Chapter 3: The Elrics Make Their Stand
Chapter 3: The Elric Brothers Make Their Stand
In a jungle, two humanoid-aliens with octopus like heads and wearing what looked like gladiator armor with particularly large shoulder, thigh, and crouch guards rides alongside a cliff some type of hovering vehicle called a Cargo. One of them is in front driving the Cargo with the steering stick. The other is sitting in the back along with the freight they were carrying with the Cargo; a huge glowing red stone.
"Hurry up!" the passenger ordered.
"This thing is driving as fast as it can go, shut up!" the driver snapped in retaliation.
Not too far from them, hidden from their view by the trees, are more of their comrades, though not all of them looked like they did. In fact, the foot soldiers were very diverse in looks, ranging from looking completely human except for blue skin and orange hair to humanoid purple lizards. All of them, however, wore the same type of armor, along with monocles that covered their left eyes.
However, the soldiers in the jungle are fighting…and losing, to a suit of armor. No, not somebody wearing a suit of armor, but a suit of armor actually moving on its own. After dispatching all of the peons, the suit of armor leaps past the trees into the clearing, only the see the two underlings in the Cargo driving away on a dirt road.
"Wait, come back here!" the suit of armor cries out in a surprisingly un-angry tone. The suit of armor sounds very child-like.
"This oughta take care of you!" the passenger foot soldier declared as he shoots three ki blasts from his hands.
"…Brother…" the suit of armor calls out with a slight hint of fear.
"Got you covered, Al," said a boy who suddenly runs out of the jungle and jumps into the air. The boy was a rather short (but NEVER say that to his face) 15-year old with blond hair and a ponytail. He wore a red jacket over his all-black uniform, along with black boots, white gloves, and black pants. He also had a prosthesis right arm and left leg, both made out of metal.
The boy claps his hands together, and his prosthesis arm suddenly transforms into a mini-cannon. He fires two shots from it and destroys two of the ki blasts. The third one, however, still approaches the two brothers.
"Um, Ed, you missed one," Al informed.
"Don't worry, Al, I got this," Edward ensured him. He fires again, taking out the last ki blast, just in the nick of time. Ed lands and transmutes the cannon back to an arm, looking ahead to see the Cargo getting away.
"So who were those guys anyway?" Al asked his brother.
"How should I know," Ed shrugged. "Those were the ugliest chimeras I've ever seen! I also have no idea why they led us out here into this jungle. But the one thing I do know is that, somehow, these guys have a complete Philosopher's Stone, and we haven't come this far just to quit now. We're finally going to get our bodies back, Al."
And so, the two brothers trek off after the Cargo, defeating any "chimera" that got in their way. After many battles, Ed and Al finally reach an open space in the heart of the jungle.
"The Philosopher's Stone!" they both yelled out. Sure enough, the stone is right in front of them, completely unguarded.
"Yes! After all this time, we finally found it!" Ed exclaimed.
But Al wasn't quite as enthusiastic. "Something's not right here," he realized. "Why would they just leave the stone out here in the open where we can easily find it? Unless if…"
"…That's right, you pathetic humans, IT'S A TRAP!!" came a voice behind them.
The Elric brothers turn around to see a slim, short, (yes, another short guy!) humanoid figure with a lizard-like tail. His skin was all-white, except for the top of his head, shoulders, forearms, chest, and shins, which were all purple. He looked at the two alchemists with his black lips curved into a smirk.
"Oh, and by the way, the stone's a fake," Frieza taunted.
"Look, pal, I have no idea who you are or what you want with us, but you're going to pay for jerking us around like this!" Ed threatened.
"Ha! You fool! I am the supreme overlord of the entire galaxy! What's a little shrimp like you going to do to me?" Frieza mocked.
Al barely has time to grab Ed by the jacket before he goes completely postal on Frieza.
"WHO ARE YOU CALLIN' A LITTLE SHRIMP, YOU LITTLE SHRIMP!? YOU'RE NOT EXACTLY A GIANT YOURSELF, YOU KNOW!! I'LL WRAP THAT TAIL AROUND YOUR NECK AND GIVE YOU A NEW PAIR OF SHOULDERS!!"
As Al restrains a berserk Edward, Frieza pulls out a Dark Cannon from hammerspace and prepares to fire. Al takes notice and manages to throw the enraged teenager just before the cannon goes off.
"Al?" Ed says, suddenly coming out of his rage. He looks down just in time to see Al get shot and trophified by the Dark Cannon.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAL!!" Ed cried desperately before twinkling in the sky.
Meanwhile, on open plains, Goku and Yusuke are on the Mysterious Minister's trail. Goku had teleported himself and Yusuke back to the Human World, and now the minister was just ahead of them, carrying with him another Shadow Realm Bomb.
"Yo, Robes!" Yusuke calls out to the minister while in pursuit. He springs into the air, reaching for the Shadow Realm Bomb, but narrowly misses. Goku rises from behind Yusuke, lands and jumps off his head, and still doesn't quite reach the bomb. They both land (in Yusuke's case, painfully) and can only watch as the minister gets away.
"Goddamn it, Goku! What did you jump on my head for!? Can't you fly!?" Yusuke complained, struggling to get up.
"Oh yeah," said Goku as of like he just had an epiphany. "I guess I'm just so hungry that I wasn't thinking straight."
Yusuke facefaults and somehow flips onto his back. "And Genkai calls ME a dimwit!" he grouched.
Edward swings through the jungle vines in a hurry. He only has one objective in his mind now.
"Don't worry, Al. I'm coming to rescue you," he thought to himself.
However, Ed didn't have much sense of direction in the thick jungle. He eventually ends up in a clearing next to a lake. Not far from Ed was the crashed Swordfish II that attacked the Kaiba Craft 3.
"What's that?" Ed wondered. "Is that some kind of vehicle? It looks heavily damaged though. However, I might be able to repair it with my alchemy and then I can use it search the jungle faster."
Before Ed can take three steps towards the downed spacecraft, something huge splashes out of the nearby lake. It was a long creature with two distinct halves. The front half looked like the upper body of a human woman with six arms, long fangs (especially the two front teeth), nearly pupil-less eyes, and a freakishly long tongue. The lower half looked like the body of a giant centipede.
"WHERE IS THE SHIKON JEWEL!?" Mistress Centipede demanded.
"The WHAT!?" Ed yapped, completely confused.
Mistress Centipede fires a large blast of demonic energy into the Swordfish, causing a small explosion.
"GIVE ME THE JEWEL!" she continued.
"I have no idea what you're talking about, lady!" Ed said truthfully.
Before Ed knew it, the demon snatches him from the air and flies back over the lake.
"I SHALL HAVE THE SHIKON JEWEL!"
As Ed cowers in her arms, the cockpit of the Swordfish II pops open, and the ship's pilot ejects high into the air. Mistress Centipede only has enough time to stare in awe before the pilot zooms by lightning fast, so fast that he leaves behind after-images, and frees Ed from her clutches.
As they both land, Ed gets a good look at his rescuer; a tall and thin man with fluffy dark-green hair and reddish-brown eyes, the right one being a lighter shade than the left. He was wearing a blue leisure suit with a yellow shirt, a tie, and a pair of boots. His name was Spike Spiegel.
"Fluid as water," Spike said simply.
Mistress Centipede gathers energy into her mouth, preparing a shot of energy directly aimed at Spike. Spike calmly pulls out his Jericho 941 and shoots the demon between the eyes, knocking her back into the lake.
"Man, that was anti-climatic," Ed stated the obvious.
"Well that takes care of that," Spike declared as he walks off. Ed grabs his shirt and pulls him back.
"You gotta help me rescue my brother…" Ed pleaded until he notices Spike walking away again.
"Sorry, kid. Got a bounty to catch," Spike said.
Ed grabs him again, this time dragging Spike in the opposite direction. "We're coming, Al!" Ed shouted.
Spike sighs to himself. "And this is why one of the three things I hate the most is kids."
"Who're you callin' a kid? I'm 15 years old," Ed informed him.
"What? You're 15 and you're that short?" Spike inquired.
Spike had no time to ponder such questions, as Ed grabs him by the hair and swings him around wildly in over-exaggerated anime fashion.
"SHORT!? I'LL SHOW YOU SHORT!! I'LL BITE YOUR KNEECAPS OFF AND WE'LL SEE WHO IS SHORT THEN!! WHAT ELSE YOU WANNA CALL ME!? A HALF-PINT, BEAN SPROUT MIDGET!?"
After Ed was done dealing out his punishment, Ed and an unwilling Spike continued the search for Al and Frieza in the jungle, taking down more of Frieza's henchmen on the way. A long walk later, the two manage to find Frieza again.
"There you are, you bastard! Give me my back my brother!" Ed demanded.
Frieza, being uncharacteristically silent, merely holds his hand out and a circular-shaped red light is visibly seen traveling through his arm until it reaches the palm of his hand.
"What the?" Ed questioned.
"Watch out!" Spike warned.
They both barely have enough time to get out the way before a white beam attack is shot from the hand. The blast leaves a huge crater in the ground. Frieza's arm, which was completely blown off, somehow regenerates and prepares for a second shot.
"Man, that's powerful!" Spike said redundantly.
"I don't care if that move is strong enough to destroy the planet! I'm going to beat the snot out of this guy!" Ed declared boldly.
Transmuting a blade onto his auto-mail arm, Ed rushes Frieza, but the tyrant effortlessly dodges his swings. With a simple punch, Frieza sends Ed flying to the nearest tree several yards away.
"Guess it's my turn now," Spike figured. Frieza approaches him and throws a few punches at him, but Spike, with his natural swiftness along with his proficiency at Jeet Kune Do, is also no stranger to avoiding attacks. Spike tries to get a punch or kick in between Frieza's attacks, but Frieza blocks each one.
"Damn, you're fast!" Spike commented.
Frieza trips Spike with his tail and, in mid-fall, shoves him a good thirty feet.
"This isn't working!" said Ed frustrated. "He's too fast and powerful! If only there was a way to keep him still…"
"Oh, I can do that," Spike told him. "How long do you need?"
"Just a couple of seconds."
"Alright, then."
Spike strolls back over to Frieza, ready for Round 2. When Spike gets just outside of Frieza's arm reach, he goes for his gun, but it's knocked out of his hand by Frieza's foot before he can get it out. Spike scrambles for his fallen weapon and Frieza follows suit. When Spike reaches his gun, instead of bending down and picking it up, he unexpectedly turns around, grabs Frieza's arm, and flips him over onto his back.
"Now, Ed!" he barked.
Not needing to be told twice, Edward claps his hands and slams them into the ground. After a bright flash, a huge, poorly drawn cannon, at least two stories high, appears below Ed's feet, and aimed right at Frieza.
"This is for Al, you bitch!"
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!
As the dust clears, above the huge smear in the grass lays a trophified Frieza.
"There. You happy now?" Spike asked in a not-so-nice tone as he recovers his gun.
"Not until I find Al," Ed answered, jumping off the cannon. "But those were some pretty smooth moves there. You gotta teach me how to do that 'grabbing-people-by-the-arm-and-flipping-them-over' thing."
"Ugh, not again," Spike groaned.
"What was that?"
"Nothing," Spike lied. He pulls a worn out cigarette from his pocket and puts it in his mouth.
Noise coming from Frieza's trophy draws their attention. They see Frieza's trophy dissolving.
"What?! I didn't mean to kill him!" Ed exclaimed.
But as soon as he says that, he notices that the trophy was forming into little oval-shaped creatures.
"What the hell is this?" Ed protested. Spike's eyes open up slightly, intrigued. "I knew Masses could assume the shapes of others, but I didn't know that they could change their colors too," Spike shared.
Just as all of the Masses scatter, the duo sees a Dark Cannon arrow shot at them with just enough warning for them to move out of its trajectory. Frieza, the REAL Frieza, fires a second shot, which misses Ed's feet by inches, creating a small explosion.
"Oh, so there you are! So, are you going to fight us yourself this time, or are you going to use more creatures as your shield? Come and fight us like a man!" Ed dared.
But Spike, knowing the capabilities of the Dark Cannon, was certain that they weren't in a favorable situation. Spike gets a firm hold of Ed, conveys to Frieza a simple "Later!", and runs off a nearby cliff.
"Hey, what're you doing!? We have to rescue Al!" Ed complained as they fell.
"So they decide to flee like the cowards they are," Frieza insulted. "But no matter. I can squash those insects at anytime."
A/N: One point for Frieza. What will he do with Al? What is Ed and Spike's next move? Will Yusuke's head ever stop hurting? All of this will be answered…okay, so it won't, but read the next chapter anyway, okay?
Preview: The invaders target two mecha pilots, and the champion of a certain children's card game lends a helping hand, next time on the Shadow Realm Emissary!