TW: Mentions of Past Abuse: Skip to the first 'TTT' break if you don't want to read that material.
[Just so you know the companion to this story is up, it's called 'words have meaning, names have power' hope you like it.]
And bad mistakes
I've made a few
I've had my share of sand kicked in my face -
But I've come through
Queen- We Are The Champions
Out of Time: part 2
'Winter, Winter it's me! It's Ianto!' He grasped her wrists tight enough to keep her still and she studied his face. It was him. After months of total isolation he was finally with her. She flung her arms over him and broke down in his grip. She felt herself picked up and carried a few meters before they were sat on something soft. Ianto held onto her as she cried making the occasional comforting noise but he let her cry herself out.
Eventually she calmed herself down and Ianto was able to talk ask, 'What happened?'
'Where's my mother?'
He paused, 'I…I'm sorry but she's dead.'
Winter nodded carefully, 'What happened Winter? Who killed her?'
She looked away from him, 'I did,' she whispered.
'What?'
'I killed her,' he looked down at her stunned, 'Oh my god, I stabbed her!'
'Why?'
Winter pulled at her hair and her sleeves, anything but look at him. He took her arms in his hands to grab her attention but she flinched back.
'Winter? Cariad?' He took her right hand and gently pushed the sleeve of her top up revealing a hand-shaped bruise beneath. He took a proper look at her face and realised there was a part healed mark across her cheek, under all the blood, and more discolouration along her collar bone. 'What's been going on?'
Winter shook her head violently and he lent over. Stroking the side of her face. 'She's been hitting you.' He stated. She nodded glumly. 'How long?' she shrugged. 'How long?' he repeated.
'Little less than a month after I came.'
'Why didn't you come back?'
'I couldn't. Even if I could have…'
'What?'
'I was embarrassed.'
He wrapped his arms around her and held her close, 'Lie down a while.'
'What are you going to do?'
'I have to call Jack.'
She jumped off the bed, 'No! No! Please don't! Oh God, Ianto you can't tell him please.'
He got up and crossed the room, 'Winter! He's going to find out. The police will arrive at some point and I can't hide all of this. I can't deceive him again.'
'But…'
'No. He has to see this.' He flipped open his phone and watched her carefully as Jack answered. 'Hi. Jack I need you to come to 10 George Street. Right now. Clean up job.' He closed the phone and wiped some of the tears and blood from her face.
A quarter of an hour later there was a whistle of surprise from the other room. Ianto exited and Winter considered trying to climb out of the window but instead her legs decided their own course. They followed Ianto.
'Who's the vic?' Jack asked.
'See for yourself' Ianto replied, she could hear them through the wall.
'Shit!' Owen exclaimed. What? Owen was here!
'Who is it?' Jack asked again.
'Winter's mother.' Ianto's revelation was followed by silence.
'Where is she?' Jack asked quietly.
'In the bedroom.' Ianto replied. Winter took a step back when she heard Jack. He sounded close to tears.
'Is she..?'
She took a step forward out from behind the door. Tosh and Gwen were stood by the front door kit at their feet both looking devastated. Owen was crouched by her mother looking to Ianto, she couldn't see his expression and Jack, Jack was stood opposite from Ianto his eyes imploring the younger man to tell him it was good news. Gwen gasped at the sight of her. She was perfectly aware she'd lost a few clothes sizes from her previous soft, curved figure. Along with the pale bloody skin she must have looked awful.
Jack took one look at her and swept over the room picking her up and wrapping her in his arms. She didn't move. When he pulled back he crouched so he could see her face. She refused eye contact and just started speaking.
'I don't know what happened. She came home drunk, that wasn't that unusual but. She pulled me into the living room for the night. She never did that. She kept me in my room. It didn't make sense.'
Winter sniffed aware that everyone was watching her, 'The knife was just on the side.'
Jack took in a deep breath. As her story progressed she got more and more hysterical and by the end her words came out as one massive jumble.
'She was crying, and telling me I'd killed Andy and I'd called social services on her and I wanted her in jail or dead and she picked up the knife and started yelling no one would miss me and that I'd ruined her life and she came at me and I just, I just ran at her. We knocked everything over and she went limp and the knife was in her and I pulled it out and I tried to stop it but. It was in my hands when she fell, I just dropped it. She just kept watching me, she wouldn't stop. I tried to save her, I tried.' Jack reached up and pulled her closer and Owen reached over Mrs Saunders to close her eyes.
She felt her feet lifted from the floor and she heard Jack telling Owen, Gwen and Tosh to finish up and then get back home. He carried her out of the house and let her into the SUV, Ianto hopped in next to her and held her hand. She laid her head on his shoulder until they got back to the hub and he tugged her out. Flanked by both men she walked back down the corridors and through the cog door. Tired and shaken as she was she felt a smile spread across her face until she gave a contented sigh of approval. Jack looked down at her and smiled back. It was clear he agreed. She was back.
She felt a familiar tug on her leg and Peregrine bounced around her chest, she cuddled him a little too tight and followed Jack to her room. She managed to pull of her shoes, top and trousers walked slowly to the showers, drawing her fingers across the tiles as she walked to remind her of their familiarity.
TTT
The hub lights cast an ethereal glow over the large space. Winter pulled her clean wet hair out from under Jack's borrowed shirt and into a mess of a bun then headed for the kitchen. Pulling a tub of rum and raison ice cream out of the fridge she sat at the table and tucked in slowly. So much had happened over the last month and suddenly she was back in her old surroundings. The funny thing was that other than her obvious weight loss and the bruises she didn't feel any different. Everything last night had happened in such a rush that she wasn't sure it had properly sunken in. Someone walked in behind her and she felt a body press up against her back, arms wrapped around her and one hand grasped her own stealing the blob of ice-cream from her spoon.
'Thought I'd find you up here.' Jack let go of her and retrieved another spoon from the draw as Winter moved to sit at the table. He sat next to her and flung an arm over the back of her chair and tucking into the food before them.
'Sorry, did I wake you?' She asked leaning back into him.
'Nah. Ianto snores.'
'Lies and slander, Sir.' The young man in question entered the room running a hand over his face and yawning. He too grabbed a spoon and sat across the table from Jack knocking his out the way so he could take a scoop for himself. They ate in silence for a while until Jack started a bit of light conversation. Time flew and suddenly they heard the alarm ring. Everyone looked up to see Tosh, Owen and Gwen all troop in and stand shocked at the scene before them. A finished tub of ice-cream, their boss in nothing but his boxers, Ianto half naked and Winter lying against Jack her bruises more visible and her eyes sparkling with laughter as Ianto's spoon hung in his mouth in shock.
TTT
Half an hour later the whole team were sat in the conference room, still in a state of undress, (though Ianto had grabbed a dressing gown to cover himself with) with two new tubs of ice cream and six spoons. Toshiko had just finished a story about a friend at university who had gone from being a punk rocker to an evangelical Christian in the summer break. Pip hadn't left Winter's side since he had woken this morning, clinging to her hair as if for dear life. Gwen took another spoonful of ice cream and looked over at Owen.
He seemed distracted. Winter had noticed this earlier but she had been hoping he was just feeling a bit ill but Owen was the sort of person that just took a day off if he was ill or got really snappy with everyone. This Owen was quiet, almost, depressed.
TTT
'I'm worried about Owen.' Winter stated as Jack sat at his desk looking very much like the front cover of a 'naked office' calendar.
'Excuse me?'
'Owen, he was quiet today. Too quiet. How long has he been like that?'
Jack leaned over his desk. 'Let me get this straight. You're sitting here covered in bruises and thin as a rake, not to mention that just yesterday you killed your own mother and you're worried about Owen.'
Winter moved uncomfortably on the spot. 'To be honest Jack I just want to forget it all.'
'Nemo,' he sighed exasperatedly.
'I know, I know, it's not healthy but…I don't know I just…I feel sad that I killed her. I do but I know it wasn't my fault. It wasn't like the fire. I didn't just walk past an innocent person in distress. She isn't the first person I've had to kill in self-defence. I wouldn't be able to do this job if I felt awful every time I had to kill something. I just want to move on and go back to how it was before.'
Jack nodded thoughtfully, 'You going to bed now?'
'Yeah I think so.'
'Alright then.'
She sighed and turned to walk out of the door.
'And Nemo!'
She turned to look at him.
'Around Christmas we had three people fly through the rift from way back, 50's. Older man, young girl and the pilot, a woman. Gwen looked after the girl and now she's off in London working. The male killed himself.' Jack got up and approached her, 'Owen got close to the pilot but she flew back into the rift on Christmas day to find a way back. It hit him pretty hard. Don't mention it too him.'
She smiled and nodded letting him kiss her cheek before heading off to her room.
She sat down on her bed and took in the room slowly. She had never really appreciated the simple things in her room. The covers that Ianto insisted on cleaning every two weeks, the bookcases with hundreds of well read novels and non-fiction books, the lights on the ceiling glinting at her like the night sky. She pulled the covers back and watched as Pip curled up in his hammock before lying back against the mattress and taking a deep breath. She smiled contentedly and snuggled down to sleep.
It was hot. Blisteringly hot. The air was hardly breathable. Smoke billowed through the doors as she fought through the rooms. Needles littered the floor, melted plastic and burning cardboard coated every surface. The flames licked the walls and ceiling in a terrifying dance. It was hell on earth.
Nemo battled through, she could feel the dust coat her throat, clogging her senses. Every room she passed there were people lying on the floor. Wide eyed, pupils dilated from some drug or other. One girl was screaming bloody murder about daemons from the pit of hell. She kept moving kept running but she was going so slowly.
Suddenly she was at the top of the stairs and she looked around.
'Andy! ANDY!' she screamed. But saw nothing. All of a sudden the ground beneath her feet collapsed and she fell, screaming.
'Winter!'
She leapt up and crashed into the body opposite her. Arms snaked around her and she fought, slapping and scratching, for them to let her go. She whimpered and yelped trying to force them away until she heard a soft humming. It was a tune she recognised. One that Andy had hummed on occasion and one that only one other person had sung to her since. "Lisa Lan"
'Ianto?' she asked tentatively.
He ran a hand down her back and shushed her quietly, lying back with her. After a few moments he spoke.
'Still having the dreams then?'
She nodded into his chest and he sighed stroking her arm gently. 'Could hear you yelling from the kitchen, you'll end up with no voice left if you keep trying to bring the place down.'
She smiled slightly and he squeezed her closer. 'Jack was going to come down but he figured you wouldn't want to be crowded. He's probably pacing outside you know.'
She sniffed and propped herself up on her arms.
'It's alright, I'm okay now. You can go back to him.'
Ianto looked a little taken aback for a moment then nodded and slid off the bed, closing the door quietly behind him. She waited a few moments but as soon as she heard the doors at the far end of the corridor swing shut her body shuddered with tears.
She scooted back as far as she could, until she hit the wall at the other side of her bed. Then she curled up near the pillow and called Pip over. He curled up at her side and she held onto the pillow so tightly that she was sure she would rip it in two. As she eventually drifted back off to sleep she made a vow to herself. Tomorrow would be different. Tomorrow she would go back to how she had once been. Before Ben, before her mother, before Ianto and even before Gwen. She would go back to the person she was, because she couldn't cope with the person she was becoming. Tomorrow was a new day.
Looking back I think I would have made some very different choices with both these storylines. I may have brought Ben's attack up earlier or never sent Winter to live with her mother. It's all a bit too much melodrama. But hey, drama sells. Re-writing I tried to add a little more believability to them without fundamentally changing the storyline. Partially because I didn't want to change too much because, after all, this wasn't supposed to be me beating myself up about the story writing skills I had at thirteen but more a chance to revise the language. Also, old readers may note that Winter's Alice in Wonderland party is gone. It was cute and I liked certain bits but it felt so wrong to just throw off the angst, so out of character. But it might make it into the out-takes story some time.
['TV-a-holic': Thanks for giving this a go, I know what's it's like I've read some really good ones and some awful ones, I guess you just have to give them a go. I'm glad you like this and I hope you keep reading. The finale is in the works, it's difficult so I hope it's up to scratch.
'Sonotalady': You have every right to be smug :) I've taken a lot of your ideas for the drabbles, they're awesome, if you ever have any more don't hesitate to tell me. They're great. Loving the random fact about Pip, made me laugh. Thanks for the review!
'Rachy Babes': Glad to know you're so enthusiastic. I think this one's a bit longer. I'm still not sure of the end but like I said in the AN it'll get back to normality. Just thought everyone could do with a laugh.]