CHAPTER SIX – Secret Revealed Again

In the late morning, there was a knock on the door. Felipe jumped up and answered the door. It was Padre Benites. Diego was situated on the couch with his leg stretched out and propped up about twelve inches on a stack of pillows. He had been reading the new novel in English by Sir Walter Scott, Ivanhoe, recommended to him by Benites, but was now dozing, the book in his lap. He enjoyed reading Ivanhoe, and could readily identify with the hero – since both had problems with their fathers. Both fathers disapproved of their sons' activities, and Diego could hardly wait to see what happened to the 12th century young knight.

As Felipe opened the door, the padre said, "Hello, Felipe! How are you today? I suppose you can guess the purpose of my visit. I am here to see Don Diego, if possible."

Felipe signed "Library" and pointed in that direction. As Benites rounded the corner, he spotted Diego on the couch – the book he was reading lay in his lap. His head was cocked to one side, the upright back side of the couch.

Benites noticed the book with a smile, then turned to Felipe and whispered, "Is it all right if I wake him?" Felipe nodded and pulled up a chair for the padre to sit, then gently shook Diego.

"Oh Felipe, what time is it? I must have dozed off," Diego asked as he began to move around and wipe his eyes. He started to stretch and found a crick in his neck to rub. As Felipe was standing in front of Diego, his view of Father Benites was blocked.

"How are you, my son?" Diego was startled a bit at hearing the padre's voice. Felipe signed "Padre Benites" then left.

"Oh – Hello, Father Benites. It's good to see you." Diego smiled his warmest smile.

Benites answered, "It's good to see you, too, Diego. How are you feeling today?"

"As long as I don't move it, it's not too bad," was the answer. "Felipe is working on a set of crutches for me so I can move around."

"That will be very helpful, very helpful indeed. I see you took my suggestion and are reading Ivanhoe."

"Yes, thank you Padre. It's slow going, but you're right. Wilfred of Ivanhoe and I do have a lot in common." Diego took the book from his lap and put it on the end table near him.

The padre leaned forward in his chair. "Diego, I was speaking with both Doctor Hernandez and Victoria yesterday. They are concerned about you…how you're taking all this." Benites' expression exuded the warmth and caring everyone came to expect from him.

"How I'm taking all this? What do you mean?" Diego was somewhat irritated. He knew what the padre meant, but he was stalling, and hoping to deflect. He wasn't sure he was ready to talk about his anger towards himself. He squirmed on the couch and grimaced when his leg inadvertently moved.

"Yes, my son…how are you accepting what happened?" Benites waited for an answer, but it never came. Diego looked at the floor.

"Do you mind if I tell you what I think? You seem agitated, somewhat irritable. Do you blame yourself for your injury?" Benites leaned forward and put a hand on Diego's arm for a moment, then withdrew it.

"Blame myself? Of course I blame myself!" Diego clenched his fist. It took all his self-control not to sock himself in the leg to cause himself more pain. His anger was that deep.

Benites was somewhat taken aback by the ferocity of the response. He had expected some self-derision, but the degree to Diego's anger surprised him.

"Why? It was an accident, wasn't it? You didn't get hurt on purpose, did you? I can't imagine that. What you did was heroic! How can you be upset about that? What is really bothering you, Diego? You know it will go no further."

Diego sighed and looked down. "Well Padre, I just feel like…it's kind of hard to explain. It's just that Zorro is graceful, and I seem so clumsy. It's as if, because he wears black and carries a whip and sword, that he can do so much more…while I – armed only with a broom – get a broken leg! It just doesn't seem fair! It seems like…"

Father Benites interrupted. "It seems like you're comparing yourself to Zorro. Why is that, Diego? Why do you do that?" Benites sat back in his chair and studied Diego's expressions and responses.

Diego continued to look down a moment longer, then looked up and directly into Benites' eyes. "I know. I probably shouldn't. But my Father and Senorita Escalante have compared me to Zorro for years. I guess it's hard not to. Father Benites, even though I know you hold things in strict confidence, there are some things I cannot talk about. I can only say that it seems that whenever Don Diego gets into trouble, it seems worse than when Zorro gets into trouble."

"Really? Tell me some instances – of both you and Zorro. Tell me what you mean," the stocky padre's voice was soothing and kind, but questioning.

"I can address what I'm talking about only in regards to myself, Father. When I tried to rescue Felipe and Victoria, uh, Senorita Escalante, from pirates a couple years ago, I got taken prisoner. When I tried going to Devil's Fortress to help Victoria's father, I got… uh…oh…never mind." The voice inside him said again – watch what you say. He was thinking about that knockout blow again and why it was given him. "I also got into trouble when I visited France a few years ago. It just seems like whenever I try to do something…oh I don't know...and now this happened!" Diego growled in frustration. He didn't know what else he could say without revealing more than he should.

Benites asked, "And Zorro? I'm sure he has been seriously hurt more than once."

"He's probably had a few things…But I don't know any specifics." Watch what you say… Diego tried to think what things were public knowledge. He couldn't think of anything he would know about if he weren't Zorro. The public didn't know he was injured in Cayon Perdido. They thought he was dead, but he turned up very much alive, and they were none the wiser. The public didn't know he was hypnotized by that Dr. Lorenzo Lozano. The public didn't know he'd been stabbed in the leg with De Soto's sword – only De Soto and his lancers know that. The public 'heard' that Zorro "was a dead man" when Palomarez poisoned him – but none knew what that meant. They never saw Zorro ill at that time, only Diego, if they'd been watching closely – but no one knew, except Felipe, what had really happened.

Benites was quiet a moment as he listened to Diego. He knew there was anguish in Diego's soul or there wouldn't be so much frustration and anger.

"Diego, are you envious of Zorro's accomplishments? It would be only natural."

Diego thought a moment before responding. "I don't know. Maybe I am a little."

Benites leaned forward again in the chair. "Diego, I'm not going to give you a homily, but I want you to listen to me…really listen to me. Can you do that?" Benites looked Diego straight in the eye.

Diego returned the gaze a moment, then looked down again. Another moment of silence passed, as Diego thought about it. "I'll try," came the response.

"Good. It is never to your benefit to compare yourself to Zorro – or to anyone else, for that matter. The fact that others have done so has not helped you. I think I can understand why they do it, but it is not helpful. I believe they wanted to change the way you are…uh, the way you presented yourself. But you cannot compare yourself to yourself – as if you were two different people, when in fact, you are one."

"But, but, but….I – I …" Diego tried to get a word in, but the padre kept on talking. His eyes opened wide and he looked around furtively, then thought he'd physically try to shut the padre up. He threw his hand out, but it wasn't far enough. As he reached, his leg moved, and he groaned when he tried to move his leg.

Benites kept talking. "I am sworn to silence, but you need to make peace with yourself in order to move forward. And I know some serious things have happened to Zorro – even more than have 'happened' to you, Diego. I am an observer of life and people. I see things many others do not."

Diego's eyes nearly popped out of their sockets when Benites told him he knew the secret. He gulped and was clearly in a state of shock. He looked like the cat that ate the canary and got caught red-handed at it.

"How long have you known?" Diego tried to keep his panic out of his voice.

"Oh, I can't say for certain. Things just kind of came together in my mind. As you know, I met 'Zorro' before I met you, Diego – and even though you did your best to show me you were two different people…well, I have been trained to listen and to observe. I also have a sort of gift that shows me people's hearts. One day when I was praying for you, Zorro came to mind. Another time when I was praying for Zorro, you came to mind. I had a mental picture of you with a great burden, and yet it was hidden under a black cloak. So, I listened to what I believed the Lord was saying to me."

"And what is He saying now, Padre?"

"My son, whether you do a good deed as Diego or Zorro, the Father sees, and He is behind your fight for justice, because He Himself is a God of Justice…tempered with mercy. If you were truly the Diego you pretend to be, you would virtually never get hurt, because you would never take that chance. But since you are Zorro – you can't help it. When help is needed, you're going to step in. It's your nature, and it's how God made you, Diego." Benites looked beyond Diego's eyes, into his heart. "But tell me, what are you thinking and feeling now?"

Diego was listening. His eyes were somewhat glazed from staring at the floor. In his mind's eye, all sorts of things came to mind, until they settled on a pleasant older 'man' in a white suit with blue trim, and red boots. He was quiet a moment, as if still in deep thought, wondering if he should share what he was thinking. "Father, I believe God does approve of what I'm doing. Did I ever tell you I believe an angel visited me a couple of years ago?" Diego unconsciously rubbed his leg, more out of nervousness than pain.

Now it was Benites' turn for wide eyes. "No, you didn't. What happened?"

"It's a long story, but a man, well, he looked like a man, but he could come and go at will – named Don Fernando – came to give me encouragement and strength to go on when I was thinking of quitting."

"You never told me that before."

"I've never told anyone – not even Felipe. It was all very strange and surreal. Was Don Fernando an angel? He knew everything about me and caused certain 'events' to occur…but maybe it was a vision. It was very real, though."

"I cannot judge that, Diego, but it certainly sounds like he was. Angels from God always bring messages of hope, and he certainly brought that. Angels from God will always tell you things that don't exist as though they do, rather than things that are already known or exist as if they don't – as if they were not known."

"Oh! I think I know what you mean. When Myatana and Ricardo Quintana were here… she told things that were known, as if they were not known – they were being fed information from the Alcalde. They invented or created what they said based on information already known…whereas a real angel, an angel from God, would say something only God knew. I know I was certainly unnerved when Don Fernando just blurted out to my face he knew I was Zorro – because that's not a widely known fact."

"The Quintanas were actually pulling a 'confidence game' – I believe is what they call it. But there are people with gifts similar to mine – only they don't rely on God for their information. They receive 'real' messages, but not from a good spirit – they are true mediums, such as the medium of En Dor in the Bible, I Samuel 28, whom King Saul contacted in an attempt to save his kingdom. In this case, God wanted to show Saul he had again done the wrong thing and this time, he would pay for it with his life. But most of the time, the information they receive is already known – yet is told as if it was not known. An example would be if someone told you that you had a shipboard journey in your future, when you had already purchased a berth at San Pedro – as if the trip hadn't been planned yet."

Diego was silent. He could think of nothing to say. Spiritual matters were a bit out of his educational sphere. Things were rolling around in his head, and he was trying to make sense out of what Benites said.

"Diego…I must go now, but I want to say one more thing, if that's all right with you." Benites leaned forward in his chair.

"Certainly, Padre."

"Diego, I understand that you must keep up appearances in this masquerade of yours. Just make sure you're that you don't self-deprecate to the point where you actually believe what you're saying about yourself, all right?"

"All right, I'll try."

"May I pray God's blessings on you, my son?"

"Certainly, Padre. I always feel more peaceful after you pray."

Benites rose and placed one hand on Diego's bowed head, the other on Diego's broken leg. "Father in heaven, I ask You to heal Diego's leg quickly, and give him the help he needs to reconcile within himself – who he is and who You have created him to be. Give him wisdom and strength as he moves through this trying time and may his sense of humor give him perspective. En nomini patri, et filli, et spiritus sanctu." Benites crossed Diego, then himself.

Diego felt peace come. It's going to be all right, he thought. I'll get through this and be better than ever. He looked up and smiled, and shook Benites' hand before the kindly padre left.

And yet…he thought… another person now knows my secret. When will this end? Does everyone know but they're not telling me? Well, at least the Alcalde doesn't know. If he did, I wouldn't be free. But I don't know if I can keep up this charade much longer. Father and Victoria don't seem to know. If they did, I don't think they would make such scathing remarks to me, comparing me to Zorro constantly. Those remarks hurt, and Diego felt trapped in this masquerade and didn't know how to free himself.

TBC

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