Hello, my lovely readers. This chapter is about the noble Elijah. I love him more now due to TO but I shall mock him and TO unmercifully with a crazed storyline. On with the show…
Chapter 5: Charitable Works
Elijah Mikaelson felt an urge that he had never felt more than today of all days. It was the one day that he looked forward to with dread because he knew that he could never quite do the right thing. It was Easter. So few people understood that it was not about bunnies and chocolate, like all the other dread holidays. It was about the death of a man and honoring his acts.
Looking around his home in disappointment, Elijah shook his head. Hayley had decorated the house with bunnies to entertain her baby daughter who was not even born yet. That seemed a bit absurd to Elijah but he would not argue with her. Or maybe he would. Picking up a particularly large and offending furry animal, Elijah sped into the Klaus' study where he and Hayley were arguing.
"Hayley, what is the retail value of this… this thing?" Elijah demanded, shaking the bunny at her in rage.
"Ummm… I don't know," Hayley replied her eyes wide. "What are you so angry about? It's just a stuffed animal."
"Just a stuffed animal," Elijah roared and then cooled when Hayley walked back behind the desk and Klaus' chair to hide. "I assure you, for the money that you spent on this 'stuffed animal," he said quietly, "you could feed a quarter of an orphanage of children. Do you know how much a baby truly eats? Do you, Hayley? If you do not spend endless money on the formula that the average American spends. I will show you. We shall take all of these so called decorations back to the store, go to the local orphanage and feed the children."
Klaus began to laugh until Elijah's gaze landed on him. "You will be selling your paintings on auction this morning as well as anything that is not nailed down in this house. All will be going to the local museum. They have paid a goodly sum and all of that money is going to AIDS research."
"How dare you?" Klaus snarled at Elijah, getting to his feet, he made his way toward Elijah who simply pulled out a white oak samari sword.
"I would not if I were you, Niklaus, you know how I feel about this holiday," Elijah warned, dropping into a well-practiced stance. He had re-watched all of the Kill Bill movies and several Kurosawa works to prepare himself to do combat with Klaus.
Growling, Klaus sat down on his desk. "Fine, do as you wish, brother. I shall retire to my studio," he stated and moved to leave when Elijah held up a hand.
"I'm sorry, Niklaus. I must say that you cannot," Elijah replied slowly.
Klaus' eyebrows narrowed. "Why ever not? And I ask with deep dread of your answer."
Elijah sighed. "Father Kieran and I were speaking about the problem with the homeless today. And I agreed to make your studio into an apartment for a young family of twelve."
"What?" Klaus screamed and began to seethe, "I will eat them." Storming out of the room and toward his studio, Klaus entered his bedroom, slamming the door against the wall. He came face to face with a room full of screaming, crying infants and several young people trying to comfort the children.
"Dada," a toddler cried, stumbling toward Klaus with drool running down its chin.
"Grrrr," Klaus growled and the children became silent before they all ran toward him.
"Dada," the babies cooed and Klaus slammed the door shut.
Turning toward Elijah with a look of rage, Klaus glared at Elijah while holding the door closed as the children tried to reach him. "You said it was a young family of twelve," he snapped at Elijah.
Elijah pulled out his phone and began to look at his list. "Oh, dear. You're right. I was seemingly confused. This is the new daycare. Your bedroom is the apartment for the young family."
"What?" Klaus bellowed and then grabbed Elijah and bit him.
Sighing, Elijah pulled out a syringe and shoved it into his leg. "Ouch," he groaned.
"What was that?" Klaus demanded, staring at the syringe in rage.
"That would be a cure that I had a team of doctors make for your venom. I gave them permission to use our kitchen as their new laboratory," Elijah announced. "Oh, it looks like it's time to perform the ceremony."
"What ceremony?" Klaus inquired, his eyes narrowing into tiny slits.
"The wedding," Elijah replied, moving toward the stairs. "Have you seen Hayley?"
"What?" Klaus was still confused.
"Never mind. I'll find her," Elijah replied with a wave of his hand. "You see, I have found a way to get past our problem with the vampires and werewolves so that they may get along." Bouncing down the stairs, Elijah began to whistle as he entered the Great room. Josh was standing with Davina looking confused.
"What's going on?" Josh asked.
"Why are we here?" Davina added, her arms folded over her chest.
Elijah ignored them as the doorbell rang. "I will be with you in a moment." Waltzing toward the door, he threw it open to reveal Elena Gilbert, Bonnie Bennett, Jeremy Gilbert, the Salvatore brothers and some man that Elijah had never met before. He greeted all of them warmly as they walked inside and he led them toward the Great room.
"Why are we here?" Damon demanded when the doorbell rang again and Elijah held up his hands.
"Sorry, I must go," Elijah announced. "Can't have the wedding without the bride and groom." Pulling the door open, Elijah grinned widely as Klaus, who had followed him, growled. "Bekah, I am so glad you could come," Elijah greeted his sister.
"Why exactly am I here again?" Rebekah replied as Klaus glared at her, his hostility coming off him in waves.
"What is our dear sister, who I sent away forever, doing here?" Klaus demanded as Elijah pulled out a syringe and shoved it into Rebekah's neck. She turned to stare at Elijah in shook.
"I'm sorry, sister, I can't have you running off during the ceremony," Elijah said as she started to slide to the floor and Klaus caught her in time before she could meet the carpet.
"What did you do?" Klaus demanded when the doorbell rang again.
Pulling it open, Elijah smiled when he opened the door to reveal Marcel and Jackson, "Good. Now we may begin." Walking back to the Great room, Elijah clapped his hands together. "Is everyone ready to begin?"
"Begin what?" Damon yelled while Klaus glared up at Elijah who never broke in his merriment.
"He's finally snapped," Rebekah stated, folding her arms over her chest.
"It is time for the first wedding," Elijah stated and waved at Hayley who blinked in confusion. "Hayley. Marcel. Will you please join me over here?" Elijah continued to wave at the werewolf and the vampire.
Marcel's eyebrows knitted together and then it dawned on him. "What? You want me and the wolf to marry? Are you crazy?"
"That's what we've established," Rebekah retorted drily.
"I was afraid that you would not understand," Elijah said sadly. "But it's the only way. You see, for others to understand that there must be peace, they must see a union between the factions. What better way than through marriage. That's the way it used to be. Now, please, step aside, the movers are here for the furniture."
"Are you out of your mind?" Klaus snarled at Elijah who grinned back at him.
"Niklaus, I have a wedding present for you as well," Elijah announced and then he waved for someone to bring a box forward. A vampire began to pull the box open and then pulled a young woman out.
Klaus gasped, "Caroline?"
Caroline blinked slowly as if waking from a deep slumber. "Klaus, is that you? Oh, honey," she went running to Klaus and threw her arms around him. "I've missed you. Elijah says that we're to marry and then to run an orphanage in Kenya. I mean, I know that you said you wanted to show me the world but we'll live forever. We can start orphanages all over the world. And we can adopt tons of babies. I always thought you would be a good father, if you ever stopped being a psycho. But I swear that I know we can make this work."
Klaus looked to Elijah. "Did you compel her?" he asked, his eyes wide.
"Yes," Elijah replied. "I found out from my spies that Miss Forbes makes you into a nicer, gentler version of yourself. That is the only way that you can realize your true purpose on earth and to become the first vampire to run an orphanage rather than to eat an orphanage. I believe in you, Niklaus, you can do this."
Klaus' eyes began to fill with tears, "Thank, Elijah. No one has ever given me a better gift."
"Let me puke," Damon muttered when the doorbell rang again and Father Kieran was shown in by the unnamed vampire apprentice of Elijah's.
"It's time," Elijah announced. Clapping his hands. "Thank you, Father Kieran."
"Elijah, I'm not sure that this will work," Father Kieran replied slowly, looking at the room full of vampires.
"Don't worry, Father, I will kill anyone who tries to stop these unions," Elijah told him. "Now, Marcel. Hayley, where were we?"
Hayley tried to run but Klaus caught her and dragged her down the aisle.
"Get off of me, Klaus," she shrieked.
"Sorry, love, but it's for the best of the town." Klaus informed Hayley as she struggled and then a pair of men in lab coats pulled a subdued Marcel into the room.
"Dearly beloved," Father Kieran began
"Why can't I move my feet?" Bonnie asked, looking around.
"Because we're all compelled," Stefan told her. "Just go with it. After the first two hundred times you become used to it."
"Oh, not again," Elena cried as Damon sighed and the man that Elijah did not know walked out the door.
"It's just for the weddings," Elijah reassured the Mystic Falls gang.
"Weddings? As in plural?" Damon demanded. "How many of these damn things do we have to sit through?"
"Four," Elijah told him after consulting his list.
"Do you, Marcel, take Hayley to be your bride?" Father Kieran intoned since he had been tuning the rest of the vampires, wolves and witches out in the hopes that he could leave in one piece.
"What the hell, Kieran?" Marcel shouted weakly. "No, I do not," he snapped.
Elijah sighed and walked over to the bride and groom. "Marcel, you want to marry Hayley and live happily ever after raising my niece like she was your own."
"I understand," Marcel replied slowly.
"I thought he was on vervain," Klaus demanded suspiciously.
"I held him at a remote location for a week and drained it out after you sent Rebekah away," Elijah informed Klaus airily.
"Oh," Klaus nodded and then turned Hayley around. "Marry Marcel like a good girl, yes?" he searched Hayley's eyes as she nodded slowly. "I believe she's good to go," he said.
"Alright, Father, can we speed things up a bit?" Elijah inquired. Soon Marcel and Hayley were married. "Next," Elijah called. "Jackson," the werewolf looked wary as he moved against his will toward the front of the room. "Niklaus, can you get Bekah?" Klaus grabbed Rebekah and pulled her to the front of the room.
Father Kieran seemed to be uncertain as he looked at Rebekah who was speaking to people who were not there. "I like pink unicorns, Nik," she told her brother giddily.
"I don't think that she is in her right mind," Father Kieran announced.
"Nothing new," Klaus replied. "I want to get you to move faster. Then you can marry Caroline and me. Then we can get on with the honeymoon."
"In Kenya," Caroline added, clapping her hands together.
Father Kieran looked confused. "Alright. Rebekah, do you take Jackson to be your husband?"
Rebekah blinked at Jackson. "You're yummy. Okay," she said serenely, batting her eyelashes at the werewolf.
"Finally," Klaus groaned and grabbed Caroline by the wrist, yanking her forward.
"Wait," Elijah called and Klaus turned to glare at him for what felt like the thousandth time. "You may not cut in line, Niklaus," he intoned. "Davina and Josh are next."
"What?" Klaus thundered. "That is absurd. Young Joshua is gay."
"Yes, but he is a vampire and Davina is a witch. This is about the symbolism of interspecies marriages. I never said that they must be together. They may cheat on each other as much as they would like as many marriages have worked from the dawn of time," Elijah said. "I plan on bedding Marcel's bride."
"What?" Marcel snapped.
"Davina. Josh, are you ready yet?" Elijah summoned the friends who took little time to go through the ceremony and then kissed on the cheek.
"Now, can I marry Caroline?" Klaus yelled.
"Yes," Elijah replied with a wide grin.
"Hurry up," Klaus yelled at Kieran. "Speak now or I will make sure you never know peace."
"Okay," Kieran snapped. Minutes later Klaus was carrying a squealing Caroline out of the house.
Elijah felt satisfied. "I must go and make sure that there is peace in other places. Does anyone have any suggestions?"
"There will be no peace," Marcel snarled as he sped behind Elijah and shoved Elijah's white oak samuri sword through him. "Did you think you compelled me to be stupid, too? I have my men test me for compulsion every day. When I say my favorite color is a butterfly, then they know to fill me with vervain ASAP."
Elijah was not able to reply as he felt his body crumpling to the ground. His plan had almost worked. And to think that he was only trying to make this Easter special.
Waking up, Elijah sat up and found Hayley was standing over him with her hands on her hips. "Are you okay?" she asked and held out a hand to Elijah.
"I think that I am. I had the strangest dream," Elijah replied.
"Me, too," Hayley told him. "Except it wasn't. We're dead."
"What?" Elijah felt confused. "But how did you die?"
"Once Rebekah recovered from the wolf venom she divorced Jackson and told me that she doesn't like to share. Then she killed me," Hayley stated simply.
"What of the baby?" Elijah asked aghast.
"This thing?" Hayley pulled a pillow from beneath her dress. "You know that the witches had me under a spell to think that I was pregnant? You never know what kind of craziness that people will think of these days." Lifting the pillow, she sniffed it, her nose wrinkling. "Someone needs to have their case changed," she announced, cradling the pillow in her arms and rocking it. "Yes, you do. You're the cutest pillow ever," she cooed as she walked away.
"Hayley, where are we exactly?" Elijah inquired, looking around.
"Don't know," Hayley replied. "Check the sign." She pointed at the huge sign that was next to Elijah. He turned to find a sign next to him that said "Unemployment Agency." 'Oh, we must be in the fifth layer of hell," Elijah thought as he walked away, looking for the young wolf mother and her new cushion (he means offspring).
Thanks for reading, faving, following and reviewing.
Answers to reviews:
Jeremy Shane: I know but this is where I let all my crazy out…
Rose: That is two votes for Stefan. Hmmm… Saint Stefan on the hot seat after Bonnie. This should be fun… I've been looking forward to writing Stefan's chapter. Maw hahaha….
Peace,
Jessica