A/N: Hi all it is time for a new story. I know I seem to always write about the same topics but it is just easy for me to write. When you love the Hallow sisters as much as I do you start to realise how much it looks like Esmerelda is on the edge of depression, in series one she even shows signs of this. This story takes place during series two when she has no powers and this time she goes deep into depression. This one does not have as dark topics as some of my others so it will be rated T. I hope you all enjoy. Sorry this opening chapter is so boring but I had to introduce the story.

The Darkness Inside

Chapter One

Lonely

Esmerelda was sat in her bedroom and angrily slammed the book she was reading shut. Useless, just like all the other books she had been reading recently. The girl sighed and lay down on her bed trying to stop her thoughts trailing off into dark ones.

Esmerelda had lost her magic exactly two months, eight weeks, ago. At first she really didn't care to much, she was in shock and she didn't realise what the impact of her having no powers meant but after a few weeks when it hit her it hit her hard because Sybil was preparing to start at Cackles and she realised in that moment she would not be going back.

Her parents had told her that they would find a solution to give her magic again but so far she had not heard anything from them, she tried to ask them once but they just told her they had not gotten around to it yet. Esmerelda was not sure if they honestly didn't care about helping her or if they were putting it off because then they could blackmail and make people feel sorry for their poor non-magical daughter who had tragically lost her powers because of Agatha Cackle. Either way, Esmerelda suspected by this rate she would be getting her powers back by the time she was old and sick and no longer needed them.

The blonde was upset, and for a while she was angry with Ethel for helping Agatha but that anger lasted about a week, she loved Ethel she couldn't stay mad at her, she knew Ethel had problems and despite what people said about Ethel, Esmerelda knew she did love her and Sybil, she just got caught up in all this bad behaviour that sometimes things happened. Plus even though Esmerelda knew other people were giving her sister a hard time about it Esmerelda knew Ethel had made up for it. She would be dead now if it wasn't for Ethel running through the castle whilst it was collapsing and saving her she would have died as of course she was a trophy, she couldn't exactly of gotten up herself and walked out, and Ethel had felt guilty about it as well afterwards.

"Esmerelda, how about I give you my powers, you deserve to attend school with Sybil" Ethel had said three weeks into the summer holidays. So many people didn't know Ethel well but Esmerelda knew her to well. She knew when she was upset and she knew when she was happy. She could tell when Ethel was being genuine with apologises or if she was faking it, yes Esmerelda knew Ethel probably better than anyone else and when she had said that she knew her sister was serious about it.

"No Ethie, I would never let you give me your magic, just look after Sybie yes? You know how afraid she gets" Esmerelda had replied hugging Ethel tightly, Ethel had sighed telling her to think it through but Esmerelda would never consider it.

Having her sisters was what kept Esmeralda sane. Somehow her being powerless didn't matter, they went to the libraries or parks or theatres and talked and messed around in each others bedrooms whilst they were off. Their parents of course worked and worked and they only had each other which was just the way she liked it. But now Ethel and Sybil were at school and had been gone for a few weeks. Esmerelda knew her love for her sisters could border on addiction and she would not try to deny it anymore. She missed them so much her chest hurt, she mirror called them but it wasn't the same as being with them.

The girl was so bored in that moment. There was no technology in the mansion and she had read so many books the last two months she could feel her head hurt, it had gotten to the point where she had given up on books, she can't of being the only witch to lose her powers in history but apparently she was as there was nothing about it in any books she read. Even in restricted books she had a hard time finding.

Someone knocked on her door in that moment as Esmie was lost in thought, Esmerelda didn't move but spoke in a bored voice

"Yes?" she said bored out of her mind

"Lunch is served" she heard the familiar voice of their butler, Sebastian, tell her. Esmerelda sighed and sat up before leaving her bedroom. A change of scenery might stop her going out of her mind. She climbed the stairs and went and sat at the dining room table where the food was ready. Her parents were working and she sat at the twelve person table alone feeling lonely and not liking the quiet. She looked down at the food on her plate. Some sort of cold pasta with tuna, more appealing than school food's serving of cement but still not nice by any means. The blonde girl looked around and seeing she was well and truly alone as the servants were busy elsewhere she picked up her plate of food and dumped it in the bin. She didn't feel hungry at all. Not that it mattered, missing one meal would not kill her. She had never being a big eater anyway and right now the last thing she felt like doing was eating.

She put her plate on the table and then left, going back to her bedroom. She felt like she was going mad being in this house alone, that had been happening a lot lately, she just felt lost and numb. Sometimes fresh air helped her so she walked to her bedroom preparing to go out.

She looked at herself in her mirror in her bedroom. She had not bothered to do anything with her hair as of yet and she looked like she had fallen in a bush. She picked up her hair brush, brushing through her blonde locks and decided to curl her hair so she looked a little more like she made an effort. She was a Hallow after all and her reputation was already soiled, she didn't want people seeing her and saying she dressed like a homeless person.

Therefore Esmerelda unwrapped the cord of her hair curlers and plugged them in. She had brought the hair curlers when she lost her powers because her parents had demanded she have her hair curled for a party but of course she had no magic and Ethel said she didn't know how to curl hair yet by magic and she didn't want to risk it as she could go bald. Esmerelda had therefore brought some inexpensive curlers and as she had them she must as well use them she told herself.

She waited for the curler to warm up and then took a piece of hair and started to curl it. 'Bloody non-magical devices take forever' Esmerelda told herself as she held her hair on the curler and waited knowing it was going to take ages to do all her hair.

Esmerelda was curling her fifth piece of hair when her cat, Morgana, started rubbing against her legs, wanting cuddles of her mistress.

"Not right now Morgana I am busy" Esmerelda told her familiar but Morgana being a cat of course decided not to listen and she jumped on the cabinet next to Esmie's mirror and started to bat at Esmie's hand with her paw.

"Morgana no!" Esmerelda said. She was so worried about burning her familiar that she dropped the curler in shock and it fell on her arm before falling on the floor, burning her.

"AHH MORGANA" Esmerelda shouted as she clutched her sore burnt arm. Morgana realised she was in trouble and ran off as Esmerelda unplugged the curler not wanting to stand on it and burn her foot as well.

"Stupid thing" Esmerelda complained as she looked at the nasty red burn that was starting to blister on her arm.

After a few minutes the pain started to die down a little bit and left her with a smaller amount of pain, it was comforting and for that moment she forgot she had no magic and about her worries because she was more focused about the pain.

Esmerelda knew little about self-harm. It was a taboo subject in the magical world. Afraid of the fact she was enjoying pain she put away the hair curler and threw on a jacket, knowing how cold it would be in September. She did live in Britain after all. She rushed down the stairs and out of the Hallow mansion before she could be tempted again.

Esmerelda must have walked for a good half an hour before she wrapped her arms around herself, cold, wishing she had brought a warmer jacket. She walked through the non-magical park seeing mothers playing with their kids and one mother with two little girls that reminded her of Ethel and Sybil she went and sat down on one of the bench's needing some space.

The more time she was alone the worst her mental state was becoming. Everything felt so dark right now and she had no idea how anything was going to change, she had tried to find a solution but had come up with nothing.

Esmerelda looked around sadly as she saw people happy despite the cold horrible winter weather and she felt that familiar feeling of missing Ethel and Sybil and squeezed the burn on her arm making the pain feel more intense, she knew she shouldn't do that as it could turn into a nasty habit but she couldn't help herself.

Esmerelda sat on the bench until it started raining and went and stood in the cafe for shelter. Looking at her watch she saw it was only an hour until Ethel and Sybil would be mirroring her and for the first time that day she smiled.

The rain stopped after a while and she walked home faster than normal, not wanting to miss her sisters mirror call. It was the only thing that made her happy these days.

She rushed to her room and sat in her room waiting for them to mirror her. They arrived right on time and Esmerelda smiled at them and waved.

"How was your day sis?" Ethel asked looking at her interested and Esmerelda sighed.

"Boring, how was your days?" Esmerelda asked and her and her sisters started talking to one another in deep conversation.

Before long Ethel and Sybil had to leave as their mirroring time was up. Esmerelda waved goodbye as the mirror turned transparent again and she was once again back in her world of loneliness and dark thoughts.