Oh wow so many mixed reviews. I was not expecting that, but thanks for the reviews. And I am sorry that some of you seem to not like the last chapter, but like I said shit happens. I hope you like this chapter.
Right when I was outside of my class, I wiped all of my tears away. I feel stupid for even crying, for letting all of this get to me. I guess I am just so overwhelmed with everything and I am not quite sure how to handle it.
After taking a few deep breaths, I walk in the class and take my seat in the back. Then I just remembered that Ashley has this class as well. I guess we all can't avoid our problems.
I just put my head down and waited for the bell to ring. I didn't want to face her when she walked in.
Five minutes later, the bell rang and the teacher began to talk, but Ashley never came. I could tell without even lifting my head up. I know that sounds weird but every time Ashley gets close to me I get this feeling that runs through my body, and I didn't get one this time. I lift my head up and look around the classroom just to make sure that the feeling didn't go away and sure enough it didn't, she is not in class.
I wonder where she can be. I hope she didn't skip class because of me. I hope she is ok and nothing bad happened. I'll just wait for fourth period or lunch to see if she shows up.
When fourth period came around, Ashley was still not there. And I was really worried. Is she really going to skip her classes to avoid me?
Maybe it's not even about me, something could be seriously wrong with her.
After fourth period, I left my class and walked to the quad searching for Ashley as I walked. Unfortunately, I didn't see her anywhere.
When I got to my table, Carmen, Chelsea, and Kendra were already there.
"Hey Spencer" Kendra says with a smile as I sit down next to her.
Carmen and Chelsea give me some sort of greeting and turn back to each other. They are always off in their own little world. I turn to Kendra and I give her a smile and take out my lunch to begin eating. I chance a glance towards Ashley's table and she isn't there. I see Madison and the rest of the cheerleaders, but she isn't there. If Madison wasn't such a bitch, then I would go over there and ask her if she knew what happened with Ashley.
"Are you ok Spencer?" Kendra asks me and snaps my attention back to the table. Hearing this, Carmen and Chelsea both turn their attention to us. I love that they care so much about me.
"Yea I am fine. I'm just a little worried about Ashley." I tell them and I receive a bunch of confused looks. "We got into an argument this morning and I basically told her that I would stay away from her. I haven't seen her since then."
"Did she seem really upset about the fight?" Carmen asks.
"I don't know. She was mad during the fight but after she just went to talk to Madison." I tell them. "And Madison is right over there without Ashley." I point towards the table with all of the other cheerleaders. They turn their heads to look and turn back realizing that Ashley is not there.
"Maybe she went home. The fight might have really gotten to her." Chelsea says.
"What was the argument about anyway?" Kendra asks.
And suddenly I don't feel like talking anymore. If I tell her what the entire argument was about she will definitely hate me. I know I need to talk to her about everything soon because I know nothing will come of me and her being together. I just don't want to hurt her, but I know if I keep stringing her along I will hurt her more. Gosh everything that Ashley said is really getting to me.
"Uhh nothing important really." I smile at her.
She gives me a weird look and then smiles weakly back.
"Are you ready for practice today?" Kendra asks me.
"Yea I am really anxious to see if I will start at the game this Friday."
"Coach will be crazy if she doesn't start you. You are easily the best person on the team." I blush at her words.
"Thanks. I hope you are right. And if I start then I know that you will be too."
After lunch I went to class with Chelsea and she tried to get me to talk about the argument but I just told her that I would tell her later.
During basketball practice everyone seemed to try to outdo each other. I figured that if Coach was choosing who she wanted to start then she would have already chosen by now, so I just went along with the drills as normal.
Some of the veterans seem to think that they would be starting and that all of the newbies would be subs. I hope Coach proves them wrong so they can take those smug looks off their faces.
"Ok ladies gather round!" Coach yells at the end of practice. Everyone makes a circle around coach. "So I'm sure you all are anxious to know who will be playing tomorrow." Everyone yells. "Ok ok quiet down." She waits for us to get quiet before starting again. "For my starters I have Parker, Johnson, Sanchez, Wilson, and Carlin. Good job ladies, all of the hard work has paid off." Haha those smug smiles immediately vanished. Then I noticed people looking at me and oh shit, I'm starting. I'm actually starting!
I am completely stunned. I honestly didn't think that I would actually start.
"Spencer we did it!" Kendra says as she hugs me.
"I know this is freaking amazing!" I hug her back.
"For the next few practices, I will have my starters playing against my first subs. We need to be ready for the game this Friday. I have faith in us." She stops then looks around at the team. "I'll see you all tomorrow at practice."
We start heading to the showers and I am way to excited to stay here any longer. I just grab my bag full of clothes and leave.
"Hey wait up." I hear Kendra yell from behind me and I stop. "Where are you in a rush to?"
"I don't know, I just didn't want to stay there. I feel like doing something." I tell her with a big smile.
"Maybe…maybe we can go out tonight. You know celebrate, just the two of us?" She asks hesitantly and in a rush.
And now my mood is immediately ruined because I know that what I have to do will hurt her.
"Actually I've meaning to talk to you about that." I tell her and her smile is gone just as quickly. "I just don't want to hurt you, Kendra. You are a great friend and that's what I think we should be. . . just friends." I hold my breath waiting for her response. I hate that I have to do this but I know that it will be for the best in the long run.
"Oh" She looks away from me. "I mean I guess if you don't like me that way then it will be for the best."
"I'm really sorry, Kendra. I wish we could be together because you are an amazing girl. Any girl would be lucky to be with." I add hoping that it cheers her up a little bit.
"You think so?" She asks hopefully.
"Of course." I smile at her.
We start walking towards the parking lot again.
"Oh look there's Ashley." Kendra says and I turn around so fast I could have gotten whiplash.
She is standing next to Aiden's car talking to him and Glen. She is only wearing a tight tank top and short shorts. I really would like to sit in during one of those cheerleading practices. Glen and Aiden look like they just had the hardest workout of their lives. They have sweat all over their shirts and their faces are dripping with sweat as well. Eww.
I decide that it would be best if I just kept walking. I just wanted to know if Ashley was ok and it seems like she is fine. I keep walking and Kendra follows.
"Hey Spencer!" I hear Glen yell. I look over and he is waving me over. Aiden is looking over here as well and Ashley is avoiding this direction completely.
"Damn" I whisper yell under my breath and Kendra laughs. "Don't laugh because you are coming with me." And suddenly she doesn't find anything funny anymore.
"I have to go ho-" I turn to glare at her before she can finish. "You know I was thinking that I should go say hi to Ashley actually." I smile in triumph and pull her over to the others.
I slow my speed once we get closer, but I still hold on to Kendra's hand.
"You know Kendra right?" I ask everyone when we finally reach them but mainly talking to Glen and Aiden. Both of them nod their heads and give her a hey or hi. I notice Ashley look down at my hand which was still holding Kendra's. As discretely as I could, I let go. "What did you want Glen?"
"So?" Glen asks like he expects me to know what he's talking about.
"So what?" I ask looking at him like he is crazy.
"Will you be playing on Friday?" He questions.
"Of course she will be playing! Actually we both will be starting." Kendra says for the both of us. And the entire time my eyes are on Ashley and when Kendra says that I see a small smile at the corner of her lips. At least I know that she is happy for me even if she doesn't say anything.
"Congrats baby sis!" Glen says picking me up and spinning me around. I wiggle out of his grip and he finally puts me down.
I hit him. "I told you that you can't call me that if we were born at the same time. Although sometimes I question if we are related at all."
"Correction, I was born five minutes earlier, so I have the right to call you baby sis if I want. And you can't deny me Spence, we look alike." He tells me with a smile.
"He's right. You two like alike, a lot actually." Kendra says with a laugh.
"Hey you are supposed to be on my side." I pout at her.
"I am, but I'm just telling the truth." She says holding her hands up like she's defending herself.
"Exactly, even your friend agrees with me." He smiles proudly. "So Kendra you are invited to come celebrating with us tonight, if you want." Glen tells her and suddenly I'm confused. And by the looks on everyone else's faces, they are too.
"What are you talking about Glen?" Aiden asks taking the words right out of my mouth.
"All of you are invited to come over to celebrate these two" He points at me and Kendra "making the starting team. We are just going to drink, and chill, nothing too big." Glen says simply.
"Ok sounds good, I need to shower though." Kendra says.
"I think we all do." I say and everyone laughs. I turn to Kendra. "Here's my address, come by whenever you are ready." I send her a quick text of my address.
"Ok cool, I'll see you later." We say our goodbyes and she leaves. And I suddenly feel awkward.
"I'm really proud of you Spence. I knew you could do it." Glen smiles at me and I hug him. I really do love him.
"Thanks Glen." I say as we break apart
"We should get going though; we have a night of fun ahead of us." Aiden says. "I'll see you two later." He speaks specifically to me and Glen.
He and Ashley turn to leave although Ashley looked as if she wanted to say something. Glen leaves to head to his car and I am still standing in the same spot.
"Ashley!" I yell out to her. She turns around to see me looking at her, and then she turns to Aiden and says something to him.
As she gets closer, I can sense the nervousness in her eyes.
"I'm sorry about this morning." I tell her honestly and she looks at me with a surprised look on her face. "I should not have pushed you. I mean I know it can be hard to come out. I can't even come out to my own parents."
"I get it, you were mad. But that doesn't change anything. I'm still not ready yet." She says.
"I know and I'm not here to try to change that. I just wanted to apologize." I tell her honestly.
"Thanks. And I'm sorry for saying what I did about you. I know you would never do anything intentionally to hurt me or Kendra." She looks directly into my eyes as she tells me this and I can see the sincerity in her eyes. "With that being said, I think it's best if we just you know went our separate ways." And now it feels like I'm going to be sick. Why do we need to go our separate ways? "After our argument I went to the little playground by the tree and I just sat there thinking. You want something that I can't give you right now, and I can't be around you without wanting something more from you." I go to say something but she speaks again. "Before you say anything, I think this is what's best for both of us." How the hell is she going to tell me what's best for me?
"How do you know what's best for me?" I voice my thoughts, more like scream them.
"I just…please don't make this harder than it has to be." She says like she's pleading with me.
I let out a deep breath. I really can't believe this is happening. I was hoping that we could still at least be friends. After spending the day without seeing Ashley at all, I realized how much I missed her. And now she doesn't want to have anything to do with me.
"If that's what you want, then there's nothing I can do about it." I leave before anymore words can be said. I don't even look back to see if she left or not, I just leave.
When I get to my house fifteen minutes later, I only see Glen's car out front. It's not surprising that my parents are working late, yet again. I text Chelsea and tell her to come over and to bring Carmen along with her. I can't have a celebration without my best friend. Of course she questioned it, but I decided not to answer.
I hear the shower going once I open the front door. I rush upstairs, go to my bathroom and take a shower myself. I'm really not looking forward to having people over tonight. All I want to do is lay in bed with some ice cream. Depressing, I know, but I'm hurting.
After getting dressed, I walk down the stairs and notice that Kendra and Aiden are here. I wonder if Ashley is here too.
"Hey Kendra, Aiden." I say to them and I receive a hi and hey in return. They seem to be in a discussion about the football game from last night.
I make my way into the kitchen and I find Glen on the phone.
"Two sausage and bacon and one cheese." I guess we are having pizza for dinner tonight.
I get a drink and wait for him to get off the phone. Finally after a few minutes he hangs up.
"Have you heard from mom and dad?" I ask him.
He shakes his head. "No, they just left money for dinner."
"Oh" Is my simple reply. "Did Ashley come? I didn't see her out there with Aiden."
"No Aiden said that she wasn't feeling well." He says and goes into the living room. I follow him and I see Chelsea and Carmen now sitting next to Aiden and Kendra.
"Hey Chelsea, hi Carmen." I say to them when I get closer.
Chelsea jumped up and hugged me. "I'm so happy for you!" She yells in my ear. I guess someone told her the good news already. "I'm going to be at every game cheering you on." I love my best friend.
"Thank you Chels. I'm looking forward to it." I smile at her. "And I hope to see you there too, Carmen." I tell her seriously.
"Unfortunately, I will be there. This one is making me go." She points at Chelsea and I laugh.
For the rest of the night, we tell jokes, we laugh, we talk, and we just have a good time. The night could have been a million times better if Ashley had been there.
When I went to sleep that night, I only had one thing on my mind: If this is what's best for both of us, then why does it hurt so much?
A/N: Ok so I know this chapter is not great. I know that some of you will not like what I have done, but you will love what I have planned for future chapters. As always review, so that I know what you think.