Disclaimer: I do not own Warriors, or any brands mentioned in the story.
Ivypool sat in the medicine den. Brightheart was filling in for Jayfeather, as he was on his journey.
"Alright, Ivypool, time to take your meds!" Brightheart exclaimed a bit too gleefully.
"Dark Forest no!" Ivypool detested. She would not take those meds. It took four warriors to push her into the medicine den alone.
"You must, Ivypool! Open up!" Brightheart still sounded overcherrful.
Ivypool growled. "Brightheart, shut up, or else I'll claw out your remaining eye." She padded out of the den freely, and saw Foxleap.
"Oh, hey, Foxleap, I think you're a sexy beast." Ivypool meowed, and Foxleap gasped. Personally, he wanted Dovewing, but that had a 0% chance of happening, because he was irritable and annoying.
"Ivypool, Great! Wanna go have sex in a random bush?" Foxleap offered, and the two mates ran into the forest.
Back on the quest…
Hollyleaf gasped. "Your Royal Majesty!" She meowed, bowing in respect. Chuck Norris said nothing, not moving. "Do you have any punishment ideas for Warrior Code breakers?"
"Sir Norris! Do you know any herbal remedies I don't know?" Jayfeather meowed, on his knees.
"Do you know any ways I could keep a cat not on their meds under control?" Dovewing asked, really desperate for an answer. Ivypool was impossible to keep a lid on, when off her meds.
Lionblaze, however, felt no respect. Since he falsely thought he was a kick ass sexy ninja because of the prophecy, he thought he could take on Chuck Norris.
Lionblaze jumped on Chuck Norris, and he fell. "OMS! It's a cardboard cutout!" Dovewing realized, and Lionblaze let out a pff of annoyance.
"Who has done this?" Jayfeather moaned, bawling.
"It is I!" A cat, while snickering, proclaimed. Breezepelt emerged from the pine trees.
Hollyleaf's eyes turned into balls of fire. "BREEZEPELT! ACCORDING TO BOOK 8, APPENDIX C, SECTION 4, SUBSECTION 91, PARAGRAPH 33, SUBPARAGRAPH 2, LINE 10 OF THE WARRIOR CODE… TRICKING CATS WITH CARDBOARD CUTOUTS OF CHUCK NORRIS IS AGAINST THE CODE! GO TO DARK FOREST, YOU DAMN LIAR! KILL HIM!" She yowled louder than ever before, even louder than when she discovered Rosepetal using the Dirtplace.
"Yeah, good lu-" Breezepelt began, but Dovewing tackled him in the stomach. "OUCH! MOMMY NIGHTCLOUD!" He exclaimed.
"Haha, lol, I conspired with your father to kill Nightcloud." Jayfeather meowed cruelly. "She's dead!'
"DIE DIE DIE, WORTHLESS PILE OF FOX DUNG! I CAME SO CLOSE TO MY SPECIAL MOMENT OF FINDING A METHOD OF ENFORCING MEDS UPON IVYPOOL! BUT YOU RUINED IT!" Dovewing hissed, aiming for Breezepelt's murder.
Lionblaze was cutting through a tree that would crush Breezepelt at moderate speed, while Hollyleaf directly aided Dovewing by jumping on Breezepelt, covering his eyes, and scratching at his scalp.
Jayfeather was meanly jeering at Breezepelt, letting out all his accumulated anger on him.
Breezepelt was defenseless, scrabbling around, crimson blood flowing from his body. "LOOK OUT BELOW!" Lionblaze yowled as he stood on the tree that crushed Breezepelt.
"Great work, guys!" Jayfeather complimented, and Dovewing raced ahead, and almost fell as the earth caved in. She gasped. "A gorge! I think we've arrived at SkyClan!"
The other three rushed through the foliage, hearing her. "Wow…" Hollyleaf murmured, amazed by the beautiful depth of the gorge.
Leafstar, having heard Dovewing from the trees, stepped out, revealing herself. "I am Leafstar, leader of SkyClan. Who are you?" She demanded in a powerful voice.
"We found you! We are a patrol from ThunderClan." Jayfeather greeted.
Lionblaze stared at Leafstar, drooling. Damn, she's smokin' hot! He thought.
Hollyleaf heard a loud echo come from the bottom of the gorge. "Wow, their voices echo!"
Leafstar faced Hollyleaf. "Actually, no. Our medicine cat, Echosong, was cursed with an echoing voice since birth."
"So, Sharpclaw, wanna take this party to the oak tree, big boy?" A she-cat voice echoed from the bottom of the gorge, and Dovewing's eyes widened. "Aren't medicine cats not supposed to have mates?" She wondered aloud, thinking SkyClan might allow it.
Leafstar's eyes were super wide. "No, they are not supposed to have mates." She meowed, clenching her teeth, and faced Jayfeather. "OMS, I can't believe it! ThunderClan has returned! How are Firestar and Sandstorm?"
"Fine. Sandstorm likes baking up some sugary treats for him. They had kits, Leafpool and Squirrelflight. Leafpool is my mother. Both are huge beotches." Jayfeather replied ruefully.
"That's wonderful! I'm sorry they are beotches. What brings you here?" Leafstar asked, curiously. ThunderClan was back!
"Well… I had a dream, where several of our warrior ancestors were… partying, and making out with each other. And we got a prophecy." Jayfeather explained.
"What did it have to do with my clan?" Leafstar continued, a bit puzzled.
Lionblaze was having fantasies. Oh… I just wanna touch her all over, French her, and bang her good… He thought of Leafstar, her russet fur being ruffled by the wind in slow-motion.
Hollyleaf swooped in before Jayfeather replied. "You know… I have no idea! Guys, let's turn around and go home."
Jayfeather agreed. "Yeah, why are we here?" He wondered, and then realized Hollyleaf answered for him.
"Hollyleaf, I hate you, stupid dummy! Go to Dark Forest!" Jayfeather harshly yowled, and kicked her.
"Whoa!" Hollyleaf exclaimed, and lost her footing, rolling down the edge of the cliff. Once she was retrieved, miraculously, she was unscathed. "Oh, I'm fine!" She insisted, and the quartet set off from their useless journey.
"That was fun." Dovewing optimistically remarked.
"Leafstar… is… sexyyyyy…." Lionblaze groaned, his fantasies pretty intense.
The four eventually reached the Clan territories, without difficulty, crossing onto ThunderClan territory.
"I'm in here randomly!" A random cat mewed, away from the four cats, and in a random meadow.
Note: Thanks for reading this chapter! I hoped you enjoyed it! Review, and a new chapter will be up tomorrow!