Chapter 5: Chapter 5

We are both finished just as Lina knocks on the door.

"Come in!" Val calls quickly. She does.

"Morning, guys. Everything all right?"

We both nod, then I notice that Val is fidgeting slightly. I reach out and pat him on the shoulder, which has the desired effect: he speaks.

"We've been drawing, er, together."

"Great," she smiles sleepily. "Xellos told me you were brilliant. May I see something?"

"Yes," he beams, pushing the freshest picture towards Lina's end of the table. It is his first attempt at gouache, and he's done his room. It seemed a weird choice to me, but I didn't say anything for fear of discouraging him, especially since he managed to sketch out a very good composition.

I realised what he was doing much later, when he was almost finished. Now I took my time watching Lina as she gaped at the sheet of paper.

As I noticed before, Val is extraordinarily good at capturing the spirit of whatever it is he is drawing as well as his own attitude to it. His room was done in soft warm colours, patches of light scattered across the bed and floor, the great window slightly open, the paints and brushes disorderly covering the table. Every object, line or stroke screamed, "Home!" I honestly have no idea how he does it. Probably it's some kind of magic. Or, maybe, he just knows intuitively what kind of shapes and angles work for different moods... Anyway, I am no art critic, I can't dissect his work to pronounce what makes it so striking. I can simply enjoy, and be happy that he likes it so much here, at Lina's house.

She actually hugs him, and I can sense that she is deeply touched. Well, she has to be, it's her place after all. I feel a little bit envious as Val hugs her back, although I'm not sure, which one of them I envy more. It's one thing to hug a crying child to make him stop, but it's something completely different to do it just on a whim for no apparent reason. I haven't even considered it so far.

My reverie is broken by a call. I hiss quietly, but they both turn to me, and Val actually looks scared.

"Sorry," I say, and I'm really so sorry it almost hurts. "Need to go, some urgent business there. I'll try to come back after lunch."

"After lunch we're going to the market, so take your time," Lina replies in a business-like fashion, but she looks at me with pity again, and I hate it. I nod to Val and vanish.

The call however turns out to be a mistake. My Mistress was going to call another servant, but turned to me automatically, out of habit. She dismisses me in a second. I can go back and enjoy the rest of the morning with my Val (and my Lina), but on a second thought I decide it might be interesting to see how they interact between themselves without me there. So far I only did it once, the first day, well, why not repeat?

So I come back just in time to see Lina staring at my picture. I must say I'm rather predictable in my creativity: I drew Val. It's a pencil sketch only slightly toned with watercolours, but Lina examines it as if it were a famous oil. She can't seem to tear her eyes away from it, even as Val gets up to go downstairs for his second, and Lina's first breakfast. Eventually, though, she joins him, but there's a very odd expression on her face.

I glide up to the table to have a second look. What is it that caught her interest? No matter how hard I try, I can't figure it out. Val's sitting at the table with a brush in his hand, staring intently at the paper before him, his eyes slightly narrowed. His bangs are pushed to a side, so that it seems like he has an evenly cut fringe. His posture is quite relaxed, but he's ready to spring into motion any time. What did she see here?

Val has finished his pie and is pondering over his cup of tea, from time to time darting glances at Lina who is still eating.

"What is it?" she asks between bites. "You don't need special invitation to speak, do you?"

He blushes slightly and takes a deep breath.

"Madam Lina, why is Xellos so kind to me?"

I am amused. Let's see what Lina is going to answer.

She answers immediately, as if she had it ready for years,

"Because he likes you."

I stare. Well, I guess it's true, but... put like that... I have never thought of it that way. But then, what else could I answer? Why am I good to him? A bloody good question!

"He does?" Val sounds both hopeful and incredulous, and I feel that blasted shrinking thing again.

"Sure," Lina dismisses easily.

"But why?" he continues, although it seems like he's talking to the saucer rather than Lina. "I'm not even good."

"He doesn't have to have a reason to like someone. Besides, you're quite good as far as I am concerned."

I know that she appears nonchalant on purpose. It is the absent-minded remarks that reveal one's true opinion. Nevertheless, Val drops his gaze.

"No," he says sadly. "I'll grow up and become bad," he pauses there, and Lina's already opening her mouth to contradict him when he suddenly looks up and continues, "Do you think Xellos will like me still?"

Lina chuckles.

"Xellos will like you no matter what. It doesn't matter to him, what you are," she clearly wants to go on, but he interrupts.

"Then why didn't he take me from there sooner?"

I barely refrain from a gasp. Is that what he's thinking? But what am I to do? How do I convince him that I care?

Lina narrows her eyes.

"Why do you think he should have? You were in no danger."

"Yeah, but... they didn't like me. Well, maybe, Milgasia-sama, a little, but Aunt Filia didn't, and some others hated me."

"How do you know it?" she asks quickly.

"Well, it's obvious. They called me names, and looked at me like I was some dirt, and never spoke to me, only about me to Aunt Filia. And they would say stuff like that she should be ashamed to keep me."

"And what did she say?"

"That she had no choice, because, like, I fell onto her or something. I never really got that part."

"And who were those people?"

"I dunno exactly, but she called them something-sama, so they must've been some bosses. They were old. One had a golden chain," Val shivers.

So those were the two remaining Elders. I know one of them wears a heavy golden chain, indeed.

"Did they hurt you?" Lina asks.

Oh dear, I didn't even think about it! Thankfully, he shakes his head.

"They wouldn't touch me. They went to wash their hands after even standing near. I thought that maybe I should grab one, maybe he'll get sick or something," Val actually giggles, but quickly comes to his senses, "But that would mean I'm bad."

I'll crush their necks. After I crush every other bone in their bodies.

"Val," Lina says sternly, drawing his attention. "Have you ever told Xellos how they treated you?"

He thinks for a moment.

"No."

"Did you tell him you wanted to get away from there?"

"No! I thought he was bad! That's what Aunt Filia-"

Of course Filia would convince him I'm an enemy! And now he'll never forgive me for not being there when he needed-

"Then how do you think he could know that he should have taken you away?"

Oh. Well.

"Oh. Well."

Huh, we actually react the same way?

"He couldn't," Val concludes.

"No, and you can't really blame him."

"I don't blame him! He's great!"

It's good that I don't have human ideas of ethics which would have made me feel uneasy about eavesdropping on myself being praised.

"But you see now that he likes you, right? And that he didn't help you sooner just because he didn't know you needed help?"

"Yeah... I... I'm sorry I thought bad at him. Well, not bad, but..." he continues mumbling incoherently.

"Yes, bad," Lina states clearly. Does she have to make him feel worse? "If somebody knows you're in trouble and doesn't help, that's bad. If they help, it's good."

"But-"

"You are still a little child, Val. Children like you can't be bad, no matter how hard they try. It's a law, like when you drop a stone, it flies down, not up. It's just impossible."

"But when I grow up-"

"If you grew up with Filia, you'd most likely go bad. But now that you're here, you won't."

He stares for several moments. I itch to applaud; Lina has put it just in the right way for him to digest without changing too many beliefs at once.

"Then why didn't she give me to you?" he finally asks. Lina has an answer for this, too.

"Because she's stupid. And those two others, they are bad themselves, and actually wanted you to be bad."

Val's tiny hands are clutching the edge of the table so hard, the fingertips are white.

"So I won't go bad?"

"Of course not," Lina says convincingly. "You are a smart and talented little boy and you'll make a great adult!"

Crocodile (or should I say 'dragon'?) tears start rolling down Val's cheeks, even as he smiles broader than ever. Lina quietly sighs, glancing over her half-eaten breakfast, then stands up and walks up to the child to hug him.

"It's okay, dear. It's okay," she whispers into his hair as he clings to her, sobbing lightly.

"You are like Mum," he suddenly says. I startle. I never thought he could remember. Oh damn, what if he remembers something else from his previous life? Like how he died!

"You may call me Mum if you like," Lina says without even blinking. I consider worshipping the woman.

"Really?"

"Yeah, absolutely."

"Thanks... Mum."

She kisses his pale-red mop, right where there used to be a horn.

I hide my face in my hands even though no one can see me. Another pugnacious redhead as Val's mother is a little bit too much for my nerves, especially since this time I'm not indifferent. Indeed, history repeats itself, first as tragedy, second as farce.

I can't stand the tearful cuteness of the scene anymore and decide to go see Milgasia. I owe him, after all.

From eavesdropping on younger Dragons I find out that he was freed soon after I took Val. Obviously, no one suspected him in conspiring with Mazoku. After a brief search in Astral I find him in a desolate temple down the northern side of the mountains. I appear at the entrance where the holy aura isn't too strong.

"Milgasia-san?"

He turns a little too quickly, and I know he's not exactly relaxed.

"Xellos."

His look is heavy, and he is clearly expecting something bad from me. I wonder why.

"I am glad to see you liberated," I drawl with a polite smile.

"What did you do with the boy?"

Oh, so we're being right-to-business.

"He is safe," I say and add almost without a pause, "and happy."

I wonder why I felt compelled to say it. Milgasia must be wondering too, because he narrows his eyes.

"What are you going to do with him?"

Hmph! Teach him to draw, to fly and to fight? Buy him a thousand and one toy? Hug him and tell him he's the best little boy in the world? Somehow, none of these seem to be appropriate answers.

"I'll have him well-raised and educated," I say finally. Not a lie, and nothing personal.

"You realise he has some abilities no one else in the world possesses, don't you?"

Yes, quite. One is to draw, the other is to make my emotions swing from one extreme to another in a split second.

"Such as?"

"Deep empathy, intuition bordering on prophetic gift... probably, some really advanced healing skills, those were common among the Ancients."

Yes, I noticed. And your bloody fellows almost erased this gift to the world. They looked at him like he was dirt.

"I'll see that those are developed. If you have any literature on the subject, this is a good time to share."

He nods.

"I'll leave everything relevant here next Monday. But Xellos," he pauses trying to look me in the eyes which are closed. "If you turn him into a Mazoku weapon, I will not owe you anymore."

He – owe me? Oh, right, he thinks I did him a favor by rescuing Val. Hm, good.

Val as a weapon? That boy with his sad eyes and broad smile? I'd rather die.

"You are quite aware, Milgasia-san, that I am never the one to start a fight. As long as Valteria is in my custody, he will not be exposed to aggression or ideas of vengeance, if only because I do not wish any conflict. You should realise though, that I will not tolerate any belligerent actions on behalf of your people."

I open my eyes, since I know it works very well on Milgasia. Indeed, it does. He nods hastily, dropping his gaze.

"That is as much as I can ask."

"Good. Well, then, I'll be on my way..."

"Wait."

I wait as he's mustering the will to say something.

"Xellos, I... I don't know your objectives, and I dare not ask, and I thank you for saving him, but... do you think I could see him some time?"

I am actually quite surprised. Val did say that Milgasia seemed to like him, but for the Dragon Elder to plead so openly... hm.

"Why would you wish to do so? Do you doubt my ability to find him a decent caregiver?" I actually sneer.

"No, no! Nothing like that. It's just... he is a very nice child. I haven't seen anyone like him in centuries. It's... I don't think you could understand, it's a personal thing..."

Oh, yes, I can understand very well, thank you.

"If you care so much, why did you let the others treat him like he was mud under their feet?"

"I, uh, um..."

"I will consider your request as soon as you learn to produce words, Master Elder."

With that, I leave. I hope he didn't realise how personal it is for me.

I take my time calming down, and when I finally arrive at Lina's Val is already asleep. I hoped to spend some more time with him, but Lina's company is good too, and I want her to tell me about the scene I witnessed in the morning, so that I could refer to it later without exposing my eavesdropping. Man proposes, God disposes.

I find Lina in the sitting-room with a cup of tea and a Saillune Guild of Mages' almanac propped on one knee.

"Hey there, Xellos. Long day, eh?"

"Kind of," I settle down on her right, carefully 'accidentally' brushing my hand at her hair. She studies me for a moment, then puts down both the cup and the book.

"He is really your son, isn't he?"

I blink. Surely she doesn't mean...

"S-sorry?"

"Yes, Xellos, yes. You sired him, he's related to you. He has never had any other father than you."

"Uh- I..."

"There is nothing you can do about me knowing it."

"H-how...?"

"There had to be a very good reason for you to care so much. And that picture you drew of him... He really resembles you there. I thought I was seeing things, but then I watched him more closely... he does, Xellos. He even moves somewhat like you. I guess if I had any Mazoku-exposing artifact, it'd go off at his touch. And it makes sense, too, that he's the only one who survived the Ancients' slaughter – if he's half Mazoku, that's no wonder."

I drop my head. I can't even begin to imagine what she can do to me by exploiting this information. I even feel slightly sympathetic with Milgasia.

"What do you want?"

"I want to know why you did it. I'll never believe it was an accident."

I have nothing left to do but to tell her.

"It was an experiment, at first. You know how I am about those... if I find out something has never been done by a Mazoku, I've got to do it. Well, at some point I was obsessed with finding out the possibility of Mazoku parenting children, like Humans and Dragons. It turned out that a Mazoku cannot give birth regardless of gender, and Mazoku-Human halfbloods actually exist, even though not very happily. But I couldn't find any data on Dragon halfbloods, so I naturally decided to try. At the time I was doing a job among the Ancients, so it seemed the easiest to find a partner there. She never knew I was a Mazoku, of course, until Val was born. She noticed then, and kicked me out quite effectively. I didn't care much. I knew he was healthy and provided for. She obviously never told him he was a halfblood, otherwise he wouldn't have agreed to Gaav's terms. He'd have known he'd survive on his own. But it wasn't until he was converted that I realised I cared. After all, it's like he is half me. I think Gaav suspected something and did it on purpose to hurt me; he'd always hated me."

We are silent for a minute. Then Lina speaks.

"Do you regret it?"

"I do, now. I mean, he's suffered more than anyone I've ever known."

"Then why not just kill him and off with it?" she asks calmly, but I won't get into the same trap twice. I know she's provoking me.

"Because I want him to live, and to like me. Since the Lord of Nightmares saw fit to give him another chance... maybe this time I can do better by him. At least I must try. Because he is mine, you see? It's a great disadvantage, and my Mistress would kill me of she knew, but... he's mine. I don't know how else to explain it."

"Well, I guess, if you were deviant enough to produce a child in the first place, there's little wonder you go on acting non Mazoku-like," she chuckles.

Not particularly funny to me.

"So what now?" I ask trying hard not to sound too condemned.

"I guess you should tell him," she says shrugging. My mind races through a number of 'him's' – from Shabranigdo to Milgasia.

"Whom?"

"Why, Val, of course! Who are we talking about?"

Oh. But how is it his business?

"Why should I?"

She stares at me like I have sprouted another head. Then makes a show of sighing and rolling her eyes.

"For us, creatures of flesh and blood, it is important to have blood relatives. He asked me today why you care. He still doubts you. If he knew you were his father, he'd take it for granted that you won't harm him. Don't you want him to trust you?"

You have no idea.

"Maybe, but he's still too small. I still don't know what it will take to buy your silence, and I'm not risking my neck relying on his promises."

She laughs hard and long, although not very merrily.

"You're still such a Mazoku," she finally chuckles, reaching out and actually stroking me on the head. I am rooted to the place and can barely catch whatever it is she is saying next. "You don't have to buy my silence. Your well-being is essential to Val's happiness, and I won't do anything to jeopardise that."

I find some voice and even words, even of the right language.

"And why do you care?"

She shrugs.

"I guess, the answer would be, I'm a human. I agreed to take care of this child, and I can't help being involved."

I recall how I asked her to look after Val for a couple of months until I am free. Not exactly what I had in mind.

"Lina, it's... it was supposed to be temporary."

"Temporary? And what then? You'll find a better nurse?"

"No... I was going to take him myself."

"And you feel so sure that you'll cope?"

"Well, he's getting better. I mean, once he is over all that neglect and stuff, it should be all right."

"Really," she eyes me skeptically, and I am starting to feel that there is no way I could raise a child alone. "And how exactly are you going to get rid of your daily duties?"

"Well, you see, siring Val is not my only sin against my people. Zellas-sama will soon learn of another one, and she wouldn't be able to keep me anymore."

"She'll let you go?"

"Certainly."

"What if she kills you?"

I shake my head. I don't think Lina would ever understand the kind of relationship I have with my Mistress.

"No, she won't."

"Still, I guess, you'll have plenty of enemies after that."

"Most likely. So?"

"So it'll be dangerous for Val to stay with you."

I see red.

"So you want to take him away fro me? Just like his bloody mother! Well, you know what, Lina Inverse, this is where your powers end. He's mine and I'm not staying away from him again! If you have any problems with letting me pick him up in two months from here, I won't be too unhappy to use force."

I notice that I actually stood up somewhere in the middle of my tirade, and am now towering over Lina, radiating malice. Lina is... Lina is fascinated. The blasted woman.

"Wow, you really love him, don't you," she says in awe, and I want to bang my head with something hard. "But you misunderstood me. I never meant to keep him from you. Only to keep him for you. It's hard to be a single parent, Xellos, even if you are free and good at it. I see no reason why you should expose your crimes to your Mistress, and then constantly watch your back while trying to have fun with Val. He would be an obvious target for anyone who'd want to harm you. I am simply suggesting that we go on living like we do now. Val's staying here, no one would suspect me of keeping him, but even if they find out, they won't be too surprised. I'm human, I'm supposed to like children, and I was just next to Filia when she caught the egg, so why not? And most people of all races are too scared of me to try anything. And you can come to see him anytime, which by itself is no surprise either – as I recall, you had orders to keep an eye on me. I think it's perfect."

I sit down on the coffee-table right in front of Lina, my knees touching hers. I am so tired.

"It sounds good, I guess," I sigh. "Sorry for my misunderstanding."

She pats my hand, like she would Val's, and I feel that I'm losing it.

"It's just... I intend to visit as often as I can, and that'll be very often. You'll get sick and tired of me very quickly."

She snorts and squeezes my hand which is trembling.

"You are just like Val. I won't be tired of you. I actually quite enjoy your company, silly."

I am very glad I can't cry.