I'm so sorry. I know this is late and I do have something I would like to say to you all as to why it's late, but it seemed too long to put up here so I put it on my blog. (http: / letsgopokeitwithastick. tumblr. com) I'd like you all to read it but you don't have to. You're welcome to just read the chapter and … yeah…

I. Am. Saint. Jimmy: thank you, I know it was needed, I do think Nemo went a bit far but there was no doubt that their relationship was only based on a mutual history, love and sex. There was no communication or feeling in there so something had to give. I think she'll eventually feel bad for making such a HUGE fuss but overall I think it was a long time coming.

Sashaxh: *smiles sadly* sorry.

1945: Yeah, I kinda guessed you would be mad…sorry.

Rachy Babes: I just got your tweet. I've been smiling through today apart from the 10 minutes I spent on the phone to my mother and I just looked at that one silly comment and burst into tears. I just wish lectures would start so I have less time to myself. Oh honey…I just… :'(

Sonotalady: I think you're right about their relationship there. Out of pure desperation…do you get to see your family regularly. I know you're doing exams and learning and all that fun stuff so you seem to be the perfect person to ask.

Dwatlaskrhtcm: *sigh* I know I know, I'm evil…

Louder, louder, the voices in my head
Whispers taunting, all the things you said
Faster the days go by and I'm still
Stuck in this moment of wanting you here

Time in the blink of an eye
You held my hand, you held me tight
Now you're gone and I'm still crying
Shocked, broken, I'm dying inside

Where are you? I need you
Don't leave me here on my own
Speak to me, be near me
I can't survive unless I know you're with me

Why did you go?
All these questions run through my mind
I wish I couldn't feel at all
Let me be numb, I'm starting to fall

Kelly Clarkson - Haunted (I think Jack and I are feeling similar right now)

Jack sat in the car, his face was blank, tears were forming without his knowledge and his hand was gripped tightly around the object on his palm. He had no clue that was coming, no idea. His blindness astounded him as he looked back over the months she had spent giving him those smiles that were so normal and yet somehow empty. Every time he had convinced himself that she would just get over it like he did but he'd never even considered for a moment that she would do something like this.

A cool hand touched his wrist and he leaped up hitting his head on the roof of the car and turning to see Gwen, her eyes deep with understanding. She'd seen the argument. He looked down at his hand and opened it to look down at the intricate silver and sapphire ring that seemed to burn against his skin. He looked up at Gwen and his mouth opened in confusion and shock. She pulled him in for a hug and sighed. 'I know, I know.' A sob escaped his gritted teeth and he shook his head.

'I've lost her. I've lost her.' Was his heartbroken chant. Gwen shook her head and pulled away, forcing him to look at him.

'Jack Harkness you listen to me right now.' He looked up at her and Gwen nearly took a step back. She'd never seen this look. A look so raw, so emotional, so unlike her Jack. 'I've known you for a long time now and I might not know the secret to the way that daft mind of yours works but I do know one thing. The Jack Harkness I met that night, when it was pissing down with rain and freezing in those bloody awful florescent jackets. The Jack Harkness who let me break into his secret base and then took me out for drink to retcon me. That stupid, stuck up bastard, would not let her walk away from him without a fight.'

He watched her intently, forcing himself to believe every word that came passed her lips, 'because if you ever want to be with her again Jack, that's what you need to do. You have to fight. You have to show her that you understand her and that you know her and I don't mean fancy meals, hotel nights and shagging her senseless. I mean that you have to convince her that you're willing to communicate with her because without communication your relationship is doomed whether you love each other or not.'

'How?' he croaked.

'Leave it for a while. Leave her to calm down, to get a grip on her life, it took a lot of courage and energy to do that and you'll only make it worse if you start pressuring her into taking you back. Then comes the hard work. You're going to have to find ways to prove how well you know her, how well you read her. Sometimes that will mean a cup of tea, or a hug or just a game of cards but sometimes you'll just have to accept that she'll want to be alone, or she'll want to be with other people and you'll just have to work out when to be around and when to leave.' Gwen took the ring from Jack's hand and opened his jacket, slipping it into the inside pocket. 'You keep a hold of this. I have faith in you Jack. And you'll know when to give it back.' She took his hand and smiled before looking up at the car he was sat in. 'Is this the SUV!'

TTT

Gwen sat between Jack and Winter as they were smuggled over the Chinese border. Oswald sat opposite where they could see him and he smiled at the tension and mixed up emotions that filled the cabin. Jack was struggling to find something to say, Winter was praying he would say nothing and still Gwen sat and offered quiet comfort and support to the couple. It seemed so strange. She'd seem them argue thousands of times but it had never, ever been this bad. A normal argument would mean little snaps at each other for a couple of days and then they'd make up but this was massive, she'd never known them to just stop speaking to each other, to be so hurt that words truly failed them. So the only sentence she let passed her lips to break the silence was aimed at Oswald. 'You better wipe that smirk off your face or I will.'

The truck stopped soon afterwards and the three jumped out and escaped through the chain-link fence. Jack lead them to a safe house and immediately fell onto one of the seats. Winter took a position leaning against the window and phased out while Gwen phoned Esther and Rex on the other side of the globe in Buenos Aries. The check-up seemed fine and Gwen ended with a wish of good luck before hanging up and watching Jack attempt to move his bag to the bed. He groaned in pain and Gwen noted Winter's worried look in his direction but she moved over to Jack before the young woman was forced to check on him herself. 'Idiot.' She told Jack, 'it's not healed at all is it?'

'Sorry.' He groaned as she lowered him onto the bed to check on his wound.

'So life with the captain isn't as perfect as it seemed in my room back in DC?' Oswald chuckled as he joined Winter by the window his hand brushed her back and she span around, looking up at him.

'I have friends who would burn you from the inside out for the rest of eternity.' She hissed, 'touch me again and I'll introduce you.' He chuckled and swaggered away from her as if she'd just batted him away like a fly. Shang hi felt overwhelmingly foreign. She could hear the language if she didn't let the TARDIS translate, she could smell the spices and incense and she could taste the smoky air on his tongue. If she closed her eyes it was almost peaceful. A welcome serenity after such a painful life.

'A fine place to die in old shang hi.' Jack whispered.

'You're not going to die.' Gwen told him.

'I'm tired Gwen.' He told her quietly, 'This mortal life,' he tried not to look at Winter but he failed and he noted the way her back was purposefully turned on him, 'it hurts so much.' She soothed him gently but the interaction was interrupted by Oswald watching a drop of Jack's blood that had fallen on the floor.

'Well now.' He commented, 'I've never been to china before so I can't say I'm well versed in their customs but I've got to say,' he pointed to the drop of blood as it slowly moved along the flooring as if it was being drawn to something like metal to a magnet, 'I never knew about that.' Torchwood watched the blood as it moved towards the window and sunk into the gap between the wall and the floor. Gwen joined Winter at the window and looked out of Shang Hi.

'It's the blessing, it's somewhere over there. And I think whatever it is, it's calling you Jack.'

TTT

Winter sat on the floor by the window, her sword across her knees as she ran the damp sandpaper along the edge, polishing the surface after the sharpening process. The steady movements were almost therapeutic, the danger involved meant it required her full attention and the conversation in the room had faded away very quickly. It gave her time to forget about what she had done, to forget that she had ruined her own happiness to save it. Back at the house in Swansea Gwen had shown up in the room after quarter of an hour. She'd taken her in her arms and pulled her onto the bed, just holding her until there were no tears left in her body. Winter had expected her to be angry or at least confused but Gwen seemed to understand.

'It doesn't mean it's the end. You've still got a chance.' Winter stared blankly at the dressing table.

'How can that be true?' she muttered, 'I broke off the engagement, he'll hate me.' Gwen shook her head.

'That man doesn't have it in him to hate you.' She told the younger woman. 'Besides, maybe you did what you had to. This could be just the wake-up call that he needs to stop living in some made up world where relationships can be based on shared memories and great sex and to start realising that he needs to give a little more.'

'He just, doesn't understand.' Gwen narrowed her eyes slightly, trying to work out Winter's motives.

'Doesn't understand what?' Winter shook her head and they were silent for a moment, then she spoke again, quietly , as if someone might hear.

'Do you know,' Gwen turned to look at her slightly, 'Other than one quick thank you kiss on your terrible first da, before then, I'd never even kissed anyone. Properly kissed I mean. I didn't even think about it at the time but that means the first time I properly kissed anyone was on the floor of the hub at stupid o'clock in the morning, in the dark. The day before the fiasco with the Fairies.'

'Jack?' Winter shook her head.

'Ianto.' Gwen sighed and took Winter's hand.

'I miss him. So much.' Winter told her, 'I miss being able to talk to him about anything, I miss his hugs, I miss his coffee, I miss the way he used to sneak off to that room next to the archives when he was stressed for a cigarette.'

'Oh so that was why it always smelt of smoke down there.' Gwen realised, Winter laughed.

'And the way he'd dance around the hub with me when he'd had a few glasses of wine. He's the only person in the entire universe who ever totally understood me, the only one who always knew what to say. But I gave him away, then I lost him, then I lost Fawk.' Gwen sighed and squeezed Winter's hand.

'You can't just sit here and wish them back sweetheart, I've watched you and Jack and yes, yes there are issues but you'll work through them, because that's what a relationship is about. It's about working together as a partnership and when Jack comes around he'll start fighting for you. When that happens you need to let him prove that he's serious about this. Let him fight for you. God knows he could do with being taken down a peg or two.' Gwen smiled and Winter laughed gently. They sat on the bed for another five minutes but then Gwen had a thought. 'If you'd never kissed anyone until you came to Torchwood…'

'No, I never had a boyfriend either.' Gwen eased her way around the very personal subject.

'So you'd never…' Winter shook her head. 'But that means…'

'Fawks was my first. Not that I ever would have told her, can you imagine what that would have done to her ego. She already knows she was my first girl,' Winter shook her head, 'Although, it almost wasn't her.'

'Really, who?' Winter sighed.

'Jack, when we fell back in time to 1941 I met him but way back.'

'How far back?'

'Before he was immortal, before he'd met the Doctor.' Gwen gaped at her.

'Wow! What was he like?'

'Happier.' Winter told her, 'cheeky, charming, still Jack just…younger. Less like he carried the weight of the world.'

'Now that I would like to see.' Winter smiled.

'Can't change history though Gwen. I've used up my visitation rights. That Jack is gone.'

'Well then,' Gwen concluded, 'Let's get to work on our Jack eh?'

Winter leaped to her feet as Gwen decided to follow the blood to the blessing she sheathed the sharpened sword and followed the woman out of the door. Gwen didn't comment, just nodded to the younger woman and allowed her to tag along at her side. They headed down the street and around a small dump, up some stairs into a corridor and through a house with some rabid looking dogs. Gwen kept her eyes on the compass in her hands while Winter watched the surroundings for onlookers. Gwen looked up at a doorway with a banner hanging over it and shrugged, she ploughed straight into the shop much to the dismay of the confused owner. Winter tried her best to convey their regret for trespassing but she stopped when Gwen found herself at a large locked door.

'I need to get out? Can I get out?' Winter giggled at Gwen's confused face as the woman babbled in mandarin. 'If you open it you get rid of me. So, door, me, gone, bye bye.' Gwen told the woman.

'No door.' The woman warned them.

'What's behind the door?' Winter asked in mandarin. The woman looked at her and Gwen gave a frustrated glare at her companion.

'Why didn't you mention you could speak mandarin.'

'I speak every language thanks to the TARDIS.' Winter told her, 'But it was kind of funny watching you get by.' Had Gwen not been so happy to see Winter was finding things fun again she would have had a go at her, but even so the woman turned to both women and gave a shaken look to the door.

'That place. Many ghosts.' The woman backed away gently. Gwen handed Winter a pile of money and nodded towards the woman, Winter sighed and turned to her, fluently conversing with her in her own language.

'Please, we have to see what's through there, we'll give you all of this money. We just need to get through.' The woman looked at her intently.

'your eyes are old.' The woman told her. Gwen looked between them.

'What did she say.' Winter hushed Gwen.

'What do you mean.' He lady brushed her hand against Winter's cheek.

'The body you wear is so young but the soul inside is ancient. You have come to defeat the ghosts.' Winter nodded.

'To try.'

'pretty girl you may enter, but are you prepared to not return.' Winter's brow furrowed but she nodded none the less. The woman backed off and went to open the door. Gwen sidled up to Winter.

'What did she say to you.'

'Nothing interesting, just, small talk.' Gwen looked towards the opening door and took a few steps inside Winter followed behind her and frowned at the odd sensation in her body. Like she could feel the blood swirling around her body, pulsing through her veins and fuelling her every move. Together they backed into the shop again and the old woman watched them intently as Gwen re-locked the door.

'Very bad yes?' The woman asked. Winter nodded to her and replied.

'Yes, but we're still going to try and fix it.' The woman looked up at her.

'You are too sure. You must think, use your brain.' The old woman tapped Winter's skull and then moved her hand down to her chest, 'Not your heart.' The old woman wandered back inside the main shop area and Gwen hung up from a quick conversation with Jack before sliding down to sit on the floor by the wall. Winter stood next to the door and watched it intently.

'What do you think's inside?' Gwen looked up.

'I honestly have no clue what to expect.' Winter nodded at the reply and silently accepted tea from the old woman, sipping the warming liquid. Suddenly, it felt like the calm before the storm. The Gwen's phone rang.