Chapter 4: Chapter 4
Just as I thought, Lina is already bustling around the kitchen. I push Val inside and motion him to sit on the pillowed chair.
"Morning," we say more or less in unison.
"Hey there," Lina waves a ladle without turning. "Val, may I ask you whatever possessed you to get up at such an undogly hour?"
"I usually get up at five, Madam."
"Usually," she turns and pins him with a glare. "Does that mean yesterday, too?"
"Yes, Madam," Val cringes a little and I can feel his unease. I pat his head even as Lina continues glaring.
"And you didn't eat anything before I came out, did you?"
"No, Madam."
"Well, that was the last time," she says with resolve. She strides up to us and hovers over Val, who is pressed into the back of the chair by sheer anticipation. "If you are up earlier than me, you are to go to the kitchen and eat anything you find edible. Is that clear?"
He nods frantically. I understand why Lina is doing this, but I am still not quite happy with it. I decide to change the subject for now.
"Ne, Lina-san. It turns out, Val here is fairly good at drawing."
"Really?" her frown vanishes together with steely voice. She is smiling somewhat tenderly and her eyes are sparkling. She ruffles his hair in a fondly motion. "You are really precious, aren't you."
Val is obviously bewildered by the sudden change, but doesn't say anything. I hope I'll see the day when he feels free to talk his mind.
Lina piles up heaps of food on her side of the table, and then a cup of hot chocolate and a jam-covered toast in front of Val.
"But I've already had breakfast, Madam!" he protests.
"Yes, four hours ago. And I'm not going to make lunch for another three hours. You are not going to be hungry at any time."
He still hesitates, then, surprisingly, turns to me.
"S-, er, Xellos..."
"Yes?" I sit down on the nearest chair.
"You said, I should not obey Aunt Filia anymore..."
"That is true, you shouldn't."
His eyes gain the same mischievous twinkle I've seen before.
"Does it mean I may have jam then?"
I feel my fingers itching for a Dragon throat, and I seem to hear Lina counting to ten under her breath.
"Sure, you may," I say, forcing a smile.
"Thank you!" the words die muffled as he plunges his teeth into the toast. I like sweets myself. I don't need to eat, of course, and if I have to eat for appearances' sake, it becomes a bother later because I have to clean out the subdimension of my astral body... But I usually put up with it for the sake of dessert. To think that my Val has been denied that pleasure... someone is soooo going to pay for it!
There was something odd about his question, though.
"Ne, Val," I say as soon as he's finished (which doesn't take him long). "Why did you ask me?"
"I can't just do things without asking, can I?" he says, confused. It looks like he is braver when confused.
"True enough, but why did you ask me and not Lina? She gave you the jam, not I, right?"
Lina, who has been filling herself on pancakes, rolls her eyes at me without pausing in her chewing. I expected Val to think long and hard of what to say, but he actually has a ready answer,
"You've allowed me things today already, I thought you might allow one more."
I snort. A little red-haired fox he is.
"Lina and I would allow same things. Besides, if she's offering you something, that means she allows it."
He considers it for a moment, then turns to Lina and says,
"Sorry, Madam. I will remember."
"It'sh oukay," she mumbles over a piece of cheese.
I hope that her antics will help Val relax rather than spoil his perfect table manners.
I suspect that woman has a subdimensional pocket inside her body too, otherwise it defies the laws of nature that so much food would fit into such a tiny body. Or maybe her metabolism is really fast. Anyway, at last she's done.
"Lina-san, as I recall you asked for a means of communication," I say conversationally.
Her eyes light up.
"Sure I did!"
"Well, I devised one... and I actually thought it would be better if both you and Val could use it in case of emergency."
"Yeah, that's good thinking, Xellos," she turns to Val who looks rather lost. "Do you follow us?"
"Huh, eh, I'm sorry, Madam," he mumbles.
"It's all right, Val," I assure, pulling out the device in question. "Let me show you."
The thing that I came up with is not exactly extraordinary. It's a more or less standard magical water-mirror. It looks like a middle-sized drinking-bowl, it's made of pitch-black grouper-stone which provides for the communication over distance. The unnaturally still liquid in it works like a mirror, or a screen to see the person you are talking to. These things are by no means new, if a little rare among humans. I know that both Lei Magnus and Rezo have had several items in their possession. A cheaper version of lower quality of transmission can be found in every Guild of Mages.
I put it on the table between Val and Lina who move closer to have a better look.
"It's very simple," I say. "You come up to the mirror, you call my name, you see me."
They stare for a moment at the shiny black thing. Then Lina asks,
"Where are you going to keep the other one?"
I am confused.
"The other one? Ah!" of course, she thought I need a receiving device as well. "There is no other one. It's just tuned to me, not to another device. I won't see you, of course, but I'll hear you."
"Oh. That's convenient!"
"Sure. Now, Val, do you understand? If something happens, if you feel danger or just feel bad, or if something bothers you, anything at all, you are to look into this thing and call my name. Is that clear?"
He nods. I doubt he understood, though, but hopefully Lina will be there if something really happens.
Both my present and my enthusiasm at Val's ability help him gain some confidence, so he actually opens his mouth and asks if he could go draw some more. We dismiss him as Lina closes the cupboard door (we decided to keep the mirror among the tableware, after all at the first glance it looks like just a fancy drinking-bowl).
"Xellos," Lina suddenly sounds stern. "Did you discuss Filia with him?"
"Not exactly..." I know she wanted to structure the Talk well. Also, the books all stated that the experience of neglect should be introduced into discussion carefully and gradually. But it has to be introduced anyway, or else Val would never get over it.
"What was it then?"
"Well... I kind of snapped. I just told him that Filia isn't going anywhere near him, so he shouldn't keep obeying her rules. Is that very bad?"
"No, I guess not," she shrugs. "We'll have to get the Dragons' teachings out of his system anyway, I just don't want to rush it."
"Neither do I. I know it might cause him to close up and stop believing us."
"I see you researched the matter."
"I did."
She smiles in an unnervingly knowing way.
"Why did you snap then?"
"Filia used to forbid him to accept presents even if someone wanted to give them to him."
Lina nods sadly, as if in her opinion it fits some pattern. I wonder if that was the case with her sister, too.
"It doesn't explain why you snapped though."
"Huh?"
"Xellos, don't be so thick. You said you saved Val because Milgasia asked you. Okay, I can believe that you wanted him to owe you. But ever since then you act like a mother-hen to Val. You scream at me for not being gentle, you vow to do anything to help him, you pat him on the head, for Ceified's sake! And now you actually lose the nerve when you learn that he was denied a small pleasure. What's going on with you?"
I forget everything she said before at this incredible statement.
"Small pleasure! He was bowling his eyes out for half an hour because of it!"
She looks at me with fearful admiration.
"Xellos... why do you care?"
I freeze. Damn it, I thought she simply accepted it yesterday and is not going to pry. Somehow, getting off with my usual phrase doesn't seem such a good idea any more.
"Lina... I don't think it would surprise you if I say that I don't want to tell you my reasons."
"It doesn't surprise me, Xellos, but you are not getting away with that. I'm OK with your 'secrets' when it's about something your Lord orders you. In this instance, however, I'm quite convinced you're acting on your own motives. You actually take this personally. I even dare suppose that your Lord doesn't know you're hiding Val."
She's hit a sore spot. She can be quite intelligent, my Lina. I feel very tired. I don't like lying. It's fool's territory. But evading her questions is so bothersome. And I already have to construct another reality for my Mistress who has already heard that Valteria was stolen. Thankfully, they didn't have time to recognise me. And Milgasia wouldn't say for Val's sake.
"All right, whatever, I have personal reasons. I still don't want to tell you, and you can't do anything about it," I actually drop any pretence and sit there as I am – tired, annoyed, slightly lost. She has the guts to look at me with pity, but I dismiss it quickly as she comes closer and puts her hand on my shoulder. She smells of bakery and fruit. She is warm and soft, and I can see her chest rising and falling as she breathes. A lock of her hair tickles my cheek. I close my eyes and drink in the feeling of her closeness.
"You're just like Val in this," she says, breaking my nirvana. "You won't let me in even though I could help."
I look up at her.
"Help how?"
"That depends on what's bothering you."
You, I think. You are bothering me.
"You already know that I care about Val. That is in itself a problem, no matter why it is so. How can you help me?"
"I can never be sure about you. You obviously didn't care about him when we killed him."
I jump. She can't just say it so bloody calmly!
"Or did you?" she raises an eyebrow. Oh, great, it was a test, and I fell for it. Either I'm getting old or I trust her too much. Or maybe I simply can't think straight in her presence.
"There was nothing I could do about it that time," I say bitterly. "He'd die anyway, only he was going to take everyone else with him." And there was no way I'd let him kill you. "He wasn't even himself anymore, he was a bloody hand-made Mazoku, he's lost half of his wits on the way.
She considers me, still in the dangerous proximity. I feel her body warmth on my arm, and this time I'm glad I can't blush.
"I see," she finally utters. She doesn't continue, so I decide to try and change the subject.
"When researching the matter, I was quite surprised at how many humans harm their own children. I mean, we don't have feelings towards the other demons that we create, but still, we certainly don't beat up our own creations that often! And humans are supposed to care..."
She narrows her eyes, staring in the distance.
"That's the point, see. Not everyone can bear to care. It's responsibility. Some people freak out and start seeing the child as an imposition on their freedom. I think Filia went through something similar."
I recalled how I defended the Dragoness for allowing for Val's execution. My fists clench. I didn't know then, not yet. I think I've done defending her.
"Xellos, you're so angry at her as if you haven't done any wrong in your life!" Lina exclaims in amusement. I am so not amused.
"Lina, I am supposed to do wrong. That is why I never came near Val during his first life. But she is a bloody priestess. She's supposed to do all the right things. So how come that I risk the wrath of my Mistress because I care for the child, and she 'sees him as an imposition on her freedom', huh!"
"Indeed, how come?" Lina teases half-heartedly. I don't even bother to answer, but then she comes back to something else I said, "You know what's the funniest thing, Xellos? Luna is the Knight of Ceified."
We are silent for a couple of minutes. My mind is clearly refusing to work for me. Probably, it's one of those things that the Lord of Nightmares forbade us to think about.
So it's like She-Whom-The-Hell-Spat-Back-Out and myself, the Demon of Demons, are the good guys, and the Knight of Ceified, a priestess of Fire Dragon King and two other Dragon Kings' temple Elders are the bad guys? How is that even possible?
And if it is, it's a bloody disaster!
"It's not funny," I finally say. Lina throws her head back, and utters a single "H-ha!"
And I love her more than ever.
I come to see Val next morning, early again. I am very happy to find him in the kitchen biting his way through a bun with raisins. He has even made tea himself, which mysteriously makes me proud.
He freezes as I appear and darts a look to the door, so I feel bound to say something.
"Hey, Val. How are you this morning?"
He gulps as he watches me sit down across from him.
"Fine, Sir, er, Xellos."
I raise an eyebrow, not willing to chastise him for the slip.
"May I have some tea?" I ask, anticipating the response. Now that I can predict most of his reactions it's actually quite amusing to watch his disbelieving expression every time I do something humane. And his inevitable joy at being treated like a person is so gratifying.
"Why are you asking me? It's Madam Lina's house. And I thought you said you knew what she allows..."
"Of course, of course, but it's your tea," I smile disarmingly as I cut his rant off.
"Mine?"
"You made it!"
"Oh."
"So may I?"
"Oh yes of course!"
I smile again and pour myself some tea.
"It's very good," I say as he returns to his bun. "Go on, eat, I won't interrupt you."
He obeys eagerly. I put my forearms on the table and my chin on top of them, and watch him through eyelashes. He doesn't resemble his mother at all, but for his hair. I have only seen him from afar at this age in his previous life, but it seems that he looks different. I suddenly want to touch him, as if his aura is calling out to me.
"Hold still, there's something on your cheek," I invent quickly and brush my fingers at his thin babyish skin. Sure enough, I feel an astral response like I might from my minions, only much stronger. But it wasn't there yesterday.
He pulls back slightly at my touch, frowning.
"It's all right," I say.
He rubs at his cheek, then stops abruptly and raises fearful eyes to me.
"Sorry, Xellos, I didn't mean to be rude."
"I know, it's all right. You felt it too, right?"
"Mmm, yeah, like from the cat."
"Sorry?"
"Uh, there was that cat next-door, she'd come to hunt in the basement. She'd let me stroke her, but sometimes it was like needles or something, and she'd run away."
"Ah, yes, that happens. It's not your fault, though. It's because the air was too dry." I feel obliged to say it, remembering how he tried to take the blame for everything.
"I don't think I could explain it to her even if I knew," he muses sadly.
There is nothing I can do about the truth of this statement.
"This thing you felt when I touched you, though, is more pleasant, isn't it?" I'm getting increasingly better at changing the subject.
"Yeah," he smiles. "I was just surprised."
I put my hand on the table in front of him, palm up. He timidly reaches out and places his small one just at the edge of mine. Here it comes again, a clear resonance of power, a tension at the proximity of someone so similar.
I can't help smiling, it's kind of ticklish, and the shrinking feeling inside me suddenly isn't annoying any more.
"Why does it happen?" he asks. "Is it air too?"
"No," I say. "I'm not sure exactly why, but it only happens for you and me."
"It didn't happen yesterday," he observes quite smartly, and the sensation intensifies.
"No, I guess, yesterday we weren't in the mood."
He nods as if it makes sense to him; to me, it doesn't. I wonder though, if it means that he trusts me now.
As pleasant as it is, I still have something to show him before Lina wakes up, so I break the contact. He isn't very disappointed, which is good because I don't want to disappoint him, but bad because it means he is fine with being denied pleasant things.
"Come on, Val," I say, this time changing the subject for my own sake. "Let's go to your room and I'll show you some of my pictures."
He is so eager he almost overturns the chair, and I wash his cup before he breaks it. He's radiating happiness.
We go upstairs to his neat bedroom. This time I pay more attention to the surroundings, and quickly notice the most probable reason why he chose the room in the first place. It has a huge tall window, and right under I can see the roof of the terrace. If my manner of assessing the surroundings is any indication, he'd probably seen this as a possible escape route. I think it's good. It makes him feel safer, and also a possibility to escape to the roof is better than nothing, especially when he learns to fly.
The bed stands in the far corner, and there's a small wardrobe at its foot. The other side of the room is occupied by a massive desk, a cabinet and bookshelves, already partially filled. My presents sit on the desktop, arranged as if they were an ikebana.
"A nice place you've got here," I comment smiling. He is fidgeting, eager to get to the interesting part. I sit down cross-legged on the carpet, and he joins me, his knee brushing at mine. I open the astral pocket and pull out the first canvas.
It is a picture of Lina lying in the grass on a sunny hillside, arms spread wide, the ends of her hair raising slightly together with the grass-stems in the wind.
Val gasps and bends down to the canvas, almost poking it with his little nose. I let him. This is one scenery that I have done and redone so many times, I cannot count. I convince myself that I simply like the combination of red and green...
"How did you do the grass?" he asks, and I have to remind myself that this is actually a lesson in drawing.
"You can do this with a thick hard brush. Here, let me show you."
I extract some brushes, a box of gouache, water and paper.
"See? If you don't press too hard, it'll leave stripes."
He tries several times, and quickly catches the required angle. He beams at me like I've shown him a miracle.
I pull out another picture. This one is a sanguine, Lina is sitting at the seashore, staring over the waves.
"Did you smooth it with your finger?" he asks incredulously after a close inspection. I honestly don't remember.
"Finger is fine, but you can use a napkin."
He nods, making a mental note.
Then there come: a watercolour of Lina in the battlefield, several oils of Lina in the autumn forest, a gouache of her wearing a chamomile garland, lots of pencil sketches of her simply sitting or lying in different positions (I thought those could be useful in terms of proportions, but I had to go through the whole stack to pull aside anything that's adults-only).
That is all I brought today. I have many more, but there's no need to rush. At least, these display some basic techniques.
Val stares at the variety of paintings and graphic scattered around us and sighs deeply.
"I wish I could draw like that!"
"I'll teach you. And I'm sure you'll do better than that."
He grins, and I begin explaining the concept of formal composition. This is so gratifying.
We're almost finished: the time is dangerously close to Lina's waking. I hide my pictures, leaving the paints on the floor. We should probably get some kind of worksheet before we ruin the carpet. Val's made several acceptable sketches, and I don't mind praising him again and again. He's blushing cutely.
"Don't you want to take your paints?" he is getting better at changing the subject, too.
"Nope, it'll be more fun to come here to paint together with you."
"Oh. Does it mean we'll only paint in the morning while Madam Lina is sleeping?"
I blink.
"No, we can do it anytime."
He switches suddenly to whisper,
"But you didn't want her to see your pictures."
"Ah. That's only about the old ones. I can draw something else while I'm here, and it will be all right to show her."
"Oh," he fidgets a little. "So is it just because you draw her that you don't want her to see?"
"Yeah," I mumble.
"Uh, okay. I guess she'd be too proud if she knew," he concludes quite seriously. I snort and nod frantically. Proud, indeed.