Danny rose, declared he was going to get the three of them coffee, and left. Lizzie debated whether or not to point out to him that she hated coffee again, but she decided now was not the time.
Erin led Lizzie to the armchairs in her office and the two of them sat down. Erin sighed, debating whether or not to hold her daughter's hand, then folded her hands on her lap.
"So tell me about yourself." Erin said, biting at the tension in the air.
"I'm a senior in high school and I love singing and acting. I originally wanted to become a lawyer, but now I'm starting to dislike the idea. I'm sure you're great, I just didn't know that cops and lawyers were the family business."
"I didn't want to give you up." Erin declared bluntly. Lizzie shrunk back, the both of them were thinking about the same exact thing but neither of them would admit it. "You were the result of a rape when I was eighteen. They didn't catch the guy and I knew he would be back so I gave you away to protect you."
"What did you mean he would be back?"
"He raped me in hopes that I would marry him if I got pregnant. He was a psychopath. He wanted me to build a family with him. All because I was a Reagan and was the grandchild of the Police Commissioner at the time. Sounds stupid, I know, but I guess he was a mega fan of the Reagans."
"And?"
"He ran. When you were born my mother arranged for you to be adopted by a young but older than me couple in Chicago. He came back, demanding you and I told him you were miscarried. He was about to rape me again and Danny came in and arrested him. He didn't know about you. I didn't tell anyone except my mother for fear he would somehow find out you were alive. To this day I am still afraid he is out there somewhere. People like this do not change."
"Is your mother Mary?" Lizzie asked, choosing to avoid the subject at hand because it was making her sick.
"Yeah. Why?"
"She visited me when I was a kid. Told me if I was ever in trouble I needed to find the New York Commissioner because he would be able to help me. That's the reason I'm here."
"She passed away five years ago." Erin mumbled, the sadness hinging on her voice.
"I know. She stopped visiting." The two of them sighed.
"So... why did you seek the Commissioner? Are you in trouble?"
"My parents were murdered in front of me. They didn't have any family and I didn't know what to do. I was so scared. Still am," Lizzie couldn't help the tears that started running down her face. She threw her face into her lap and curled herself into a ball. She was pretty embarrassed that within the first thirty minutes of meeting her mother she turned into a cry baby, so she was pretty surprised when she felt someone rubbing their arms up and down her back.
"It's okay... you're okay now. I got you."
Was she really going to take this comfort from a total stranger? Okay, it was her mother, but...
"What am I going to do? He's the reason I'm all alone again."
"You're not alone. You're going to stay with me and I'm going to protect you from him. And if I can't protect you, then your Grandpa, Uncle Danny, and Uncle Jamie will. They're all cops."
Screw appearances. She leaned into Erin and let her wrap her arms around her. They were thin, but still strong enough to protect her from the outside world. Her parents were gone, but her mother was there. And she had a family, uncles, a sister, grandpa...
Danny walked back in with a coffee tray. He smiled at Erin, who continued comforting her daughter. "I hate to ruin this moment, but Dad is going to wonder what I did with her."
"Thank you," Erin mouthed. "Come on, let's go. Maybe Danny should tell him, he might faint if I do it. My grandpa as well." Erin stood up, and as she did Lizzie stood up with her, not releasing from her strong grip around Erin. Erin shrugged and tried to move over to get her jacket and purse, but Lizzie still wouldn't release. Danny walked over, grabbing Erin's jacket and purse, handed them to her, and walked out the door.
"Where's Nicky?" Danny questioned on their way to the car.
"With friends. Should be available for dinner though." Erin sighed. How was she going to explain this to her daughter?
"Honey, you have to let go." Erin tried when they got to Danny's car. Erin wanted to sit in the front with Danny so she could read Lizzie's file to make sure there wasn't anything wrong, but Lizzie wouldn't release. Erin didn't mind the fact that she was a tad clingy, it was because of the fact that her whole world had been taken away from her. She just needed her to let go.
"Come on." Danny coaxed, trying to pull Lizzie off of Erin. Lizzie eventually gave up and sat in the back seat. Erin felt bad, but still sat in the front anyway. She wanted to look at the files without her daughter peering over her shoulder, because there were probably pictures of her parents in there. And there was no reason to traumatize the girl any further.
The ride to the Commissioner's office was quiet. Danny and Erin talked about Danny and Linda's plans for taking the boys to a baseball game, and Lizzie spaced out. She knew that she was eighteen and a legal adult, but she couldn't understand why she felt so safe in her mother's arms. It was the strangest thing, she hadn't hugged her parents in years (and was now regretting that) and when she did, she never felt that way. Erin clearly didn't feel the same way back. She didn't even care that she had another daughter besides Nicky. She was just extra baggage. Why would she have given her away?
She would just have to stay with them for a night, and then leave. No point in getting attached to people and things that didn't stay. It wouldn't be the first time someone she loved left her, by choice. Her parents weren't given that choice.
"How about you go talk to Dad, and me and Lizzie will stay here?" Erin tried. This was so unlike her, she generally wanted to face things head on, but she was scared. Her father wouldn't be mad about Lizzie, he would be mad that she never had the guts to tell him what happened.
"If that's what you want.." Danny said, then slammed the door.
"Detective Reagan, sir." Baker opened the door, then slammed it behind Danny. Frank pulled his glasses off, folding them and putting them down.
"Well, son, what have you found? Is Lizzie taken care of?" Frank asked, closing the lid on his laptop, and pulling his glasses off his face before stopping to rub his temples.
"About that, Erin's with Lizzie in the car because..." Danny stopped, he actually didn't know how to tell his father the truth. He was already so stressed because of that idiot mayor, not to mention all of the usual drama his father dealt with in the office.
"Lizzie is Erin's daughter." He said quickly.
"What?" Frank questioned, pretty sure he had misheard what his son had just said.
"Dad, she's Erin's daughter. And Erin is terrified. She just won't say it. There's clearly something else going on, but I don't know what yet." Frank sat back in his chair. He was NOT expecting that.
"She didn't want to tell me herself?" He asked, the hurt evident in his voice. He dropped his eyebrows, pursing his lips.
"No. She's scared, for more reasons than one." Danny said, running a hand through his hair. His kid sister had clearly gotten herself into some deep trouble. And it was all getting thrown in her face within the blink of an eye. She had been hiding this for eighteen years...
"Is she coming over for dinner tonight? I need to talk to her." Frank asked.
"Yeah. I know it's not Sunday, but I think we should have dinner. Lizzie has already met almost everybody, she just hasn't met Pops or any of the kids. No point in denying her as a member of the family, right?"
Frank nodded, at a loss of words.
"I'll call everybody and get food. I'll see you later Dad. I'm really sorry about all of this..." Danny mumbled quickly, walking out the door as fast as he could to avoid any future turbulence. His father looked concerned, confused...
But above all he looked sad.
Frank sighed. He knew something was going to happen today. But never in a million years had he expected that it would be gaining another granddaughter, at least not from Erin. He turned to look at the picture of Mary on the shelf. She knew and he didn't. That's what hurt. But he was glad because she was the reason Lizzie was back with them.
"I told him," Danny said when he got to the car.
"And? How did he take it?" Erin put down her phone, she had just talked to Nicky about going to get her from her friend's house, she wasn't really sure what she was going to say when her daughter got into the car and found her long lost sister sitting in the back seat.
"Not well. But what did you expect?" Danny turned the key in the ignition. He almost felt normal about this whole situation, just driving with his sister and niece.
"It's Dad. He's almost always a rock. I feel awful about this because I made him feel awful about this."
"The whole family is coming over for dinner. Might as well get it over with, right? And I'm sure Dad will forgive you, you clearly had a reason for doing what you did, right? So don't worry." Danny declared.
"Great." Erin grumbled. Lizzie was still sitting in the back, staring at the skyscrapers that lined the streets. This city still amazed her no matter how long she was there. She loved it to the moon and back.
"I told him I would go get dinner." Danny argued. Yes, they were back to normal.
"But I need to go pick up Nicky!" Erin yelled back.
Lizzie continued tuning them out. She felt so out of place. How was she supposed to sit through a whole dinner of a whole family staring at her and poking at her like she was an animal in the zoo. She closed her eyes and tried to get rid of the headache that was starting to form. She didn't feel great.
Some time later, someone joined her in the backseat. She didn't move or bother to open her eyes. Her head hurt.
"Hi Mom, Uncle Danny... Who is this?"
Danny and Erin shared eye contact before Erin answered, "Your sister."
Nicky's mouth dropped in shock and she sat back against the seat, not saying another word. She looked just like her, almost. She always wanted a sister. Except maybe not out of the blue, and older than her, after she was born.
"I'll explain everything later Nicky, I promise." Erin said, without moving her gaze from the right side mirror, watching Lizzie. She felt awful. Not just that she had given her daughter up, but the fact that she had pushed her away. What kind of mother was she? She should've been making the effort to ask her daughter how she felt about this whole situation, or at least held her hand from the front seat.
Danny left the three of them in the car and ran into the store to get a roast. The three of them sat in silence again. Erin, desperate for sound to fill the air, asked Nicky about her day. Nicky said it was fine and that she aced her geometry test in a monotone voice, without removing her gaze from Lizzie, who was now breathing slow enough that they could both assume she was asleep.
"Why didn't you tell me Mom?" Nicky asked.
"No one knew. Not even Grandpa or Uncle Danny."
"Why did you give her up?"
"I told you we would talk about it later!" Erin hissed. "I feel awful right now about this whole thing. And the three of us will talk about this after dinner when we get home. Right now we have to worry about getting through dinner."
"Mom..."
"Yes..."
"Who is her father? It's not Dad right?" Nicky questioned, even though they were going through a divorce. Erin knew Nicky still held out hope for their marriage. She was losing a parent. Lizzie had already lost both of the ones who raised her.
"No. It's not. Please stop asking questions." Erin demanded gently, and went back to gazing out the window.
Frank sat at his desk, still shocked over the situation. His daughter never once had the courage to tell him that he had another granddaughter. He knew that she knew that the family would have been able to protect her. Erin had abandoned her own offspring to strangers so that she wouldn't have to deal with the problem. That was not the Reagan way of dealing with things. He couldn't help the tears. He hadn't cried since Joe died. He should be happy, right? This was a gain, not a loss...
"Sir," he looked up to see Baker at the door. He nodded and she came towards the desk. "These are all of the files that Danny pulled when he was looking into the case, but there was one encrypted file that only you can open." Baker motioned to his computer and pulled up the file before leaving him to look at this 'top secret' file.
Frank clicked in his password before gazing at the file pulled up in front of him. He squinted to read the font. It was a case report of sorts, written in pink pen? It was handwritten, scribbled in cursive, later scanned into the computer... this was different.
Dearest Francis,
If you're reading this it probably means I've passed away because otherwise I would have told you. We have another granddaughter. She goes by Lizzie but Erin wanted to name her Francine Marie after the two of us. At least we know we did out children right. She is like you and I in so many ways. She is adventurous, fearless, headstrong, confident. But she is so much of Erin, they have the same laugh and eyes and I think it's like seeing Erin grow up again. Please don't be mad at Erin though. She wanted to do what was right for Lizzie which was to protect her. If you're reading this something must have happened, and you and the rest of our family must come together to help through this. She is a Reagan whether she likes it or not.
Frank didn't even realize the tears that were falling freely down his face until Baker opened his door to check up on him.
"Sir, are you alright?" Baker asked, the concern hinging on her voice.
"Baker." He said, clearing his throat. "I'm fine."
Baker remained unconvinced, knowing she should trust her boss, but seeing him sad always made her feel awful, he was such a sweet man and he was always kind to her. He was the reason she had this job- right next to the Police Commissioner of New York City.
Baker would just have to ask Erin or Danny about it next time she came in. Not because she was noisy, but because she cared.
Danny soon ran back to the car where Erin, Nicky, and Lizzie were chilling, throwing three grocery bags in the trunk before driving the three of them over to Frank's house. Erin's heart pounded hard. As a lawyer, not much intimidated her, but she was terrified. Her heart had been beating in her chest for the past hour with no thought of stopping.
Lizzie, having dozed in and out of being awake, listened to the sound of her mother and uncle talking about dinner. Just how many Reagans would be at this dinner? She had already met five of them, how many more could there be?It was probably an audition to be in their family. They would all watch how she ate, breathed, sat, dressed, acted, spoke, and then judge her on it later. That's how the old family worked.
There were very few things Lizzie could nail better than she nailed her auditions.
Whether they liked it or not, there was a new Reagan in town.
Nobody was going to rain on her parade! (oh yes, that Barbra Streisand reference was so intended...)
