Hey, all! You may have read this chapter already and that's because I very briefly took it down because I hated it and wanted to edit it and then I decided to just keep it the same. Again, stuff gets extremely lewd (and may very well be the most terrible thing I've ever written), but this time I've marked it so you can skip it if you want. Stuff's going to get a lot more fluffy soon with the holidays coming up (not sure if I'll write out Thanksgiving, but Christmas is going to be fun). Hopefully you lovelies enjoy! ~Shaymie
"Lo, there's a letter for you." Alex walked into the kitchen, where Martha, Gil, and I were planning Thanksgiving dinner. Darcy was supposed to help, but her job interview had gotten moved up an hour. She had dashed out of the house, carrying her heels in one hand and applying makeup with the other. I hoped that she wouldn't crash Gil's car on the way there. I looked up from the paper and up at Alex, my gaze falling on the forest green cast on his left arm. It was my fault. If he hadn't tried to fight King and Seabury because of me, he wouldn't have fallen and hurt himself.
"Is it a therapy bill?" I asked, frowning. I had been going to therapy three times a week for the past few weeks. I didn't want to go. I really didn't want to go. But the slip-up in the alley led to another one. Then two more after that. George and Darcy both threatened to drag me off to therapy. John and Gil begged me to go. It wasn't until Alex had begged me, in tears, to see someone that I decided to go. I wasn't going for myself. I couldn't care less about what happened to me. But I couldn't stand seeing Alex cry.
"I don't think so." He sat next to me and kissed my cheek as he handed me the envelope. The first thing I noticed was the return address. Texas. I hadn't talked to anyone from home since I had left with Mama almost ten years ago. Why would someone from Texas be sending me letters? There was no name on the envelope except for mine. My hands shook as I tore open the envelope.
My dear Lorin,
I know you must hate me, and I honestly wouldn't blame you. I let your father hurt you. I let him touch you in ways he never should have. I gave you up because I couldn't handle the stress of being a mother. Words can't describe how sorry I am for everything I've done-
I couldn't read anymore. I crumpled up the letter and threw it to the floor. I already knew who it was from, and it pissed me off. How could my mother think she could just waltz back into my life out of nowhere? Any apologies she had were worthless. I had done everything she wanted. I shut up when she told me to. I didn't complain when she uprooted our entire lives and moved us to New York. I didn't say anything when she brought home a different man every night to pay the bills. I was the perfect child. So why did she give me up? Was I not good enough for her?
Alex smoothed out the letter and put it back on the table. I glared at it. I didn't want to see it anymore. The loopy handwriting reminded me of all the times I'd have to fake my mother's signature just to go on a field trip, because I refused to sit around at school all day while everyone else got to have fun like a normal kid. I wanted to fit in with everyone else, but I couldn't, because I could barely even talk. Because I didn't have nice clothes and the fanciest new toys. Because I didn't have a mother that cared.
I had a mother who came home drunk almost every night, with a different man each time. I had a mother who'd let my father molest me just to save her own skin. I had a mother who'd let her drunk boyfriends kiss me just so that they'd pay her a few extra bucks. I had a mother who gave me up on my tenth birthday because I was nothing but a burden, a waste of space that didn't contribute anything, didn't help pay the bills.
Angry tears formed in my eyes. She had no right sending that letter. I knew what she was like. She'd try to find a way to pin the blame on me and make herself look like the victim. She'd make me feel bad for her. I had gone seven years without her in my life. I didn't need her. I had moved on, and she should too.
"Lo…"
"I'm going upstairs." I wiped at my tears and shivered as I stood up. Alex tucked the letter back in the envelope and followed me. I bit back a sigh. The new rule was that I couldn't be alone anymore. Everywhere I went, somebody had to be with me. Alex and I alternated between whose room we slept in, though some nights we ended up not sleeping at all. Alex had been a bit more willing to sleep with me once I started therapy, though he made sure to constantly remind me that it wasn't my job.
"Don't forget George has a surprise for you later," Martha called as we went upstairs. "And don't forget to use protection if you two do the hanky-panky!"
"Got it, Mom!" I yelled back, my face growing hot. Alex chuckled behind me as I walked into my room and threw myself onto the bed. He set the letter on my desk and sat next to me, wrapping a blanket around my shoulders when I started trembling. I let out all the tears I had been trying to hold back. I'd been trying to forget everything my father had done to me. I'd even succeeded and kept most of it locked up in a little box at the back of my brain. I'd managed to forget the way he'd creep into my room at night, telling me if I was a good little girl and stayed quiet, he wouldn't hurt Mama that night. I did what he wanted to, because I loved her. She had done so much to keep Dad away from me, the least I could do was try to protect her for once.
And then I told Darcy. I hadn't known that what my father was doing was wrong, so I couldn't understand why she had looked at me with such sad eyes. I couldn't understand why she had hugged me so tightly, tears shining in her eyes. I couldn't understand why she had apologized. Wasn't it a daughter's job to do what her parents wanted? Wasn't it a woman's job to pleasure the man in her life? My mother hadn't been able to do it, so I picked up the slack for her so she wouldn't get punished. Because I was a good daughter. Because I had always done exactly what they wanted. So why wasn't that enough?
"I… I did everything they wanted," I sobbed as Alex pulled me into his lap and let me cry into his chest. He rubbed my back soothingly and pulled the blanket around me tighter. I grabbed a handful of his shirt and curled into him. "Why is nothing I do ever good enough? Why can't I do anything without messing it up? It isn't fair, Alex!"
"Lo…"
"I let him touch me because he said he wouldn't hurt Mama, but he lied! He kept hurting her and he kept touching me! I didn't know what else to do, so I told Darcy… That was when Mama started hating me, wasn't it? I got Dad arrested and then we had to move and it was all my fault!"
"Lorin, none of that is your fault," Alex murmured, wiping my tears away with his thumb. "You did the right thing by telling your sister. I don't know exactly what your father did to you, but I have a pretty good idea. That fucker deserves to be locked up."
"...Is it normal to hate my mother? I… I mean, she was never really there for me, and I don't understand how Darcy can still say that she loves her. She didn't have to deal with her, I guess. She didn't know how bad she really was," I hiccuped through my sobs and tried to calm myself down. Alex kissed the side of my face and pulled me closer to him. I stiffened as my chest pressed against him, feeling myself get excited even though it was just an innocent hug.
"I don't think you're required to love your mother. If she treated you like shit, you have the right to be mad at her," Alex said gently. He frowned when I backed away from him and put my hands in my lap. "What's wrong, Lo?"
"I, um… It's nothing." My face flushed. I hated the brief time before my period, when everything in my body was just a bit too sensitive. It made me feel like a whore, even though Martha had told me it was perfectly normal. She said it was something about hormones... or something like that. I hated it because it was the time of the month when James and Maria would be the roughest with me.
"It's your body telling you that you need to be fucked," they'd say as they did whatever they wanted with me. I'd nod along numbly, not even feeling the pain they'd inflict on me. There was only so much pain my body could take until it just went numb. It pissed Maria off when I didn't react to the belt lashes. James normally stopped her before she took it too far, but there had been times where she would hit me one too many times and I'd pass out.
"Something's bothering you, Lo." Alex kissed my cheek, sending shivers down my spine. "And I feel like it's my duty as your boyfriend to find out what it is."
"It's just my period. I get a little weird before it starts. Everything gets really sensitive and I, um..."
"Oh." Alex frowned and looked down at me, his face conflicted. "Lo, we don't have anymore condoms-"
"I can handle it on my own!" I squeaked, my face getting redder. I couldn't believe we had gone through Gil's entire supply. He was going to make so much fun of us later. He'd probably laugh the entire way to the store. "But… not in front of you. That would be embarrassing. I know we've already slept together, but touching myself is… different."
"I could handle it. If you wanted me to, that is. You know, you're not supposed to be alone and since I'm already here… You don't have to if you don't want…"
"Please…" I didn't want to have to go downstairs like this, when Gil and Martha were there. I didn't want them to see me while I was such a mess. Alex stared at me in silence for a few seconds. And then he was on me, his lips pressing against mine violently. His kisses went down to my neck (I bit my lip at the feeling-he knew how much I loved that), and then down to my chest. His hands expertly unbuttoned my shirt and pulled down the cups of my bra. His lips wrapped around my nipple, eliciting a loud moan from me. He grinned as he slipped my pajama pants off.
XXX
"I love hearing that," he murmured, pushing my panties to the side and slipping a finger inside of me. My hand tangled in his hair as he slowly moved his finger in and out of me, eventually adding a second and even a third. I was in heaven. Between his lips assaulting my breasts, his fingers pumping in and out of me at an increasing pace, and his thumb occasionally rubbing against my sensitive bud, I didn't know what I loved most.
Then his fingers curled in, and I was off like a rocket, my breath coming out in heavy pants. I bit down on his shoulder to muffle my scream, but I was sure everyone downstairs could still hear anyway. Alex focused all his attention on my little button, his lips sucking furiously on my breasts. I tugged at his hair as he prolonged the amazing feelings and wondered how good he was with his tongue.
"L-Lexy…" I groaned as he just kept rubbing. I could feel myself already about to reach another peak. That had never happened before, not so soon after the first. His lips went back to my nipple, his free hand going up to grope my free breast. I arched my back up, wanting to offer him more of me. I never wanted this to end. Was this what it was like to receive pleasure for a change? I could have never made myself feel so good with just my fingers. I couldn't care less if anyone heard me at this point. "God, Lexy, I'm so close… Faster, Lexy! Rub me faster!"
"That's so sexy, Lo. I love when you beg like that." He bit down, causing me to gasp. How could pain feel so good? His fingers started rubbing faster. I bucked my hips up to him, desperate for release. "Let go for me, Lo."
XXX
"Fuck me, Daddy!" I screamed, seeing stars as tremors took over my body. Alex finally stopped his assault on my breasts, giving them each a final kiss before fixing my clothes. He withdrew his fingers from me, and I couldn't resist taking them into my mouth. He moaned as I suckled on his fingers, and I noticed a very obvious bulge in his pants. I'd have to take care of that.
"D-Did you just call me…?" he gasped out, licking his lips as I released his fingers. I blushed. I hadn't meant to say that. Everything had been happening so fast and it was so intense, the word had just slipped out.
"I… guess?" I yawned. I felt exhausted, but I had to help Alex. It was the least I could do after all the pleasure he had given me. I put a hand on his crotch and frowned when he pushed me away. Didn't he want me? He kissed my nose and set me down onto my pillows. I snuggled into him.
"You should rest, sweetie. You look exhausted." I sighed, but reluctantly nodded. I'd have to have some more fun with him later. I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep, sweaty and satisfied.
I woke up to something fuzzy tickling my nose. I batted at it gently and shivered when something wet ran across my hand… A tongue. My eyes shot open. I squealed when I saw a small brown and white puppy lying next to me on the bed. There was a note on my bedside table, and I reached over to read it, my hand lightly brushing over the puppy's head.
Happy belated birthday, Lorin. I hope you like your present. She doesn't have a name yet, so I hope you pick a good one. Love always, Geor-Dad.
"I'll name you Dumpling," I smiled, hugging her to my chest.