Chapter 8: Chapter 8
Hi to all who reads me! Just to make sure you know I remember about you 8) Somehow big issues don't allow themselves to be written so far, so instead of revenge, jealosy and Milgasia, this chapter features horses, puppies and, oh dear, I never imagined I would write that scene down! Just don't gossip about them, people, okay? I mean, Lina is sensitive to gossips, right...
Her lips are salty and smell of cinnamon. Ah, yes, those buns for breakfast. She is so soft and timid; I can feel the heat of her flushed cheeks. I don't allow myself more than the slightest touch, a butterfly-wing flutter. I want to grab her and pin her to the bed, and take her here and now. But I am quite capable of strangling my own wishes. It's good enough, I tell myself, that I can get this much. I don't want this to be over so soon.
She strokes my shoulder, lightly, too, as if afraid that I'll prove to be an illusion. In a sense I am, of course, but right now I am as material as I can get. Ah, but she pulls away.
"Val," she says. I glance around, spooked. Did he see us? Where is he?
"I mean," Lina continues acidly, getting up, "now that we settled the amorous issue, we should go to Val. I hope you are not using him as a pretext to hang around me."
I make a face at her, but she is right. The way we both left, Val must be quite confused.
I catch his hand just an instant before the tip of his brush reaches my painted face.
"What are you doing?" I cry out in pure horror.
"I wanted to change it because you didn't like it," he explains with a straight face.
"I did like it! I'm sorry, little one, I was preoccupied with other things, but I did like it. Don't change anything, please."
"Uh, okay," he puts the brush down.
"I guess we all need a break from drawing," Lina arrives on my heels and stays hovering in the doorway. "How about playing ball outside? It's a shame to waste this splendid weather indoors."
So we go out and have an hour or two of pure fun filled with running, screaming and rolling on the grass. Finally we settle down to catch a breath near the strawberry beds. My flesh-and-blood companions immediately turn to feeding, which is so characteristic and amusing.
"I can't believe it's okay to eat something that grows!" Val exclaims.
"About a half of everything you normally eat had been growing at some point," Lina replies in a lecturing voice which is though slightly muffled by a handful of berries she's sifting into her mouth at the same time.
"Really? Which half?" he is so excited that I can't help laughing. Lina just rolls her eyes, and then proceeds to explain where different foods come from. He listens as if his life depends on it.
"Ne, Xellos," Lina turns to me once she is finished with the most common dishes. "Don't you think we ought to teach this little guy something else too, er, more relevant than drawing?"
"Yes, of course," I have been planning for it. I have already prepared some materials and considered the best way to structure his lessons in magic. Milgasia's scrolls should come in handy too. "Ne, Val, how about learning some magic?"
To my horror he is looking at me like he did the first day, scared and distrusting.
"Vaaal," Lina drawls. "No one is going to make you read adult books day and night. Learning is fun, especially with Xellos for a teacher!"
I almost miss the compliment as Val mumbles,
"I am not good with studies..."
"Nonsense," I assure him in my most convincing voice. "You just never had a good teacher."
He murmurs something even I can't hear, so I have to prompt him to repeat.
"I can't do magic," he says.
Lina and I exchange glances. Well, that is the most nonsensical nonsense I have heard in ages. He is Mazoku enough to read emotions! How can he not be capable of magic!
"They just didn't show you how to do it properly," Lina supplies.
"Yes, they did," he seems very stubborn about it. "Several different people showed me, and I tried, but nothing happened, only it hurt."
We exchange glances another time.
"How about trying once more with me?" I suggest. "I promise it won't hurt."
He nods, but looks desperate.
I go through the theory with him briefly, using the smallest words I know. Then I ask him to cast a simple Lighting spell. I myself can't do it because it's White magic, but that doesn't mean I don't know how.
He raises his hand in front of him, palm up, stares at it intently, and nothing happens.
"Now, Val, let's go through it once more. Think of how you want light. Got that?"
He nods.
"Now, let that thought flow into your hand. Can you do it?"
He nods again, and I hear a quiet sob. There is no light.
Lina, who has been watching us skeptically, decides to interfere.
"Let's try another one. Here, put your hands on the ground. Okay, now the idea is to make a toy."
"A toy!" Val looks up so sharply, that his hands get in the air again.
"Yup," Lina smiles. "We're having fun here, aren't we? So. Hands on the ground, and think of a toy. Now say 'Vu Vraimer'."
'Vuu Vraimer!" he repeats, stressing the reverberating 'r's. I can only gape as the soil under his palms rises and takes shape of a teacup-sized puppy. Val stares at it fascinated, then looks at his own hands, then again at the puppy.
"Wow. A toy," he says disbelievingly.
So what does it mean? He can't do White magic? That is possible if inconvenient. But how do I explain it to him?..
While I am musing, however, the little naturalist sticks his hand out into the air and demands, "Lighting!"
And light comes forth.
Lina chuckles and stands up.
"Well, since this issue is resolved, I think I'll go downtown to do some shopping. Our friend Milgasia has quite an appetite, we're out of most foods."
"Oh, yeah, of course, and you didn't even touch a single dish," I laugh.
"I'm the cook, I don't count," she grins and sticks a bright pink tongue out at me. It's supposed to indignate me, but I only feel somewhat lustful. I quickly search for a change of topic.
"Ne, Lina, shall I give you money?"
She ponders for a second.
"Nope, thanks, I have plenty at the moment."
"I just mean that... since you've got to share..."
She gives me a sour look.
"I won't have you pay me for keeping Val, if that's what you mean," then her tone suddenly changes, "But if I decide to do a major buy, I'll remember your offer!"
With that she takes off for the house, and I can only snort at her antics. As if I could deny her a couple of gold pouches!
I turn to Val who is still waving after Lina.
"All right then, little one. Let's make your toy move a bit."
"Move! How is that?"
"Hm, for example, tell it to sit."
He stares at the puppy intently, then carefully, as if afraid to break it, breathes,
"Sit."
It does.
"Wooooow..."
I think his 'wow' is becoming my favourite word.
I use this piece of Shamanistic Earth magic to start the talk about the kinds of magic in general, and then summon some sheets of paper and bright pencils. Soon we set out drawing colourful diagrams. Just as I expected, learning through drawing works for the best with Val. He decorates the standard patterns with symbols of elements, frowning and laughing faces and such. I let him take his time playing around with these complicated concepts. It will pay off some day.
Lina is in no hurry either. She returns in the twilight, accompanied by a small pony laden with goods. At my raised eyebrow, she explains,
"This's Butter, I borrow him from the baker's for shopping. You didn't expect me to bring all that on my back, did you?"
I didn't really think about the food shipping at all, but this seems a nice solution. Any kind of comment that I could make, however, drowns in Val's shriek,
"Oh wooooow, he's so cuuuute!"
Lina grins with a knowing look, and I get the idea that transport wasn't the only reason for Butter to appear here this evening. I stand aside as our smallest friend darts across the yard to hug the unsuspecting pony. I glance at Lina questioningly, I'm aware that horses can bite; but she waves me off. Clearly, this one is quite tame.
He proves to be, as he lets Val pat his, er, face? what do they call it with animals? Then, as Lina is finished unloading her bags, she helps Val climb on top of Butter and leads them around the corner of the house. There is no saddle, and I am slightly worried, but Lina seems unconcerned, so probably it's all right. And Val is shining with joy so much, I think I can hear it buzz. I follow them at a distance.
"Hey, Xellos!" comes Lina's voice. "Keep an eye on them while I take this stuff to the kitchen, okaaay?"
"Actually," I say quickly before she goes, "I'd rather you stayed here instead."
"Huh? But you don't know where to put which food. What's wrong anyway? It can't be that you're afraid of horses, right?" she sniggers.
"Nope," I smile, "but horses are usually afraid of me."
"Oh!" she claps a hand to her forehead. "Right! I forgot! Hm. All right then. Val, if you could climb off for a second..."
He is very unhappy to do so, but I can only tell it from his emotions in Astral. On the physical plane he simply nods and slides off.
"Okay," Lina takes a firm grip of the reins. "Now, Xellos, I should say Butter is the most indifferent issue of cattle that I have ever met. Get some sugar from that bag and try to approach him."
I don't really see the point of the whole thing – I know perfectly well that every horse rears up as soon as I get on its windward side, and then gallops away in front of its own neigh. Besides, this isn't even Lina's horse, it belongs to someone in the town, so why test its tolerance of me? But, whatever, if she wants... and since Val is safely on the porch... Why not.
I pick up several uneven pieces of brown sugar and start slowly walking toward the pony. He is chewing at the curb and seems to care less about me than he does about Saillune's charter of laws. As I come closer, though, he clearly smells the treat and bucks his head, sniffing loudly. Val giggles from between the sticks of the porch rails. Finally, I get into Butter's reach and immediately find his large lips groping at my hand. the sugar is gone in an instant. Butter sniffs at me seekingly, then returns to chewing the curb.
"See?" Lina exclaims, pride shooting in all directions from her in dangerous beams. "I told you he wouldn't care."
I have to agree.
So as Lina proceeds filling the kitchen with foods, Val and I entertain the pony. I wonder if there is a limit to how much sugar these things can eat; I'm quite confident there is no limit to how much sugar a boy of five is willing to feed to a pony. Luckily, at some point Lina takes away the bag with sugar altogether, and we switch to a more harmless riding. Butter is to stay here until morning when he will find his own way home. Lina doesn't even tie him, because 'he knows better than to go wandering at night'.
Val falls asleep at the table without having finished his pudding, and with his sweet tooth it's saying something. I carry him to his room with Lina following, and then I get a lesson in how to tuck a child in. Thankfully, my precious boy is fast asleep and flexible like a ragdoll, otherwise I'd be probably embarrassed. We tip-toe downstairs.
"Ne, Lina," I decide to ask a question that's been puzzling me for some time. "Why did you buy such a big house?"
"I kind of thought that at some point I'll have a family to store," she blushes slightly.
"A family?" was she going to invite Luna?
"Yeah, like husband and children, you know."
"Oh."
Now she is deep red.
"You're quite foresighted," I say, meaning that it's unusual for a girl to plan so far. She blushes even deeper if possible.
"You know, Xellos, I don't like this kind of hints. If there's something you want of me, just say it in plain words."
I blink at her, not exactly comprehending what she means. She sighs,
"I thought not."
"Sorry," I say because it feels like it should be. She waves me off.
"Anyway, how was the rest of the lesson in magic?"
"Great, he is very capable. How did you know he'd do better with Shamanistic spells?"
"I figured he'd do better with anything that is not stock beginner's stuff. It looks like his so-called teachers wanted to make sure he doesn't even try learning magic, and for that they probably cursed him lightly so that the simplest spells wouldn't work. Remember he said it hurt?"
I nod.
"Well, that's a well-devised way to drive him off magic. I am sure they meant it. Put the glass down before you break it, please."
She says the last sentence in exactly the same voice as the others, so it takes me a second to realise what she's going on about. Indeed, I have a glass of wine in my hand, and indeed, I'm squeezing it as if it were a Dragon throat. I do put it down.
"Lina. I want to pay them back."
"I know. So do I."
"What are we waiting for?"
"Well, I'm not sure. On the one hand I don't think Val will be happy at the idea that someone was murdered on his behalf. So if you set out to mince some reptiles, make sure you don't mention it to him. Then I kind of think we need Milgasia as an ally, just in case. I mean, we probably have no other allies, do we?"
"What about your friends?"
"Ah, yes, I almost forgot to mention. Zel and Amelia are having their official wedding this week. I am, of course, invited."
"Official?"
"Yeah, they actually married a month ago, but it takes time to bring all the honour guests together. What I mean to say, though, is that they are kind of preoccupied at the moment. Not exactly in the mood to protect the innocent and such. Besides, Zel flat out hates you, and Amelia might have her considerations about both you as a father and me as a mother. They can provide protection to Val, yes, but they are not exactly allies."
"Funny, I kind of thought human friendship..."
"Yeah, yeah, you thought right, usually it is above all. And if it comes to a fight or something, they will help us. It's just that... they won't be quite a relaxed environment for Val in case he has to stay with them."
I agree with a heavy heart. My poor boy, do you always have to face the whole world of enemies?
"What about Gourry?" I ask suddenly, even for myself. Something immediately tells me that I shouldn't have. Lina looks away with a seemingly indifferent face.
"What about him?"
"Isn't he a friend too?" well, if I tackled a painful topic, then tell me so. Otherwise I will pry.
"You must have missed the whole thing," she mumbles. Hm, that's possible. I haven't been around much after our last adventure together. What has that asshole done, anyway?
Lina sighs and proceeds to tell me exactly that; I can see the effort she makes to get over it.
"It's just that at some point it progressed from friendship to, you know... We got physical and all. At first I was all happy that I'd managed to get him into a relationship. We were seeing each other for several months, we actually almost married. And then, like in the flattest joke, I find out he was cheating."
I can't help gasping. Who in their right mind would cheat on Lina!
"Yeah," she shrugs. "He was, like, you're good, but I like chicks with boobs too. Well, it wasn't like I could go on being his girlfriend after that. Although I don't think he ever understood what he did wrong. Like, he's a real man, he's allowed to have several women."
I feel sick. How could anyone... my Lina... with any stupid ugly bitches... How could he touch her with the same hands!
"Okay, Xellos, come 'round. It's ancient history, you know. I'm just saying that I'm not exactly looking forward to meeting him."
She pats my arm in passing, then starts making tea. I can't even bring myself to respond; the whole idea seems too alien to even begin to come to terms with it. I still feel compelled to react somehow, so I come up to Lina from behind and hug her lightly around the shoulders. She snorts but doesn't pull away.
"Xellos, I'm fine, really. It was long ago."
"Then I am sorry for making you remember," I say. At least that I can discuss.
She draws her head back and onto my shoulder in an attempt to look me in the face, but I don't think she can see much; we are too close.
"Xellos, you of all people should be glad he hasn't married me," she says provocatively.
I consider it for a moment.
"I would have been, if he never broached the subject with you. But this way I simply can't understand how he could have anyone else on his mind when he was in love with you!"
There, at least I managed to blow off some of the indignation threatening to drive me violently mad.
"He never actually claimed to be in love with me," she says calmly. "He isn't exactly eloquent, as I'm sure you've noticed."
I have no idea why I suddenly feel week in the knees.
She finally pulls away to pour the tea for both of us, and we settle down at the table in silence broken only by the clatter of cups and teaspoons.
"S-so," I finally say as the silence becomes too unpleasant, "you are going to that wedding..."
"Yeah, I'm the maid of honour after all. It's Friday night. Will you be here to stay with Val?"
"Yes, I think I should be."
"Uhh, good. Although I kinda wish I could ignore the whole occasion."
"Why? Isn't it going to be entertaining?"
"Maybe, for most people."
"And you are, as usual, an exception?"
She snorts.
"Yeah, sure. It's just this whole dress-up issue. Fancy dresses are never comfortable, and vice versa. And the shoes... you know I hate heels, right? Besides, I am quite aware that my taste in clothes isn't exactly great. No matter how hard I try to pick something stylish, I still end up somewhat embarrassed. Of course, here, in Saillune they are used to me being eccentric, but still... I guess I'm getting too old for these things."
I smile a little.
"Someone's being grumpy," I tease. It's so odd that in some four or five years a human can change so much. She is still my Lina, of course, it's more like some of her characteristic features are giving way to others.
She shrugs and heads for the shower. I don't peep. There is nothing about her body that I haven't already seen. Or drawn. It's been a bloody trying day.
I am still in the sitting-room, leafing through Milgasia's scrolls, when she emerges in clouds of steam, wrapped tightly in a thick dressing-gown and several towels.
"You still here?" she is somewhat surprised.
"Yeah, I don't have anything better to do at the moment, and it doesn't really matter where to sit and read."
She enters her room, and one of the towels falls off her head. I teleport there and pick it up for her.
"Here, you dropped."
"Oh, thanks."
She sits on the bed drying her hair in that graceful posture of hers: head bent to one side, hands lost in the hair. I linger in the doorway, unwilling to tear my eyes off her. Finally, I bring myself to turn away and start walking back to my sofa, when her voice reaches me,
"Don't you want to stay?"
I process it for a second.
"There is nothing in the world that I want more," I say truthfully.
"Ah, then who am I to keep you from fulfilling your desires," she chuckles, and my whole essence tenses. She can't mean it, can she? Since when is she so casual? But the more my mind struggles with the idea, the more my body wants to believe it.
"Is this some kind of revenge on Gourry?" I try to get her to talk. I don't want to be used, even if I get to touch her for that. I have my dignity.
"Honestly, Xellos, do you have to spoil the moment?" she throws up her arms, exasperated.
"Sorry. It's just not exactly your style to..." I trail off.
She makes a face.
"I guess it isn't. But then, how would you go about it?"
I consider it. The most obvious answer is – I wouldn't. I don't trust myself to be gentle and thoughtful enough to please her, and I wouldn't risk losing the pleasure of her company for the sake of a few minutes of ecstatic delirium.
"You wouldn't," she answers for me. I guess I'm too obvious.
"No, I..." I have to say something reassuring, and quick! "I'm rather convinced I'm not good enough for you." Perhaps, I said it too quickly. She rolls her eyes.
"Honestly, Xellos, there is a difference between modesty and cowardice."
She thinks I am a coward! I slam the door, staying inside the room. She giggles.
"Quiet, you'll wake Val."
Oh great. I allowed myself to be provoked.
"You know," she continues casually, meticulously spreading some herbal cream over her hands, "I had to do several public speeches on various occasions, and learned that the first and basic rule of a Master of Ceremonies states 'never begin with apologising'. I kind of think it applies. I mean, I have some idea about the risks involved in..." she can't help blushing "sleeping with you, but I'd rather you behaved like you have everything under control. Ne?" she shoots me a quick questioning glance. "After all, I don't have eternity to wait until you learn all the tips of proper bedtime behaviour."
I feel twisted inside out and washed with soap. I love this blasted woman.
"Fine," I shrug nonchalantly, adopting the role-play attitude I use with women whom I need to lay for business reasons. The one I used to make Val. "The lady's wish is my law."
In a matter of minutes we are entwined in a hot little burrow under the blanket, her feverish and wet skin resilient under my palms. There is only one thing on my mind, let the world go to pot, I don't care as long as I have her.