I Am Here

by MaryRussellgrl

Someone should always be there

Grissom knocked on Catherine's home door waiting impatiently. Catherine opened the door looking out in surprise.

"Grissom?!" She said "What are you doing here?!"

"I came to see Sara. Brass said you brought her home with you."

"You flew all the way for that? I told you I would call."

He came in looking around as she shut the front door.

"I decided to come and see her. Where is she?"

Catherine led him to her spare bedroom opening it. He walked in seeing me lying on my side not facing them. He walked over looking at me seeing the bandage on my head and arm.

"They said she was lucky. She just got a little singed from the blast. They gave her some medication and it knocked her out."

He looked at Catherine as she looked at him.

"Want some coffee?"

"Yes, thank you."

She nodded leaving the room. He looked at me as he stood in silence. He sat on the bed watching me breathe gently looking pale. As his hand touched mine I moved to my back winching as I swallowed. He touched my cheek.

"Catherine?" I called, weakly.

"It's Grissom." He said

I opened my eyes slowly blinking as I looked at him.

"Grissom?"

"How are you feeling?" He asked, looking concerned.

I closed my eyes opening them just a little.

"I…was blown….up."

"Very nearly." He said, rubbing my arm.

I moved my hand to his sleeve.

"Are you leaving?"

"No, I am staying." He said

I looked at him in silence feeling the medication making me feel unfocused. I looked behind him as he watched me. Catherine came in handing him a cup. She stood behind him looking at me as I stared at her.

"How is she doing?" She asked

"I think she is okay." He said

Catherine nodded watching me close my eyes sleeping again.

Grissom brought me home a few hours later. I slowly walked to the bedroom with his help laying down. He covered me up then cleared his throat.

"I'll make you something to eat."

I patted the bed. He sat down touching my hand.

"When do you go back?"

"Not for a while." He said

"I feel guilty." I said

"Sara, you don't have to. This was not your fault."

I nodded watching him stand then leave the room. I looked down at my lap.

Later he laid sleeping beside me in bed. I moved unable to rest. Getting up, I walked into the living room to lie down on the couch watching TV. I kept thinking about how he came all the way back for an accident. He loved me and it made me feel grateful to have him. I wiped a tear from my cheek as I watched the old movie.

Grissom woke the next morning not seeing me beside him. He yawned getting up running a hand through his messy hair as he walked into the living room. I slept on the couch with the TV on. Grissom looked at me then he went into the kitchen to make breakfast.

I moved smelling food. My head throbbed a little as I got up making my way to the kitchen. He was putting food on a plate when he saw me.

"Hey, just in time." He said, putting a plate of eggs, and toast on the counter infront of me. I looked at it then at him. "I didn't poison it."

He put a fork next to it before leaning back against the counter. I slowly started eating as he got some coffee. I set my fork down chewing.

"Something wrong?" He asked

I looked at him wanting to show him how much I loved him for coming. He seemed satisfied with just being the caregiver. He set his cup down looking at me concerned.

"Honey, what's wrong?"

I walked over without a warning and kissed him. He didn't expect it, but he got into it. I felt his arms move over my back. My lips pressed against him as I moved them. He moaned pulling me closer still. I put my hand in his hair tilting my head to get the full kiss. He moved back taking in air as I waited looking into his eyes.

"You should eat." He said

"I love you." I said

He smiled a little touching my face.

"I know you do. When you kiss me like that I can hear you saying it." He said "You need to eat."

"I would rather be with you now."

"Me to, but you need to take care of yourself."

He pushed me away then drank his coffee as I looked at him eating.

We spent the day on the couch relaxing watching TV. I looked at him as he dozed beside me. He seemed much younger when he let his face relax. I moved over gently kissing his cheek. He opened his eyes looking at me.

I moved in kissing him again only as I did before. He pulled me into his lap kissing me just as I did with feeling. It was almost to much to take as I felt him lie me down and come over top of me. I closed my eyes as he moved his lips on my neck. The love he felt for me came out in such a powerful way after that. Even as he showed me it blew his mind as well. After he finished he laid down beside me going to sleep right away. I watched him content wishing he was staying.

I was dressed for work later as he came out again rumpled from sleep the next day. He watched me smile at him as I placed my empty coffee cup in the sink.

"You're going to work?" He asked

"Yeah, I am still on case." I said

"I think Catherine wanted you to rest." He said, getting some coffee.

"Can't." I said

He pulled me to him.

"Sara, just becareful."

I searched his eyes smiling again.

"I was thinking you could stay."

He sighed making my smile disappear.

"Sara, I can't right now."

"Why not?"

"We have been over this. My life is doing lectures, not working here. I am done with that phase and now this new phase has begun."

"Are you done with me?"

"I will never leave you."

"I want you to stay."

"You know I can't."

I moved away from him looking down sad. He watched me walk out to leave. I felt depressed as shift began. Catherine gave me a lecture about working, but I just waved her off.

When I got home he was on the couch with a folder opened on the coffee table with papers scattered around it. He waved at me as he talked on his cell phone. I waved back going into the bedroom.

"Yes, I can do that. A dig is just what I want to do." He said, walking into the bedroom seeing me changing. "I'll be coming back in a week."

As he said that I looked at him. He walked over nodding as he listened to the person talking.

"Okay, that sounds great! Thank you so much, bye." He said, before hanging up.

"Who was that?" I asked

"An old friend of mine. He is taking me on a dig when I get back in Peru." He said

"Great." I said, walking past him to the living room.

"How was work?"

"Lonely." I said, moving around.

"I see." He said

I looked at him as I walked a past him to go the kitchen. He followed as I put a pan on the stove. He pulled me against him holding my arms behind me.

"Talk to me."

"There is nothing to talk about." I said, looking to the side.

"Why don't we talk about why you are acting pouty?"

I looked at him then down at his shirt.

"You say you are staying for a while then you leave. What kind of visit is that?"

"Sara, you have me right now. For a week I am yours." He said, smiling.

"I have work and then what? I go to bed and you go to bed. Where is the time?"

He sighed as I looked to the side again.

"I'm sorry, but this is a big dream I have had for a long time."

I nodded as he looked at me.

"I love you so much." He said.

I looked at him then I hugged him against me. He let me go as I watched him leave the kitchen. I felt lonely all over again knowing he was leaving.

After shift the next night Grissom agreed to meet the gang for dinner. I watched him as he ate then talked to Warrick and Nick as Greg and Catherine talked beside them. Grissom seemed animated and alert as he talked. He smiled as Warrick said something funny. I ate then I watched him again. Grissom looked at me as I put my lips against his arm.

I looked at him with large brown eyes. He looked at my plate then at me.

"You okay?" He asked

I nodded looking at his lips then his eyes. He knew what I was thinking.

"Hey Sara!" Greg called

I blinked looking over at him.

"We are going to a place down the street for a drink. Want to come?"

I opened my mouth to answer then I looked at Grissom.

"I…."

"Come on." Nick said, smiling.

I looked at him as Grissom cleared his throat.

"You should go, Sara."

"What?" I said, looking at him.

"I said, you should go." He said "Let off some steam."

He watched me stare at him as if I could not believe he said that.

"She will go." Grissom said

"Yes!" Greg said

I still sat there in amazement at the man I married who had been dead set against me having anything that had booze in it. We all got up to go and I told them I would be a moment. Grissom put on his sun glasses as he looked around then he looked at me.

I shook my head looking at him pulling him to our car.

"Who are you?" I asked

"What do you mean?" He asked

"You are not the Grissom that I married who is against me drinking."

He gave me a look.

"I am against you drinking, but I think you should go and have some fun." He said

"I can't believe you. It's like you want to get rid of me." I said

He touched my cheeks searching my eyes. I closed my eyes as he kissed me slowly.

Catherine made a sound causing us to look at her then we looked at each other.

"Go with them and have fun."

I nodded watching him walk back to see Catherine at the curb. He watched me go with the guys then he looked at her.

"You wanted to talk?" She asked

"Yes, I did."

We went our separate ways a few hours later. I stumbled up the stairs to the house seeing the door come open and Grissom stand waiting.

"Need help?" He asked

I stood up wavering as I clutched the rail making my way up to him.

"You had a good time I trust." He said, helping me inside.

I leaned against him as he pushed the door shut looking at me.

"I had a….wonderful time!" I said

He smiled faintly as I giggled.

"Good to hear."

I let my fingers spread on his tee shirt touching it.

"I like this." I said

"What?"

"What?" I asked

He chuckled as I smiled.

"I think we both need to go bed."

"No, that's not what I want!" I said

He took my hand leading me away. We entered the bedroom and he began unbuttoning my coat. I put my hands on his shirt again. He laid my coat down then he helped me take my shirt off. I felt him push me back onto the bed and lean over to undo my pants. I sat up putting my hand on his neck kissing him. He moved back getting out of my grasp as he pulled my pants off me. I watched him walk around the room then come back with pajamas.

"Sit up." He said

"Make me." I said, smiling.

He looked at me in silence.

"Sara, you are drunk."

I sat up touching his waist.

"I am also ready for you to….." I said, stopping as I felt him take my hands away from his body.

"Not tonight."

He put the tank top over my head then he knelt down putting my pants on me. I laid back as he stood looking at me.

"Okay, your all set." He said

"What are you waiting for?" I asked

"Sara."

"Don't you want to….take advantage of me?"

"I remember the real reason I banned you for alcohol. You tend to get like this."

I smiled lifting myself up as I looked up at him.

"Like what?"

He stepped back shaking his head.

"Doctor Grissom…isn't there….something in you that is saying take her?"

"Yes, but it is canceled out by the sane voice."

I stood almost falling back. He came forward stopping as I stood up walking over to him.

"Why don't you…. forget about the boy scout voice and listen to the naughty voice?" I said, before kissing him. He kissed me back touching my waist. I moaned slowly as he deepened the kiss moving slowly driving me crazy. I whimpered as he moved back looking at me. I let my tongue travel along my mouth as I looked at his mouth.

"I can't do this." He said

"You…just need to…coaxing." I said, reaching for his pants. He put his hand over mine.

"Sara, no."

He made me let him go then he walked out of the room. I looked at the doorway in my drunken haze feeling angry. He went to the kitchen to make coffee as I walked in gripping the counter.

"You are an…idiot!" I said, pointing a finger at him.

He looked at me after he turned the maker on.

"Sara, I am not an idiot and as soon as you are sober you will agree with me."

"No I won't!"

He sighed crossing his arms over his chest leaning against the counter.

"Honey, I love you, but this is not going to happen."

I sighed staring at him.

"Now I am making some coffee then we are going to bed."

"I am not….going to bed!"

"Yes, you are."

"No, I am not!" I yelled, glaring at him. He watched me leave the kitchen stomping my feet. He shook his head looking down.

Minutes later he came out holding a cup of hot coffee. He went to the living room finding me sleeping on the couch.

"Sara?" He said, as he walked over. I gently snored on my stomach against the cushions. My hair covered my face as my legs hung over the side. Grissom moved my hair putting down the cup on the coffee table. He picked me up against him looking at me. He laid me in bed moving my hair as started thinking.

"Sara, what am I going to do with you?" He asked, quietly.

He sighed walking to the other side getting in looking at me. When he woke the next day he noticed I was still sleeping next to him. I laid on my stomach with my head facing him snoring. He smiled moving over touching my head.

"Sara?" He called "Sara?"

I moved winching as I came back to reality. I squinted at him then I closed my eyes taking the pillow I had my head on putting it over my head. Grissom lifted it looking at me and I groaned pulling it down again. He watched me hiding then he got up moving around. I thought that he finally left the room, but instead he sat on my side pulling the blankets and pillow off me. I cried out regretting the action. He watched me lie still. His hand came to my back rubbing it.

"Come on Sara."

"Leave me alone!" I said

"Come on, time to get up."

I groaned again. He grew impatient as he moved me then sat me up. I held my head in my hands as he watched.

"You have learned your lesson." He said

"I want to die."

"I can imagine."

I lifted my head looking at him.

"Grissom, I don't remember what happened when I got home, but I feel like I did something bad."

"No, you did nothing bad." He said

"Good." I said

"Except you were really turned on." He said

I looked at him.

"Turned on?"

"Yes, you really liked me."

I sat back against the headboard looking at him.

"Did I, did we?"

"No, I wouldn't let you."

"I'm sorry." I said, taking his hand.

"Sara, we are married. You don't have to apologize. I found you to be very attractive, but I was not about to take advantage of you in the state you were in."

I took his hand in mine.

"Now, before you go to work let me fix you some food."

"I don't think I can eat."

"You will eat." He said, getting up leaving.

I watched him go then I sat there thinking. I went to work feeling lousy. I was determined to make Grissom stay in town.

I went out on a solo scene at a house. Brass stayed longer than usual watching out for me. I knew that Grissom had called him to make sure I was okay. I walked out at one point taking in some fresh air seeing him on his cell phone in the yard. He hung up walking over to me.

"How's it going in there?" He asked, looking over my shoulder at the inside.

"It's a mess, but nothing I can't handle. So did Grissom tell you when to leave yet?"

He looked at me then he smiled.

"I suppose the cats out of the bag."

"I didn't know he had this much power."

"He and I go back."

"Well you can go. I am fine." I said

"If your sure you'll be okay. I need to go to the station."

"Go on." I said

He smiled again walking down the walkway to his car. I watched him go then I went back inside. I drove back to the lab bringing my evidence in seeing Greg running over to me.

"Sara, I just heard some news!"

"What is it?" I asked, walking.

"Grissom is coming back!"

I stopped ignoring the heavy evidence bags to look at him.

"What?"

"Grissom is coming back!" He said, smiling.

"He's not coming back."

"Yes, he is!"

"Where did you hear this?"

"Catherine."

I stared at him watching as he jumped up and down excited.

"I'll see you later."

I walked down the hallway again wondering what was really going on. Catherine walked down the hallway seeing me walking towards her.

"Is he coming back?" I asked

"Who?" She asked, stopping.

"You know who." I said

"Who told you?"

"Is it true?" I asked

She sighed looking at me.

"He has been talking about it. I don't know if he is or not."

I nodded walking away. Grissom heard the front door closing as he worked from the desk in the living room. I walked in staring at him. He looked at me.

"Hello dear."

I walked over eyeing him as he typed. He stopped turning in his chair to look at me. I crossed my arms over my chest.

"What's wrong? Are you still feeling sick?" He asked, touching my arm.

"Are you coming back to the lab?"

He looked back at the computer than at me.

"Are you?" I asked

"Who told you that?"

"I want to know."

"Sara, I am only thinking about it."

"When?"

"I don't know, after the dig."

"I see." I said, walking away. He got up following me into the bedroom.

"Sara, I was going to tell you."

"When?" I asked, as I took off my shirt.

"When I knew for sure." He said

"So we are back to before when you would make decisions without talking to me."

"I was going to talk to you."

I put a tee shirt on then walked over to him.

"Honey, I haven't even made up my mind yet."

"You could have told me."

"I know, I am sorry."

He searched my eyes rubbing my arms. I leaned in hugging him as he did me.

On the last day he was to be with me I called in sick laying bed watching him pack. He walked around coming back to the bed where his suit case laid on his side open.

"I won't be able to phone you at the dig so don't get into trouble." He said

"I won't." I said

He watched me get up walking over to him. I pulled him to me kissing him. He moved back putting his arms around my middle.

"Becareful." I said

"I will."

I let him go looking at him sad that he was leaving. By morning the house seemed empty. I went to work lonely again. The assignments became heavy and it was very tiring. None of us got much sleep. On the way home a few weeks later the phone went off again.

I stopped on the side of the road to answer.

"Sidle." I said, yawning.

"Sara, can you come back?" Catherine asked

I rubbed my head.

"I just got off after working three days."

"I know, but there is no one else."

"All right." I said

I turned around making my way back to the lab. Catherine walked with me to the park as it began to rain. We quickly worked the scene. I sneezed loudly as I walked to the car to put evidence inside. Catherine and I finished and then drove back to the lab. I shook from the cold as Catherine turned the heat up.

"We can drop these off then go home."

"Good." I said

I went home shaking and exhausted. I laid in bed not aware of anything. My phone rang many hours later. I didn't move as I slept. The phone rang again and again. When I did wake I felt so hot. I moved the blankets off me and reached for the ringing cell phone beside me.

"Sidle." I said, weakly.

"Sara, where have you been?!" Catherine asked

"What time is it?" I asked

"I have been trying to get hold of you for hours!"

"Oh." I said, before coughing.

"Are you sick?"

"Yeah."

"Then stay home, but next time answer the phone!"

I hung up the phone then I laid back. I shook as I laid in bed. Sleeping and then waking wanting water. I tried to get up only to fall to the floor and crawl. Finally, I gave up and just laid on the floor. What seemed like hours I felt someone in the room. They knelt down touching my back talking to me. I was picked up in someone's arms seeing Grissom holding me.

"Gris?" I said "Gris?"

He didn't talk as he walked with me to the bed setting me down. I felt someone lifting me up putting water down my throat. I choked lying back down taking a breath. A cold cloth was put on my head. I coughed moving.

"Grissom." I called, weakly.

"Ssh." Someone said

"Grissom."

I woke up again at night opening my eyes seeing a lamp light on next to my bed. Blinking I saw someone come over and sit down on the bed looking at me. Their hand came to my head then the cool cloth returned.

I coughed then laid still closing my eyes at the feel of the cold cloth. The person lifted my hand up wiping it with the cloth then my other. I opened my eyes again seeing Catherine sitting on the bed.

"Welcome back." She said

"Where is Grissom?" I asked

"He's in Peru." She said "Warrick and I found you on the floor."

"I thought….he was Grissom." I said, closing my eyes.

"You kept calling his name." She said, standing fixing my blankets. "You have been delirious. I tried to get hold of him yesterday, but he can't be reached."

"Yesterday?"

She nodded looking at me.

"We found you three days ago."

I looked at her feeling shocked.

"I'll get you some soup."

I watched her leave then I looked at the ceiling. She came back in with a bowl and fed me a little. Catherine checked on me later seeing I was sleeping. She heard a knock at the door and went to answer it. Greg came in with a bag looking around.

"She's still sleeping. Her fevers down right now, if anything changes call me."

"Okay." Greg said

After she left he walked into my bedroom seeing me sleeping. He walked out to the living room plopping down on the couch turning on the TV.

I moved hearing the TV on. A phone rang and then I heard a voice. Greg got up opening the door to the bedroom looking in at me. He then stepped out talking. I moved seeing him come back in walking over touching my head.

"Greg?" I said

"She's still warm, but it's not hot." He said "Okay."

He hung up touching my head again.

"Hey, how are you feeling?"

"How do I look?" I asked

He didn't answer.

"How are you feeling?"

I swallowed shaking my head.

"I feel like I am dying."

"If you didn't I would be surprised." He said

He got up leaving the room. Catherine came over again a later seeing Greg eating Cheetos coming out of the kitchen.

"Well?" She asked

"Her tempeture is the same. I gave her water and then food. She threw them both up."

Catherine sighed walking over to the bedroom. I moved in bed moaning a little. She walked over looking at me. I stopped moving as I laid on my side. She touched my head as Greg came in.

"Greg, can you carry her to the car?"

"Yes, I guess so, what's wrong?"

"Her fever is high." She said, looking at him. "To high."

"Will you get in touch with Grissom?"

"I can't." She said, taking the blankets off me. I shook opening my eyes looking at her. She motioned him to carry me. I felt him pick me up with no effort then they walked out to the car outside. Greg held me in the back as Catherine drove.

Catherine paced outside of the hospital with her phone to her ear trying to call Grissom. Sighing she tried again. She stopped when she heard someone pick up.

"Grissom."

"Why do you go someplace where you can't use your phone?!" She yelled

"Catherine?"

"Of course it's Catherine!"

"What's wrong?"

She sighed rubbing her head.

"First of all Sara is in the hospital!"

"What?!"

"Yeah, she's been in here for hours. They said they need to talk to you."

Grissom was silent for a moment.

"She's sick….very sick."

"For how long?"

"A week and a half I think. Can you come?"

"Yes….I'll be on the next flight."

She hung up relieved.

Grissom arrived coming into the hospital. He walked past people and went to the main desk. A doctor walked out seeing him.

"How is she?" Grissom asked, as they walked down a hallway.

"She has pneumonia." The man said "Your friends told me you were out of the country. I think they would have been well advised to bring your wife when this all started. We are giving her antibiotics and so far, she has improved."

"Good." Grissom said

"I'll leave you alone with her." The doctor said, opening the door for him.

Grissom walked in to the room seeing me lying in bed with a white complexion. He walked over reaching down for my hand.

"Sara, it's Grissom." He said, gently. "I was told you were slacking off."

He smiled a little then he looked down at my limp hand in his.

"You have to fight this, Honey."

He looked at me worried then he sat down beside the bed watching me. Sometime later as he dozed in his chair I moved. I looked over seeing him sitting beside the bed. He moved lifting his head blinking then he looked over at me.

"Sara?"

He stood touching my hand. He leaned over kissing my head.

"I'm here." He said

I felt a tear go down my cheek as he looked at me.