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Chapter Ten
Journey To Ethie and Sybie
Another whole week went by and Esmerelda was falling further down into her own little world. One day Sebastian walked in and put a bowl of soup on her desk. She didn't so much as glance at him or the soup and stayed lying in he bed long after he left, crying to herself.
Esmerelda was unsure. Was it possible to have withdrawal symptoms from a person because she seriously thought she was experiencing this with her sisters, more so Ethel because she had not got a chance to see her on her last visit. Being locked up in her room had made her crazy and rebellious so she walked over to her window and opened it before throwing tied up bedsheets out of it. She started to climb down slowly and felt her feet hit the ground. Yes she was free, she needed to see Ethel now. She quickly ran out of the mansion grounds before she was caught.
She ran off, feeling a little strange as she had not moved properly in weeks as she had been locked up like a prisoner and only had her bedroom to walk around, but she ignored it and ran, heading towards Cackles. She had a little while before someone noticed she was gone and went to find her.
After running for a long while she touched her head feeling light-headed, it probably wasn't wise to run when she had an empty stomach so she slowed down to a walk instead.
If only she had some money she could have gotten a bus but she was out here penniless and she didn't think a driver would let her on without paying so she carried on walking slowly, taking her time but not being to slow anywise she would never make it before it got dark.
It was a long walk to Cackles. It hadn't been so bad last time because she had food in her stomach but her body was weak now and she was struggling. She decided to have a rest before carrying on and took a different route through a non-magical park.
Thankfully for her, one of the benches was empty so she sat down trying to get her breath back and feel better. She felt light-headed, dizzy and quite sick but she had to carry on. She had to see her beloved sisters before she ended up doing something stupid. She knew feeling her sisters in her arms as she hugged them would temporarily take away her pain, one she could get relief from without injuring herself.
Just as she was about to stand up and thought she could manage the rest of the journey out of nowhere it started to rain. She had never minded living in southern England before really, being British you grew up with this strange weather and didn't mind the rain anymore but today rain was not what she needed. She didn't need a cold now of all things.
"Stupid rain!" Esmerelda shouted to the sky wondering why their weather had to be so unpredictable. Ethel was more predictable than bloody English weather that was forty degrees one second and thunder and lightening the next minute.
One good thing came out of the rain though. The rain meant she stood up, wanting to complete her journey quicker. She had a hood but it didn't stop her getting drenched as she walked, not risking running again.
As she walked then that was the first moment she started to panic. She had been so excited and desperate to see Ethel and Sybil she had not stopped to think beforehand. When they saw her in the state she was currently in they would be heartbroken. It was getting quite clear she was starving herself and some of the scars on her arms had not healed right yet. She could try to lie to them but she couldn't lie for anything, they would find out the truth, and find out exactly what she had been doing to herself whilst they were at Cackles.
She didn't care though. Maybe she wanted them to know, maybe she knew by now she needed help, that is why she was walking for hours in the rain to go and see her sisters, to tell them she was struggling. She wasn't normally someone to admit defeat but despite what some people thought she had feelings and only in front of her sisters could she let her mask fall, they didn't expect her to be emotionless like her parents.
She knew her parents would be angry when they found out what she had been doing. Why did they never understand their children? It infuriated her. The problem with Triton and Ursula Hallow was they thought fancy clothes and toys was what a child craved and needed but that was not right at all, all children wanted was love and for their parents to spend time with them, children didn't care if they lived in a one bedroom flat or a twelve story mansion, as long as they were loved it didn't matter to them, and what was the result of their rubbish parenting? Three daughters, all messed up, all with problems and one not even in her teen years yet.
Esmerelda unable to interact properly with other people or show her true emotions or feelings, struggled to make friends as she didn't know how to talk to people, has for most of her life had to mother her sisters. She didn't mind one bit, she loved looking after Ethel and Sybil but cooking for them and making sure they had warm water for baths and clean clothes was not a job which should have laid on a young child. If Esmerelda didn't exist she would hate to think what state her sisters would be in without her making sure they had everything they needed. The result was she was so attached to her sisters she couldn't be away firm them or she went mad, she could never quite be seen as a friend by otter people because she cared about nothing else in the world but Ethel and Sybil and now she had depression and was self harming and staring herself as she was kept away from the sisters she had raised herself.
Ethel was the one who showed obvious signs of being messed up because she was the one who lashed out at people and had a temper and bullied people and played nasty tricks. Ethel never felt important or worthy of anything and hated herself deep down. She loved her sisters to death but she didn't know how to express love so pushed them away instead, she trusted no-one and was waiting for them to let her down. She was a product of what she had being made from the adults rejection and comparisons between herself and Esmerelda. The unloved middle child no-one cared about.
Sybil was the hardest to tell there was a problem with. Much happier and fun than her sisters it was hard to tell she had anything wrong but when you start to look further into it you realise her fear of the whole world is not normal. The girl has been traumatised from past events in her life and now she fears everything. She fears other people, never knowing what to expect from them and has no confidence in herself or her abilities to succeed. She is waiting for the next back thing to happen.
Yes all three girls had problems and that was down to the treatment they had when growing up. Never properly loved, played games with, let down and rejected, compared to one another and never allowed to flourish in a safe environment. Mr and Mrs Hallow had messed up and now the results were revealing themselves.
If Esmerelda was grateful for one thing in this it was the fact her sisters and her were so close. She always suspected they would be so close but maybe not as much if they had proper parenting. Esmerelda had always wanted sisters, she adored Ethel from the moment she born and then adored Sybil just as much when she was born the year after but whether that would have changed as they got older is anyone's guess.
Esmie tried to clear her mind as she walked, hugging her chest to try and stop herself getting to drenched. The rain came down harder and she rushed faster not wanting to arrive to see her sisters a sodden mess.
No-one was around her, the park was empty. People had fled when it rained clearly so she walked slowly, the only one in the place. She smiled though. This park was quite far from her home, in fact walking it normally was one hour so that meant she was getting closer to the northern line and would soon be nearer Cackles. Nearer to her precious sisters.
As she walked past a couple who were fleeing from the rain, she overheard them talking as they ran and knew indeed she was in the northern area now. The accents had changed which meant she was much closer to Ethel and Sybil.
She walked for another ten minutes before she started to feel funny again, That dizziness was not going away, in fact it was increasing. She tried to ignore it, needing to see her sisters more than anything. She could feel sick later but not now.
The rain was not helping though. She could feel herself become more soaked through and with that her sick feeling increased. She knew her hunger was making her body so weak, and she had been walking for almost two hours with nothing in her stomach. It was any wonder she was still going.
Her vision started to blur than and she knew her body was to tired to carry on, if she wasn't careful she would collapse but she couldn't let that happen, she had to get to Ethel and Sybil even if she died trying. She cried slowly to herself missing them more as she thought about them.
She missed her sisters so much it hurt her. She missed Ethel being bossy and Sybil being clingy and the lack of privacy she had because her sisters walked in and out of her room whenever they felt like it and the way it was never quiet, you could always hear one of them talking or both of them arguing. She loved them so much and in a few minutes she would get to cuddle them again and this time she was not going to leave without seeing Ethel, it would kill her to do that.
"YES" Esmerelda shouted as she saw she was now at the rocky entrance to the castle. Once she was up there she would be at the school. She started to climb only realising it was a bad idea after a few steps. She was so light headed she didn't know if she could make it all the way up the rocked cliff, she took another step before she fell, falling as her body lost the last of it's energy. She heard someone scream as she fell but she didn't have time to tell who they were as the world turned dark as finally she fainted.