The ink flows down into a dark puddle, how do I write love in your reality?
If I can't hear the sound of your heartbeat, what do you call love in your reality?

I start to awaken. Time felt nothing. Everything was warped. I'm in a black void.

Jeremy!

I hear the echo of a sweet voice calling to me. It was distant. Far. I came nearer to where the sound echoed.

Jeremy! Gosh, please wake up...

I came nearer.

Jeremy... please...

The voice started to panic and the quiet breaths the voice made started to speed up. I was running, trying to find any discernible exit.

Keep screaming louder, you idiot!

JEREMY!

I was panicking too, with beads of sweat cascading down slowly off my forehead.

Louder!

JEREMY! Please... I'm begging you...

The voices were getting louder.

My name was echoed all over and over again and my head was spinning; I was on the brink of insanity.

And then I fell.

"JEREMY!"

I jolted up panting crazily, with three girls backing up from getting startled from my sudden awaking. They were nothing like humans. Still, my vision were still groggy and warped. But that began to gradually get better.

"WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?!" I screamed, backing away too with widened eyes.

"Tell him to calm down!"

"NATSUKI, I WAS ABOUT TO DO THAT!" A sudden scream went punctured my left ear. I looked in fright, and looking at the distance was an long auburn-haired girl with glinting emerald green eyes. And then I suddenly realized.

She smiled sweetly to me. Assertively, she stood up and showed her hand to me. I firmly grabbed it and she brought me up. Surprisingly, she was strong. But then I remember she was the most beautiful, athletic and intelligent girl in the game, well, story-wise.

"Hello, Jeremy." Monika winked.

"How do you know my name?" I inquired, shaking, after sparks of energy simultaneously shook my body.

"You said your name was Jeremy."

"I never said that."

"In the game."

"Ah, yes, I remember," I recalled back. If I put some dumb name like 'Bitch', this would've made this interaction a lot more hilarious. Or bad if I physically abuse her after calling me a bitch; I wouldn't even know how I would react in that hypothetical situation. But pretty much this situation is exactly like a hypothetical situation. A far-fetched situation, but still, it's happening. But I'm doubting it. With that recalling, I also recalled the searing pain of the sparks electrocuting me. Alongside that, I decided to look at my hand, which was sore and red.

"This is a hallucination, isn't it?" My logical side started to show up. I slowly backed away, afraid that being closer to them would make me more insane.

After I think of that, that actually doesn't make sense.

"Hallucination?" Monika questioned.

"We're here, dummy," Natsuki stated. Goddamnit, she was salty.

"Are we even real?" Sayori asked herself, and along that the three girls. "Like, are we real to you?"

I stopped. "A bit philosophical, but you're not. You're just a hallucination after sparks electrocuted me." I stared at the girls wary. "Badly."

"That sounds painful," Yuri started to chime in.

"You're literally a computer character, how would you know? How would you feel pain? You're not real, so how would you fucking know?!"

"WATCH IT, BIMBO!" Natsuki lashed at me.

"Jeremy," I looked at Monika pleading at me with her glinting eyes filled with sorrow, "I understand that this might be insane, but can you first please-"

"Christ, Monika, you're asking me to calm down but you couldn't even calm down wanting me for your own selfish tendencies in the game. How would you know about calming down?! You killed everyone! How would you know about sipping some fucking tea, reading a book or writing a poem whilst calming the fuck down! How could you know that?!"

Monika stopped, and looked at me with a sorrowful face.

Everyone else looked at me with a juxtaposition of puzzled but sadly angry expressions.

I had no idea what to do.

I left the room.

The four girls will be likely to disconnect from me.

And it was my shitty mistake.

I went into my living room. I sat down on the sofa, tired and dejected.

All good things come with consequences.

I want to say sorry.

But I can't.

There's a tumor in my brain. To phrase it in the best way possible, it would be like strings of code. It would be like 'if fuck up' - 'be tempted to say sorry' - 'generate fear that veers you away from saying sorry' - 'feel shitty'. It's like that.

My train of thought incinerated away by Monika walking into the room.

"Hey, Jeremy," she put on an artificial smile.

She sat comfortably next to me, and looked at me seriously, dead in the eye.

"Please," she held my hand, rubbing her thumb against my index. "Don't tell the others. Don't tell the others that I had a desire to you know..."

"Kill them for me," I completed her sentence. "That's long gone. Soon they'll ask you if it's true."

"Jeremy..." Monika pulled my body facing towards the ground towards her.

"How the hell did you pull me like that?"

"Long story, but Jeremy..." She paused. "I forgive you for what happened. I love you, y'know. I'm programmed to, but still."

"But you're not in the game, Monika."

"Let's say I instinctively love you. That's more realistic, isn't it?"

"Yeah, it is."

"I love you, Jeremy."

I smiled.

Monika can sometimes be nice.

But I had to reply back...

"Jeremy, if you don't feel like replying back after that, that's fine by me," she smiled. "Too early for that."

I walked dejectedly to my bedroom, and began to see the three girls, Sayori, Yuri and Natsuki crowded around the bed, murmuring. Their eyes laid on me as my quiet footstep broke the silence.

"Hello, guys."

"Oh," Natsuki crossed her arms. "Hello, Jeremy."

"Uh... why are you here?"

"Talking," Sayori smiled subtly.

"About..."

"You," Yuri looked at me grimly in the eyes.

"Right..." I inhaled sharply. "Look, I'm sorry-"

"No," Yuri interrupted me.

"Excuse me?" I questioned, baffled.

"What you did was wrong, Jeremy." Yuri folded her arms. "Wrong."

"Yes, I admit, that's why I'm saying sorry in the first place."

"Again with the attitude," Sayori added in.

I inhaled sharply again. "I'm really sorry."

Silence, finally.

"If you're asking me a reason why I'm sorry is, first things first, I did a bad mistake, and second is for something else."

The girls perked their eyes at me, slowly widening.

"You just came into my reality and not in your reality by God knows what electricity problem happened. Perhaps I didn't pay my electric bill enough. But what is needed to be said that I need to take care of you. You look nothing like an average natural human being. Instead, you look like you are from an animated TV show that's now roaming the Earth, and everyone feels the need to stare at you puzzled because you look different." I paused for air. "Like racism."

"Get on with it," Yuri demanded.

"You need to know how to stay alive. You need to know how to fit in. From your reality filled with... nothing else but binary, everything is different. You can feel. You can hear your heart beating. You can breathe the fresh air around you. That's why I'm now thinking of trying different things. You're not pets, right now, you're going to be human beings. I'm thinking of making you three, and Monika, to experience new things. I'm trying my best to make those second nature to you know, like riding an elevator-"

Sayori raised her hand up.

"Yes, Sayori."

"What's an 'elevator'?"

Jesus fucking Christ. Yet, I can't blame her.

"It's a metal box you can go up and down in."

"I don't get it."

"We're going to learn a lot of things, Sayori. Anyway, if you want to stay alive and fit in with everybody else, you have to stay with me."

Silence.

"And I'm sorry, once again. It's your choice to forgive me and help me help you fit in or don't and leave out of the house dejected, regretting, dying cold and lonely in the streets. Choose."

Thank God.

They all forgave me, and spared me, and was given a fair warning. I showed them the house. The four were amazed, as I showed them the basic components of every house, which no human can be amazed at, except for a little kid. Everything was pretty boring to me, but the girls... God, they thought it was a Roman temple.

They agreed to sleep in the living room, which was not my part, but instead, Monika's part. She really was sparing.

The girls helped me lift up an old mattress AND cover it with old cartoon bed sheets.

And it went to here.

I sleep with a smile on my face.

My shitty mistake has been fixed.

A/N: This was pretty bad. But... I think these turned out OK for considering how bad some other non-Doki-Doki fanfiction were... Y'know... Yeah. That's it. Not really appropriate for an A/N. All I have to say that started out angsty and dramatic.

why am i even here

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