Chapter 13: Chapter 13
I waste several hours trying to establish Milgasia's whereabouts. It looks like he decided to make it difficult for me on purpose, the old mean geezer. But I really need to talk to him, and just the fact that everyone in the temple seems to think the Elder is at home while he isn't – is not enough to discourage me. I simply have to look through Astral.
Normally I avoid it, because this way he can sense that I am looking for him, and my appearance won't be a surprise. But, well, this time, I guess, he has a right to be prepared. Maybe it's even better this way.
However he doesn't seem to have noticed me. He turns out to be on the premises of the abandoned Fire Dragon King Temple. Now, that's interesting. Does he always do some community work the day after a party? Really, the Dragons sometimes are so unbelievably against all logic...
I arrive at the edge of the temple's grounds, assessing how much damage it will do me to walk straight in – when I realise that the holy aura is almost gone. Looks like, having lost all the inhabitants, the temple stopped being such a strong white-magic fortress as it used to be. Well, all the better for me.
I cross the invisible border and stride to the entrance of the main building, marvelling at the grotesque but at the same time impressive Dragon architecture towering over me like a burnt-out candle covered in wax-streaks. I have never been here before, not so close at any rate. I wonder if perhaps this place should be turned into a museum...
I ascend the enormous staircase with a sense of irrational trepidation that doesn't allow me to teleport to the doors (which are simply gigantic). The right leaf is open, and I peer inside. It is dark in the temple, and the strong great sunbeam that passes through the door envelopes me in light, and I feel, oddly enough, like I am the source of it.
Milgasia is there all right – but not alone. Too bad, I didn't foresee that. But, ah, I'll invent some pretext to... wait. Two of the three of his companions are actually of my folk. And they seem to be fighting. Oh great!
Dropping the reverence, I teleport directly to the group. The fourth person on the scene is a young spotty Dragon obviously craving to prove himself to the Elder – he has just tried to shield him from an offensive spell. Naturally, Milgasia shoved him to the back, cursing under his breath because now he doesn't have time to cast a proper shield.
I stop the spell for him. The scene goes still like a good mime-play: I can hear the rustle of dust in the breeze and the sniffing of a mouse in the basement. The two Mazoku turn out to be from my own pack, which is good because it means no rumours will leak outside about my 'association with Dragons' or whatever. Zellas's folks are used to my antics.
"Just what do you think you are doing?" I ask them in a friendly voice.
"Why, sir," one of them masters words, "this one is a Dragon Elder. We just caught him here alone. Doesn't happen that often, you know. They are always hiding in sacred areas with guards and such..."
"That doesn't answer my question," I press lightly. No need to scare the boys; I don't want them to think I want to protect Milgasia.
"Well, we thought we could get rid of him while he's alone, that's what we were doing," clarifies the other one with an air of stating the obvious.
"And to what possible consequences would that lead?" I ask like in a school lesson. I actually conduct lessons in strategy and tactics for the younger mid-levels, but these two seem to have missed every single one.
"It would weaken the Dragons."
Oh how naïve can one get!
"No, sweetie," I smile unpleasantly watching him wince at my word-choice, "it would be a casus belli. Rings a bell?"
"Yes, sir, but... isn't that a good thing?"
I make a thoughtful face.
"With two Lords missing together with one-seventh of Ma-ou, and Lei Magnus still locked up? Well, if you are suicidal, here's your green street, but I still haven't finished a couple of books in this world."
"Oh," they breathe almost in unison. Poor devils. "What are we to do then?"
All right, this one is obviously smarter. I should keep an eye on him.
"Get lost and learn your lessons," I say in a fatherly voice (which lately has been very easy for me to adopt, and why would that be...)
"Yes, sir!" they chorus and vanish.
I stare at the empty space for a moment, then turn to Milgasia.
Who uses this moment for an educative wakener to his companion.
"Never try to shield me," he growls. "Never again!"
The boy is so scared (presumably, of me), he doesn't even reply. Milgasia turns to me.
"Are you watching me?" he starts out with an attack.
"No, you are just lucky. I've been looking for you for a talk."
"Really, Xellos. As if I don't owe you already."
A gasp on the side of the boy shows that so far he didn't know who I was. Well, nice to meet you too. I purse my lips.
"Actually you don't, but that is not the issue here."
Milgasia is clearly tired, I wonder how long this has been going on.
"Are you intact?" I ask conversationally, even though I have to keep my Astral body from churning at the ridiculousness of the question. Milgasia stares which doesn't make it easier.
"What do you want?" he demands, rather unnerved.
"It's not about my wishes," I say.
"Really? Whose then?"
I look at him closely, trying to communicate the idea, but he wouldn't receive. I sigh.
"Who's the boy?" I nod at the Elder's companion.
"My apprentice."
I look away and swallow all the hurtful comments that spring to my mind. Milgasia has found himself another kid to care about, well, that's none of my business. No wonder he was so livid when the kid tried to protect him – to be a cause of another adolescent death is just what Milgasia needs. And since when do I relate to these things?
"How trustworthy is that?" I turn to practical matters instead.
"Totally."
"Which means he knows about the mysterious disappearance?" I smirk as Milgasia looks down.
"Not yet."
"Then how am I supposed to talk?"
"Oh come on, Xellos. I am sure you can state your reason for seeking me out without causing a local earthquake."
Wow, he actually wants me to speak in hints rather then tell his apprentice that Val is innocent? Cool. But, ah, perhaps it's all about discretion. I shouldn't work myself up now. That wouldn't make anyone happier. Let's summon some humility.
"Last time when we talked, I was in a state. I would've said anything to make you miserable. You should have ignored me."
The Dragon shrugs.
"What you said was true, even if unpleasant."
Oh no. Oh no no no! Don't tell me I'll have to convince you now that your presence in Val's life won't harm him! How am I supposed to do that!
"Come on, Milgasia, you should know better than to agree with the insults of an angry demon."
"You didn't seem angry."
"We both know that I did. Otherwise you wouldn't have told Lina that you think I'm going crazy."
His eyes snap up.
"Ah, so Inverse has already reported our chat, hasn't she?"
"I am part of her life, and you are just an acquaintance. Of course she told me."
"Xellos, she is just one of your obedient marionettes, nothing else, and you know it..."
Milgasia continues mumbling some nonsense, but my attention is drawn to the youngster at his side. The boy's stomach hurts like hell, and he is almost driven out of his wits hiding it.
"Hey, are you injured?" I ask, cutting across Milgasia's rant.
"No," he manages in a rough voice.
"Missed lunch then?"
"What do you want, Xellos?" Milgasia is getting irritated. He hates to be interrupted.
"He's hurting," I nod at the boy.
"And you care because?.."
Oh damn these creatures. Of course he is more concerned with my reasons to care than with the boy's state! Okay, Xellos, you are not going to rub his face in it...
At this moment the young Dragon can't stand it any longer, and collapses to the ground with a heart-rending scream. Sure enough, now Milgasia darts to his side trying to figure out what's wrong. I know what's wrong. Obviously, my guys had sent a curse like the one I stopped, even before I appeared. Milgasia is checking pulse, but that is useless. As well as the healing spells he tries to apply. This curse makes one impervious to white magic. The old Dragon is sweating; he doesn't know what it is and how to deal with it. The young one is going to die in less than half an hour. And I care because?..
"Check if his eye-whites are bluish," I say heavily. There is a 'must do' and a 'want to do', but I don't know which is which.
"They are... do you know-" he turns to me, all hope. He is going to try and buy the information, but it won't help, he won't have the time.
"Wait," I spit. I have a potion for it. It takes me a couple of seconds to teleport there and back again, with a small bottle. It takes all of my willpower, and I feel raped.
"Here," I dump the contents of the bottle into the young Dragon's mouth. He still has the nerve to fight me and scream something about poison. They are so predictable.
It takes effect in a minute. The boy is spread on the temple floor, breathing heavily. I feel his pain recede. Milgasia's hunched form lifts a haunted face up to me. Of course. Now he is going to go on about how even I am better than him when it comes to children. Now way, I've had enough for one day. I speak before he has a chance, taking advantage of the poor state of the youngster: with luck he isn't listening.
"Val misses you. Whatever your qualities are, he wants to see you. Lina is there to make sure he is well, so no need to freak out. I promised to him that you'll visit again, so save both of us the trouble of kidnapping."
With that I vanish, knowing that the amount of good I have done today is just going to hit home.
Firstly, I try to take it out on some innocent people. After all, it helps splendidly when you have an overdose of positive emotions. I find a local-scale feud and join in, increasing the bloodshed by an order. A brother stabs a brother, the captives are tortured, the wives and maidens are raped... but nothing seems to help today. No matter how much negativity is in the air, I can't relax and enjoy myself. And when one of the front-line warriors breaks into a house of an enemy and raises a hand to his preteen son... I kill the man before he has time to be surprised. No way. I can't do it anymore. I flee the battlefield.
Perfect. So now I can't even enjoy someone else's misery if there are children involved. And what next? I continue dating Lina and then I can't stand seeing a woman being harassed?
And still the wave of some cruel, self-destructive energy is threatening to descend upon me and pull the remains of my conscience away into a deadly whirlpool. I am balancing on the edge. I have to do something, and quick. Why didn't it help to absorb the negative emotions of those people?
The answer was obvious even before I tried – I just didn't want to accept it. It wasn't the positive emotions of others that brought me into this state. They were my own. And my good deeds. Does it mean... to get over it I have to make myself miserable somehow? Or at least angry? But that is exactly what I am trying to avoid! I don't want to have another seizure like that time... I wish I could just skip to the next stage where I can get Lina and Val and have some fun!
Oh, but didn't she tell me to come to her if I do any good again? I shall do exactly that.
Today is simply not my day. As soon as I materialise at Lina's estate, I know that the threat of guests has become reality all too soon. Both Zelgadiss and Amelia are comfortably settled in Lina's armchairs, engaged in small talk. I grit my teeth and muster my brand idiotic smile, not betraying a bit of my inner vortex.
"Ah, Xellos-san!" Amelia jumps to her feet. "It's been such a long time!"
"Indeed, Princess, indeed," I bow lightly, feeling like I can explode any second. "Shall I express my congratulations?"
Her cheeks grow warm.
"Oh thank you!" she beams. If I could vomit... but better not to think about it.
"I am kind of surprised," drawls Zelgadiss, "that you didn't come to the party yesterday, to enjoy all that humiliation."
"I don't recall being invited," I shrug.
"Oh, really. As if it stopped you before."
"Did you miss me?" I smirk at his pursed lips. Unfortunately my little victory is spoilt by a pounding pulsation that suddenly seized my whole being. I can barely maintain a calm decorum.
Zelgadiss is getting used to my taunting: he doesn't even budge.
"I just wonder what you are plotting this time."
"Zelgadiss-san!" Amelia is rightful, as usual. "You shouldn't say such things!"
"Why not, Amelia, isn't it a pattern? I see Xellos – I know trouble is coming."
And finally the pain comes. I don't know how I manage to stay upright.
"Is Lina at home?" I ask not very smoothly.
"Do you think we came in through the window?" Zel sneers. Damn you, bloody git!
"Where is she?" I won't be able to stand it for another minute. I can barely see at all.
"What's with the rush?" he smirks.
I wish I could kill him, but now I don't think I can raise an arm. Thank Heavens – Lina comes into the room.
"We need to talk," I say without any preludes, and make a dash for the nearest door, meaning for her to follow. She does, without a word.
"What's up?" she asks as soon as the door is closed.
"It happened again," I breathe, sinking to the floor. "Like that time... with doing good... It hurts like hell, and I'm almost blind."
She crouches down and hugs me.
"Did you quarrel with Milgasia again?"
"No, I actually helped him. I did some extremely good things. I think I'm going to black out..." I am feeling so weak, and the pain is so strong...
"Stay with me, Xellos! Did you want to do those good things?"
"Not sure..." my lips barely move. "I could do it... or ignore it... one I wanted, the other... the other I had to do. I don't know which was which... and which was right."
"I can tell that you wanted it, and it was the right thing to do."
"No... Lina... It's... I..." I don't know if she understands me any longer. "We don- 'ave freewill."
"That's crap, Xellos, of course you have free will! If you didn't have it, you wouldn't suffer now!"
I don't remember anything else.
Lina has a very nice and elegant night light in the shape of a dancing crane who holds an orb of light in its beak. I wonder if it's the light that makes my upper body so unnaturally hot. But then I feel some movement – around my left shoulder. Something slides down my arm, then returns to the collarbone and repeats its way down. Vision and astral senses are fighting about which one should be applied first to find out what's happening to me, and vision wins, simply because I have to know if I can see yet.
Turns out, I can. I see a mop of hair glowing orange in the dim light. I smile and catch Val's hand with my own. He jumps – of course, he was probably dosing off.
"Dad!" he gasps, face splitting with a smile. "Are you okay!"
"Yeah," I produce in an unconvincing hoarse whisper. It's really embarrassing that I fell sick here and made him worry about me. I don't want him to worry about anything in the whole world, and I myself should be ever-powerful and unfaltering. I wish Lina didn't let him in here.
"I knew you'd be okay!" he says firmly. "I mean, you wouldn't leave me, right? So I knew you'd come back no matter what."
Well, that faith is damn really reassuring. I clear my throat making it sound like laughter.
"Thanks, Val. I'm glad that you trust in me so much."
He hugs me, threatening to suffocate, and I know that he was dead worried, but doesn't want to show it. I wonder if Lina told him what to say when I come to my senses. It would be just like her to try and convince me that it's all right to black out and make your kid dose off patting your shoulder and praying for your health.
"You should probably call your mother," I say absently.
He stares at me with round eyes, and then it dawns on us simultaneously.
"You mean, Lina? Okay!"
"Yeah, sorry for confusing you," I smirk. There is no way back out of this whole thing.
Val is off and then back again before I can blink, and Lina is at his heels.
"Hey, how are you?" she asks joyfully, as if I don't know she was worried.
"Awake," I make a face.
"How many fingers?" she shows me her hand in a fussy middle-aged-healer-like manner.
"Three. Do you have to do it now?" I really don't want Val to know I was partially blind. I mean, why not just tell him that I'm a total psycho wreak who can't take care of himself, much less of a small child!
I expect her to tell me that I shouldn't hide things from Val, and brace myself for an argument, but instead she strokes my hair and kisses me on the cheek. How am I supposed to interpret it?
"Relax, hon, better tell us what happened. You see, Val had to go without a bed-time story tonight, so now is your chance to make up for it," she chuckles.
I smirk, although I still don't feel very humorously, and sit up a little straighter against the pillow.
"Milgasia has got himself an apprentice," I begin, watching Val closely.
"Yeah," he says, "Khalia, he's very good with water magic."
Well, good that this is no shocking news. Or maybe Val doesn't know that the old Dragon cares about his apprentice. Or maybe no one but me can see grounds for jealousy here.
I also wonder if it would have made any difference if I knew the kid's name.
"Well, the two of them were visiting the Fire Dragon King temple which is now no longer protected by holy powers, and got in a fight with two Mazoku. The boy got cursed."
"Is he okay?" Val asks instantly. Well, at least he has the right priorities, unlike Milgasia and me.
"Yeah, I... I gave him a potion for it."
Lina seems to gather what stands behind my hesitation, and nods.
"What happened to the Mazoku?" asks Val, not allowing me to continue my silent communication with Lina.
"I told them to go away."
"And they did?" he gasps disbelievingly.
"Of course they did," I rather snap than say, "they have to obey me."
He doesn't notice my sharp tone.
"Wow, that's cool!"
"No, Val," I sigh. "It isn't. It's just the way things work. I am a high-level Mazoku, and they are lower. They do what I say because they have no choice."
He thinks about it for a moment while Lina reaches out to pat my knee.
"But it's still better than if you had to kill them," Val says.
I snort.
"Well, yeah, naturally."
"But Milgasia-sama couldn't just tell them to go, he had to fight them, right?"
"Right. But he isn't their boss. I mean, if I needed to shoo away a couple of Dragons-"
"-You would've just told them to go away, and they'd obey," he continues with conviction.
Well. Damn, yes.
"It's not necessarily a good thing, you know," I shrug. "They are just afraid of me."
"But you saved Khalia," he points out. What is this talk about, huh?
"I did, but it doesn't mean I-"
...wouldn't kill him tomorrow if need be? Ha! I couldn't see him die from someone else's curse, and I'm so sure I can raise my own hand to him? No way. And I don't even care about him personally.
"It means you are great," Val concludes, and I am forced out of my thoughts with such an impact that I actually sway forward a little.
"I know you love me," I squeeze through gritted teeth.
He beams like a late spring sun after a rainy morning, there is so much emotion in his face. He isn't even a bit embarrassed to admit how much he depends on me. He doesn't want to stop depending. He is actually looking up to me, even after all the worry I caused him.
Uninvited, an image of Khalia shielding his master surfaces in my mind – he didn't stop respecting Milgasia just because the man couldn't cope with two Mazoku, each of whom can slay a couple dozen Dragons without much trouble. He hated me, like all the Dragons do, but he didn't hate his Elder for using my help. I'd be very surprised if he accused Milgasia of turning dark and associating with me. So why do I expect Val to accuse me? And of what exactly? Of saving a life? Or of hesitating to do so? Or of not knowing which one is good or bad?
But I know which one is bad. It's just against the code of my race, to do good. It is even more against the code of my race, to want Val to love me. The line is crossed. there is no going back. I can as well take holy orders, and start running a healing practice. I mean, aside from the rules, there is nothing to compel me to do evil anymore. I don't have the need. I actually have the need not to do evil.
The only question is, how am I going to sustain myself if negative energy isn't working anymore?
A/N: Hi! I'm speeding down due to exams. The end of December is going to be a dead period, sorry.
There wasn't much of the old gang here, but there will be more in the next chapter. Also, Lina and Val are starting out on the road!
I remind you that the first reader to review gets to define a thing to happen in the next chapter. Please don't disappear! I like it interactive.