A/N: Well first of thank you everyone who has read my story it means the world to me. I love all my reviews! You guys are awesome.

I'm extremely sorry for taking forever…

I hope you guys enjoyed the little extra I sent.

Disclaimer: Everything twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer etc etc…

Chapter 9

Hallucinations

Bella's POV

I knew I had lost my mind. I had kissed him, really kissed him. My mind kept drifting off into that kiss and as I sat here leaning against my Jake in complete silence I couldn't help wanting to kiss him again. I couldn't make sense of my head. I still wanted to know who this Anna person was. I looked up at Jake this time resolved to ask him about her but the look in his eyes stopped me. He had stopped driving and was looking at me as if trying to make sense of me. Good luck with that, I thought. I couldn't even make sense of myself. I realized time was passing by and I had to say something, do something. I was just staring right back at him like an idiot. As if on cue my heart began beating fast for the millionth time today.

"Bella," he said with a chuckle. "What are you thinking about?" The smile on his lips had my heart doing flip flops all over. I still couldn't speak. I had no idea what to say to him. "Honey?" he tried again this time sounding concerned. "Don't have a heart attack on me." His hands grabbed me by the shoulders as if to shake me back into reality.

"Sorry," I finally managed as I looked away and focused on my hands on my lap.

"What for?" he questioned as he gently reached for my chin and pulled me to look at him causing shivers to run down my body at the contact. I was beginning to realize that looking at his eyes always rendered me speechless. "You better not be apologizing for that kiss cuz there's no way I'll forgive you." His teasing smile only added to my mute spell but brought a smile to my lips. "I love your smile" he said huskily while moving his thumb slowly against my lips. My breathing hitched and my eyes closed at the sensation. Any hope for thinking was now gone. I was all feeling and instinct. I opened my eyes to look back at him. His eyes were focused on my lips. I knew what he wanted from me and it was the same thing I wanted from him. I nervously bit my bottom lip. "So why did you really want to leave?" he asked bringing back the image of that certain person he was giving my hugs and smiles to.

"I don't know" I lied to him.

"Bella, tell me. I can't read your mind honey" his attempt at convincing me did worse. That simple little phrase was enough to bring me to reality and remind me of how broken I was. I was suddenly feeling guilty like I had betrayed Edward. Maybe I wasn't in love with him how I used to be, I'll admit to that, but still what I had with Edward was stronger than anything I had ever felt before. I couldn't just get over it. I did want Jacob but I wasn't willing to let go of Edward just yet.

"Jake, I don't know." I lied again. "My head is a mess right now," true. "I don't know what's wrong with me," true. "I think you should leave," lie.

"You're still a bad liar." He sighed. "Why can't you just admit to yourself what you show to me daily?" He opened the truck door and began get out.

"Jake, wait…" I put my hand on his shoulder. He stopped but didn't turn to look at me. Kneeling by his side on the seat I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled my body against him. He sighed and turned around pulling me to him. "I'm sorry for ki…" He's lips where suddenly on mine shutting me up.

"I said you better not apologize for that." He said harshly. "You did it now you deal with it, and think about it, and let it drive you crazy cuz you know very well you wanted it and still want it right now." With that he ran off.

"Jake!" I called after him but he was most likely already too far to hear me. "I'm sorry for kicking you out…" I muttered before I began laughing. For a werewolf he could be really slow sometimes. I sat in my truck debating whether I should phone him and get him to come back or take the time to get my head together. I decided it was in both of our best interests that I get my thoughts in order. I looked down on myself and decided I couldn't think while wearing this stupid dress. I took my keys and walked into my house. Once inside I took it off immediately. I went over everything that happened as I made my way to my room. When I opened the door a flash shot through my room and disappeared. My heart began to thudding in my chest and I took a few steps back into the hallway. Something was very wrong. I had to call Jake. I reached for my bag to get my cell phone but realized I had left it in the truck. Why couldn't things just be normal for once? I thought exasperated. After a few seconds I walked into my room put on some random clothes. I ran downstairs in search for the house phone to call Jake. He answered on the first ring.

"Bella?" God I love his voice.

"Jake something's wrong here." I said hearing the shake in my own voice. I hadn't been aware how freaked out I truly was.

"I'm on my way" He said quickly.

"Wait. Where are you going? I'll go with you Jakey." a female voice chimed in. I was sure who that was and I hated that she was the one he was with right now.

"No. I gotta go." He said to her. "Bells what…"

"It's probably nothing" I interrupted him. "I'm just freaking out. I think I saw something. Maybe it was just my imagination. Omgosh Jake I'm going crazy. Just forget it everything's fine. I'll be okay. You have fun whatever you're doing ok bye." I hanged up before I changed my mind and begged him to come.

Why was this jealousy thing happening to me? I wondered as I dropped onto the floor in the middle of the living room. Maybe Jake should just give up on me and leave me. He would be better off without me to worry about. Tears began to fall at the thought of him leaving me too. This Anna girl will get his attention and he will forget all about me soon. I thought making myself cry even harder. I was too busy crying my heart out I never heard the door open.

"Bella?" his voice was the most beautiful thing I had ever heard. My heart though, instead of rejoicing like imagine it would, it hurt. I refused to meet his eyes. He would just disappear like he did in my hallucinations. That's what he was right now, a hallucination, I convinced myself, a very loud hallucination. He could never be real. I thought to myself. "Love?" it tried again. It was an it, I couldn't call it a he because it was a hallucination. "Love, I'm so…" I put my hands on my ears because my hallucination kept talking to me. I just wanted Jacob to pull me back to reality before I truly went insane. I began rocking back and forth with my hands on my ears and my eyes shut tightly. If I don't hear it nor see it, then it's not real, I reasoned. Then cold hands, arms, swept me up and carried me. I shivered involuntarily. Hallucinations don't have temperatures and can't touch much less carry. I wondered confused but still refused to look. I was set down on a bed. I opened my eyes to look down at the bed I had been with Jacob this morning. I wanted Jake, sunny, happy Jacob. He was with Anna though. I began crying again. My hallucination had finally shut up.

"Bella?" Charlie's voice shot up the stairs bringing me back to reality. I looked around and was glad the hallucination was gone. I panicked and ran for my door to lock it. I didn't want Charlie to see me this way he would freak out. "Are you okay? The front door was opened" he called from my closed door.

"Yeah I'm fine. I guess I forgot to close it."

"Why did you leave the bond fire early?"

"I wasn't feeling too well." I responded quickly.

"Oh… okay," he said. Then I heard his footsteps as he walked back down the stairs. I turned to walk back to my bed and ran straight into Jake. I would know his body anywhere.

"Damn Bells, you don't look so good" He said while holding me from the shoulders and studying me.

"Aww gee thanks, you sure know how to make a girl feel better." I shrugged off his hands.

"Bells. You know what I mean." He rolled his eyes then took me into his arms. "You're freezing honey. What happened?" he asked his voice full of concerned.

"Nothing, I just had a Bella moment" I answered not willing to explain my little hallucination episode.

"What's a Bella moment?" He chuckled.

"Ugh nothing, I just want to go to sleep. Go home Jake"

"Honey what happened? Don't lie to me. You and your room reek of bloodsucker. Which one was here?" he asked.

"Bloodsucker," I repeated as if the word was completely foreign to me. "Hallucinations don't smell" I said without even thinking.

"Hallucinations?" He looked at me truly worried, "What are you talking about?"

If hallucination, talks, touches, and smells… then… it's not a hallucination. I gasp at the little revelation and looked up at Jakes eyes in shock. "Jake." My voice shook. "it's not an it, it's a he."

"I'm sorry honey but what?"

"He couldn't had been here, he wasn't real." I was still trying to reason with myself.

"Honey" he shook me a little. "You're not making any sense."

"Edward was really here?" I asked him

"You didn't see him?"

"I, I, I…. I closed my eyes" I answered.

"You closed your eyes so you wouldn't see him." He said a bit amused.

"I thought I was going crazy."

"Bella, honey, you're not crazy." he pulled me into his arms and held me tightly. "It's okay honey, everything's ok." He carried me to my bed and climbed in with me still in his arms. "Get some sleep. You have school tomorrow, spring break is over."

"Jake how many times have you run back and forth to my house today?" I asked. He laughed before answering.

"I'm used to it by now Bells, don't worry about that."

"We still need to talk about everything." I told him

"Of course we do, but now we should both get some much needed sleep"

"Night, Jakey" I said mocking Anna's little nickname for him.

"ugh not you too" he made a face. "Seriously I hate that" he said making me laugh. "Night, honey." He finally said and pulled me impossibly closer to him.

Edward's POV

I was mentally kicking myself for giving in. I shouldn't have tried to talk to her. My initial plan was to just make sure she was okay. At least that's what I kept telling myself. I saw her getting of her truck by herself and I couldn't help myself. I climbed through her window like used to and waited for her to come up. When she finally showed up she was practically naked. I had to run. It was too much for me, for my control. I had been away from her for too long and seeing her was just… Wow.

I didn't mean to scare her but I did just that. I watched through a tree and saw how she stood there practically paralyzed. Once panic actually set in she began looking for something then quickly dressed herself and ran down the stairs. I was still refuge in the tree while hating myself when I heard her voice. I realized she was calling the dog. Of course she would call the dog. As if a magnet her voice pulled me in and I found myself at her door. She was truly frightened. It was evident in her voice. Suddenly she backtracked and basically told him not to come. There was something in her voice I had never heard before. I could tell she was at the brink of tears when I heard a thud. Thinking she could've hurt herself somehow, at least that's what I kept telling myself, I barged into her house. She was in the middle of the room crying her little heart out. My need to read her mind was killing me. Unable to stop myself I called to her.

"Bella?" Her heart stopped beating. It actually stopped beating before taking off like crazy. Then the tiniest voice yelled at me in my head. Just one word but I knew it was her, her mind.

Hallucination.

I was stuck between confusion and joy at finally hearing her. She wouldn't look at me though and I needed her to see me. I couldn't help myself and called to her again.

"Love?" There was nothing but silence from her. She seemed so lost. "Love, I'm so sorry…" I trailed off as I noticed her covering her ears and rocking back and forth as she closed her eyes tightly. She looked truly crazy and I knew it was entirely my fault. I had broken her this way. I had caused this. I heard Charlie's cruiser coming down the street and carried Bella up to her room knowing she would hate to be found like this by him. As I held her in my arms I had the urge to run away taking her with me forever. Instead I put her down on her bed and attempted to wait till the last possible moment.

"Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake…" She began to say over and over until I couldn't stand it much longer. Seeing firsthand the pain I had caused her and seeing her calling to another man was hell. I jumped out the window to escape the torture. I heard her begin to cry and I ran faster.

End Notes:

Poor Bella she's truly losing her mind.

But Edward needs to see how bad he hurt her.

Well like always I want to hear your thoughts so please pretty please REVIEW! =D

I'll hurry up with updates now that I have a break from school =D

Always yours

Nohemy3