A/N: I am so sorry for not updating for so long. D: I thought this summer I would have more time, but in the end my folks kept on dumping summer activities on me like stupid camp and other lame stuff that I can't get on my computer and type this chapter.

And WTF is wrong with the goddamn weather? It gets as hot as the Sahara desert in the morning, but when the afternoon comes, it starts raining like the whole Pacific ocean was pouring all over the country or shit like that. Dx It's annoying me. :|

But at least my writer's block is disappearing so, yeah. xD This chapter wasn't beta-ed yet, so if there are typos, or the grammar's grating on your nerves, then I would like to apologize in advanced. D:

Disclaimer: I don't own D. Gray-Man. But I want it. 8D

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Chapter 9

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Kanda knew something was wrong.

Something was definitely messed up.

But he couldn't figure it out yet, since his head felt like it was being overrun by dozens of bulldozers all at once. What the fuck? He thought, both irritation and confusion overcoming him. What the hell happened?

The grumpy samurai winced as he opened his eyes, cursing at the painfully bright fluorescent lamp hanging above him. He had no idea where he was, but he was sure that this was definitely not his room.

"Hey, Yu. Good thing you're awake. How're ya feeling?"

Kanda's wince automatically morphed into a scowl as he glared at the grinning redhead seated beside him. "I feel worse because you're seated beside me," he growled. "Where the fuck am I?"

"You're in the infirmary, duh," Lavi replied, rolling his eyes. "Really, dude, did you think you were anywhere else? I found you in your room an hour ago with blood gushing out of your head like some morbid spring of death or something. Seriously, what the hell?"

"Shut up," Kanda snapped, his face still in a semi grimace as the pain in his forehead failed to recede. "You're giving me a headache."

"You already have that."

"I said, 'Shut. Up.'"

Lavi mockingly stuck out his tongue as the other teen sat up from the bed, wincing in obvious pain. "You really shouldn't get out right now, Yu. The Head nurse will just kick your ass back to the bed. We both know how crazy she can get," Lavi muttered in a low voice, taking a cautious glance around the room in case the nurse might be near enough to hear.

Kanda snorted. "As if. Shut it, stupid rabbit. I'm getting the hell outta here," Kanda hissed, standing up and roughly shouldering Lavi out of his way. He staggered a bit, but was still able to walk just fine. A loud growl came out of his lips as Lavi blocked his way once more.

"No way I'm letting you go without an explanation, Yu," Lavi stated, a deadpan look on his face. "The almighty Yu Kanda found in his room unconscious? With his head bleeding like a cracked egg? That is so gonna be a first in World History. I need input from you, of course. I'm still a bookman after all," the redhead explained, expectantly wagging his eyebrows at the grumpy exorcist.

"Read my lips. No. Fucking. Way," Kanda snarled. "Now, move." He said it with so much venom that Lavi had no choice but to instinctively stepped away. "Che," the samurai huffed, satisfied that his order was followed without any difficulties, before making his way towards the door.

"I know Allen's involved in this somehow," Lavi suddenly declared, making Kanda immediately stop in his tracks and turn to the redhead with a stunned expression. The young bookman smirked, knowing that he was into something juicy. "Gotcha," he snidely remarked. "You're reaction was a definite affirmative, Yu. Never knew you had it in you to purposely bash your head on the wall for your beloved beansprout's sake."

Kanda gave him in incredulous look. "Beloved beansprout?" he spat the word out with much distaste. "What shit are you spouting, you dumbass? And how the hell should you know what happened to my head? You weren't there."

Lavi rolled his visible green eye. "Dude, I'm a bookman remember? Do you think we get to record stuff like World History through observations alone? 'Course not," he replied, looking offended by the mere idea of his clan being so unprofessional. "I asked around, duh. Some finders saw Allen go into your room some time before midnight, and then rush out ten to twenty minutes later like the hounds of hell were chasing him or something." He paused and gave Kanda a teasingly dirty look. "What did you do to my Allen, you bastard?"

"'my Allen' my ass," Kanda deadpanned. "Stop being such a fag, you fucktard."

"I've got the hots for Allen, and you know it. So what? As if half of the Order's congregation ain't gay," Lavi retorted, shrugging unabashedly. "But seriously, what did you do to Allen? Don't tell me you raped him, Yu," he darkly muttered, his expression turning deadly. " 'Cause even if I consider you my best friend, I am absolutely gonna kill ya if you had any form of nonconsensual sex with my lil' angel."

"Don't you have anything else to do?" Kanda glared, thoroughly annoyed with what Lavi was insinuating. "Like, maybe start looking for your fucking mind, 'cause you've obviously lost it?" Kanda started walking out the door.

"Hey, don't change the topic!" Lavi half-shouted, roughly grabbing Kanda's arm. "You didn't deny anything yet! C'mon Yu! Just tell me the truth! Did you or did you not have sex with Allen?"

"What the fucking kind of question is that?" Kanda hissed, ready to headbutt the damn redhead, but was stopped by Lavi's serious expression. "Damn this shit. I didn't fucking rape your boy toy, you sick fag. Now, quit touching me."

Lavi immediately released Kanda's arm, a bright smile on his lips. "I never really doubted you, you know," he chirped, earning another glare from the other male. "But something must have happened to make Allen run off like that. Did you do something freaky? Like maybe kiss him?"

Kanda was about to deny it, but an image suddenly flashed across his mind. His mouth stopped, and his eyes widened ever so slightly. Holy shit, he thought as he started to remember bits and pieces of what exactly happened last night. He stared at Lavi – who eyed him curiously – for a few seconds, before turning around and almost making a run for the door. "Whatever," was the last thing the bookman heard the resounding sound of a door being slammed shut echoed all throughout the room.

The one-eyed boy stared at the newly placed cracks on the door for a few moments before grinning widely. "He didn't deny it," Lavi mused, licking his lips. "I'm really curious about what's going on between those two."

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Kanda walked – or staggered – through the corridors, glaring at every single person who dared give him a curious look. "Damn," Kanda muttered, wishing that he had the hands to at least clutch his aching forehead. The events of last night started coming back to him, much to the boy's displeasure. He didn't want to remember any of it. It made him feel a foreign feeling that wasn't actually unpleasant, but it wasn't comfortable either. And Kanda hated discomfort when it came to his feelings. He didn't like it when things didn't go his way. He hated it when his life is suddenly disrupted by annoying stuff. Stuff like cursed white-haired beansprouts for example.

His tongue consciously ran over his pale lips, and he winced, as he tasted that same, disturbingly luscious taste once again. So it was not a dream at all. Damn.

He could remember everything now, and the first thing Kanda wanted to do was to find Allen and beat the hell out of the damn beansprout. Hell yes, he was a good kisser all right, but hell no, he didn't have the right to kiss him while Kanda was goddamn sleeping. And he doesn't have the right to do that when I'm awake either, he instantly added as an afterthought, in case his not-too-stable mind started getting the wrong idea. Yeah, damn it, fine, that brat is not at all bad looking. He's got the prettiest grey eyes I've ever seen, and even if his hair still pisses me off, it ain't bad when the moon hits it. His face is too fucking girly for a boy but it still looks good on him, though I won't mind punching the lights out of him as soon as get my hands back to normal. Shit, his body is not unattractive too, Kanda started ranting inside his mind. I'm thinking all this but, NO, I am not gay.

Oh, really? A tiny, imaginary voice in his mind rebuked. You sounded gay to me.

Shut up, Kanda mentally snarled. This is the first time I've complimented someone this much and you're accusing me of being gay? What the fuck? Are you a retard?

…You really shouldn't be asking me that, you know. Kanda could almost imagine the voice smirking, if that was actually possible.

Kanda released a menacing growl that automatically made those walking by him move a safe twenty meters away. "Hey. You," he snapped at one unfortunate finder who was three feet too close. "Have you seen that beansprout?"

The finder gulped and a tear of sweat rolled down his cheek. "B-Beansprout? The man weakly asked, knowing nothing about what Kanda was talking about. Kanda hissed in annoyance, making the unlucky finder warily make a step away. "That damn small exorcist. Allen Walker," Kanda repeated, getting more pissed off by the fact that he actually had to say that idiot beansprout's name.

"Ah, I-I saw h-him in the d-dining hall thirty minutes ago," the finder stammered.

"Che," Kanda grumbled before walking away from the petrified finder. Stuffing himself again and again…fatass bastard. Kanda hurriedly stomped towards the cafeteria, a malevolent ambiance surrounding him. I'll kick him to death. I swear I will.

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Allen felt happier now.

Well, actually, it was his stomach that was happier. Allen himself felt superbly miserable.

"I'll say sorry," he muttered, eating one dango. "No, I won't." And he ate another dango. "I'll say sorry," and another dango disappeared. "No, I won't," he stated, eating the second-to-the-last piece on the plate. The white-haired boy solemnly stared at the remaining dango with tortured silver-grey eyes. "I'll…say sorry, I guess," he sighed in resignation, taking the dango and devouring it with one bite.

"Hell yeah, you should."

Allen almost jumped out his seat as the painfully familiar voice entered his ears. His eyes immediately clamped shut, afraid to acknowledge the presence of the other male. "K-K-Kanda? Is that you?" he weakly asked, praying to St. Jude – patron saint of lost cases – that he was wrong.

"Uh, no, this is Satan and I'm taking you to hell, you damned beansprout," came the growling reply. "Who the fucking else did you think I was?"

"Er, maybe someone who's not you?" Allen snapped, retrieving his guts as his annoyance towards Kanda's speech came back to him. "And it's Allen. A-L-L-E-N. Do I need to write that down for you, since your small brain can't handle the stress of remembering it?"

Kanda's eyes narrowed. "That's a real good way to start your apology, beansprout," he growled. "Keep it up and maybe I won't forgive you."

"Did you even plan to forgive me in the first place?" Allen irritably asked.

"Probably," Kanda shrugged, but then caught the look of complete shock on Allen's face. He scowled, offended. "Well, guess what? I changed my mind," he grumbled, glaring at the other boy. "I think I'll kick your ass now."

"Wait!" Allen smacked his forehead. "Okay! Okay! Sorry for snapping like that! Your face just pisses me off for some unknown reason," Allen flinched as he watched the look on Kanda's face grow murderous. Okay, so that was not the right thing to say. "Fine, sorry! I'm sorry for what happened last night even if it was your fault and—"

"Wait. Hold one damn minute," Kanda interrupted. "My fault? How the hell would it be my fault? I was fucking asleep, dipshit. There's no way that was consensual on my side."

"Can you at least censor yourself once in a while?" Allen sighed in exasperation. "And yes, it's your fault since you were the one whose supposedly 'dead' hands suddenly grabbed my head and pulled it towards your face," he stated in a hushed voice, rendering Kanda speechless for a few seconds.

"What?" he gaped at the shorter boy in disbelief.

"I said, you were the one who started it all," Allen muttered with impatience, feeling annoyed for being asked to repeat what he just said. "That time, when your hands first moved, I lied about what actually happened. You didn't punch me," he continued, his voice growing smaller and smaller. "You kissed me."

"That's bullshit, beansprout."

"I'm not fooling around," Allen replied with a deadpan expression that had no traces of humor in it. "It's the truth. And you've done that thrice, only the third time… well I," Allen paused, looking away as a heavy blush appeared on his face. "I…wasn't able to help myself and got a bit carried away," he finished, his voice barely audible. He somehow hoped that Kanda didn't get to hear the last part clearly.

But Kanda heard every damn word. And even he had the brains to avert his eyes while his face grew hotter by the second.

"Shit, this is so messed up," the older boy muttered after a full minute of awkward silence.

"I know that already."

"Shut the fuck up. I need to think."

"Whoa, never knew you could do that," Allen mused, getting the urge to be cheeky at the wrong time.

"What the fuck? You just confessed to almost raping me in my sleep, and now you're acting like a total bitch," Kanda growled, glaring at the cursed boy.

"I was just stating a fact, you jerk."

"What part of your goddamn sentence was a fact, dickweed?"

"The part where you didn't have a brain, prick."

"Alright, forget forgiveness," Kanda snarled, flexing his legs. "I am so gonna kick your cursed ass."

"Oh really? Let's see you try."

A thick aura of hatred and murder began to envelope the two, warning all those nearby to move away if they value what's left of their insignificant lives. Kanda heatedly glared at Allen, and the younger boy mirrored his actions. But before they can snap each other's heads off, a shrill voice caught their attention.

"Allen!"

The two boys turned towards the direction of a Chinese girl who was moving towards them. "Komui's looking for you," Lenalee explained. "He's got a mission for you and Lavi, and he wants you to stop babysitting Kanda from now on," she continued, grinning at Kanda who scowled at her in return. "He said, and I quote," Lenalee added, her voice dropping a couple of octaves as she imitated her brother's voice. "'Kanda could survive without Allen unless he's gay and they're totally having sex behind my back'."

Allen almost threw up all of his breakfast while Kanda growled menacingly.

"Can I kill your brother, Lenalee? Can I?" Kanda hissed, his eyes downright murderous. "Please?" There. Now he should definitely be allowed to kill Komui. He never liked begging, and rarely said please, but for this one time, he knew it would be worth it if he could shut that fucktard in a box forever.

"Sorry Kanda, but no," the Chinese girl chirped and hooked an arm around Allen's own, whereas the cursed boy was still stunned by the idea of he and Kanda having sex. "Let's go, Allen. Stop acting like someone just stole your soul, or you'll end up looking guilty."

Allen snapped back to reality. "Guilty of what?" he asked, eyeing Lenalee suspiciously.

"Guilty of having sex with Kanda, of course," she sweetly replied, and started running before Kanda could react, dragging Allen along with her.

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"Lenalee, I don't know about Kanda – his hair says so much about his sexuality – but I'm not gay. Please don't mistake mere camaraderie with romance," Allen protested as he and Lenalee walked towards Komui's office. "I'm serious. I'd rather lose my virginity to a rock, than have sex with Kanda."

Allen didn't like how his words were coming out of his mouth. It sounded as if he was trying to convince his self than convincing Lenalee.

"You sound like you're not so sure Allen," the girl teased, giving the boy a suggestive smile. "It's as if you're convincing yourself."

Allen blushed, and crossed his arms over his chest in defiance. "What are you saying? Forgive me for saying this, but did Komui know that you have quite a dirty mind?"

"Oh, shut up," Lenalee sighed, flicking Allen's forehead with a finger. "You two argue like a problematic couple. And now with you spending much time in Kanda's room, it's hard not to have ideas like that. That's the reality of this world, Allen." They stopped in front of a black-coated mahogany door.

"What a stupid reality," Allen muttered under his breath. Lenalee threw him a dirty look before opening the door. "Brother! Allen's here," Lenalee announced as she and the boy walked into the cluttered office.

"Hey Allen," a red-haired boy greeted him with a casual wave.

"Lavi!" the grey-eyed boy exclaimed, hurriedly taking a seat beside his friend. "It's been weeks since I last saw you!"

"Same here, Al," Lavi replied, a smirk on his lips as he ran a tongue over his lower lip. "Same here."

Allen frowned at the strange look Lavi was giving him, but before he could ask about it, Komui loudly cleared his throat to catch their attention.

"Alright," he started, gesturing at the huge world map behind him. "Now that Allen's here, we can start with the briefing," he paused and took a piece of paper from his chaotic desk. "This mission takes place in Cairo, Egypt," he started. "Apparently, a small alabaster statue of Anubis was discovered in the Great Pyramid of Giza two weeks ago, and it started attracting akuma all of a sudden. We think that the statue might contain the Innocence fragment."

Allen raised his hand. Komui raised an eyebrow. "Yes, Allen?"

"How is it that the akuma haven't taken over the place yet? It's been two weeks, after all," he asked.

"Ah, well," Komui explained. "The Innocence seems to have the ability to summon rather violent sandstorms. All the akuma trying to enter are either blown away or destroyed. But we don't think that the Noah would be deterred by a mere sandstorm. That's why since the probability of a Noah being involved is high we had got no choice but to send you. And you need Lavi since he's the most knowledgeable when it comes to ancient places like the pyramids of Egypt."

"Oh. Okay," Allen muttered, frowning at the thought of meeting other Noah. The last time he had seem them was during the battle in Noah's Ark. According to Kanda, Tyki Mikk was back to normal. And so probably Road was the same. The frown on the boy's face deepened. So did that mean that even his Innocence could not exorcise the evil from the Noah?

"You're Innocence is effective in going against them, Allen," Lavi suddenly commented, as if reading the other boy's mind. "You've got the weapon but you don't have the means," the bookman shrugged. "Exorcising something as ancient as the Noah is not something as simple as just stabbing them with a holy sword. My guess is that there's a ritual or something complex involved."

"Hmm," Allen thought about it, and presumed that Lavi was probably right. It worked a little with Tyki, but it was clearly ineffective against Road. He remembered that moment when he had stabbed her with the sword, but nothing happened. "Only those who knows my true form can kill me," he remembered her stating.

"You're to depart as soon as you're ready," Komui stated. "You can read through the whole report during the trip. It's best if you go now."

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"Hey, Lavi, wait."

Lavi turned his head towards the shorter, white-haired boy approaching him. "What's up, Al? Maybe you can keep it short or something since I've gotta get packin' an' all," he grinned.

"Ah, okay," Allen replied, looking slightly uncomfortable. "Uhm, I was gonna ask about something that happened in Komui's office. It kept bugging me, I thought I'd just have to ask you about it."

"About what?" Lavi asked, feigning ignorance since he knew exactly what the boy was talking about.

"About that look you gave me," Allen continued, frowning. "You looked as if you know something."

"Oh, really?" Lavi mused, his one eye holding a mischievous gleam. "What do you thing I know? And is it something really important?" He continued, determined to tease the young boy more.

"C'mon Lavi," Allen complained, getting annoyed. He paused, then decided to take a different approach. He set his lips in a cute pout, and made the best puppy dog eyes he could pull off. "Please tell me."

The redhead licked his lips. God, the boy was so cute when he did that. It made Lavi want him more. Too bad Yu's already got a head start. Oh well, he thought, smirking. I'm sexy enough to be a worthy rival.

Lavi moved closer to Allen and abruptly leaned towards the younger boy's ear. "You're one naughty boy, Allen," he whispered in a sexy voice. He moved his head so that there were barely any millimeters between his and Allen's face. Allen stared at Lavi with a shell-shocked expression, which the bookman only respond to with a grin.

"You kissed Yu, didn't ya?"

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A/N: Ah…Lavi. I love you for being such the cynical jerk you were made to be. But Kanda's still my fave bastard so I'm not making this Laven. :P This is purely Yullen, love.

LOL, I just thought about it now, but if Laven is Lavi/Allen; Yullen is Kanda/Allen; Lucky is Lavi/Tyki; then what's Kanda/Tyki? Is it Yucky? xD Don't sue me! I'm not against Tyki/Kanda love! D: I'm actually a supporter, and I'm planning to write a fic about them in the future, it's just that I don't know what to call the pairing! Dx

I can't write an omake now since I'm not inspired. D: That omake in the last chapter was inspired by my brother poured pink paint on my sister's hair by accident. D: That's where I got the idea of pranks and lulz. xD But now I'm out of ideas. Maybe you can suggest some? 8D I'd be happy to write about them all. XD