"I will never judge you. I can only love you. Come now running headlong into my arms. Breathless."-Taylor Swift
"Paul, please calm down," Embry pleaded as he pulled me away.
But I couldn't. The anger bubbling in my body was almost too much to handle. I couldn't understand why I didn't just kill her then. Maybe it would be selfish? What if I died because the vamps were there? That would've left Jacob alone, and I couldn't do that. My wolf wanted to kill her, but it also wanted to stay with Jacob. I couldn't leave him no matter what.
We got back to Jacob's house before long. Sam was standing outside with his right hand running through his hair. He seemed stressed, letting out deep breaths that made his chest rise dramatically. He was covered in sweat. The screaming had stopped, though, so that meant the breaking had stopped.
"Where did you go?" he asked.
"Don't even talk about it," Embry growled.
"Can I go see him?" I asked.
Sam nodded. "Yeah, go see him, but be extremely careful."
I was absolutely ecstatic that I could go see him. I ran inside and to his room. He was there, covered in sweat and tears, his entire body wrapped in bandages to completely set the bones. I almost wanted to cry, but I had to be thoughtful of him. I had to be strong.
"Hi baby," I whispered, kneeling down next to the bed.
He tried to turn his head to look at me, but he stopped suddenly and took in a sharp breath.
"It's okay, sweetheart," I continued to whisper. "I'm right here. I love you so much."
"I love you too," he managed to spit out.
"It'll all be okay soon." I let out a long breath. "I promise."
I didn't know if I should sit on the bed and hold his hand or if that would just hurt him more.
"Is everyone okay?" he asked.
"Everyone is fine baby."
"Good."
There was a long pause.
"I love you," I stated.
"I love you too," he whispered. "Paul, can you come up here?"
"I don't want to hurt you baby," I replied.
"You won't," he assured me. "I can already feel my bones healing. I just want to cuddle to you and feel your warm touch."
"Okay baby."
I got up and climbed onto the bed, being especially careful not to touch any of the bones on the right side of his body. I tried to get as close as I could, and then Jacob filled the gap. He rested his sweaty head on my chest and sighed.
"I love you," he breathed.
I kissed the top of his head. "I love you too baby. Forever and always."
He cuddled closer to me, nuzzling my neck. I put my arm around him, trying not hurt him. He winced in pain, but held my arm so I wouldn't move.
"What can I do for you?" I asked. "What can I do to make you feel better?"
"Just be with me," he whispered. "And never let me go."
"I can do that." I kissed the top of his head. "I will never let you go. We will be together forever, I promise."
"Paul?" he asked.
"Yes, sweetheart?" I mused, running my hand through his hair.
"I want kids," he whispered.
I was surprised at what he said. Of course I wanted kids, but I didn't really think about it. We were young, and I was gay. How was I supposed to get kids anyways? What could we do together to make it happen? I heard of surrogate mothers and adoption, but it was way too early to think about it.
"Don't you want to go to college?" I asked, trying to sound as calm as I could.
"No, I want kids. This whole near death experience has made me think. I want to have kids and get my own house and everything."
"We need to make more money," I replied. "We need to be stable before we can have kids."
"I want them soon," he whispered. "I will do anything for them."
"Baby, I don't know if I'm ready," I told him.
"Oh," he sighed.
I kissed him. "I'm sorry baby. Let's talk about this later, when you're not so hurt. You'll have a clearer mind. I know that you want kids, and we will soon. I promise."
"Okay."
"Why don't you just close those pretty little eyes and go to sleep?" I suggested. "The doc must've put a lot of drugs in your system."
"It's too hard," he whispered. "I'm scared."
I kissed the top of his head. "Why are you scared baby?"
"I'm afraid I won't wake up," he answered. "And I'm afraid you won't be here next to me."
"Oh, baby." I brushed the back of my hand against his cheek. "Everything is going to be okay. I will never leave your side, no matter what happens. And you will wake up in the morning. I will make sure of it. There is no way that I will let you go like that."
He nodded. "Okay, but you promise you'll stay?"
"I promise," I whispered. "Just go to sleep, my beautiful angel."
"Okay." He kissed my chest. "Good night, Paul."
"Good night, baby."
As soon as he closed his eyes he fell asleep. I sighed, his steady breathing calming me. Too much had happened in one day. We fought vampires, Jacob almost died, I almost killed Bella, and then Jake told me he wanted kids. What was I supposed to do? My head was swimming with thoughts. If we were to have kids, how would we do it? Would we adopt a child or have a surrogate? What if Jacob never got better? What if Bella came back?
Why did all these thoughts have to attack me at once? If I could, I would send all the thoughts away. I wished that I could help myself, but I wanted to help Jacob first.
His breath became heavy and irregular. At first it scared me, like he was having any sort of problem, but his breath steadied again. I let out a loud sigh and looked down at him. He was the most beautiful thing that I had ever laid eyes on. His soft, caramel skin felt like a baby's skin. His lips were full and tasted like sugar. His hair fell gently into his face. Everything about him was perfect, and I was so thankful to have him.
Before I was a wolf, I was out of control. I would fuck anything that moved, I used drugs, and I didn't care about anyone besides myself, but, as soon as I saw Jacob, everything changed. I decided that I couldn't continue on the path I was on, so I stopped smoking weed, I helped more around the house, and I didn't have anymore one-night-stands. If I wanted Jacob, I was going to have to change. There was no way I could keep someone at the rate I was going.
And I flipped my world upside down.
SORRY FOR THE SHORT CHAPTER. IT WAS REALLY MORE OF A FILLER, TO SHOW WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN. PLUS IT'S BEEN SUPER BUSY ROUND HERE. FINALS COMING UP. SO THIS IS WHAT I GOT. HOPE YOU ENJOY! :)