Take the Fight out of the Kid

Chapter Eight

'Winged time glides on insensibly, and deceive us; and there is nothing more fleeting then years.'- Ovid

(slight word of advice, if you listen to the song Almost Lover, by A Fine Frenzy, after the italic section, it'll add good effects to the reading of the chapter)

When I woke up the day after I was alone, the bed sheets were crumpled a bit and Luxord was sitting on the couch like he usually was when I woke up alone. "Xemnas wants to see you downstairs once yours dressed and everything." the smile on his face was something that concerned me, but aside from that, I just nod my head and threw the blankets off of me so I could get dressed at least in a pair of slacks before going down to see Xemnas.

"Alright… do I get time for a shower first?"

"Nope, he wants to see you as soon as yours dressed." I let out a sigh and nod as I pulled the pair of black slacks up my legs and ran my hand through my hair, feeling a braid and feeling anger boil in my stomach.

"Bitch! She put fucking braids in my hair?" I ran my fingers over the braid taking it out, being more fucking pissed then I'd been in a while. I hated when people touched my hair, but having someone play with it and me not waking up? Why the hell hadn't I woke up? I was always one of those kids that could hear a pin drop and wake up because of it.

"Relax… she didn't do much before she had to leave. And luckily for you, you wont ever have to see her again. Xemnas didn't like the idea that she was falling for you, so he's never letting her come back. Now hurry up, your being so slow." I just rolled my eyes and pulled my pants up so I could just walk down to wherever Xemnas was.

"Alright, follow me." Luxord motioned for me to follow him, as if what he said didn't give me enough of a hint or anything. The hard wood floor of the hallway was cold to my bare feet, but I ignored it since my body temperature was always higher then the others in the house. I wondered slightly why Xemnas spent so much time here instead of at all his other Boggles, but this one did bring in the most money, so why not, it'd be in his best interest to watch over those of us in the expensive house wouldn't it?

Luxord lead me outside towards the patio in the back, Xemnas was sitting under a large umbrella, Saïx beside him and a few other of the Leeches were hanging around. I looked around for the others that the Leeches looked after but I couldn't see any of them as I sat down where Xemnas pointed, wondering if he'd discovered that I killed the Reaper and was going to have them kill me (Leeches were lower then Wolves by the way, they had to take care of two or more of the lower-class kickers).

I stretched out a bit to allow my chest to catch some sun as I looked at Xemnas and Saïx, watching as the blue haired man's eyes roved over me the way they usually did.

"Go get him his present Luxord." Xemnas sounded almost happy and I turned my eyes on him, wondering what the hell my present was going to be, that small child inside me that hadn't had a present since my parents, came to life for a moment before I realized that it was Xemnas and I shouldn't be happy about a present he's giving me.

"Axel, I've decided that after three, almost four years of your service for me, it's time I actually give you something but a customer. It may be because I just got a huge amount of money, or the fact that Jenn likes you so and I feel the need to thank you for playing along with her little fantasy, but in short, I'm giving everyone in this house a treat, and you are the last, and possibly most important.

"I know you hate it here, and you're certainly not about to go around and abuse this new found privilege." his smile was creepy and I refrained from turning around as I heard Luxord approaching. "So go ahead, have fun with it and don't come whining to me if something happens and you don't know what to do." Xemnas waved me off and I stood up to leave, only to stop when I saw Luxord standing with one fairly small puppy in his hands, no bigger then his head as he held it out towards me.

"Here you go kid… a Great Dane. Give him a name and the whole shebang." Luxord was smiling brightly and I just raised an eyebrow, wondering what the catch was as I looked from Luxord to Xemnas as the tall blonde man set the puppy in my hands and I held him to my chest so I wouldn't drop him.

"What's the catch. Nothing is a gift with you Xemnas. For my birthday you simply give me a cupcake and say I don't have to work that night. I'm not buying this." the Great Dane yapped- simply because it was too small to make another sound -and I allowed my thumb to stroke it's side as I glared at the silver haired man who was doing nothing but sincerely smiling.

"Consider it a sort of redemption. I shouldn't have allowed Xigbar to do anything to you, and taking you to an alley surely wasn't the plan. It's a shame he's dead- really it is. But he deserved it, it's horrid how he was found charred and crushed in an alley. They don't know what happened to him, they didn't find anyone who'd seen him before it happened. But this is an apology for all those horrid customers. The only catch is, you have to raise him and train him, and if he wrecks the furniture, it's coming out of your pay. I'll take care of his food and I'll take care of his medical." I scowled, but it was a hard offer to pass up as he caught my pointer finger in it's mouth and started sucking.

"And I'm allowed to take him on walks on the estate?" I'd learned the way to talk to Xemnas about the mansion, I couldn't call it a Boggle and I couldn't call it a compound, therefore, I called it a mansion or estate.

"Yes of course. I wouldn't give you a high activity dog if I didn't want you to let it walk anywhere. So please, go take him anywhere on the property and get to know him, give him a name and I'll let Luxord take you to a pet shop for supplies that you'll need. Just keep in mind he'll be a big responsibility." for all I knew he wanted me to stop 'plotting against him' and just occupy my mind with something he approved of: taking care of something other then the others in the house since I was the main reason none of them were broken yet.

"Alright… I guess." I looked down at the small white Great Dane puppy, it's pink nose and barely opened eyes looked dazzling, but I could tell they were gold like a wolf's, so I started thinking of names as I stood there.

"I still don't understand this superior, he killed the Reaper! And you're giving him a puppy. What kind of messed up logic is-"

"Axel has been a good employee for years, besides… there is no proof he killed the Reaper. Unless you have some kind of proof I don't know about Saïx."

"But Xemnas, you always used to talk about breaking him, how the hell is a puppy going to do that?"

"Saïx, my dear, stupid Saïx… I know when I've been bested. And I know what would be best for my business, after three- almost four -years now, breaking Axel is not what I want, he's much more valulable unbroken and fiery. Now, be a good little pet of mine and go get me a vodka martini. Besides, who cares if he killed someone? No one liked the Reaper as it is."

"What happened to 'If you cant take the kid out of the fight, you take the fight out of the kid'!" Saïx looked absolutely livid as he stood up and turned to leave so he could get Xemnas the martini- a fairly girly drink if you ask me.

"Answer me this though Xemnas: why am I still here, if Roxas is dead?"

"No one knows which twin died, but as it is they've been off the grid since the incident. You're here now, because you're roped too far into this lifestyle. You don't have anywhere else to turn, you don't know how to go about getting another job, you don't know how to go about doing anything. Besides… if you leave, Sora, Demyx, Zexion… and even Xion, would have to take over your clients." his voice was so clear and precise that I knew it was a threat to the other people that I've grown close to: I really should have remained an insensitive jackass- it would have been better if I had I suppose.

"Fine then… as long as I know who your targeting, we'll be fine- oh, and whoever Xion had as a client the night before last… I want to know what I can do about taking them off her hands, or buying them off." it hadn't been uncommon for me to offer that, expectably in Xion's case, she'd never had the opportunity to go to the Reaper to even try and get a better job, she didn't even have a license to get a job at all- unless it was black market stuff.

"Really? How odd, but I'm afraid that cant happen, the person who was her customer no longer walks the earth." I raised an eyebrow and Xemnas only smirked as he mouthed the word 'Reaper' my blood boiled for a moment before all sympathy and horribleness I felt about killing him vanished.

"Well then in that case, I'll see you around… have to go name my dog and all." I felt stupid for allowing myself to be manipulated by Xemnas again, this time he was threatening people who had become my life line. No one knew that I kept strong because of the four people I'd grown close to.

Luxord didn't seem bothered too much as I walked around, he obviously knew that I'd killed the Reaper, he'd obviously blamed himself for not being there since he could have and would have stopped it. But the fact that he took Jenn back to the mansion without me, well that was just a stoke of luck that was in my favor.

"Axel! Hey, are you still busy, Xion really needs to- oh my god is that a puppy?" Sora ran a kilometer in less then ten seconds I'm sure. He was suddenly standing in front of me making kissy faces at the still nameless puppy- my brain was having trouble coming up with names, I was down to a few options and was narrowing it down by the second.

"Oh my god.. It's so fucking cute! Please, please, please, please, please tell me he's yours and you're allowed to keep him!" he made to grab the Great Dane but I held him out of Sora's grasp as Demyx came over next, towing Zexion behind him by his coat sleeve.

"Yes he's mine, yes I'm keeping him, no you cant have him and no I don't have a name yet, and I certainly will not let you name him." I could see his face sadden slightly as I shot down him naming the puppy but I figured trying a subject change would be good. "What where you saying about Xion, Sora?" he pried his attention away from the puppy long enough to raise his hand to his chin and stroke the nonexistent beard a few times as he thought.

"Oh right! She's been really down since fruit-for-breakfast day… she needs you to talk to. Me and Demyx have tried… but she just starts crying. I don't think she's doing too good." asshole! He should have told me instead of gawking over the puppy!

"You twat! Why didn't you tell me sooner?" they all knew I thought of Xion as a sister, and for all I knew I could have been using her to replace Lilly, but still, she had been needing to talk to me and Sora had wasted precious minutes? That was unacceptable, especially when I'm the only of us four boys in our group that knows she's tried to kill herself before.

"Where is she Sora?"

"She's over by the lake… she told me and Demyx to leave her alone when we tried to talk to her." I ground my teeth together and kicked into a run, having set the puppy in Luxords arms and kicking myself into an all out dash towards the lake.

"Xion!" the only thing that'd been running through my mind was the last time I'd caught her trying to do it, a really horrible experience for me, and probably even worse for her.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

I'd been worried for a few days, it had been a week since her last attempt, and Xemnas had given me yet another threat that if I let it spill to the others that I'd be the 'next to go' as in they'd kill me- there biggest money bag, who've thunk it. Xion always slept better when I was there when she fell asleep, something about needing a comforting person around so she could feel safe- and I totally understood. There was a while after my first night that Luxord had to be in the room, even to that day if Luxord wasn't there when I woke up I'd freak out on the inside. But that was the difference between me and everyone else: I hid my emotions under layers and layers of attitude and witty comebacks, while most of their emotions were hidden under one or two layers, in Xion's case, no layers at all.

I'd been walking outside, Luxord was just a little ways off because I liked to mumble songs and he found it annoying- only making me want to do it more. My hands had been in my pockets and I'd just been looking up at the clouds as I sang or hummed, or did whatever I did.

I heard a slight curse and figured it was nothing more then Luxord hitting his head on a branch or something as he played with his phone. There was another curse and a yelp as there was a splash.

My eyes snapped open as I recognized the yelp as Xions and I turned my head in the direction it came from: the lake. I had run as quickly as I could, the water was still unsettled as I got there, seeing her figure underneath the ripples and bubbles rising to the surface.

It had taken my mind all of two seconds to jump into the water after her. I opened my eyes and saw her, eyes closed tightly and her arms wrapped around herself like she was shivering as bubbles slowly leaked from her nose and her mouth. She had tied a rock to her ankle, heavy enough to drag even a life preserver down I supposed. I swam over and started yanking at the rope that was tied tightly around the rock and her ankles. I felt her hands trying to pull me off but I refused to stop, even as she weakened.

I hand reached for a rock and I grabbed it, thankful that she hadn't been able to throw the rock too deep as I started sawing at the rope with the rock. I felt so desperate as I worked away at it, I could feel someone else jump into the water but ignored it since they didn't bother trying to pull me away, they were more concerned with Xion. If her stupid Wolf had been more attentive she wouldn't be able to attempt to commit suicide.

I had finally sawed through the rope so the other person- Luxord -and I pulled her to the surface. I climbed onto the dock and pulled her up after me, starting right away on some of the CPR that Vexen had taught me- thankfully by using a dummy.

The second she came back I fell over her in a hug, my heart was still pounding and I was scared until she came back, her face had already started to loose color when we'd gotten her out of the water and I was scared that I'd loose her like I lost Lilly.

"Axel… you should have let me go… I don't want to live." she started crying but she hugged me back. "I'm not worth living Axel. If this is what my life will be, then I don't want it. Give my slot in life to someone who better deserves it."

That statement had just made me angry and I sat up, grabbing her face and forcing her to look at me. "Xion, Xion listen to me… no matter what others say; your not worthless. You've never been worthless! No matter how many times you try and run away, I'll always be there to bring you back!"

"But, what if I don't want to come back? What if all your bringing me back to is torture? Axel… let me go, I beg you."

"No! If bringing you back means torturing you, just remember: you've been strong enough to withstand all they've thrown at you for this long, and it cant get worse. You are letting them win if you die Xion! I'll be there to bring you back!"

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

I'm not sure if something else was said or if more words were exchanged, but by the time that my mind stopped replaying those words and that scene, I was on the docks, the water was still already and I dove right in, knowing she probably would have thrown the rock farther if she could.

I snapped my eyes, open, feeling the sting of the fairly clear fresh water as I swiveled my head to find her. She was fairly far off, her arms tightly wrapped around herself again and a much thicker rope tying her to the rock in several places. I swam over and crushed my lips to hers, forcing air into her lungs that she just blew out again.

I surfaced for another lungful, my heart pounding as I saw Luxord give the puppy to Sora and jump in after me, yelling for Demyx and Zexion to do something. I swam back down and forced another lungful of air into her lungs. She held this one for a moment or two before letting it out. Luxord was down trying to rip through the rope to get rid of it, but the rock was too far down to grab another to cut it. Zexion pressed the next air kiss to her lips but she expelled the air almost as soon as his lips parted from hers.

I surfaced again for more air, catching a glimpse of Sora yelling to a running Demyx as he didn't know what to do with the puppy. I dove back down and gave Xion more air before lowering myself to help Luxord. I used the rope to pull myself down to the rock it was tied around and for a moment I wondered how she managed to carry it as I rummaged my hand around to grab a rock to cut with.

Air was becoming needed and I pushed off from the bottom and grabbed a lungful of air. As I dove back down Zexion was giving her more air and all I could see of her was a pale figure, her body was going limp and the image of my baby sister flashed in my vision. I grabbed her ankle and lowered so my teeth were on the rope and began chewing through it since there was nothing better that could have helped. Both Zexion and Luxord were switching between giving her air now and I was the only hope for getting her unattached before we lost her.

With every bite I made I was getting more and more scared that we weren't going to make it, I was getting weaker because I was holding my breath so long and I'm sure that Luxord and Zexion were getting light headed.

My heart was pounding, trying to get more oxygen through my body and just before I had to stop to take in another lungful of air the rope snapped and all four of us resurfaced.

I slunk my arm around Xions waist and pulled her out of the water, taking gulps of air for myself as I climbed onto the deck once again and started CPR. Sora ran over and started asking if she was alright, if she was going to live. I pushed him out of the way and tried as hard as I could to push air into her lungs.

"Common Xion, Common!" her lips were paling and she didn't have a pulse but I didn't want to give up, every time I pushed down on her chest to beat her heart for her all I could see was Lilly, almost blue and dead as I carried her to my thicket in Ireland.

"Axel, she's gone… Axel stop. Axel!" Luxord pulled me off her and held me back as I tried to move forward again.

"Xion!" Sora was crying, holding my puppy to his chest and Zexion was kneeling on the other side of Xion, gently removing the ropes from her ankles and folded her arms over her chest. "I said I'd bring you back!" Luxord let me go and I fell forward, holding myself up above her. Tears were wanting to spill from my eyes as one moment I saw her and the next I saw Lilly. "Xion… why'd you have to do this? I was coming to talk." my hair had fallen limp because of the water as I lowered my head so our foreheads were touching, she was already cold as ice and I couldn't stop the tears from wanting to fall- I held them in though.

"Xion… why?" I sat myself back and ran my hands through my hair, trying as hard as I could to stop the tears from falling as I saw Sora crying, my puppy down on the ground beside him, crawling towards me. I reached out and grabbed him up as Demyx came back with Vexen, Lexaeus, Xemnas and Saïx.

"Luxord, get Axel and Zexion back into the mansion and dried off before they catch cold. Vexen and Saïx get her out of here. Lexaeus, take Sora and Demyx back to their rooms."

"No!" Sora stood up and tried to run passed me but I grabbed him in my free hand and pulled him down beside me, ignoring his pained whimper and looked up at Xemnas with a bit of a glare. I blamed him completely, of course I did, but if Sora or Demyx were alone at that moment I didn't know what would happen.

"It's fine. They can stay with us… nothing bad will happen, I promise." Xemnas glared for a moment, looking me over as I glared at him, but nod his head in agreement.

Sora was clinging to my arm the entire way to our rooms, Zexion and I were ushered into the bathroom to get warmed up and I left my still unnamed puppy with them, glad that the small puppy could make them slightly happier.

"What are we going to do Axel… it's not like Xemnas will give us a moment alone now."

"No, we're fine. So long as we don't seem suicidal." I didn't want to tell him about the previous times I'd stopped her. The shower was basically an entire wall in the bathroom, lined with shower heads and temperature taps. I ran my hands through my hair, feeling the grime from the lake and deciding to grab some of the shampoo from the dispenser and started rubbing it through my hair.

"How can you say that? Did you see your own face? Do you see your own face? You look horrible, your eyes are red and puffy, your nose is running a bit and-"

"I'm fucking sad alright? Are you happy? This is what I look like when I'm sad Zexion! One of my only friends left on this earth is DEAD and I cant do ANYTHING about it! How am I supposed to feel? Like going out and celebrating? No! she killed herself and I feel like I could have stopped it- I should have stopped it! I should have been there to protect her and I wasn't! Lilly didn't deserve to-" I cut myself off there, I hadn't meant to utter her name, and it's the only time her name passed my lips outside that house back in Ireland.

Zexions eyes went wide and he opened his mouth to ask, but didn't bother as I turned my back on him in the communal shower and started rubbing the shampoo into my scalp before attacking my arms and torso with the body soap.

Getting back into my room I noticed that both Demyx and Sora were sleeping on the bed and my puppy was still awake between them. "So Axel… have you figured out his name yet?"

"Yeah, I'm thinking Lumier… the name seems to work." I crawled onto the bed to the top right corner and let out a sigh as I pulled Lumier towards me so he was curled in the crook my body made. "Might as well climb in and get some shut eye Zexion… I think tomorrow's going to be a long day."

"How can you sleep after what just happened?"

"I killed a man last night Zexion, the number of people I've seen die has just increased by one. I can sleep fine… unless you want liquor? I've got beer, and probably could get some hard stuff if I asked for it."

"Nah, Demyx doesn't like it when I drink… I tend to black out." I nod my head in understanding and closed my eyes a bit, keeping the candles burning just to make sure that if any of the others woke up they'd know how to find stuff or if I woke up I'd be able to look into calm flames.

All I could remember was silently crying that night, stroking Lumier every now and then when he started to stir in his own sleep. He started whining for food sometime in the early morning and I let out a sigh getting up out of bed, stopping for a moment to admire how cute Zexion and Demyx looked before going down into the kitchen to get something for him to drink out of- hopefully a bottle or a bowl.

I slipped down into the kitchen and grabbed a bowl, Lumier in my arms. "Alright…. Ugh, do you drink milk still? Or do you eat food?" I spent a moment sitting on the island of the kitchen, the bowl and jug of milk beside me, Lumier in my lap. "Okay, lets figure it out this way." I lifted Lumier in one hand and gently nudged his mouth open a bit to see if he had teeth and if so what kind of teeth they were.

"He needs milk, from a bottle. Xemnas was an ass and took him before he was weaned. If you want, I'll take you to the store to get some stuff for him now if you want."

"Uh, can you help me just get him fed first?" Luxord nod his head and walked over and took the bowl back before grabbing a bottle from the same cupboard and walked over.

"So Axel… have you given him a name yet?"

"Yeah, Lumier." I watched everything that Luxord was doing, but remained quiet as I thought about the events of the last thirty six hours or so. The number of people I'd seen die had gone up: from nine to eleven. It wasn't fair, Roxas was gone, Xion was gone, Sora and Demyx were devastated, and I feel like I could have stopped it.

"Here, give him this then go upstairs and get dressed. Oh, and stop being the rock Axel… you don't need to be their big brother." now that was rich, how the hell could I not watch out for them? They were the closest thing I had to family, didn't that mean I had to protect it?

"Whatever Luxord."

"No, I've seen it a bunch of times, the strong one always falls because of the weaker ones. It doesn't make you stronger to protect the weak, they drag you down and make you weaker too." I just shrugged as I raised the bottle to Lumier's mouth as I walked back up to my room so I could get ready to go out and get him some supplies to make him more comfortable.

"Axel… what're you doing up?" I looked to the side and noticed that it was only six o'clock in the morning.

"Oh… Lumier woke me up. Luxord is going to take me out to get some stuff for him though. How are you doing?"

"I'm alright… Demyx and Sora woke up a few minutes ago, they just went back to bed. They had a nightmare about Xion." I nod my head and handed Lumier off to Zexion as he motioned to take him. "I'm not sure if their going to be able to bounce back from this Axel."

"They'll be fine eventually… I'm sure of it… are you going to be alright though?"

"I couldn't do anything Axel, how do you think I feel? I feel like fucking shit!" Lumier whimpered in his arms and I let out a sigh as I buttoned up a pair of black skinny jeans so I could take him back.

"Zexion, is there anything I can-"

"No Axel! There is nothing you can do! I don't need someone to coddle me and tell me it's going to be fine. I need time to think it all through! I cant be like you, I can't kill someone and be fine the next day. I cant watch a friend die and be alright." he looked close to hysterics as he gripped his hair and sat down on the foot of the bed.

"Zexion… if I leave, are you going to be alright?"

"No! No I wont be alright, because then I'll have to be the rock and I cant do that! I don't have emotional ties to Sora and I cant just up and make them!"

"Zexion, I mean if I go to the store."

"How can you make everything so SIMPLE?"

I let out a sigh and gave a bit of a smile, he was so simple sometimes. "Zexion… if you over think things then all you'll ever do is think. There are some cases, when you just need to remember the good. Don't remember how the person died, but remember the good experiences. Remember the good things that happened, the good experiences."

"I cant do that though."

"Then your doomed Zexion. Doomed to remember all the bad and forget the good." on the inside I was still crying, my chest was tight and I felt like I was going to go crazy if one more person said she was dead.

"Axel… can I ask you a question?"

"Shoot."

"Who is Lilly? You said her name in the bathroom and I just wanted to-"

"No one. It was just a name that slipped out." he didn't push the subject, and it was the only thing I was really appreciative about because if he had kept prying, I might have broken completely.

AN:

Me: thank you all for reading! I think I've finally got the angst into it! ^o^

Axel: that was really fucking mean. sure, I know you don't like Xion that much- but you like her more then Sora, don't you?

Me: No. the order of KH characters I like (in order) are you(Axel) Roxas, Sora, Demyx. Kairi and Namine fall last, Riku is neither high nor low on my list (the Soriku pairing kinda pisses me off just because I think Riku is a stupid bitch [but I digress]) the rest of the characters I don't really care about (But my favorite number is now 1389 because of KH)!

Axel: wow… you really need to get your priorities straight.

Me: they are straight: finish this fic, think of another fic (Possibly Hunger Games crossover) Cosplay, going to watch movies, possibly get a boyfriend for the summer (Doubt that though, guys seem to be scared of tall girls that've got a bite) practice my Bass Clarinet since I've spent a year and a half away from it, and next year I shall work more on school( also maybe get a book published) I know what I'm doing with my life thank you!

Roxas: why'd you write that all out here? I doubt people are still reading because of that.

Me: people don't read these things anyways. Anyhow, take it away Sora!

Sora: thank you for reading and we'd love to hear your comments (even if they are to yell at Elizabeth for being such a derp and rambling about her life) we hope you come back for the next chapter, have a good time and make some fun! =^_^=