aide quickly stepped out of her way, and it was clear from the whirring that HK had fallen in behind her without query.

They were halfway down the corridor, heading for the stairs, when HK interrupted. "Alert: Master, the—"

"Not here, HK." Revan stopped and turned back, spotting Satele jogging to catch up. She sighed heavily, but waited.

"I apologize," Satele said as she drew to a stop. "I did not expect you to leave so quickly."

"Carth is in your Enclave. I need to be there."

"I am aware." Satele began walking again, and Revan joined her. Thankfully, the Grand Master seemed to understand her urgency. "I did not want to shout across the Tower, either, for reasons I am sure you know."

Revan thought for a second. "Oh, the Imperial reports?"

"Yes. They are very adamant that you died on the Foundry."

"Good."

Satele paused, but didn't stop walking. "Good?"

"Yes. Good. Let Revan finally die like she should've on the Star Forge."

This time, Satele stopped. "I—"

"I'm not dismissing the rumors, if that's what you're asking me to do."

"The morale—"

"The army will survive. Make it a grand, heroic story about how I ordered the fleet to leave and hit the self-destruct on that factory, graciously sacrificing myself to ensure that such a weapon didn't fall into the Empire's hands. The Republic has a good PR office. I'm sure they can do it." She headed down the stairs, and Satele sighed and caught up. "I'm still a danger to the Emperor, and he knows I am still alive. Our link is still there - if I can feel him, he can feel me. Malgus likely knows I escaped. Perhaps the Dark Council knows. But if most of the Sith believe I'm dead, I can stop looking over my shoulder for every rising lord with a chip on their shoulder, and every bounty hunter after the thirty million credit bounty on my head."

"It's that high?"

"I keep track of these things. And maybe for once I could just work without being worried about sleeping safely."

"If the Emperor—"

"He has his own ways of coming after me. I'm sure he's replaced Scourge by now. He has Malgus. He's got his various weird mind kids." She suspected it was unintentional, but the snort Satele made might have been an attempt at laughter. "Believe me, I'm more than willing to take on all of those than the entire godsdamned Empire having it out for me."

"If you have made up your mind, I know I cannot change it." Revan squinted at her. "What?"

"I've never had anyone on the High Council, let alone the godsdamned Grand Master, say that to me. Are you feeling well? You're not coming down with some sort of—"

"Consider it the knowledge of history."

"Fair enough." Revan sighed. "I've lost everything, Satele, except him. All but two of my friends, I couldn't watch my daughter grow up, the only reason I even have Carth is because he's a reckless idiot. I've fought two wars, I've seen both sides of the Force orders, I've saved the Republic at least twice — I need a vacation. You all are young and spry, you can handle things from here."

"It is not as if I could stop you." Revan smirked as they drew to a stop outside a door. The sign above it identified it as their destination. "I'll inform the Council of your decision. Do you have any plans?"

"Still intending to keep tabs on me?"

"Someone has to."

"Taking care of Carth at the moment. It's my fault this happened."

Satele nodded. "Of course."

Revan started to open the door and paused. "About the Jedi on the Foundry—"

The Grand Master shook her head. "You know how we operate. There is no death."

"Right. Still. I'm sorry. I know the Order is stretched thin." The next part was destined to be a blatant lie, but she continued anyway. "If I could have gotten everyone off the Foundry safely, I would have."

Satele studied her for a moment. "There is no need to lie. You are a strategist. You would have done what was necessary."

"Ah, well, I tried to be soothing." Revan tapped the lock, and the door opened. "Grand Master."

"Re—"

"Anna again, now."

She nodded. "Anna."

Satele headed back into the Tower, destination unknown, and Revan headed into the Enclave. The Jedi's protocol droid, with the Order's emblem painted in white on his shoulder, stood behind his desk, but the foyer was otherwise empty. Revan tapped on the desk.

"Hello. Welcome to the Jedi Order's Coruscant Enclave!" the droid announced in the usually chipper voice. "I am J2-F2. How might I assist you today?"

"There is a medical room here, yes?"

"Of course." It pointed to a door. "You will find the medical bay through that door. However, I must ask for visitor authoriz—" Revan ignored him and headed toward the door. "I am sorry, I must—"

"Don't worry, F2, they're expecting me." She punched the lock, and the door slid open.

She spotted Thaymina first, her back to the door, wreathed in a halo of golden light - Revan had seen a few Jedi healers in action, and that glow was certainly a good sign. Her primary target, however, was on the bed in front of her, face-down, his head resting in his folded arms. Only decorum kept her from running.

As she approached, Carth lifted his head, and she was relieved to see that most of the sedation seemed to have faded.

"Hey, gorgeous."

She'd never thought those two words could reduce her nearly to tears. As she stopped by the bed, she bent down and kissed his temple.

"Hey, flyboy. How are you feeling?"

"Better now that the Republic hasn't got me drugged to hell. Still, ah…" Carth winced. "Still hurts, though."

"It'll sting for a while. Maybe years."

He gently brushed the shoulder where Malak's lightsaber had nearly severed her in two, save for the mercy of one shield generator. "You would know."

"What did I say about staying still?" Thaymina chided. Carth rolled his eyes and resumed his earlier position. "How was the meeting with High Command?"

"Better than the last time I talked to a Hutt," Revan replied. "How is he?"

"I've repaired the damage to his spine. It was surprisingly easy, given nerve damage I've seen before. Nothing was even severed."

"I've heard that about five times," Carth mumbled into his arms.

"Just repairing some muscle damage now. I have warned him that he might end up with a slight limp, but it should be mostly unnoticeable. And, in the grand scheme of lightsaber injuries, he got off very fortunate."

Revan nodded as she rested her hand on Carth's. "Not many walk away from this."

"They do not." His hand shifted slightly, and their fingers intertwined. "He will need to stay off his feet for a few days."

"I think I can browbeat him into a chair." Carth grumbled into the table, and Revan grinned weakly. "Why were you on Coruscant?"

Thaymina sighed. "Research. I had to get into the Archives."

"Sounds fun."

"The research was. Getting there? Not so much." The glow faded from the surrounding air, and Thaymina brushed her hands off on her robes. "All right, Carth, how do you feel?"

Carth raised his head slightly and flexed his back. The black burn scar across it stretched, and he winced. "It's still a bit sore, but that's it."

"Good. Revan, will you help me get him up?"

Between the three of them, they helped Carth into a sitting position. He winced and caught himself on the cot, and Thaymina nodded. "That was what I was worried about. One second." She reached beneath the cot and produced a band of fabric. Revan helped him straighten up, and Thaymina fastened the brace around his waist. "There. That should help stabilize you as it finishes healing. I'll find you a chair."

Thaymina hurried off. Carth looked back at Revan, that look was back in his eyes, and she sighed.

"We didn't finish," he said quietly.

"I know. I'm not sorry." He blinked. "Carth, that's… that's what I can do. I can use some of the darker sides of the Force without that risk. I'm the same person, I'm still me. If I did it all the time, we could worry. But a little lightning here or there? I'll be fine. I promise." She took his hand. "If I wouldn't be fine, I wouldn't do it. I don't want to be her again. I—" There was a lot she still hadn't told him about her time as Darth Revan, and a lot she didn't know if she ever would. "I like being me. I wouldn't jeopardize that, not willingly. I promise."

Carth raised his hand and cupped the side of her face. "You know I don't know a godsdamned thing about the Force."

"Yeah."

"You're sure you know what you're doing?"

"Yes. This isn't even that esoteric. It's fully possible, even if it was largely theoretical until now. I promise." He sighed and nodded. "But I can't apologize for using everything at my disposal in that situation. I won't apologize for it."

"All right, you made your point." His tone was back to the grumpy outrage he usually responded to her with, and she kissed his nose. "I'm trying to be mad."

"I know." She hugged him gently, burying her head in his neck. Carth returned it, though he was still a little stiff. "I thought I was going to lose you."

He pressed a kiss to her temple, his arms tightening slightly. "For a bit, I thought you would."

- 13 -