Hello, my lovely readers. There is a bit of confusion, because I was planning on replacing Ch. 11 because I was in a really, really bad mood when I wrote and wanted to give you a chapter worth reading. Anyway, so chapters 10 and the new chapter 11 are up. On with the show…
Chapter 12: Ya Got to Be Kidding Me
Feeling in the ends of her fingers and toes made her aware of waking up and Alexia Branson did not expect to wake, ever again. Her eyelids snapped open and she sat bolt upright. "What the hell?" she murmured, frowning at the all-too-familiar bedroom she lie in.
"Good morning, honey," an all-too-familiar voice called to her, in a not-so-familiar manner.
Head swiveling in the direction of the voice, Lexi's nose wrinkled in disgust and she pulled the comforter over what the hell she was wearing. Glancing under the comforter, Lexi's eyes rounded at the little bits of lace that comprised a nightgown. She rolled her eyes at the fact she was in Damon's bed. What in the hell had she done? How did she get here?
"How is your morning?" Damon whispered, sitting on the bed and Lexi leaned away from him. "Baby?"
"Get away from me!" Lexi shouted, shoving Damon when his left hand brushed her shoulder.
Lexi leapt off the opposite side of the bed and moved toward the door. "Just stay away from me!" she snarled, grabbing a lamp and hefting it in her hands. If she had to, she would kill him and she would apologize to Stefan after. After all, Damon deserved for her to return the favor.
Damon sighed and slid off the bed. "I know. I know." He put up his hands and ducked his head. He actually looked kind of guilty. But Lexi could not see his eyes, which might tell a different story. Why the hell Damon wore a blindfold, Lexi didn't know and was not sure she wanted to find out. Probably some kind of creepy sex games.
The sounds of people in the hallway made Lexi take a step toward the door. "I'm leaving." She placed her hand on the doorknob.
"Just wait! One sec, babe," Damon moved toward her, his hands still extended. "Tell me you're happy?" His smile made Lexi want to punch him. She'd fallen for his lies before. Never again.
"Happy about what?" Lexi snapped at him.
Damon shrugged. "Marrying me? I needed to see you, Lex. Make sure you didn't have last minute jitters and climb out the window in the middle of the night. I know. I've not always been the best guy for you. But I swear, I will spend the rest of our lives, working to make you happy." He edged toward her as his words hit her. His hand moved to her, finding her right hand and pulling it to his heart.
Freezing, Lexi listened closely. Damon was human. How in the hell had that happened? "Damon, you're human," she said, feeling really stupid for stating the obvious.
"Yeah. I know. Thank you, Bonnie. Speaking of Bon Bon. She'll be up here, soon, and about ready to kick my ass out of here. And let's not even get into the wedding planner from hell." Lexi closed her eyes as Damon pressed a kiss to her forehead before he moved around her and left the room.
Now, Lexi knew she had lost her mind. Yes. She'd spent far too much time on The Other Side and she'd lost her mind. Balling her fists at her sides, Lexi shook her head. "This is not happening. You're going to wake up now. Come on, Lexi. Wake the hell up!" She was on the edge of slapping herself silly when someone came into the room.
"Good morning!" Caroline Forbes trilled, looking so cheerful it made Lexi's head hurt. "And how is the beautiful bride feeling on the most important day of her entire life?"
"Like I might hurl," Lexi retorted with a smirk.
Caroline paused on her way to Damon's closet and her eyebrows shot up in shock before she let out a high-pitched laugh. "Sorry! I thought you were serious. Let's see how the gown is doing today." She pulled the door open to reveal a gown that Lexi knew she would not have worn as human, let alone a vampire.
"You've got to be kidding me!" Lexi groaned, folding her arms over her chest. Too much lace. Too many beads. Way to much poofy skirt. What was this, some freakin' princess bride gown? Hell no. She would not be caught dead, or undead, in that thing.
Caroline turned her head to look at Lexi over her shoulder. "Something wrong?" she called.
"Uh. Yeah. The dress. The groom. The fact that I'm here, in Damon Salvatore's bedroom!" Lexi had to sit down. Her head had begun to ache too much. She needed a drink. Or a whole truck full of drinks.
Heaving a sigh, Caroline moved to kneel before Lexi. "Look, Lexi, this is just last minute jitters. Everyone has them. I mean, you're scared. It's natural. You're getting married. And it is supposed to be the best day of your entire life. That's a lot of pressure. So, you just need to take a deep breath," Caroline demonstrated by inhaling and then exhaling. "There. All better." She patted Lexi's knee and got to her feet. "At least Damon did not talk you into wearing that hussy dress with the skirt up to your butt."
Lexi shook her head. She really, really, really needed a drink. Caroline began to talk about her own wedding and Lexi decided to take advantage of the cheerful blonde's distraction to exit the room.
Pushing the bedroom door open, Lexi sped down the hallway and straight down the stairs. She only stopped when she got to the Great Room. She would worry about proper attire later. She needed that drink, now.
"Lexi?" A startled looking Alaric Saltzman choked on his drink. He slapped a hand over his eyes. "You could give a guy a little warning. I don't think it's a sign of good luck for the best man to see the groom's bride…like that." Alaric waved at Lexi's nightgown.
Lexi puffed out a breath, her hair flying before she plowed her way toward the drinks. "I'm not telling, if you don't."
Grabbing a glass, Lexi began to pour herself a drink when she heard the sounds of Caroline's ranting to herself about runaway brides. "Alaric, have you seen Lexi?"
Alaric glanced at Lexi who hid behind one of the couches in the room, her finger pressed to her lips. "Uh. No. Not yet." He shook his head.
Caroline huffed. "Fine. Well, she better show herself. I did not work this hard, and for this long to make Damon's dreams come true to have Lexi ruin all of this… Le-xi!" Caroline began to shout as she left the room.
Standing up, Lexi groaned. "Why would Caroline want to help Damon?"
Alaric looked at Lexi like she was crazy. "Only because they're best friends."
"What?" Lexi sneered. "No way. Where is Stefan?"
Now, Alaric looked slightly ill. "I don't think this is a good day to get into it. Why don't you go back upstairs and get dressed before Caroline catches you."
"Good idea." Lexi sped back up the stairs and eased Damon's door closed, without making a noise.
Stalking over to the closet, Lexi half-expected to find a dead and rotting body. Or maybe Stefan. Instead she found women's clothing. Possibly hers. She did not hate all of it. Although some of it seemed a bit too girly-girl. What had "being with Damon" done to her?
Lexi closed the closet and moved on to the dresser. Damon probably kept something cruel in here to torture his victims with. She pulled the first drawer open to find half it had his usual black T-shirts and half included shirts that might be her size. The second included pants. The third included underwear. Everything was evenly split. He had not given her a drawer. He gave her half his dresser. Seriously. This must be a sick joke.
Grunting, Lexi removed a T-shirt, a pair of jeans and then turned away from the dresser. She knew that Damon must be hiding his true self, somewhere in this room. She would damn well find out how he'd brought here and why.
A soft knock on the door made Lexi's head pop up from searching under the bed. "Hi," Bonnie Bennett called. She waved to Lexi, a bright smile on her face before she entered the room and came to join Lexi. "Why aren't you dressed yet? Caroline is freaking out!"
"I'm not marrying him," Lexi hissed before she stood up and placed her hands on her hips.
Bonnie came to sit on the bed. "Lexi, I know you're afraid. But you and Damon have been through so much. Don't you owe it to yourselves to enjoy this little bit of happiness?"
"Why is everyone so concerned with Damon's happiness? And where is Stefan?" Lexi demanded.
Bonnie's expression closed off. "After what he did, I'm surprised you would want him to be here." Shaking her head, Bonnie pulled out a necklace and held it out to Lexi. "This belonged to my family for generations. It's the 'something old.' I thought you might like it."
A pang of guilt made Lexi look at the necklace which glinted in the morning light. "Thanks," she mumbled.
"Sure. I'll see you downstairs," Bonnie nodded. She looked like she might cry before she hurried out of the room.
Closing her fingers around the necklace, Lexi made a decision. Maybe she would just have to put up with this spell, or hell dimension, for a while, just until she found a way to free herself.
"There you are!" Caroline cried, re-entering the room and sighing. "This is Florence. She'll be doing your hair and makeup today."
Eyes shutting, Lexi inhaled and exhaled. She could put up with this circus. Somehow. She was strong. She would get through this day. Even if it killed her.
~0~
Blinking, Lexi did not recognize the woman looking back at her. Dear God. Had she become a debutante? Please, say no. The too much makeup, hair piled atop her head. Flowers and a freakin' tiara. Yup. She was in hell alright.
Stopping herself from sneering at her reflection, Lexi offered a smile to a beaming Caroline. "You look so pretty," Caroline said.
Bonnie's eyes were wide and she forced a smile. At least Bonnie had not drunk too much of the Kool-Aid.
"Let's get this over with," Lexi sighed.
Caroline clapped her hands together and turned on her walkie-talkie. "Okay, everyone. It's showtime. I've got the B. S. on the move."
"B. S.?" Lexi gave Bonnie a questioning look.
"Bride Salvatore," Bonnie said through her teeth, her smile frozen in place.
"Great." So, Lexi was not even married to Damon yet, and she'd already lost her own name. Nice.
"All systems go!" Caroline headed down the hall. She peered around the corners like she expected someone to jump out and attack them.
Lexi's brows furrowed. What was no one telling her here? And did she really have to be buried in tulle, so she could not fight back, even if she wanted to. Groaning, she followed Caroline on her path out of the house.
The backyard made Lexi want to puke. Way too many pink things. Hearts and carnations. It looked like a Valentine's Day that Hallmark spewed up.
Lexi forced herself to march right down the aisle, watching Bonnie move down it and Caroline plop down next to Niklaus Mikaelson, the idiot who turned Lexi on a whim, or was it a bet from his brother, Kol. Growling under her breath, she narrowed her eyes at him when Klaus waved at her. She would make it a wedding present to herself to stake him. Maybe he'd do her a favor and send her back to The Other Side.
"Dearly beloved," Liz Forbes began to say. Lexi glanced at the woman. She remembered nearly eating the woman once. "We are here to join Damon Salvatore and Alexia Branson, in holy matrimony," Liz began when someone let out a loud cough.
"I don't think so," Stefan's voice made Lexi's head whip in his direction.
"Stefan!" Lexi cried, smiling for real. She turned and moved to run to her friend when Damon grabbed her arm, pushing her behind him.
"What are you doing here, brother?" Damon snarled, unbuttoning his jacket and pulling out a stake.
Yes! Lexi knew that Damon was not the good guy. Giving him a shove, Lexi felt happy to watch him topple onto a stack of pink pillows that were supposed to be decorations, maybe?
"Lex, what the hell?" Damon shouted, turning to look at Lexi.
Stefan began to laugh. "Now, that is what I love about weddings. The lack of predictability. Oh, yeah, and the sounds of screaming and terror when you have nowhere to run, and nowhere to hide." Holding up his hands, he seemed to signal vampires to descend on the wedding party.
"Stefan, what are you doing?" Lexi demanded as a vampire ran toward her. Damon threw her a stake and drove it into the young, a foolish vamp. "Stefan?"
"Sorry, Lex. I got tired of the "be a better man." I like who I am today," Stefan called back, grabbing a guest, who sat toward the back and tearing into her neck.
"Stefan Salvatore!" Lexi shouted. "I will bring you back!"
"Not gonna happen," Stefan retorted as Klaus hit him over the head with a chair and Caroline took some twinkle lights to tie him up with.
"Thanks for ruining my special day, brother," Damon snapped as he strode down the aisle to stand over Stefan with a glare, his hands on his hips.
Lexi marched down the aisle. "Let me take care of this."
"I think not!" another voice joined them and Lexi looked up to see Katherine Pierce. "I love a good party!" She grinned before she sped toward Damon and took him by the shirt collar before disappearing.
"NO!" Caroline shouted, stomping her foot. "What the hell! Elena just ruined the wedding of the century!"
"I thought that was our wedding!" Klaus protested.
Caroline patted him on the arm. "We're a close second."
Lexi looked at Caroline. "I thought you were into Stefan."
Caroline's eyes widened. "Ew! Gross! Why would I ever be into Stefan? I mean, he's…Stefan. Ugh." She shivered and Klaus rubbed her back while giving Lexi a long look.
"He's getting away!" Bonnie shouted, pointing at Stefan.
"Then do something!" Caroline shouted at Bonnie.
Bonnie rolled her eyes. "I can't. Remember! Not a witch anymore!"
"Oh, yeah? Season 8, right?" Caroline turns to the readers. "Right? It's hard to keep track." Turning back to Lexi, Caroline places a hand on Lexi's arm. "I'm so sorry that Stefan and Elena ruined your wedding day. I promise that either we'll find Damon, alive, and we can do this all over again, or we'll find Elena, stake her and then stake Stefan before doing shots like we did when we thought that Klaus was dead. But you dead, too. So, you'll finally get to celebrate killing a dead guy who will probably return three seasons later, like Kol, or Katherine, or Kai, or Klaus, my darling husband. I love you so much. Except for when I hate you. Oh, you bad, bad man!"
Lexi felt like she really was going to puke this time when Caroline and Klaus kept making googly eyes at each other and saying things that did not really make sense to Lexi about the times that they tried to kill each other or their friends, family, strangers, etc., out of love. "It's the Mikaelson way," Klaus was saying when Lexi went in search of Stefan.
Stefan could not have gotten far. Unless he chewed through the cords that held him. Then he would be leaving a trail of blood from the tiny lights' glass he'd gotten stuck in his mouth.
"Stefan!" Lexi called softly.
A sound came from a large tented structure. Must be for the reception. Entering the tent, Lexi saw more freakin' twinkle lights, huge pink hearts. Way, way too much pink. A large sign hung from above a long table. Stefan sat on top of the table. A tray with a lid in top sat beside him. "Hey, Lexi," he called, swinging his feet back and forth. "Got you a present."
Lifting the lid, Stefan grinned as Lexi felt her anger reach a boiling point. "He was on tour. And I could not resist. Guess he's right, he's not going to live forever. Although, on an ironic note, I did leave his heart on an open highway."
Lexi growled out. "You killed Bon Jovi!" she screamed.
Stefan nodded. Taking Bon Jovi's head in his hands, he held it out to her. "I thought it would make a nice center piece. Don't you?"
"I'm going to kill you!" Lexi shouted, racing toward Stefan who tossed poor Bon Jovi's head aside to meet her halfway.
"Lex?" Damon called and Lexi paused to note Elena holding Damon in a tight grip, her hands around his neck. "Help, babe?"
"Sorry," Lexi shook her head. Her full attention moved to Stefan. "This time you went too far, Ripper."
Stefan grinned and kicked a table, breaking off a leg. Damon began to scream in the background and Lexi could hear his gurgling as Elena sucked him dry. Well, at least Lexi would not have to marry him.
"They're in there!" Caroline cried out, from outside the tent.
"Oh, come on," Stefan groaned as others came in to join the fight. "This is a private moment, between old friends."
Lexi smashed him in the face with an open hand. "You're got that right." She managed to roll on top of him, intending on finishing this when the stake plunged into her chest. "You jackass!" she shouted at the Ripper.
"Lex?" Stefan looked horrified. "Oh, no? What did I do? Lexi?"
"Serves you right," Lexi groaned. "Dumbass."
Bonnie came into view as Lexi was dying, again. Like this did not hurt enough the first time. "I can help!" she cried.
Light flashed through the room and Lexi woke to find herself in Damon's bedroom, again. "Oh, come on!" she shouted. Getting up, she marched out of the room and down the stairs, straight into the living room. "Who the hell are you?" she demanded.
"I'm Kai," the man who Lexi vaguely remembered torturing people she cared about. "Welcome to my hell."
"Yeah. Yeah. Yeah," Damon waved a hand, coming in with a plate of pancakes. "Who's hungry?"
Lexi looked from Damon to Kai. "Tell me that there is someone else here, too?"
"Nope. Just us," Kai said around a bite of pancake. "Oh, this is good, Damon."
Lexi shut her eyes and let out a scream before she ran out of the house. Even if she were stuck here, with them, she would not stay in that house.
"What's her problem?" Kai inquired.
Damon shrugged. "Wedding jitters. Would you like to see the scrapbook of photos I take when she's asleep?"
"Would I ever," Kai and Damon disappeared upstairs while Lexi could be heard, driving Damon's car toward Canada, with the intention of driving into Siberia and making a new home there.
Thank you for reading, faving, following and reviewing.
Answer to guest review:
Mia: The day I tried to take a chapter down was my mother's birthday, I was distracted, and not paying attention. I meant to take chapter 11 down; so I could re-upload it later. And the FanFiction site decided I meant to post. Sorry about the confusion and I hope you enjoy the new chapters.
Peace,
J