I wake this morning still not feeling any better from yesterday. After Ashley left, I tried calling and texting her, but I never received a response. I knew that I should have never gone along with that stupid plan, but of course I did anyway. She must be pissed at me for doing that to her. I sigh and begin to get ready for school.
On my way to school, I think about what will happen when I see Ashley. She will probably see me then run in the opposite direction. Or better yet, she will yell at me then walk away, I won't blame her for whatever she does. I would like it if she would talk to me, but that is just wishful thinking.
When I get to school, I notice a few cars in the parking lot and none of them looks like Aiden's car. I get out of the car and head straight to my normal table. As soon as I sit down, I take out my phone so I could listen to some music, and to see if I had an IM from LAbabe4u, which I don't. She's been offline since the last time I spoke to her which is weird because we usually talk at night. I can already tell that this is not going to be my day. I let out a breath and put my head down in my arms.
I feel a tap on my shoulder and I lift my head up to see Kendra standing in front of me. I take my headphones out and smile at her.
"Hey" I say.
She takes a seat "hey, are you ok?" I guess my bad mood shows.
"I've been better, you?"
"I'm fine. But what's wrong? Is it that Jessica bitch again?" She asks balling her fists up.
"No I haven't even seen her yet. And I will be fine, I think, so no worries." I smile. I decide not to tell her about the whole Ashley situation because she will more than likely get mad at me for using her and I really don't need anyone else not talking to me.
I can tell by the look on her face that she doesn't believe me, but she doesn't question it which I am grateful for.
"Hey Spence, how are you?" I turn around to see Chelsea and Carmen standing behind me holding hands.
"I'm alright Chels. No change from yesterday." I run my hand through my hair and Chelsea gives me a sympathetic look. "HI, Carmen."
"Hey Spencer, Chels told me about the skank that bruised you up yesterday at practice. What's her name? And before you say anything, I just want to have a little talk with her." She gives me a smile, yea definitely not falling for that one.
"Oh you mean Jes-" Kendra starts before I cut her off.
"So this is Kendra, Kendra this is Chelsea and Carmen." I introduce them. Kendra gives me a confused look and the other two look at her with a smirk on their faces. I quickly turn to Kendra again. "Do not tell them anything. They don't know who did that to me for a reason." I tell her.
"Say that I did happen to tell them, what would be the consequences?" She crosses her arms and smirks at me. Someone is being flirty today and it's kind of hot.
"Try it and you'll see." I say mirroring her actions. She raised an eyebrow at me and I did the same.
"Jes…ouch!" I pinched her before she could finish. She looked over at me. "What the hell was that?"
"It's called a pinch." I smirk at her.
"I know that Smartass. Why did you do it?"
"I told you not to say anything."
"And I was supposed to be afraid." She laughed. I know I don't look that intimidating but damn. I pout and she stops laughing. "Aww don't be upset, I'm sure you are really tough when you want to be." And she laughs again which makes me pout more. "That's cute." Kendra says and I blush.
"Anyway back to point, don't tell them." I gave her my most intimidating look and she tried to her hardest not to laugh.
"It was Jessica Parker." She says with a smile. I give her the 'what the fuck' look and she just shrugs. "What I know that you won't talk to me if I do anything and I will probably get kicked off the team, but they won't so someone has to do something about it."
"Thank you Kendra, we owe you one." Chelsea says and drags Carmen away. Just great.
"They aren't going to kill her or anything right?" She asks me seriously.
"I don't know what they are going to do, but I don't think that they will go that far."
The bell rang soon after and I headed to first period, hoping that I would see Ashley. When I got there she was already sitting in her seat surrounded by other people. She didn't look my way once, and it hurt. I sulked to a seat in the back and waited for the teacher to begin teaching.
A few minutes into class, I felt a pair of eyes on me. You know that feeling you get when you know someone is looking at you? Yea well I have one of those right now. I look up and my eyes find Ashley's across the room. She doesn't seem angry or hurt; she's just staring with a blank look. And this confuses me, I mean shouldn't she be angry after she found out about the games I played with her? I would be mad. If she's not mad, then why didn't she return my calls or texts? Why did she leave so suddenly?
I turn away from her and look at the teacher. I need to talk to her. After class she practically ran out of the room which didn't give me a chance to talk to her. The rest of my classes went by in a blur. When fourth period came around, the same thing happened again. She sat across the room and looked at me at random times during the class period. And again after this class she ran out of the room like it was on fire.
I made my way to the lunch table but Chelsea and Carmen were not there as they normally would be. They are probably just running late or something. I shrug and take out my lunch to eat. Seconds later, I feel someone come sit next to me. I know it's not Ashley because I don't have the tingles go through my body as I normally would whenever she gets close to me. I look up and Kendra is sitting there like it's something normal for her.
"Are you stalking me now?" I joke.
"No but I thought I would be nice and give you company since you are sitting alone. But I see that I am not wanted here so I will just leave." She says and stands up again but I grab her arm and pull her down. "That's what I thought."
"Yea whatever, you are just lucky that I don't want to sit alone right now." I stick my tongue out at her and she laughs. She has a cute laugh that I never really noticed before.
"Where are the other two that you usually sit with?" She asks.
"I have no idea; they are usually here by now." I pause and think for a second. "Thanks to you they are probably doing who knows what to Jessica right now!"
She looks guilty for a second and then she smiles. "Well whatever happens to her, she deserves it."
"Hey girls" I hear Chelsea say as she and Carmen sit at the table.
"Where were you?" I question.
"Oh we had to finish an assignment for art that was due today." Carmen says, but for some reason I don't believe her.
"So any luck with Ashley?" Chelsea says and I shake my head. "She will come around, I mean what you did wasn't that bad."
"What happened with Ashley?" Kendra piped up and suddenly it was quiet. I couldn't hear anything, not the laughing, yelling, or talking, nothing. How do I explain this to her without her getting hurt in the process?
"Ok what happened between me and Ashley involves you. And before I start, I am really not this mean normally but I was trying to figure something out and you were the perfect person to do it with." I stopped and she looked at me signaling for me to continue. I took a deep breath and started again. "So I have this crush on Ashley, right?" She nodded. "And she's with Aiden, but she flirts with me whenever she is around me. So after I told Chelsea and Carmen this…" I paused and looked over at the previously mentioned couple. They both gave me encouraging smiles, so I continued. "They came up with a plan to make Ashley jealous."
Kendra was quiet for a minute. "Ohh so that's why you were so flirty with me yesterday?"
"Yes" I admitted shyly. She looked away and I felt bad that I have hurt yet another person. "I am really sorry that I did that. I should have never agreed to go along with it in the first place." She nodded. "For what it's worth, I think you are a great person and any girl would be lucky to have you." I smiled at her.
She turned back to me. "You really think so?"
"Yes of course."
"Thanks Spencer. And I get why you did what you did, but for future notice, please do not involve me in any of your plans."
"Deal" I said with a smile.
"Oh and one more thing, be careful with Ashley."
"Why what's wrong with her?" Chelsea asks.
"Nothing, just don't get to close." Kendra says with a sad look on her face. Chelsea gives me a look and I nod telling her that I'll be careful when it comes to Ashley.
"So for the party this Friday I…" Chelsea began but I zoned out.
Something, rather someone, caught my attention across the quad. She was sitting with the rest of the cheerleaders at their normal table. I miss her. That's bad because I haven't known her for that long. She is sitting there looking slightly out of it. I really wish she would talk to me. I want to apologize for being an asshole and hope that we can be friends again. She looks up and that's when I realize that I have been staring at her for a while. I blush and look down when she catches me.
After lunch, I go through my next classes in a blur. I don't really pay attention, my mind is on Ashley.
When I get to practice, I immediately change and stretch. Kendra soon comes in laughing hysterically and I look at her like she's on crack.
"What's so funny?" I ask while still stretching.
She is trying to control her laughter but she can't. "Have you seen Jessica yet?" She asks in between laughs.
"No, why? What's wrong with her?" She just laughs even harder.
Then I hear laughter coming from the side of the gym near the locker room. I turn around to see Jessica walking towards me. When she gets closer I try my hardest not to laugh. On her forehead written in sharpie was 'I 3 SC' and on her cheeks were "I'm Sorry." This is so embarrassing yet so funny. She was also sporting a swollen eye and a nice cut on her lip. I told them not to be so violent. I shake my head and she stops in front of me.
"I'm sorry for how I acted yesterday Spencer and it will never happen again." She says in a monotone voice.
"It's ok." I say trying my hardest not to laugh in her face.
"Alright ladies, we are running laps today so I hope you are ready." Coach Roberts yells when she enters the gym.
By the time practice was over, I was refreshed. I love being able to run and clear my head. After showering, Kendra and I walked out to the parking lot and she was being strangely quiet.
"Hey are you ok?" I ask her.
"Yea I'm good." I nod my head and suddenly she stops. "Can I ask you something Spencer?"
"Yea sure, anything."
"I… can I…would you" She pauses and I smile at her nervousness. She takes a deep breath. "Would you maybe want to go out with me sometime?"
Then I freeze. I have never had a girl ask me out before. What if I fuck it up? I also freeze because from the corner of my eye I see Ashley walking with Aiden holding hands.
"I would love to." I respond.
"Awesome, is tomorrow night good?" She asks. "I mean I would say Friday night but that's the night of the party. And I can't wait until Saturday, so I hope you like Wednesday dates." She smiles at me.
"I love them." I smile back. She comes forward and hugs me. Is it bad that I wish that she was Ashley? I mean I like her, but not as much as I like Ashley. But at least I actually have a chance with Kendra.
We pull back and I look over and see Ashley staring at us. She quickly looks back to Aiden and begins to nod.
"So I will see you tomorrow, later Spencer." Kendra says and walks away. I look over at Ashley again and she and Aiden are gone. I sigh and head to my car.
On my way home I called Chelsea and told her about my date the next day. She squealed and told me how happy she was for me. And I also told her about seeing Ashley, and she told me to let her come to me. If she wants to talk to me then she will when she's ready. I agreed and we said our goodbyes.
For the rest of the day, I stay in my room and write. I write about my feelings toward Ashley. I write about not being able to be who I want around my family. I just let my feelings free. I checked to see if LAbabe4u was online a few times, but she wasn't. After doing my homework, I called it an early night and went to sleep.
The next day I just head to school feeling neutral. I'm tired of feeling upset about what happened with Ashley. She won't give me a chance to explain so why should I try?
Seeing Kendra, Chelsea, and Carmen did cheer me up. I am happy that I still have them. Chelsea and Carmen smiled brightly whenever Kendra was around. And I tried not to think about Ashley ignoring me. She did the same thing in all of our classes, sat far away from me and rushed out when the bell rang.
Practice was fun; we ran drills and ran the track. Jessica stayed far away from me and didn't look my way once.
Kendra and I were headed to the parking lot again and I saw Ashley with some of her cheer friends this time. She looked our way, but then quickly turned away.
"So I will pick you up at 7, okay?" Kendra asks unsurely.
"Okay, I'll text you my address." I smile at her.
When I got home, I started on some homework. I was happy that my parents were working late because that meant that I didn't have to tell them that I was going out on a date tonight.
At around 6, I text Kendra my address and I start getting ready. I put on some jeans and black V-neck shirt. I leave my hair down and put some make-up on.
When Kendra came we left and headed towards a restaurant. The restaurant was nice and not too fancy. After dinner we went to the movie theater. While waiting in line, she reached over and grabbed my hand. I smiled shyly at her.
"Ohh lezzie has a girlfriend" I hear from behind us. I let go of her hand and turn around. A few girls from the cheerleading squad were laughing, all except Ashley.
"Does your brother know that you raging dyke Carlin?" I hear Madison say. The other girls laugh, and Ashley stays quiet.
"Did you remember to get tested this week Madison? Herpes is going around and I know one of the guys you've fucked probably has it. I mean can you even remember how many guys you've been with today?" Madison stays quiet. "That's what I thought. Keep your skanky ass away from us, we don't want to catch whatever STD you have this month." Kendra says. Afterwards she grabs my hand and we walk into ticket booth.
In the movie theater, she puts her arm around me and pulls me close. I smile and watch the movie.
After the movie she drives me home. When we pull up to my driveway, she turns off the car and turns to me.
"Besides those sluts at the movie theater, I had a really good time with you tonight." She blushes at her admittance. I smile and put my hand over hers.
"I had a really great time. Thanks for sticking up for me."
"No problem. I told you that I am here for you, and I meant that." She smiles at me. I rub my thumb over her hand. Then she leaned forward, and I followed her. Soon we were so close; I could feel her breath on me. I realized that this is the first time that I will ever kiss a girl and I get nervous. I swallowed my fears and leaned the rest of the way in.
Her lips were warm and soft. The kiss was nice, but I felt nothing. I mean I feel tingles just from being around Ashley, I wonder what it would be like to kiss her.
I pulled back and smiled at her. "Thanks for tonight. I'll see you tomorrow in school."
"Ok I'll see you then." She said with a grin.
I got out of the car and went to my front door. I turned around and waved goodbye, she waved back and drove off.
I went upstairs, took a shower, and went straight to bed. So many thoughts running around in my head like: why can't I feel the same way for Kendra as I feel for Ashley? Why won't Ashley let me explain? Is she that mad that she couldn't tell her tell her airheaded friends to stop or something? Is she going to the party on Friday? If so, will she even look my way?
Ugh, too many questions. The one thing I know for sure, being gay is hard.
A/N: I'm sorry it took a while for the update, but I finally put one up. I hope you are not disappointed with it. And before everyone gets angry, there will be Spashley soon. The party will be in the next chapter. I have no idea what will happen, any guesses?