[Well that chapter seemed to hit a nerve. Hopefully this one will be as … pleasing isn't really the right word for that last one… oh well, something good anyway. Basically, I hope you like it and I hope I did it justice.]
A generation drenched in hate.
Says, he has been here.
And I see no bravery,
No bravery in your eyes anymore.
Only sadness.
James Blunt - No Bravery
Day 5
He ran a hand over her cheek and lowered his head in shame.
Wait a minute, she was warm. Jack's hand slid down to her neck and he let out a choked cry of shock. Gwen appeared at his side as he lay his head on Winter's chest.
'It's beating.' He looked up at Gwen with wide eyes and back at Winter. 'It's beating,' he repeated.
He ducked his head down and blew one long breath of air into her lungs then put his ear back to her mouth to hear the sharp intake of breath. With a cough that belonged on an eighty-year-old, heavy smoker she rolled over and grasped at Jack's coat, struggling to pull air into her lungs.
'Oh god, oh! It's alright,' Gwen soothed, pulling her off Jack and sitting her up.
Her eyes stared, heavy lidded, back at them as she continued to cough. Speaking was out of the question and Gwen hurried off to get some water. Jack sat next to her just staring. He didn't touch her, didn't reach out to comfort her when she almost collapsed back onto the floor.
When Gwen returned with the water they were sat apart and she eyed them both. 'There you go.'
Winter snatched the water and drained the glass.
'How?' Jack croaked.
She rubbed her eyes and shrugged. 'TARDIS.' Her voice was low and gravelly.
'There's no way…' Gwen started.
'You were dead,' Jack told her. 'You were one-hundred per cent dead. That poison. It should have ripped your lungs apart.'
Winter looked up at him through her lashes, warily. She knew where he was going with this.
'They tried to bring you back and they couldn't. You…you're…'
'I don't know.' She stopped to cough again before continuing. 'I don't know. I don't think I'm like…'
'Me,' Jack finished.
She took in one long shaky breath and opened her eyes fully, turning to look at him but caught sight of the space behind him. Gwen and Jack were silent as she let that breath back out like she'd been kicked in the gut and snapped her head around, choosing to stare straight ahead rather than to turn around. She opened her mouth as if to speak but hung her head forward.
Jack sat back on the floor near her feet and Winter rolled onto her knees and shuffled over to Ianto. Gwen shifted back near Jack and gripped his hand tightly as they watched Winter gaze lovingly at Ianto's pale face. She sniffed and leant down, resting her forehead on his for a moment. Her shoulders shook and she thought back to the TARDIS, to the gift that just kept bringing her back and realised just why Jack treated it so carelessly. What was a little pain to keep them with you? The ones you love.
Ianto's first death had brought her this gift and now it would see her outlive him. They would never dance together, never hug or flirt or joke, he'd never be at her wedding - if she ever even had one now. God, if he'd have asked she would have said yes in a heartbeat. Now she'd never even get the chance to hear him tell her he... she sniffed again and pressed and hand to her forehead, she couldn't sit here for much longer. If she did she knew she would simply never get up again. So she brushed her lips over his and whispered, 'Rydych wedi gwneud fy mywyd yn werth chweil.' A final last goodbye.
Both Gwen and Jack watched as she got up, turned away and walked across the room, stumbling slightly from a mixture of the process of coming back to herself and the sight of a hall full of covered bodies.
They found her a few minutes later, sat at the café with a large bottle of water. They sat at her sides and Jack glanced at her every few minutes as he ran over the possibilities in his mind. The thoughts that she must be having, what it all meant in the future. She played with the lid taking a swig every few moments. Silently, what was left of TORCHWOOD waited for news.
TTT
Winter only looked up when Gwen spoke and realized that the politician Frobisher and his secretary, the older one with the blonde hair, had sat down at their table.
'The threat still stands.'
'Haven't we gone past that…' Frobisher sighed.
'My husband is still out there with everything you've done recorded on his laptop. One word from me and he will release that information to the public.'
'What do you think Torchwood is now? Do you think you're still players?'
'We can try.'
'We're at a tipping point right now. Civilization's about to fall into hell. You want to start that descent a little earlier, go ahead.'
'He's right. Look what happened. Phone Rhys. Tell him we've lost,' Gwen looked up at Jack but Winter had been expecting it. Gwen got up from the table to phone Rhys and Winter went back to staring at the bottle lid. 'What about Lois?' Jack asked.
'I'm afraid Miss Habiba is in police custody, charged with espionage.'
'Then what about my daughter and, and her son?'
'They're free to go.'
Jack swallowed and took a breath before going on. 'Ianto Jones, he's got family back in South Wales, a sister. Has she been told?'
'We're not releasing any of the names, not yet.'
'Then let Gwen tell her. You said yourself, the world is going to hell any second. Before it does... give us a moment of grace. Just take Gwen home, please.'
Frobisher looked up at Gwen who was sitting with her back to a wall, her knees drawn up and her head fallen forward as she cried.
'I can't look at her anymore.'
A thought struck Winter and she looked up. 'Take me too.'
Jack looked over shocked. Obviously he'd been expecting a fight.
'There's somewhere I need to be.'
Jack nodded in understanding and Winter got up, walking over to Gwen. She knelt down at her side and took her hand. Winter had been through this already. She'd spent months believing they were all dead. Now there was still a sharp pain in her heart but she knew how to deal with it. She would cry when this was all over. When they were all back where they belonged. When the kids in Andrew house were safe.
TTT
Lucy and Pip met her at the helipad, she eyed Jack and got onto the helicopter silently, not commenting on the missing team member. Jack let Gwen go and pulled Winter into a hug. 'Try and keep safe,' he whispered in her ear.
She nodded and pulled back, about to turn when she had a thought. 'Jack.'
He looked down at her questioningly.
'Whatever happens,' she sighed. 'I forgive you.'
He looked like he was going to cry so she pulled him into another hug and then raced across the platform after Rhys, Gwen and the Pilot. She buckled in and looked out of the window as one of the soldiers flanking Jack proceeded to handcuff him. He offered no resistance looking completely devastated.
Pip crawled onto her lap and she pulled him up to her face taking a long sniff of his fur, comforting, warm and still a little soapy. Jack could look after himself for now and she had work to do.
'Lucy,' she whispered. 'I need you to text someone at Andrew house. Tell them to take everyone downstairs and pull the old television away from the wall. Give them the code ten, one, three, eleven. Tell them to stay in there and keep everyone as quiet as possible.'
Lucy looked confused but did as she was told and Winter leant back, willing the ride to be over.
PC Andy was waiting for them in Cardiff. 'Croeso I Cymru.' He smiled at them.
Gwen rushed over to hug him and they headed over to a police car. Lucy made to get in, looking rather uncomfortable about the prospect but Winter pulled her back. Gwen looked up confused.
'We're not coming.' Winter told her.
Gwen got out of the car to face her. 'Why not?'
'I have something to do. It's why I came back. I have to…' she paused looking over at Andy.
'You can trust him.' Gwen assured her.
'Normally I would but, not today, I have to go. Just do me a favour.'
Gwen nodded sadly. 'Ianto's sister, Rhiannon. She has kids. I promised myself I'd look after them but I can't be in two places at once.'
Gwen nodded. 'I'll keep them safe.'
'I'll meet you there as soon as I can.' Winter told her. 'Good luck, Gwen.' Uncharacteristically she eant forward and wrapped Gwen in a hug. 'Stay safe.'
'You too.'
Winter nodded and then pulled Lucy away.
TTT
The road to Andrew house was empty. They ran as fast as they could through the streets and up the hill towards the alleyway. Lucy was just a bit faster and suddenly stopped pulling Winter back against the buildings. They inched closer and peeked out at a large group of soldiers driving away from the area. Winter boosted Lucy up and then, with some help, climbed onto the roof herself. They got down into the alley without anyone noticing but Winter stopped. She edged closer towards the soldiers and listened to them driving off. One car was left with a total of five men, they were leaving. She smiled and turned away from the alley.
'Wait a second guys.'
She stopped, listening intently.
'Where are we?'
A second soldier yelled the location and the first one laughed. 'My cousin, he's a builder, did some work on this road, turning a warehouse into a children's home, half way house kind of thing. Kids that won't be missed, see. It's few less families torn apart and rubbish off the street.'
Winter's eyes widened in panic and rage and she turned, bolting into the house after Lucy. She raced down the narrow flight of stairs and heaved the heavy TV away from the wall before punching the code in. A section of the wall rolled back revealing another living room with a few beds in the corner. A panic room. The room erupted into cries of happiness before she could shush them. They were suddenly quiet and she heard a door burst open. They had been heard. She cursed and threw Pip to Lucy, pulling books off a shelf and heaving the hidden draw behind it open.
From the draw she produced a Torchwood issue gun and then pointed at the draw. 'No one touches that draw under the age of seventeen and only if someone gets in. Whatever you hear you stay inside, don't open the door unless I call. You got that. Code word to open the door is…Ianto.' The only word she could think of.
She dived back through the door and it shut behind her. Just as the door to the cellar burst open. She pulled her sword from her belt and widened her stance. Andy had been taken from her, Toshiko had been taken from her, Owen had been taken from her and now Ianto had been taken from her.
'No more,' she whispered.
Anger coursed through her body and she buried her sword in the first soldier's chest, pulling it out. There were five of them but she had the advantage, they were in a narrow staircase, they had to fight her one by one.
TTT
Her sword fell to the floor making a clattering sound. Piled at the foot of the stairs were the bodies of five young men. They weren't soldiers any more. They were five young men just following orders, blackmailed into following orders. If they hadn't helped their children would be forfeit. What about their families. Their brothers and sisters. She climbed over them, walking up the stairs and into the sunlight, needed a few seconds of fresh air and to check that no one was following them or waiting for them.
Her phone suddenly rang and she jumped looking down at it. Jack.
'Are you alright?' his voice demanded her.
She nodded but realized he couldn't see and answered in the affirmative.
'It's over,' he sighed, sounding tired and upset.
'Are you coming back?' She asked timidly.
'I'll meet you at Ianto's sister's.' He hung up.
So, it was over. Another thirty minutes and those men didn't have to die. She buckled over and screamed into her hand, punching the wall until her hands bled.
Eventually she collapsed against the wall, looking back at the doorway to the building. She stared at it for a while, knowing what was waiting for her inside and took a deep breath. Wiping her brow she descended into the basement again and looked at the hellish sight in front of her, then to the secret entrance. She had to get rid of the bodies. She couldn't let them see this.
With all her strength and a bit of help from a skate-board at the top of the stairs she dragged each young man with their gaunt, slack expressions, one by one, out into the alleyway. She opened the covering to a man hole and pushed them down into the sewers, listening to the wet thud and crack as they hit the bottom. The weevils would finish them off.
Tears streaked down her face as she grabbed towels from the airing cupboard and wiped the blood trail from the floor of the cellar with bleach. Those men's families would never know. Five boys who would just disappear. She wiped as much of the blood from her skin as she could in the bathroom and grabbed a large coat from the bottom of the stairs by the door. It covered her blood-spattered clothes well enough so she gathered up the towels and threw them into the man hole where growls were already beginning to echo before covering it up again and dragging a large bin over the top so none of the kids would investigate.
She retrieved her phone from the alley floor where she'd dropped it after Jack's call and called Lucy's mobile.
'Hello?' a nervous voice answered.
'It's alright you can come out. Code word: Ianto. Go back to your normal lives. I have somewhere to be.'
She hung up and headed out of the alley, seeing the empty army car she got inside, it would only look suspicious at the side of the road anyway. Seconds later Pip bounded into the car beside her. He sniffed the air and wrinkled his nose. She knew he hated the smell of bleach. She started the car and drove off quickly before anyone else could come out to join her.
TTT
Rhiannon's house was sullen. She entered through the front door to find her husband and kids seated around her as Gwen and Rhys stood uncomfortably at the side. Gwen smiled when she saw her but there was something different about this Winter. Rhiannon looked up. She choked out a few garbled words and then flung herself across the room into Winter's arms. 'He's gone!' she sobbed. 'My brother's gone!'
Winter let a few tears slip down her cheek but pushed the rest back. She'd seen this before, only that was long ago when it was her brother dead.
She stayed in Rhiannon's house, never taking the coat off despite the warmth. When it got late she helped her put the kids to bed and promised to stay in touch with the family. Rhiannon had always liked her. Ianto had said she thought she was his girlfriend the first time he'd brought her along. It took a very frank and slightly embarrassing discussion to rid her of that idea.
Gwen and Rhys left the house at the same time she did, adding a final condolence before stepping out into the night.
'You knew him, better than all of us, didn't you?' Gwen commented suddenly.
Winter looked over sadly and shrugged. 'Even Jack didn't know about his dad. Don't feel bad.' she said it a little harsher than planned but didn't have the energy to correct herself. Heading instead, across to the army car with Pip still inside.
'Where the bloody hell did you get that from?' Rhys gaped at the car wide eyed.
Winter frowned sadly and fingered the sword strapped to her side.
'That's what I was about to ask.'
They all turned around and watched as Jack crossed the street to meet them. Gwen grinned and threw her arms around the Captain, Rhys shook his hand smiling, all tension between the two dissipated.
Finally, Jack turned to Winter but he stopped a few feet away. She couldn't look at him. She just couldn't look him in the eye without breaking down. Everything was welling up in her heart, the loss of her friends, the fear for the children, her sadness, the anger she'd felt as she murdered those men, their cries, the squelching sound, the blood on her hands, the smell of bleach. God, she murdered five men.
She hadn't realised Jack as he moved to stand with her. Hadn't heard him say her name. She flinched when he reached for her and tried to cross her arms over her chest but he caught her wrists and gently plied them apart.
Jack noticed the smell first, the slight smear of blood in her hairline. When she tried to cross her arms he saw the ragged state of her knuckles like she'd dragged them over stone. He didn't speak again. Hands sliding to her waist, slowly so as not to startle her. She looked like she wanted to pull back but was rooted to the spot. A deer in headlights. He pulled the belt of her coat open.
'Oh, does he have to?' Rhys whispered to Gwen, who shushed him and stepped forwards holding her hand out for her husband to stay. Winter kept her eyes on the floor as Jack opened the front of the coat and took in a deep breath.
'That's not yours.'
Rhys suddenly looked serious as Jack spoke, and Gwen's eyes were wide. The dark rusty blood stains stood out on her top and Jack looked over at the army car again.
'They came to take the children,' she whispered, her voice was dead.
Understanding flashed in Jack's eyes and he put hand on her shoulder. The contact broke her blank look and she started shaking. 'I had no choice. You have to believe me, I had no choice. Fuck, I killed them. God, I killed them all. I'm sorry. Please don't, please...'
He dropped the sides of the coat and pulled her into a hug. 'Shh, I believe you. I believe you. It wasn't your fault.'
She finally broke down in his arms. Gwen looked up to the sky and closed her eyes. Rhys pulled her back to him and she leant heavily on his strength for a moment.
Eventually Jack managed to wrap Winter in his coat and fold her into the car, holding her tightly all the way back to Gwen's home where he helped her wash the blood away. Gwen leant Winter some pyjamas and promised to fetch her some of her clothes tomorrow and then disappeared into the bedroom with Rhys.
Peregrine curled up on the floor, his tail wrapped around the leg of the coffee table. Jack lay down on the sofa and without a word she curled up beside him. Knowing that in the morning, he'd be gone.
TTT
Six months passed and Winter and Pip helped Gwen to the top of the hill, Rhys stood behind her promising to catch her if she fell backwards. The two women laughed but with Winter it was a hollow affair. She knew what was about to happen. Ianto's funeral had been and gone. Jack had gone travelling, only called every few months, but now he'd called them to the middle of nowhere for a chat.
She didn't think so. So, she'd washed her hair, put on Ianto's old beads, strapped her sword to her side, Fawks' bow to her back, and packed the Captain's hat and a few choice possessions from her lock up.
Jack stood at the top of the hill. The same as ever.
'Couldn't have just chosen a pub, could you?' Gwen joked.
Jack turned around as Rhys pulled his coat further around his chest.
'It's bloody freezing. My feet.'
Jack laughed. 'Oh, I missed that, the Welsh complaining. You look good.'
'I look huge,' Gwen replied.
'She's bloody gorgeous.' Rhys corrected and Jack smiled as Gwen approached him.
'You OK?'
'Yeah.' She touched his collar as if to neaten it.
'Did it work?'
'Travelled all sorts of places,' he replied. 'This planet is too small. The whole world is like a graveyard.'
'Come back with us,' Gwen pleaded.
'Haven't travelled far enough yet. Got a lot of dirt to shake off my shoes and right now, there's a cold-fusion cruiser surfing the ion reefs just at the edge of the solar system, just waiting to open its transport dock.' As he spoke, he looked up, and a light winked in the sky high above. Then he returned his gaze to Gwen.
'I just need to send a signal.'
Gwen held up a finger. 'One second'. She dug in her pocket and produced Jack's wrist strap.
He grinned at her and reached for it.
'They found it in the wreckage. Indestructible. Like its owner.' She gave it to him, and he placed it on his wrist. 'I, eh, put on a new strap for you.'
'Cost me fifty quid, that,' Rhys complained.
Winter laughed as Jack shot back. 'Bill me!'
'Are you ever coming back, Jack?' Gwen asked ignoring them both.
'What for?'
'Me,' she replied. 'It wasn't your fault.'
'I think it was.'
'No.'
Jack shook his head at her. 'Steven and Ianto and Owen and Tosh and Suzie and... All of them. Because of me.'
'But you, you saved us. Didn't you?'
'I began to like it and look what I became. Still. I have lived so many lives. It's time to find another one.' He stepped back from Gwen and lifted his wrist strap
'Wait!' Winter pushed past Rhys and stood in front of Jack, Pip settled on her shoulder. 'I'm coming too.'
He shook his head. 'No Nemo. You have a life, here. I'm not taking you away from that.'
She looked back blankly. 'What life is that Jack?'
He looked confused.
'While you were off gallivanting across the world I stayed here remember. I got up, went to look for a job, found one, hated it, got fired, found another, hated it, quit. I can't even go back to Andrew house anymore because all I can see is blood. You're not the only one who this affected. I haven't got anything Jack, a family, a home, a job.'
'I thought you were staying with Gwen and Rhys.'
They shifted awkwardly and Gwen squeezed Rhys' hand.
'How long's that going to last? Open your eyes Jack. Gwen's not carrying a pillow under there. They don't need extra strain on their tempers and bank accounts. Besides, you told me once that you needed me. Well, I need you too. Therefore, you are stuck with me, whether you like it or not.'
Jack looked at her seemingly judging her decision but sighed and held out his arm. She grinned and grabbed hold of it, turning to look back at Gwen and Rhys as Jack fiddled with the manipulator. A beeping noise filled the air and Winter saw the world begin to shimmer, she pulled Pip into her arms and held on tightly. Gwen shook her head in disbelief.
'Th-they died, and I am sorry, Jack, but you cannot just run away. You cannot run away.'
'Oh, yes, I can,' he replied. 'Just watch me.'
She felt a tugging sensation across her body and held tighter to Jack's arm. This was it. She was leaving the earth behind.
Translation:
Rydych wedi gwneud fy mywyd yn werth chweil – You made my life worthwhile
Alright, so some of you guessed that Winter would leave with Jack and yes there will be another chapter. I wasn't really going to split them up was I?…Was I?
'Zaziness': HUGS ALL ROUND! I'm glad the dread thing worked out because that's what I was aiming for. Nice to know I hit the nail on the head yes you're right it was the doctor he doesn't really come into the chapter at all but I'm glad you picked it up because if it had been part of the actuall show you just would have been able to see his voice and see him putting the oxygen mask over her face. It's much harder when you're writing because Winter's so out of it that she doesn't make the connection as easily.
'Rachy Babes': Oh dear. I think I'd really rather that you didn't kill me so I'll put this chapter up as soon as humanly possible! I think Conan Doyle showed the world that it is almost impossible to kill of one's own characters. He chucked Sherlock Holmes over a waterfall for Christ's sake and still brought him back. If I'd have saved Ianto then not only would Jack have not been able to sacrifice his own grandson but Winter wouldn't be able to do what she is going to do in this chapter and the future of this story would be completely changed. Also Winter would end up unhappy. Is that what you want? No? Well then. Trust my genius!
'Sonotalady': Yey! Tears! Well… from my point of view I guess that's good because it means I got the writing right. However I'm sorry I made you cry. *hold out handkerchief* I love St Trinians! Especially the second one… simply because David Tennant's in it. I quite like the old series too, theres something sweet about it.
'Sashaxh': *runs and hides*