Hello again, lovelies! I'm back with another... mediocre chapter, I suppose. Small note, the song I use in this chapter does not belong to me (because I couldn't write a song to save my life). It's called Absolutely Smitten by Dodie Clark and I felt like it fit the relationship in this story really well. Please don't like, come for me for using this song, I am but a small fragile soul teetering on the edge of a breakdown. Anyway, I hope you lovely people enjoy this slightly late chapter, and I apologize if it like, sucks. I wrote and edited this on very little sleep and I may come to hate it when I get out of this emotional slump.
When I got home, Lo was sitting on the floor in front of Laf while he braided her hair. The sight was incredibly similar to what I'd seen when I first came here. The only difference was that instead of looking nervous, Lo looked happy. A light blush covered her face as Darcy whispered something in her ear and handed her the ukulele. She gripped the instrument tightly, her hands slightly shaking.
I didn't realize I was just staring at her until Angelica nudged me into the living room. Lo smiled nervously and walked over to me. I brushed some bangs from her face, noticing that they were longer than I'd ever seen them. She was due for a haircut soon. Her face was about as pink as her dress as she grabbed my hand and pulled me upstairs, muttering something about not wanting everyone to hear.
I tried to think of what she could have to show me that involves a ukulele. The only times I'd ever seen her with it was when she was working on that choir thing with Eliza. But she wouldn't really be embarrassed to show that to me. I had been in the room with them while they worked on it. And she wouldn't make such a big deal about surprising me with a project for school. This had to be something different.
"I, um… I wrote you a song," she murmured as we walked into her room. She closed the door behind us and looked up at me blushing. Well, that certainly wasn't what I expected at all. She giggled anxiously and sat down on her bed, plucking the ukulele strings absentmindedly. "I was going to save it for Valentine's Day, but Darcy told me to play it for you as kind of a late birthday present. Especially since I didn't really get you anything aside from a notebook, a pen, and sex."
"You wrote me a song?" That had to be the most… romantic thing anyone had ever done for me. Lo's blush deepened as she nodded. She fiddled with the charms on her bracelet and smiled shyly. I sat next to her and took her in. All of her. Her perfect freckled cheeks, which were a bright shade of red. Her light brown hair was tied back in a loose braid over her shoulder. And her eyes were the brightest I'd ever seen them. I didn't quite know what to call the emotion I could see in them, but I knew one thing.
She was absolutely stunning.
I didn't want this to go away. I wanted her to always be like this, to always look this… free. James Reynolds and Maria could go to hell. I didn't understand how anyone could hurt such a beautiful girl. How could anyone find satisfaction in hurting someone? I'd never be able to understand that as long as I lived. What kind of fucked-up lives were those people living that hurting Lo made them feel powerful?
"Alex, I… I just have to say thank you. For everything. For being so patient with me. For not losing your temper with me, even when I'm acting like a brat and don't want to talk to anyone. And thank you for being my boyfriend. For… for loving me, which I didn't think was possible. I didn't think anyone would ever want me after James… did everything he did to me. I thought I was dirty… I thought he ruined me. But you showed me that wasn't true. So I just… thank you."
"Lo, you don't have to thank me-"
"I want to thank you, Alex. With this song. I don't tell you how I feel about you anywhere near as often as you tell me." She smiled as she started strumming the instrument, her gaze falling to her fingers as if she didn't trust them to play the right notes. I watched her face and blinked as she started singing. For some reason I'd had an impression that the song wouldn't have lyrics.
She knows this feeling all too well
She feels her heart begin to swell
Handsome stranger
You have made her insides turn to jelly
She wants to dance around the room
Kiss you until your lips turn blue
But handsome stranger
You have made her wonder... Is she pretty?
And it's too late
She believes in fate
She's absolutely smitten
And she'll never let you go
That girl just there yes she's the one
With cupid's arrow in her bum
Handsome stranger you have made her happy
The first in a long time!
Did you just whisper in her ear?
Words she only dreamed to hear?
Pretty lady
Look at how he's smiling,
I think he likes you!
And it's too late
You believe in fate
You're absolutely smitten,
You'll never let her go
Ooooh
And it's too late
I believe in fate!
I'm absolutely smitten, I'll never let you go
I'll never let you go
Lo's face was scarlet as she sang the last notes and set the instrument aside. Her hands trembled as she set them in her lap, waiting for me to respond. I sat next to her on the bed and kissed her gently, my thumb tracing over her freckles. She smiled and leaned into my touch. I couldn't even put into words how much I loved the song. It was cute, short, and sweet. Just like her. Her face got hotter when I told her this. I cleared my throat and kissed her cheek.
"Lo, do you… want to go to the Valentine's Day dance with me? I know it's dumb and definitely not your type of thing, but…"
"I'll go with you." Lo squeezed my hand and looked up at me. "I'd feel bad if we just spent Valentine's Day at home because I'm scared of people."
"You don't have to go if you don't want to. I don't want to force you to do anything if you're not up for it."
"It's fine, Al. I'd like to have at least one normal high school experience. I'm tired of just sitting on the sidelines. And it's not like it's prom or anything. It's just a stupid dance in the school cafeteria. I'll be fine." We sat in a peaceful silence, Lo resting her head on my shoulder. She was probably the only person that I felt comfortable sitting quietly with. If she was anyone else, I would probably be trying to awkwardly trying to fill the silence. But because it was her, I was perfectly fine just sitting with her. Surprisingly, she was the one to break the silence after about ten minutes.
"Isn't it funny how the tiniest little imbalance in your brain is enough to make you want to kill yourself?" She laughed bitterly as she squeezed my arm and looked up at me. The look in her eyes terrified me. It was like she wasn't even here completely. She looked down at the carpet and sighed."Sorry for being such a downer all of a sudden, but I was just thinking. I did some research on my new medication, wondering why doctors give prescriptions for pills that have the slight chance of making you want to kill yourself. Apparently it's 'safe in overdoses' or something like that. Like they know that something's just going to push someone right over the edge and they'll grab a handful of them and just-"
"Lori, we have a big problem!" Lo and I flinched as Darcy stormed into the room, looking like a complete mess. She paced around anxiously and tugged at her hair. Lo stood up and went over to her, placing a hand on her arm. Darcy looked down at her sister with tears in her eyes and sighed.
"Darcy, what's wrong?" Lo asked, completely calm. As if she hadn't just been talking about overdosing like it was no big deal. I was still a bit dazed by the conversation. Maybe I should be with Lo when she takes her medicine from now on. The speech she just gave made it seem like she was thinking about… killing herself. God, even just thinking the words was painful. I couldn't imagine it happening. I couldn't let that happen.
"My dad's coming to visit for my birthday." Darcy rolled her eyes and sat next to me on the bed. For once, she didn't have a rude remark to make about me. She picked up her ukulele and strummed sadly. "He's going to try to make me go back home with him, I know he is. There's a reason I left, Lori. I couldn't stand living in that town anymore, with everyone judging me because I'm not straight, because I was born out of wedlock, because I refused to apologize for who I am. I'm fucking sick of it."
"Darcy, I'm sure it won't be that bad. You haven't seen him in months. He probably misses you." Lo shrugged and looked at her sister, a half smile on her face. "You should be glad you have a dad who doesn't molest you on a nightly basis. Your dad actually cares about you."
"He has a shitty way of showing it, then." Darcy set her ukulele back down and looked at Lo apprehensively. "He's going to be here on my birthday, Lori. I don't think I'm ready."
"It'll be fine, Dar. Trust me."