Gahhhhh!!! You people can't imagine how much I've been itching to write this chapter! Really! Every time I see a new review, my hands automatically start reaching out towards the keyboard! DX
But I couldn't! ;w; I just couldn't! I can't bring myself to write it yet, because of the damn tests that keep on haunting me –fuckthisshittohell- TT_____TT. Every time I open MS Word with the intention of updating this story, a tiny, bitch–er– witch-like voice maliciously whispers into my head, TT___TT telling me that I'll REALLY regret it if I won't study. ;w; -damn this honor-roll student complex DX-
However, while I'm solving those stupid Math tests, images of YULLEN love flashes across my mind. *A* In fact, I get so distracted with my daydreaming and drooling, that I lose 15 good minutes of test time. –darnit- DX But somehow, it was worth it. 8D
Now I'm free!! 8D XD YES! SUMMER! KANDA! ALLEN! HERE I COME! –jumps off a cliff and swims towards the beach where the Yullen couple is making out-
Again, I'm apologizing for Kanda's language. Really now, it's his fault this story's rating is dangerously straddling the thin line between T and M. DX
The italicized group of text found somewhere in the middle is a detailed account of Kanda's dream while Allen's taking advantage of his sleeping state. It wasn't Kanda's dream when he fell asleep again after catching Allen. 8D Just saying, so that no one will be confused. XD
MANY THANKS TO rapturousdreams (all Hail you!) FOR BETA-ING (or editing or proofreading or…whatever you call it XD) THIS CHAPTER!! YAY, LESS TYPOS AND BAD GRAMMAR! –dances-
Disclaimer: I do not own D. Gray-Man D:
-------------------------------
Chapter 7
-------------------------------
Have you ever heard of those extreme moments, when, due to an overflowing flash of shock, surprise, bewilderment, or horror, the whole world, no, the whole universe seems to just stop? Did you ever experience time freezing in your very midst, or everything else fading into the background because the most important thing, the most crucial of all factors, was staring at you face to face? Were there ever moments in your life when the flow of air suddenly became unavailable, and as much as you wanted to, you can't command your body to start breathing again because you know that by even daring to breathe, you can shatter this supernatural moment of tranquil limbo, and release all the goddamn immigrants of Hell upon your very self?
This was what Allen Walker was going through at that precise moment.
Shell-shocked silver eyes kept an affixed stare at equally bewildered dark azure orbs, neither of them moving or even daring to release a single breath of air. A heavy silence was settling over them, drowning out the screams of their lungs as their bodies longed for air, and maliciously amplifying the fast, beating sound of their distressed hearts. Their eyes just continued staring at each other in disbelief, the older of the two seriously hoping that this was all a dream gone badly, while the other one did likewise. As their constricted pupils established a form of a "telepathic" line between one another, a single, strikingly similar thought raced across both of them minds, mercilessly snapping the threads that kept them suspended in that makeshift limbo.
This is SO screwed up.
The moment that thought rang clearly through his mind, Allen clumsily jumped off Kanda's body, catching his foot on the blanket and ungracefully falling on the floor. The shock of the moment made the adrenaline pump wildly through his body, and he hastily picked himself up, inching away from Kanda's bed as his wide gray eyes still retained a connection with Kanda's dark orbs.
No… his mind frantically stated, desperate enough to utter lies just to remain in the realm of sanity. No…this couldn't be real…No…No…No…goddamn it, No! No! Dear god, what have I ever done to deserve this living Hell?
Allen opened his mouth, vainly trying to say something…but then closed it again. His throat was parched and his mouth hopelessly speechless. He couldn't revive his corpse-like tongue, nor can he keep his jaw from going ajar due to his lingering horror. He should say something. Yes, Allen knew that he should explain. He should use his great, evading tactics, the ones that he used to escape all those debt collectors his Master had angered. Yes! Yes, that's what he should do! Kanda would surely believe him! Of course! If he kept his infamous poker face on, the older boy would never know that he's lying!
No.
No, he can't do that. There's no way he could pull that off. Kanda had always been so keen on detecting lies. In fact, he may be the only person in the whole world who could tell that he was lying, when everyone else thought that he was telling the truth. And besides…
His conscience couldn't take it. He'd probably lose face before he could even finish half of the lie.
Now, he's stuck with two options. Either he stays and faces the wrath of God/Kanda, which would probably be more intense than the time that old geezer had decided to "wash" the world with a neat ol' flood, or he runs away and tries to preserve the remaining years of his short life.
The latter seemed to be the best choice, and Allen would really love to get moving right now, that is, if his damn legs would move at all. The poor boy couldn't believe this…why did his legs decide to shut down now? Of all freakin' times, why now?
"Beansprout."
And that was it. The moment Allen heard Kanda's voice, a jolt of electricity revived his legs, and in a speed that would have shamed light, Allen was out of the room. He ran, and he ran, and he ran. He ran so fast, he would have shamed the Gingerbread man. Allen ran with his abused legs, having no intention of stopping until he was at least a continent away from Kanda. And as he ran, a series of profanities and other obscenities raced across his mind, words so foul it would make Kanda look like a real gentleman. Oh god, if only Cross could hear him swear, all this suffering would end. Quickly. That poor excuse of a General hated hearing him swear. A mere "shit" from his mouth, and he gets abusive sex from Cross' handy-dandy hammer.
As Allen ran, a queer form of faith towards his pathetic sense of direction was ominously revived. He really needed to get lost right now.
---------------------------
Kanda stared at the empty space that had once been Allen, his eyes still wide as he failed to grasp the meaning of what had just happened a few minutes ago. What the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck… And again, this uncensored mantra repeated itself all over his mind, a default reaction that appears whenever he couldn't get his brain working. Kanda remained rigid as he sat up, wincing slightly as he felt something wet trickle down from his jaw. At first he presumed it to be mere sweat, but when it turned out to be too sticky and foreign; Kanda's worst fears were recognized.
"Oh, holy shit," he hissed, hastily standing up and fumbling over his shoes.
He never expected this to happen. No, there was never a time in his eighteen years of living, when he was trapped in a situation like this; no, never in something so disgusting, so distressing, so horrifying, and at the same time so maddening. No. Never. Nada. Zero.
"What, the fucking shit, am I supposed to do now?" he growled in bewilderment, mercilessly kicking his chair, and his desk, and his closet, and his bed. The furniture protested with their snaps and creaks, but Kanda didn't give a damn about them. He was too confused; too confused that it was becoming damn unhealthy for him and for his mental stability. He couldn't remove that image from his mind; that fucking image that was maliciously giving him an unbelievable boner right now.
Ugh, disgusting. Kanda was disgusted with himself. And he was angry. Hell, he was infuriated to the thousandth degree. But he wasn't angry at the beansprout. He was more angered by his lack of self-control. Fuck! He couldn't even stop his body from reacting all immorally just because he kept remembering how Allen had looked like when he was straddling his waist and that small drop of saliva that was oh-so-lusciously trickling down his swollen lips. Lips that were kissing—
"Arrggghhhh, fucking mother fucker!" he hollered as he felt his sanity slipping away, with spitefully delectable images of a damn beansprout stampeding all over his mind. "Shit, I can't believe this." So it was Allen all along. He was the one who left that foreign taste in his lips; that taste that he couldn't help but lust for. No wonder, it was Allen who noticed that Kanda's hands moved when he was asleep!
If only Kanda could clench his hands, he would be doing so right now. Not to mention his plan to punch the living daylights out of Komui for making such a horrid contraption. Kanda shot that small wristwatch-like gadget on his wrist a dirty look. It was a device of some sort that had a motion detector in it. If it detected any "extreme" or "passionate" form of movement from his hands, it'll be sending volts of electricity towards Kanda's brain. This of course, would definitely wake him up, and catch the kisser.
Right now, Kanda wished that he had never done so in the first place.
"What the hell is with that damn twerp?" he continued hissing, probably thinking that cobras were cool. He really itched to wipe that conspicuously dripping drop of saliva from his neck; but unfortunately, he wasn't properly equipped at the moment. Another stream of profanities escaped his mouth as he kicked the chair in frustration. What the fucking shit did he do to deserve this ridiculously damning situation? What? Was the Almighty planning to make a new hell, and Kanda's one of his test subjects? Screw that. He could have chosen that blubbering idiot who kept calling him his "son," or that crazy scientist with the sister-complex. Not to mention that annoying one-eyed rabbit too.
He released an anguished sigh as he sat down on his bed, his legs screaming painfully in protest. His head was throbbing. It was one o'clock in the morning for heaven's sake. There was no way he could think clearly with his brain half-snoring. He could still remember it, that pleasurable feeling on his lips, and how it had spread down to his jaw and neck. It was a sensation that intermingled with his fantasies, a dream that he lavished, as much as loathed; a dream that he finally remembered, in greater detail than he had wanted.
-----------------------------
And here he was again, in the strange forest that held a peculiar yet startlingly comforting atmosphere. Everything was in place with the ground and roots carpeted by a pure blanket of bright green moss. Vines hung about the thick branches of oaks, cedars, firs, maples, and various other trees that he could not identify (he didn't study freaking Biology). The sky was as clear as ever, void of any thick clouds that might block out the benevolent sun. Streams of broken sunlight stubbornly pierced through the thick roof of leaves covering the forest, shedding enough light to avoid tripping over capricious roots and rocks. A few flowers grew here and there, bushes of dandelions and daisies scattered within the vegetation. Ripe berries were available too, but despite how delicious they looked, Kanda wasn't hungry enough to pluck food from a foreign place.
Not far from there came the sound of rushing water. Kanda then remembered the beautiful boy he found by the stream, or river, or what the hell that body of water was. Despite the protests of his logical mind, Kanda started running towards the direction of the water, feeling a strange kind of desperation to see the boy again. He still couldn't figure out who he was, though he knew that he knew the boy, Kanda just couldn't remember his name.
The sound of the stream became louder, and after a few more minutes of running, Kanda found his way out of the thick grove of trees and in front of a peacefully flowing stream. He didn't pay attention to the beautiful crystalline water, however. He kept his eyes alert and attentive as he looked around; hoping to find that same bundle of distinct silver-white hair, which always seemed to sparkle so alluringly under the sun.
But he couldn't find him.
No, he wasn't there. His eyes stared at the same boulder where he had first spotted the sleeping boy, but he was no longer there. Kanda's frown deepened, not in annoyance, but in unnatural anxiety.
Where was he?
Kanda started to run along the stream, his dark eyes frantic as they grazed over every single square meter of that place, hoping to glimpse at those pure ivory locks that were whiter than snow. The samurai could feel his heart beating wildly as his anxiety grew, and he could feel his muscles tensing in distress. His bare feet were scratched up by all the sharp pebbles he came upon, but the pain could not register into his mind. A part of his soul was pushing him, urging him to continue running, to continue searching for that someone who suddenly became precious to him, for reasons he didn't know. All Kanda knew was that he had to find the nameless boy.
He ran, and he ran, leaving a trail of bloody footprints, as his foot sores grew worse. Gritting his teeth as the pain started to gnaw at him, hindering his ability to run properly. Should he stop? His logical mind eagerly agreed, but his heart protested. No, a voice within his soul whispered, with a striking vindication that was unbelievable even to him. Don't stop. Don't ever stop. What was that darn beansprout always saying? Oh, yeah. Keep walking. Keep moving forward.
"How'd that twerp get involved in this?" he grunted in annoyance, feeling pissed off by the mere mention of that retarded beansprout. Strangely, however, he couldn't remember what Allen looked like. He couldn't even remember who Lavi really was, or who Lenalee's older brother was. It was as if his angst was eating away his mind, dissolving all the unimportant things, and keeping that unnamed boy the only focus of his thoughts. Where could he have gone?
A drop of sweat trickled down his jaw, and Kanda hastily wiped it off as he continued his search. He had no idea what time it was, or if time really mattered in that place, but the fact that the sun wasn't getting any friendly told him that it might have been a little past noon. Dark eyes glanced that the tempting coolness of the flowing stream, and he was so tempted to just jump in and forget about all his anxieties.
But of course he couldn't. There were other things more important to him than a mere bath.
"C'mon, where the hell are you?" he growled, hissing a bit as his wounded leg hit another sharp stone. That boy couldn't have gone too far… There's nowhere to go. Kanda would be damned if he discovers that the boy had decided to venture away from the stream. The forest encasing them was huge, and there's no telling where the boy could be. Kanda's only hope was that the boy was still somewhere near the stream.
Ten more minutes passed, and Kanda was getting exhausted. A semi-permanent grimace was already set on his face, manifesting all the pain his abused feet were experiencing. Where, in god's hell, was that boy? Can't he just stay put and sleep like before? Kissing would definitely not be enough this time, Kanda thought, obviously oblivious of the fact that his thoughts were definitely strange. Where are you, where are you, where are you, where are you, where are you, where are you, where are you, where are you, where are you, where are you, where are you, where are you, where are you, his mind chanted. Tsk, he's been doing that a lot lately. Making useless mantras that sounded stupid even to him.
Breathing a bit laboriously, Kanda sighed as he reached the origin of the stream: a small waterfall. I guess washing up a bit wouldn't be too bad after all, he thought, reveling on the feeling of cool water against his scratched up skin. A small sigh of temporary relief escaped his lips as he placed himself beneath the waterfall, taking an impromptu shower.
Kanda closed his eyes and allowed some of his stress to be washed away. The feeling of the cool fluid flowing down his flustered body was heavenly, and for the tiniest fraction of a second, he felt like abandoning his mission. But the mere thought was immediately banished from his mind, and his eyes shot open, settling into his usual frown. No, I can't stop. I have to keep walking. I have to find him.
A rustling noise caught his attention. Kanda's head snapped towards the small bush of fat, delicious berries that suddenly started to move. Without the tiniest hint of hesitation, Kanda jumped out of the water and ran towards the bushes, every fiber of his being screaming that this was it. This was what he'd been looking for. The possibility that it might have been some sort of wild animal didn't even cross his mind. Kanda was already sure, even before he saw those soft, silver-white locks. His heart already knew.
"You," he managed to whisper, as he stared at that same beautiful boy, lips surprisingly redder than usual because of the berries he had eaten. Kanda couldn't help but roll his eyes in exasperation. So this person went away just to eat freakin' berries? Huh. It's so funny; I can't help but not laugh. Kanda knelt down in front of the boy, leaning towards that cherubic face, which clearly revealed the element of surprise. The boy didn't move away, nor did he say anything. He didn't even try to pull away when Kanda's breath grazed over his berry-stained lips. Kanda smirked softly, finding this submissiveness cute. His hand gently held the chin of the younger boy and without further ceremony, their lips met in a tongue-filled adventure.
Kissing had never been his forte, but Kanda wanted to try. His lips clumsily and immaturely explored the younger boy's mouth, getting the sharply sweet taste of those berries the boy had been eating a while ago. The boy participated actively, searching Kanda's mouth as ineptly as Kanda was, with a seductive form of enthusiasm that turned Kanda on. The unnamed boy was vigorously exploring his upper body with those small, pale hands, while Kanda's own fingers were passionately interlocked with the boy's snow-white hair. Their kiss evolved from exploring to conquering. Tongues on a fierce battle for dominance, Kanda couldn't help but release a low moan of pleasure as the other boy's tongue grazed over every single sensitive spot in his mouth. A gasp came out of his lips as the boy decided to become more daring and left Kanda's mouth in order to pursue his jaw and neck.
Kanda's body was literally shuddering in all the spasms of pleasure invading it. His eyes remained closed, desperate to feel the boy's pleasurable antics against his skin. In his lust for more, he couldn't help but push the boy harder against his neck, wanting more of that feeling.
A small growl of protest came out of his mouth when the boy decided to leave his neck, but it was soon muffled by his own moans after their mouths had decided to resume their passionately luscious war.
"Name," he groaned, when his lips were freed for a moment. "Give me your name."
The boy smiled and opened his mouth to reply. But before Kanda could hear it, everything started dissolving into a chaotic whirlpool around him. Horrified at the possibility of losing the boy again, Kanda desperately tried to hold on to that frail body, but alas, the force pulling him away was too strong for him to outdo. A mortified shout escaped his mouth as he saw the boy slowly dissolving away too, along with their surroundings.
"No!"
--------------------------------
And so, at that fateful moment, Kanda's eyes flashed open into reality, staring straight at the same gray eyes he had seen only seconds ago. As he continued staring, wondering if he was still in his dream, a voice echoed through his mind, carrying the name of the boy in his dreams.
Allen.
The sound of the chair finally being broken down into multiple pieces resonated all through out his room, as Kanda gave it one last brutal kick. He can't get back to sleep, his room was a mess, his mind was in a bigger mess, and this foreign burning feeling that uncomfortably twisted in his chest was driving him crazy. Damn it, where was the Earl when you needed him? That fat-ass really has bad timing.
His eyes snapped towards the direction of his enchanted lotus, scowling at it with newly found vehemence. Why can't that damn thing just hurry up and wilt already? Kanda has half the mind to commit seppuku* right now. The thought of slicing his stomach open and letting his guts out wasn't actually comforting, but it was better than to remain alive.
He can't live with this. Not with this kind of immoral thing.
But what can you do? That small voice in his mind whispered again. You want him, don't you? You want him for yourself, and only for yourself.
Shut. The. Fuck. Up, he hissed in reply, losing his patience with that other voice in his head. Oh god, he was having voices in his head? Shit. This was a sure sign of his deteriorating mental health.
You can't deny it forever, Yu, the voice whispered, with a creepy tone that blatantly stated "I know I'm right, and soon enough you'll know to."
Don't call me that! He inwardly growled. We're not fucking close and – well, we're not "close" in the emotional way since literally speaking you're part of my goddamn mind so we are close but –
"Oh, screw this!" he snapped, as he hit his head on the wall multiple times. "Why, the fuck am I talking to myself?! I'm going crazy, and it's all because of that imbecile!"
Of course, Kanda couldn't possibly blame his self. No, he just couldn't think that it's his fault he's having these steamy dreams about Allen. No, it's definitely not his fault that he's been eagerly licking his own lips every now and then just to savor the lingering taste of Allen's lips. Nope. Zero. It's definitely not his fault.
His head was throbbing so much. "Can I pass out now?" he hissed at an unseen god, and after hitting his head one last time, Kanda's prayers was answered. As the darkness crawled over his vision, he momentarily wondered where the hell that beansprout ran off to and if he had jumped off a cliff or something.
"One less idiot in the world," he muttered, a smirk playing on his lips. But at the back of his mind he truly wondered if the boy was all right. It wasn't worth denying it any longer.
Kanda liked Allen.
-------------------------------
A/N: Finally! I totally loved the steamy kissing scene part –is visualizing it right now-
Oh well! School's over for me, so I'll be updating faster than before. Although, I have, other stories to update too, not to mention RPG sites to maintain and etc. I'm planning to take piano lessons this summer, and I am seriously going to learn how to play the Musician's piece (the one Allen was playing) –drools- that song has a really beautiful melody. And it was the song that brought Kanda back to life so YEY!!
The other chapters would have more Lavi and Tyki in them, though I plan to make Tyki a whole bastard in this fic, so sorry for all the Tyki fans out there. And when I say Lavi and Tyki, I didn't mean that there'll be a LUCKY pairing in here. :P It's pure YULLEN, my dearies.
And wheee~ I found a wooden katana in my room! X3 I plan to paint it to make it look like Mugen –goes off to buy paint- Though my cousin owns a REAL katana. And when I say REAL, I mean REAL. It's got some dried red stuff on the tip of the blade though. O__O I don't think I want to know what it is and where it came from. O_O;;
Review, please! This is, like, my very first YULLEN and –gasps- my very first…y-y-yaoi fanfic? ___ So please review! 140~