I hope you enjoyed these extra-long chapters. This brings to a close a storyline I was kind of hoping to drag out a little further but thanks to silly old Moffat and bloody River Song and blah blah blah I have to close it a little early which is kind of annoying because it meant changing a lot. But I think this still works so I do hope you enjoy it none-the-less

Also, forgot to say that this is a companion piece to Rachy Babes running story line at the moment and therefore reading her chapters at the moment will let you know what's going on because Fawks is currently mucking about in my world :) This chapter is set after the ice world.

MoodySpark: That was indeed a reference to our favourite cowardly welsh chav thank you, I hope you continue to enjoy my story :)

sonotalady: I may think about Jenny for a one shot or something similar but the Doctor doesn't know she's alive and so that might change things that shouldn't be changed in case they bring her back to the series at some point. As for River… *sigh* I can't help it, the woman drives me insane. I like her old eps, but the more involved she got the more annoying she became and to be blunt I'm sick of her and wish she'd sod off and I refuse to accept that she and the Doctor…*shudder* no, Doctor/Rose all the way for me. But yeah, I may think about doing a bit on jenny, she was a pretty fun character.

Dwatlaskrhtcm: It's nice to be back even if it is going to be a lot slower than before. I love questions so feel free to ask away. I'm studying English Literature and Creative Writing and it's amazing. The course is currently really interesting and the seminar teachers are really supportive and lovely.

Rachy Babes: Oh dear me Darling, I think a de-coding machine is in order for that review. I am truly impressed you managed to work your computer in that state. I'm guessing Fawks spent the next morning telling you how much of a light weight you were. Don't listen to her, she's just an alcoholic.

Emzza: Any decisions on the wring front. If you don't fancy it or don't have time don't worry about it. Just letting you know th eforum was open for ideas :)

Sashaxh: yes she is :)

1945: Yeah he was, she was making a comparison so obviously the man in the flat reminded her of Bernie.

I woke up today
Woke up wide awake
In an empty bed, Staring at an empty room
I have myself to blame
For the state I'm in today
And now dying, Doesn't seem so cruel
And oh, I don't know what to say
And I don't know anyway
Anymore

It's killing me inside, and
Now I dread each day
Knowing that I can't be saved
From the loneliness
Of living without you
And, oh, I don't know what to do
Not sure that I'll pull through
I wish you knew

I hate myself for losing you
I'm seeing it all so clear
I hate myself for losing you
What do you do when you look in the mirror
And staring at you is why he's not here?
What do you say when everything you said
Is the reason why he left you in the end?
How do you cry when every tear you shed
Won't ever bring him back again?
I hate myself for loving you

Kelly Clarkson – I Hate Myself For Losing You

Winter knocked gently on the door of the room and pushed it open. The bedroom was dark and she could only just make out the figure on the bed. Quietly she closed the door and crossed the floor, her bare feet and linen pyjamas making almost no sound. She heard a grunt and whispered quietly. 'It's only me.'

'Nemo?'

'Yeah?'

'Why aren't you with Fawks.' She sighed quietly and muttered.

'I wanted to talk to you…about Jack.' She heard a rustle as the Doctor pulled the covers back.

'Some companions complain that I don't sleep enough, others spend all their time waking me up.' He moaned.

'I can go.' She whispered, 'I'm sorry I wasn't thinking, I'll come back in the…'

'No, no, come on, come here.' She crawled up onto the bed and he threw the cover over her wrapping his arm around her. 'Now, what's wrong?'

'I've made a mistake.' She whimpered. He rubbed her arm gently and kissed her forehead.

'What was it?'

'Telling Jack I wouldn't marry him I…I was just….I was stressed and upset and tired and angry with him for putting us in that situation and angry with him for not paying enough attention to me and it was a mistake and I don't know what to do.' He shushed her gently holding her close and warming her through.

'What's brought this on?'

'Fawks. She came back and I suddenly realised. It was like the pain of losing her was gone and all I could see was the mess it caused. All the arguments we had, the way we ignored the things that upset us. It was all because I was grieving and nothing was good enough for me.'

'You're allowed to be selfish every now and then.' He reminded her.

'But not if it means hurting him like that.' She disagreed. He took a deep breath and stared up into the blackness.

'You made a mistake. Yes. But you still have time to fix it Nemo. If anything it will just make you two stronger. He made the mistake of letting go of you at the bank and you made the mistake of giving up on him. You just need to work out how to fix it.' She nodded and snuggled in against his chest. 'Um…is this the part where you go back to your room.' Winter laughed quietly and smiled.

'But you're so warm.'

'Yes but you have a girlfriend waiting for you.'

'She doesn't even know I'm gone.'

'But she will when she wakes up.' Winter rolled her eyes and kissed him on the cheek.

'Alright spoilsport, kick me out into the cold.' She slid off the bed and picked her way through the dark and over to the door. Golden light cut through the room when she opened it and bathed her in its glow. She caught a glimpse of him in the bed and smiled gratefully. 'Thank you.'

She headed back to Fawks' room and slipped inside carefully, slipping back into the bed with her girlfriend and laughing as the demon snored and rolled almost on top of her. She wrapped her arm protectively around the older woman and closed her eyes. Now all she had to do was work out how to fix her mess.

TTT

The console room hummed in acknowledgement as Winter crept inside two nights after the groups excursion into the snow. She silently thanked the TARDIS for the extra warmth she was providing and leant over to the column to stroke it gently. 'I was wondering.' She asked, 'When I'm outside and I merge with you, I come here. And when you merge with me you go wherever I am.' A warm sensation tingled in her bare feet and she looked up considering her next words. 'So what happens if we merge together…at the same time I mean.' The lights dimmed as though the TARDIS was unsure about the idea. 'It's not like we haven't merged before, we just haven't done it together. I'm game if you are.' She waited for an answer but when none came she prompted one, 'Sister?' the glows instantly pulsated through the room like the flash-bang of a bomb.

Winter closed her eyes and opened her mind to the light, pushing back with her own glow. They seemed to meld in a dazzling explosion of glittering dust. Winter's eyes opened and she looked at the light as it broke into pieces and fell at her feet, tinkling like broken glass. Behind the shower of golden glass a new picture merged in front of her and as the last shard settled on the ground, the picture became a living breathing landscape.

She was standing in the middle of a forest, snow dusted the ground but the sun shone with a brilliant light and spring flowers littered the floor, unhindered. Winter noted the light footsteps on the ground and followed them through the trees to a crochet blanket on the floor. She looked up from the blue material and smiled when she saw Idris standing before her. 'This is a big where.' She giggled. Idris sat down on the blanket and pulled Winter down.

'Watch the wandering wind.' Idris commented. Winter rested her head on Idris' lap and followed Idris' finger to a gap in a bush. A head poked out of the gap and a wolf pup trotted steadily towards the pair. It rested their side and Winter ran her fingers down from between its ears to its nose.

'You?'

'Bad Wolf; Time, space,' Idris replied, patting the wolf on the head, 'A guide for the realms of space.'

'The light travels fast.'

'Exceptionally.'

'But it's not for light the bird leaves the nest.' Winter reminded her sister.

'The reason is incredibly personal and I'm not sure I follow to liking it.' Idris reprimanded.

'No theft in the matter, only parts to be saved from certain…'

'Scrap you have hold to your heart.' Winter sighed and shook her head, 'I grant you this gift, but no more thought on Daisy.' Winter looked up at the mention of her lost child.

'Daisy hardly enters my head now.'

'I block her from your mind when you are not in this place but you try to decipher your mind every day.'

'If I can't think on Daisy how do I not think on her?' Idris laughed and leant over her.

'You trust in your lost memory.' Winter nodded carefully.

'How can it be, the longer we speak the more sense we make.'

'This is the forest of contradictions, if we return our speech will once again be tainted with confusion. The snow falls only in summer and only the evergreens die in the winter.' Winter nodded and picked up the wolf pup.

'When shall we three meet again?' Idris laughed and lay back against the snow.

'We are always together in mind and spirit. Body is...better left alone.' Winter giggled and her eyes slid shut as though she was sleeping. Her eyes snapped open again at the feeling of a soft tongue against her cheek. The wolf still lay in her arms but it was now surrounded in a dim golden light, like a ghost. She put it down on the ground and followed it to each panel, it would look up at the panel and she would lift it so it could nuzzle the lever or button it wanted her to press. Eventually the glass bubbles in the column began to move and the pup padded over to the door.

Winter followed it, carefully pushing the doors open and revealing what appeared to be a cemetery for space ships. Lined one by one on every side of the desert landscaped was ship after ship. All powered down and left to rust. The wolf forged forwards and Winter jogged along beside it, finally it pulled up in front of a slightly less battered model. One Winter half recognised.

'Really?' She asked the little animal, 'But how do I get it on board.' The wolf began to run back towards the TARDIS but when Winter tried to follow it bent it's head towards her and a childish growl rumbled in its throat. She held her hands up and backed away. 'Ok, I'll wait.' She watched as the door to the TARDIS swung shut and the blue box began to fade out of existence. 'Now would be a really bad time for it to get thrown off course.' Winter commented to herself. Just as her sentence ended she heard the sounds of the engine and smiled as her hair blew around her face and the interior of the TARDIS materialised around her. She grinned and looked down at the wolf. 'I did not know you could do that!' The animal in question padded up the stairs and through the corridors and then stopped at one door. It looked back at Winter and shattered into the golden glass from the forest of contradictions. She felt a tinge of sadness at the loss of her guide but when she poked her head through the door her excitement took over and she headed straight for the wardrobe.

TTT

Jack woke in the empty bed and sat up, he was hungry. That was the first thought that hit his mind, the second was Winter, the feeling of waking up without her was definitely not something he looked forward to. In fact he preferred just not sleeping but that gave him too much time to think about her with Fawks so he settled on reading until he literally fell asleep on the book.

He jumped a little as the door opened but no one walked inside. A niggling feeling of excitement forced him to pull on his jeans from the day before, still with the braces attached, and head out of the room. He slid the braces over his shoulders to stop his jeans falling down and looked down each side of the corridor, catching a glimpse of brown and blue to the right he decided to follow it. A laugh caused him to turn left at the next corridor junction and a black linen scarf decorated with star patterns lead him to one particular door. He took a deep breath and pressed his palm to the doorknob, slowly he twisted the brass and prised the door open with only a slight sound from the friction. He breathed in and out gently taking in the deep sent of Winter and…engine oil. The light flickered on and he stood in awe of the space. The room was huge, big enough for several small boats and a large covered object. He stepped inside and the door swung shut behind him, the lights still flickered on a time loop of thirty seconds enough time for him to note the string leading from the silk sheet covering the large object to the space behind him. He almost turned around but stopped when he felt hands on his back, sliding over his sides and encasing him. A groan escaped his throat as a light kiss landed on his shoulder and he rolled his head back. 'Nemo?'

'Shhh, don't talk, just listen.' He nodded. 'I made a mistake.' He tried to turn around but she reached around him and pressed her hand to his mouth. 'No, I made a mistake. A huge mistake and I want you to know that. I want you to know that I realise what I said to you was wrong. I want you to know that I said it because I was tired and hurting and needed someone to take it out on. I had no right to make you work any harder then you already do for me. Because I know you do. And I appreciate every moment of it.' She pressed her lips to his shoulder again and made her way across his back as she spoke, 'I appreciate the way you look after me, the way you let Fawks have me when she's around, the way you look at me, the way you hold my hand and the way you seem to sit in my heart even when you're gone.' She took the string in her hand and tugged at it so the silk slid off the ship the TARDIS had found for her. 'And I'm never going to forget that again.' He looked up at the ship wide eyed.

'Is that a chula warship?' she didn't answer, he knew it was. She let go of him and let him tip toe warily towards the ship. 'What… Where… What is this?' he asked turning back to her. She fidgeted looking down at her feet.

'I guess it's… well it's a wedding gift…if you'll still have me that is.' Jack looked down at the black coat she had pulled tight around her figure and the corner of his mouth turned up. He headed back over to her and buried his hand in her hair, almost forcing her to look up at him.

'You know I'd never turn you away.' He told her honestly. His free hand snaked under the coat meeting the bare skin of her stomach. His fingers brushed the blue underwear Amy had given her for his birthday and he let slip a feral growl. 'You're mine.' He stated. Winter gave a small smile as Jack leaned down to kiss her, possessively.

She stood up on her tip toes and pushed him back towards the ship. Feeling the sense of relief wash through her as he groaned and properly unbuckled Winter's coat belt, pushing it off her shoulders, pausing only momentarily to look Winter in the eye as if for permission. She didn't say a word just pulled him against her body as he twirled her around and pinned her back against the door of the ship.

"Jack..." She whispered hoarsely in his ear and unclipped his braces and letting his trousers slide down slightly, he pinned her hard against the solid metal of the ship and kissed down her throat, muttering her name like a holy word. His fingers hooked in the blue briefs and pushed them down to fall at her ankles. Her breath staccato-ed as she tipped her head back, running one hand through his hair and the other up his chest, hooking around the back of his neck as he grabbed her hips, the both of them lost in pleasure. A single tear of relief slid down her cheek mixing with the light sheen of sweat. Jack moaned loudly into Winter's neck but her voice had failed her, stuck now in high pitched breaths and pants.

"Fuck..." Jack groaned leaning heavily on the outside of the ship his trousers hanging lazily on his hips and Winter still tight in his grip, her back pressed against the ship and her head on his shoulder. She raised her flushed face and looked up at him leaning in to meet his lips in a slow burning passionate kiss.

"I love you." she promised, slowly and deliberately. "I really really do," Jack held her face in one hand and kissed her forehead. Then gave her his signature grin.

"Kitten, will you marry me?" She let out a breathy laugh and nodded happily.

'Yes, a thousand times over.' He sighed and buried his head in her shoulder.

'Winter?' Fawks' loud call carried through the room and they both looked at the slightly open door.

'Fuck!' Winter yelped. Jack chuckled as she unhooked her legs from his waist and dropped to the floor attempting to gather up her clothes and put them back on. Jack chuckled and hit the panel next to the door of the chula ship. The door slid open and he tugged her inside letting it slid shut behind them. They crept up to the front of the ship and peeked out through the windows to watch Fawks peek in and see the ship. Winter's heart thudded in her chest and she felt Jack's hand snake around her waist, pulling her closer.

'You know technically it's you and her who should be hiding from me.' Winter glanced at him confused.

'Well that's how it normally goes. You're marrying me so I'm allowed to have sex with you, Fawks on the other hand is your girlfriend from back at Torchwood…I have the better claim.'

'You were my first kiss too.' Jack turned from watching Fawks admire the chula ship.

'Really?' She blushed.

'In that club after that idiot bouncer almost killed Pip.' He frowned.

'That was your first…' She turned back to watching Fawks and hid behind her curtain of hair. 'I always thought…' he paused trying to work out how to phrase his sentence, 'I just guessed you were more… experience.'

'Yeah well you don't get much time for that sort of thing looking after a bunch of kids, besides I always have standards.' He rubbed her side gently with his thigh and they sat down on the floor with their backs to the window. Jack froze suddenly and stiffened, Winter looked up at him in concern. 'What?'

'I just…'

'What?' Jack unconsciously pulled her closer.

'Ben.'

'Who?'

'The kid who took over your old group. The one Suzie sent to…hurt you.' She frowned and slid her hand down his thigh to wrap under his leg.

'I'd forgotten about him, whatever happened to him?' Jack shook his head.

'It doesn't matter, what matters is what would have happened if I'd been too late. One kiss and then everything just snatched away from you.' Winter sighed and twisted, sitting on his lap and looking deep into his eyes.

'Two things. One, You weren't too late so forget it. Two… two.'

'Two what?'

'Two kisses I kissed Ianto, the day before all that stuff with the fairies.' Jack got a cheeky look in his eyes.

'Really?' He paused for a moment then looked up sharply, 'Hold on! Does this mean Fawks was your first…'

'Oh stop it.' She interrupted and got up to check through the window. 'Come on, she's gone.'

'I have a better idea.' Jack pulled her down into his arms and kissed her fiercely. When he finally pulled back she smiled, a little dazed.

'I think I like this idea…a lot.'

TTT

'So,' Fawks pondered, trying to sound casual as everyone gathered in the kitchen for breakfast. 'Where were you last night?' Winter smiled.

'I had a little chat with the TARDIS.' She told them all. The Doctor looked up interested and Fawks seemed to relax a little.

'Oh, that's…nice.'

'Then Jack and I got re-engaged.' Amy squealed with joy and threw herself across the table.

'Congratulations…again.' The Doctor patted Jack's back happily.

'I'm glad you sorted it out.' Fawks however was glancing back and forth like she was watching a tennis match.

'You were? I mean you…But you were already…what?' Winter sighed and shrugged.

'I broke it off for a while because I was stupid but we made up last night and now it's going ahead exactly as planned.'

'Right.' Fawks nodded, 'cool.' She got up and put her plate on the side, 'I'm just going to…there's this ship in the hold looks like it could do with some work I might just…'

'Actually Fawks, that's my wedding gift.' Jack told the demon, 'From Nemo.'

'You gave him a beat up chula ship?'

'Yeah, that's what I was talking to the TARDIS about.' Fawks' eyes widened.

'But that was last night.' She paused in realisation, 'you gave it to him last…' her demon mind quickly worked out what she'd mistakenly walked in on and blushed slightly. She dug her hand in her pocket and mumbled, 'You left these.' She dropped the item on the table and sulked out of the room. Winter picked up the dog tags Fawks had given her and her breath caught. She looked over to Jack and he nodded to the door.

'Go.' She squeezed his hand gratefully and ran out of the room, catching Fawks only a corridor away.

'Stop.' She ordered grabbing Fawks' arm and pulling her around. 'Stop it. You're making a scene out of nothing.' Fawks wouldn't meet her eyes.

'It's not nothing, you broke it off and you didn't even tell me.'

'What so you could gloat?'

'I would never!'

'Not to me, but to Jack sure.' Winter told her. 'I'm sorry we didn't correct you but we didn't lie to you either. I've spent every night and day since you got back at your side but I woke up and I couldn't stop thinking about what he said to you. "as if you'd ever be some other woman" and I realised I'd made the biggest mistake of my life because I was tired, angry and frightened of losing anyone else. So yeah, we got back together, yes I left you in bed and snuck off to talk to Jack and yes talking turned into sex just like it normally does with you.' Fawks smiled slightly and shuffled her feet and Winter pushed her face up so they were looking at each other, 'But don't you EVER accuse me of flinging these away like some cheep keepsake.' Winter brandished the dogtags angrily, 'Because these meant everything to me, they must have fallen out of my coat pocket because I took them off after you got back because I thought if you saw them you might ask for them back. But to be fair I think they suit you more anyway.' She slipped them over Fawks' head.

'Win…I'

'I know, you're just being you. But remember this, I love you and I love Jack, every time you come around I damn near ignore that man so you better be a bit nicer towards him because he puts up with a lot of rubbish from you to make me happy. Now,' she pecked Fawks on the cheek, 'Go off and raid the second kitchen because I know you're still hungry.' She smiled and turned back towards the kitchen, Fawks watched her go her mouth slightly open, totally confused between her desire to sulk and the bubbly happy feeling in her stomach. She turned towards the second kitchen and shrugged, heading off to make herself another breakfast.

I'd love to be able to tell you when the next update will be but what with a trip to Scotland this weekend and a uni essay due in soon after I really don't know. But I will say that I'll work as hard as I can on it because I love writeing this and I love getting your reviews so 'fingers crossed'