Handicapped Love Chapter 8, a d.gray-man fanfic

A/N: WHAT THE HELL IS WITH THIS WRITER'S BLOCK???

That's all I can say. D:

Disclaimer: I do not own D. Gray-Man D:

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Chapter 8

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"Ne, Mana?"

"Yes, Allen?"

"What is 'love'?"

"Oho, why this question all of a sudden? Did you find your special someone already?"

"Huh? What are you talking about?"

"Hahaha, Allen, Allen. Love is something that cannot be explained. The only way to understand it is to experience it."

"Experience it how? How will I know when I'm in love?"

"Hmmm…well, to put it simply, love gives you a really warm, pleasant feeling in your heart. It's a warm feeling you would want to protect with all your might, even if the world is against it."

"Huh?"

"You're too young, Allen. Someday, in the future, you'll find your special person, and then you'll understand."

"…"

"Allen? Are you alright?"

"Yes…but… Mana, how will I know if someone is my special person?"

"When that person makes you do things you never imagined you would be doing, just for the sake of love. When you feel that you're ready to die for that person's safety, that's love. When you feel that you are capable of fighting the whole world for that person's sake, that's love. No rules, religion, culture, or beliefs can keep both of you away. All that matters to you is that special person and nothing else."

"But… isn't breaking rules bad? Won't God be angry?"

"There is nothing wrong with loving, Allen. Remember that. Love appears in many forms, and not just in the standards humanity had created for it. God won't be angry at you for following his greatest commandment; to love."

"But Mana, I already love you. Wouldn't that make you my special person?"

"Allen, the love we feel for each other is a different kind of love. Like I said before, love exists in many forms. Not all the love you feel for other people is the same as you feel for me. We're family. That's where our love comes from. But there is a form of love that can surpass even the love that we feel for each other; a form of love that can outshine all the others. That kind of love would be the one for your special person."

"…eh?"

"Listen, Allen. It's too early for you to understand. You don't need to think too hard about it right now. All of it would come in the future. Okay? By the way, are you hungry?"

"Is that supposed to be a question?"

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"Tyki!"

Lord Tyki Mikk uttered a silent curse as his precious card pyramid – one he worked on for hours – toppled down into a messy stack on the coffee table. Annoyed golden irises sharply turned towards an innocently grinning spiky-haired girl. "What is it, Road?" he asked, teeth gritted in exasperation as he collected his cards and started reconstructing his paper pyramid.

"I heard from the Earl that you didn't kill that samurai bitch," Road chirped, the rough words incredulously came out of her mouth in melodic octaves. "So why'd ya not kill him?"

"…bitch? Wasn't that samurai a guy?" Tyki blinked and feigned ignorance. He really didn't want to talk to Road right now.

The girl sarcastically rolled her similarly golden irises. "Yes, he's a guy, but his hair just makes him look so much like a fucking bitch."

"Stop talking like that," Tyki sighed, slightly irked by the fact that such a cute-faced girl would have such a rough mouth. "It's not…nice."

"When I want to say fucking bitch I'll say fucking bitch because fucking bitch is the right way to describe that she-male fucking bitch who killed Skin, and acting nice would make me seem like a hypocritical fucking bitch so I don't want to stop saying fucking bitch 'cuz it's cool to say it an' all," she sweetly replied, a hearty cackle following her speech. Tyki's mouth twitched into a disgusted scowl and decided to ignore Road's rants.

"Ne~ don't get off topic, Tyki," Road pouted and sat on Tyki's lap – much to his annoyance – and wrapped her arms around his neck. "I just want to know. It isn't like you to get merciful, especially towards someone like that samurai dickhead."

Tyki raised an eyebrow at Road's earlier statement. "Merciful?" he replied, an incredulous tone in his voice. "That isn't exactly the best word to describe what I did to that wimp." He paused as a wide, malicious smirk appeared on his face. It might be possible that his aura had morphed into something sinister too, since Road can't help but slightly move away. "No, I think 'horrible' or 'demonic' would have been a better term. Really now, Road, do you think I'd let one of the exorcists that I hate the most die so simply? Puh-lease, I'm not that merciful."

At this point, Road's mouth twisted into an equally malicious smile. "So…what did you do to him? Did you plant one of your Tease in his heart too? Did you shave his hair and made him permanently bald? Did you cut off his penis and—"

"No, I didn't do any of those," Tyki snapped and frowned as he felt annoyed over Road's suggestions. Really now, did she think that he was that shallow? They've been living with each other for years…surely she thought of him higher than that?

Road's face turned from amusement to confusion. Her perplexed expression pissed Tyki off all the more. So she did think that he could not be capable of something crueler. "So, if it's none of those, what did you do, Tyki?"

"I severed his brain's contact with his arms of course," Tyki blatantly stated, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "A samurai without the hands to grasp his most beloved sword…" he paused and licked his lips as his eyes took on that same sinister look once more. He looked down at Road, a manic look on his golden irises "Beautiful, isn't it?"

For a moment, Road just stared at him with her mouth gaping open. Just as Tyki was about to presume that the girl was struck speechless by his awesomeness, loud fits of laughter suddenly erupted from the spiky-haired Noah.

"That is so fuckin' lame, Tyki!" she shrieked and laughed wildly as she rolled around the carpeted floor. A deep scowl appeared on Tyki's face as he glared at his little cousin, not at all amused by her expression. Sheesh, didn't she even consider how hard that was? Targeting something so specific in a part of the body as complicated as the brain…really now, Tyki wasn't a freaking doctor for heaven's sake. He should be branded a genius by being able to do such a thing. But no. No one appreciated his awesomeness.

"You should have cut his arms off instead," Road commented, the laughter stopping. "That way it would have been more painful. I would pay a million bucks just to hear that jackass scream in pain," she added as she maliciously licked her lips. Tyki sighed and rolled his eyes. "That's the problem with you, Road. Everything you do is too simple, that even if it's severe, it's easy to fix. Think about it. If I had cut off his arms, the Order would be advanced enough in their technology to give him new arms that he could still use. But if I 'killed' his arms, he'd have to live with it everyday, staring at his impotent arms that can no longer hold his beloved sword. Imagine how much that thing is killing him."

Tyki looked back at Road, hoping to see a look of approval or awe, but then the Noah of Dreams merely snorted, unimpressed. "Hmph," she replied. "But then, he can have it cut off too, and the Order would surely use anesthesia for that. And that's not fun," she whined, crossing her hands over her chest.

An exasperated sigh came out of Tyki's mouth. "Come on, Road. Aren't you supposed to be the shrewd one here? You're the Noah of Dreams for heaven's sake. You should know all about psychologically destroying humans," Tyki retorted. "Physical pain is easily forgotten, what stays longer is the pain they feel within," he drawled as he felt a little uncomfortable since what he was saying was so cheesy. "Don't you understand? Instead of cutting his arms off and giving him no choice but to deal with the Order's technology, I'm giving him a choice. A hellish choice on whether or not to let go of the part of his body he treasures more than his head. It'll drive him insane, I assure you."

"But still," Road pouted in disappointment, crossing her arms over her chest. "I'd rather hear real screams than wait for his sanity to disintegrate in silence. It's too boring."

"Whatever," Tyki snapped and rolled his golden eyes. "I don't care if it bores you. I don't find it boring at all. Even if you're the eldest, Road, you can't stay old-fashioned. We're no longer in the era where iron maidens, bladed pendulums, and torture chambers are in fashion. Think modern."

"Hmph," Road huffed indignantly and started stomping out of the room. "I'm off to see the Earl. At least he's not as boring as you." Tyki just sighed as Road stuck her tongue out at him before slamming the door. "Honestly," the brunette groaned. "This place is driving me crazy."

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Uhhhhhh…..Ohhh-kay….where the hell am I??

Allen's footsteps eerily echoed against the dark walls and made the place a lot more uncomfortable for the young exorcist. He didn't know this part of the place yet – they had just moved in a couple of weeks ago – and so he had no idea how to get back to his room. Well, at least I'm probably far away from Kanda now, he thought at first, but after an hour of running nonstop, his stomach decided to start a new language composed of loud growls and rumbling noises.

He could live without clothes. He could live without his Innocence. Hell, he could live without Kanda. But damn, he can't live without food; and not just food. It should be a mountain of food made out of steak, roasted beef, lamb chops, curry, mashed potatoes, pasta, and many more of his favorites. There should be a matching hill of ice cream as well, filled with vanilla, cookies and cream, rocky road, strawberry, and many, many more. As these thoughts filled Allen's mind, his mouth literally started brimming with drool, while his stomach released a howl of hunger.

Allen walked on with a desolate expression on his face as a hand pathetically cradled his noisy stomach. He was desperately praying to all the saints he knew, that maybe, by some miraculous play of fate, he'd soon end up in the kitchen.

But the boy knew that he was far, far away from the kitchen. He knew because he dutifully memorized all the possible routes to the cafeteria. And this dark, creepy corridor was definitely not one of the paths he knew.

Okay, Allen. Breathe in. Breathe out. Think. Think. If you can't find a way…make a way!

Allen smacked his forehead as he felt really tempted to slap himself over and over again because of his outright stupidity. Of course! Why didn't I think of it eons ago? A wide grin appeared on Allen's face as he closed his eyes and concentrated. The lyrics of that mysterious song once again floated into his mind.

And then the boy falls asleep

The flame inside the breathing ashes…One, then two

Rise up and expand into that beloved face

Thousands of dreams, dreams that pour onto the earth

Allen could feel that weird feeling rushing through his body once again. It was a feeling he disliked, but because he used it often, he was no longer bothered by it. He himself couldn't properly explain that feeling. He felt power rushing out of him… but somehow, it wasn't his. It was as if there was something…someone…inside him, and that was the source of the power.

On the night when those silver eyes trembled, you were born, shining brightly

Millions of years

No matter how many prayers are returned to the earth

I shall continue praying

Please, give this child love, joined hands, and a kiss.

Finally he could feel the gate opening in that area. Haha, Komui would probably scold him again for using his Noah powers so frivolously. Oh well. He'll deal with that later. The top priority was to get to the dining hall.

He stepped into the white portal and found himself once again in the all-too-familiar whitewashed city of the Ark. Allen started walking around as he tried to remember if he somewhat created a gate in the dining hall. If not, he'll just have to find that door that led to the entrance hall of the building. From there, he'll surely get to the dining hall soon. Allen fervently hoped that Jerry would still be awake even if it were almost midnight.

Now that his anxiety about getting lost was depleting, Allen's mind wandered back to the events that occurred earlier that evening. A fierce blush rose into his face as he recalled those sharp, midnight blue eyes that stared at him, so intense with shock and bewilderment. What was Kanda doing right now? Was he hunting him down? Was he going to report to Komui and accuse him of sexual harassment? Was he going to tell everyone that Allen was gay? Was he sleeping or was he still awake?

These questions exploded and salvaged every corner of Allen's mind, the way a fierce tempest would ponder and pillage the sails of a ship. He was feeling dizzy just by thinking about it. Kanda, he thought. I wonder if he hates me now. Long ago, Allen wouldn't have cared if Kanda hated him. He didn't like Kanda before anyway. But now… now it was sort of…different. Allen couldn't understand. He just…just found himself liking how they always bickered and argued about all the tiniest things. Somehow…their arguments became a way of them understanding each other better. Through their fights Allen found out more about how Kanda did things, his thoughts, principles, and beliefs. Not being able to argue with Kanda or even release one word of profanity towards the other for one whole day is awkward. One could even call it weird or unnatural. Anyway, for Allen, his day wouldn't be complete without the involvement of a grumpy exorcist.

Why was that anyway? Why do things feel wrong whenever he doesn't get the chance to talk or even think of Kanda in one day? Why was he suddenly willing to break the rules, to defy all forms of morality, just to get a taste of that sweet forbidden fruit?

"No way, Mana," he said out loud. "It couldn't be Kanda. I'm sure of it. This is just one of those awkward teenage phases….where…er…uhm…I think it was something about a sudden increase in one's sex drive or something…damn, I can't remember what Master said." Well, how the hell would I remember what he said? He was in bed naked with another sleeping woman who was also naked. As if that in itself wasn't enough, they had to be positioned in a really, really disturbing way.

Allen shuddered and shook his head violently, desperately pushing the dark thoughts away from his mind. That dreadful scenario had been the shattering point of his childhood innocence, and from then on he had never been the same. After that, every time his Master and a woman would enter a room, he would know what they would be doing there. And just imagining it made him nauseous.

"Like I said," Allen continued, talking to an imaginary Mana. "It's impossible for it to be Kanda. Really. I researched on love you know," he continued and frowning as he tried to remember what he researched. "Apparently it exists in three forms: eros, philos, and agape. Eros is the romantic love, where all you-know takes place," he explained to no one. "Philos is the love found in family and friendship. That's what we have. That's what I have with the others," he added. "And lastly is agape; the love that consumes. It's said to be the most powerful among all forms of love. I don't think I'll be experiencing that soon. I don't even think I'll experience it ever."

He then crossed his arms over his chest defiantly. "So, I hereby conclude that Kanda is not my special person. It's just this stupid teenage lust that makes me go crazy whenever I see him. You can't blame me, you know. There are hardly any girls in here, and one lewd look at Lenalee would get me killed via Komui. Kanda's the nearest thing to a girl (What did master call him? Oh. A she-male bastard.) so I've got no choice. You can't accuse me of being gay," he scowled. "I'm telling you. This is just a phase…just a phase. I'll get over him, I promise. I'll meet a pretty girl somewhere who's way nicer than Kanda. Then we'll get married and have pretty little children. If ever I get a son, I'll name him after you. So don't get angry at me, okay?"

A minute passed and no one answered. Well, duh.

Allen just sighed and shook his head in surrender. That's it. He was going crazy. Voices in his head? Not good. Kissing Kanda in his sleep? Bad. Talking to an imaginary Mana? Really, bad. It's time for him to hit the rubber room.

Fortunately, before Allen was convinced that he was no longer in the realm of the sane, his stomach released a loud, commanding growl that pulled him back together. "Oh, right," he mused and chuckled sheepishly. "Thanks," he said as he pat his stomach. "Almost lost myself there. You're right, Mr. Stomach. Food comes before anything else." His stomach released a lower, more sublime growl, which he took as an agreement. He stopped in front of the door that read "Headquarters. Entrance Hall" and opened the door.

"Ittadakimasu!"

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"Oi, old man, what the hell is Marie babbling about?"

"Marie? Why, what's he saying, Yu-kun?"

"Don't call me that! Anyway, he's talking about how he's in love with this girl in the ice cream parlor and he just can't stop talking about the damn bitch! What the hell is wrong with him, old man? What the fuck is this 'love' thing?"

"Yu-kun, before I answer your question, kindly put a stop to all your profanities while talking to me. It's not nice."

"The hell I care. So? What is it? This thing called love?"

"You're pretty interested about such a mature thing, Yu-kun. That's nice."

"I'm a freaking kid, Tiedoll! Ten years old! Of course I'm curious! And no, I just want to know about love so that I'll know how to avoid it. I don't want to end up as stupid-looking as Marie."

"Now, now, Yu-kun. Don't be like that. Your brother is just on those early stages of his teenage love where he's impulsively attracted to others."

"I'll be what I want to be, old man! Now just answer the damn question! What the hell is love?!"

"-sigh- Impatient as always. Okay then, I'll explain. Listen carefully and remember."

"Hmph."

"Love is something very unpredictable. You can never know when or where it will appear. You can't even detect it immediately, even if it was waving a hand right at your face. There's no way you'll understand what love is until you experience it."

"Why's that?"

"Well, think of it like this, Yu-kun. Would someone who was never cut by a sword know the pain it causes?"

"No."

"It's the same thing with love. You wouldn't know what love is until you experience it yourself."

"But there's got to be a clue about its presence or something! Don't be stingy with information, old man! I want to know everything! How would love generally feel? Even when a sword never cut someone, they can have a vague idea of the pain if someone, who's been cut, would tell them about it. So tell me, old man!"

"You're cute when you're that persistent, Yu-kun."

"Shut up about nonsense and just give me the damn description!"

"Okay, okay. Love is a sort of warm feeling."

"Warm feeling? Like the warmth of tea or something?"

"No, it's not physical. I say it's warm because it's pleasant. Love gives you a sense of internal peace, as if nothing is ever going to go wrong. When you're in love, you feel free and strong. You believe that you can do anything, no matter how impossible, just for the sake of the person you love. You're ready to stop the tide, to move moon, to capture the stars and to defy gravity, just for the sake of your special person. You're ready to break the rules, disobey your own culture, traditions, and religion just for the happiness of the person you love. You become selfless, and you are ready to sacrifice even your life. Isn't love wonderful, Yu-kun?"

"Che. That's just stupid. Who'd want to do all that for a single person?"

"Haha. You scoff at it now, Yu-kun. But once you fall in love, you won't be able to say that."

"Whatever, old man. I knew it would be a bad idea to ask you about love in the first place. And you reek of paint, sheesh. Take a goddamn bath once in a while."

"There's nothing wrong with the smell of paint, Yu-kun. And call me 'Papa'."

"Do the world a favor and just die."

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"Ah, Lavi. Can you do me a favor?"

The red-haired exorcist turned towards the Chinese girl, raising a questioning eyebrow at the porcelain vase filled with white lilies in her hands. "Yeah, Lenalee? What can I do for you?"

"Here," she replied, handing him the vase. "Kanda broke the porcelain vase I bought for him a few days ago. I thought I'd give him a new one to brighten up his room a bit. I heard he's still moody about his arms and all."

"Oh. Sure, I'll give it to him, Lenalee! Leave it to me! But you know, to tell you the truth, when I saw those flowers I thought you were planning to put them on Allen's grave," Lavi mused and chuckled as he took the flowers. "I know that Allen's strong, but to babysit Kanda? I don't think even the Noah are strong enough to endure that."

"Don't say that, Lavi! I'm sure those two are getting along…just fine. I even heard that Allen is doing all that he could to train Kanda with leg techniques. He even sacrificed his lunch time once!" Lenalee argued, though having her own doubts.

Lavi easily saw her uncertainty and just grinned. "Okay, okay. I believe you, Lenalee. But in case I'm right, let's buy flowers together okay? I'm sure Allen would like flowers on his grave. What do you think are his favorite flowers? Ah! Maybe he'd rather have food instead of flowers. But that'll be a pain. He likes too many kinds of food."

"Lavi!" Lenalee scolded.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm going," Lavi replied, still grinning. "But think about it, okay? At least we'll get to offer flowers before the Order cremates him." The young bookman was smart enough to run away quickly before Lenalee completely lost her patience.

He finally arrived in front of Kanda's room and loudly knocked. "Ne, Yu~ I'm here to give you a present from Lenalee~ Open up!" The one-eyed boy cautiously stepped away from the door in case the samurai decides to suddenly kick it open. "Yu~ Yu~ Open up! Yu~!!" He continued calling on, but still there was no reply. "Yu? You're not doing anything weird with Allen in there, are you?" He added, frowning at the delay. Kanda hated hearing Lavi use his first name. He should have reacted by now. "Uh, Yu? Yu? You still alive there? Yu? Allen, you in there? Allen?"

The redhead glanced at his wristwatch. It was five hours past midnight. Yu usually rises at four in the morning. Why the hell was he one hour delayed? I have a bad feeling about this, he thought, and decided to do something he knew he would regret. "I'm coming in, Yu!" he shouted and kicked the door open.

"Uh-oh."

Kanda was unconscious on his bed, almost half of his pillow colored red because of the blood that seeped out of a wound on his head. "Oi! Yu! Yu!" Lavi exclaimed in alarm and ran towards his friend. "Get a grip, Yu! Oi! Oi!"

"What's the matter, sir Exorcist?" a voice asked and Lavi turned to see a finder peeking through the open the door. "Get me medical staff and a stretcher! An exorcist is wounded, got it? Hurry!!"

The finder looked shocked for a moment before he pulled himself together and rushed through the corridors. Lavi took off his band and placed it around Kanda's head as he applied pressure on the wound to stop the bleeding. What the hell happened to you? he wondered, and then saw a red stain on the stonewall. So that's what happened, he contemplated as his lips turned to a frown. However, he couldn't tell whether this was self-inflicted or the work of someone else. Noah? No, they couldn't possibly have infiltrated the new headquarters. Was it someone from Central? No, it's unlikely. Sure, Leverrier had been sort of pissed off with Kanda's brazen personality, but even he wouldn't stoop so low as to attack an already wounded warrior. So, if it's now self-inflicted, then why do it?

His sharp eyes caught Kanda's mouth move, with no sound coming out. Immediately, Lavi's eyes widened. He couldn't have been mistaken. As a bookman, one of their skills was to lip-read easily. There's no way he would misinterpret the movement of Kanda's lips.

Only one word came out. In fact, it wasn't a word. It was a name.

Allen.

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A/N: I'm sorry for the delay. D8 Writer's block suddenly came out of nowhere, and I just can't type a single word. Dx But now…I think I'm fine.. 8D…I thing. --_--

Summer time is also busy, and with my piano lessons in the way, I can't update that easily. I'm also part of , so I'm pressured to finish this 100-page comic book script in one month. =.=

So, yeah. 8D Please continue reviewing, and it would be very helpful if you point out any grammatical errors and spelling mistakes that my Beta and I might have missed. 8D Thanks.

And just for the fun of it, and as my way of saying sorry for taking a long time in my update, I'm including an omake in this chapter. 8D Enjoy.

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Lavi was bored.

And whenever he gets bored, thousands of really mean pranks enter his head.

Monday morning, Allen Walker woke up and found his hair dyed bright green. Also, every piece of clothing he had was swapped with something frilly or silky. And as if that wasn't enough, the young exorcist found out that the food in the kitchen stockroom mysteriously disappeared, so they were forced to live on instant noodles for the rest of the day. Allen didn't like it. He didn't like wearing lacy lingerie under a frilly maid's uniform either. No. He didn't like it at all.

Tuesday morning, Yu Kanda woke up and found his hair dyed hot pink, curled and braided. Also, Mugen was vandalized, and now, the sheath has drawings of cute, little cats on it. And as if that wasn't enough, the soba ran out, and all that was left were a fridge-full of sweets. Kanda didn't like it. He didn't like the outrageous purple ribbons were tied to his hair either. No. He didn't like it at all.

Wednesday morning, Lenalee Lee woke up and found out that someone shaved her hair until it was shiny. Also, someone tattooed an "I love Nii-san" at the back of her neck. And as if that wasn't enough, all her clothes had been swapped with a goth's clothes, complete with the piercings, fishnets, tattered jeans, and black make-up. Lenalee didn't like it. She didn't like the stash of marijuana that was stashed in her closet either. No. She didn't like it one bit.

Thursday morning, Miranda Lotto woke up and found out that someone had painted her face to make her look like Frankenstein's wife. Also, her hair had been bleached into old grey, and styled in a way that would make Einstein look hygienic. And as if that wasn't enough, all her clothes were swapped with shirts that had "I'm a loser" printed on it. Miranda didn't like it. She didn't like the way someone had painted her Time Record bright orange either. No. She didn't like it at all. That's why she wept miserably all day, and attempted suicide thrice.

Friday morning, Alystar Krory woke up and found lots of man-eating flowers in his room. Before he could try being nostalgic (since he took care of them before), the flowers start gnawing at him. Later, (after escaping many near-death experiences) Krory finds out that someone drugged the flowers in order to hear "I hate you" all the time. Krory didn't like it. He didn't like the way the flowers tore his Eliade doll either. No. He didn't like it at all.

Saturday morning, Noise Marie woke up and found lots of speakers in his room. And all of them were playing hardcore punk music with three to five swear words in each sentence. Also, someone managed to tie his strings into troublesome knots. And as if that wasn't enough, his collection of Mozart music was stolen, and replaced with rock music from his most hated singer. Marie didn't like it. He didn't like the way most speakers were encrusted to his walls and fortified with titanium (it's virtually indestructible so he can't turn them off). No. He didn't like it one bit.

All in all, Lavi liked it. And his boredom was over, so he was now satisfied. On Saturday night, Lavi Bookman slept with a smile on his face.

Sunday morning, he was no longer smiling.

Instead, his hair was dyed hot pink, while half of his head was shaved clean. All that he wore were lacy underwear and a gothic lolita maid's dress. Stitches were drawn on his body using permanent marker, making him look like Frankenstein. Headphones were super-glued to his ears, while attached to a radio where super-loud hardrock music played over and over again. Aside from that, man-eating flowers were placed around his bed. His hands were bound and his mouth gagged. Lastly, an "I'm a loser" was written on his forehead. There's no need to mention how much bruises and wounds he received from being beaten up by five furious exorcist (yes, even Miranda did. She hit him with a feather pillow).

From that day on, Lavi swore never to become bored again.

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valkyrievamp: Hahahahahahahah!!!

Allen and the others: -glares-

valkyrievamp: Haha…ha…ha……ha…(sweatdrop)

Kanda: I'll kill you. I'll really, really kill you bitch! (draws out Mugen)

valkyrievamp: WAAHH!! Allen-kun! Allen-kun! Save me!

Allen: Yeah, sure I'll save you. I'll do that even if you dyed my hair green and made me wear lacy underwear. I'll save you and kill you in more painful ways (turns to Black Allen)

valkyrievamp: ….(sweatdrop) L-Lenalee…?

Lenalee: Eh? Are you talking to me, valkyrie-san? (is sharpening her heels)

valkyrievamp: …..-gulps- C-come on, guys….(laughs nervously) It's just a joke. No need to be this serious….. (slowly backs away)

Krory: I was never fond of jokes (bares fangs)

valkyrievamp: Eh??!? Waaah!! Lavi! Lavi! Save me! You know how much I love you, right? Ne?

Lavi: Of course, I know. And I love you too. So much is my love for you that I'll personally escort you to hell! (activates Innocence)

valkyrievamp: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

(after three hellish hours –there is NO NEED to imagine what happened-)

valkyrievamp: (all bruised and bleeding) P-Please….r-review…. (passes out)