Katniss walked home in a daze. Her meeting with Gale had certainly not gone they way she planned.
She entered her house, thankful to be alone. She drew herself a hot bath in the tub, got in, and pulled her knees up to her chest. She rested her head on her knees and began to cry. Soon she was sobbing uncontrollably, her tears dropping onto her legs and down into the bathwater.
She was so confused. Gale had just dropped the bombshell on her that he loved her. Part of her honestly did love him as well. She realized that if reaping day had gone differently, if any other girl's name had been called besides Prim's, Gale probably would be her lover right now, not Peeta.
She was so angry that Gale had never told her. She felt stupid for not seeing it. And now, it was too late to do anything about it. So Gale was living with the repercussions of his decision to keep his feelings to himself, and it was killing him to see her in love with another man. Now that Katniss understood his torment, her heart was breaking for him. It certainly explained why he'd been such a moody jerk lately.
She wondered where Gale was right now, what he was doing.
She needed to stop thinking about him, because there was nothing she could do. Nor anything she wanted to do.
She felt horribly guilty about the kiss with Gale. Even though it was only for a moment, even though she hadn't initiated it, and even though she ended it, she still felt guilty.
Her head was aching from crying and from trying to wrap her brain around the whole situation. She got out of the tub and dried herself off. She needed to pull herself together before Peeta came over. She never wanted him to know any of this. It would just hurt his feelings, and that would make her feel even worse.
She took a deep breath to help settle her nerves. At least Gale would still always be her best friend, right? So she supposed she was lucky, in a way. She had two amazing men in her life that she couldn't live without. A friend, and a fiance. She was just going to have to somehow make this arrangement work.
That settles it, Katniss thought. Gale had made his decision, and she had made hers.