Take the Fight out of the Kid
Chapter Nine
'Where the nightingale doth sing; Not a senseless, tranced thing, But divine melodious truth.'- John Keats
Five months, it sounded like such a long time, and it might have been. The five months were nothing but a blur to me, my days went normally once I got into the rhythm with Lumier beside me. We went for daily walks, usually accompanied by Demyx, Sora and Zexion. He was good for us, kept us all happy and when those dark moments did pop up, he never let me fall as far as I wanted to.
Saïx was right, I hadn't stopped myself from being broken, I just deteriorated over time until there was nothing left but a shell and a bit of willpower left hidden inside. On my fifteenth birthday I was given a German Shepherd puppy that I'd named Cerberus, he was pretty good, Lumier took the alpha role between the two though. That was three years ago though, and as far as I'm concerned, my story is done for now, nothing new has happened in a long time, I mean: I'm eighteen, shouldn't something else have happened with my life aside from just reading books with my dogs or sex that I don't want? I don't have the mental stability to write about the rest of what's happened to me over the four years I haven't mentioned, because I haven't mentioned any events for various important reasons.
My hand is hurting, and I'm calling this stupid book quits. I tried, I really have. I just cant find it in me though: what is the point of a book written from the point of view of some stupid whore that is stuck? I'll never be able to run enough, I'll never be able to run from what I've been turned into. Xemnas has control over my life and I'm broken, my name is Axel O'Riley, and I'm nothing more then a broken and empty shell now, nothing can change that.'
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
I let out a sigh as I set the pen down, a stack of over two hundred pages is on my desk, Lumier and Cerberus are sleeping on the ground beside my desk, the top of it covered in paper and candles. I still love looking at fire- it's one thing that hasn't changed, but another thing that I cant stand, something that has kept the small fire burning in me, is the fact that I hate Xemnas.
Zexion and Demyx are gone, Demyx had gotten a really harsh customer one night and was crying… normally our rooms are sound proofed, but Xemnas had wanted some entertainment that night and decided to flip that one little switch that allowed sound to travel as freely as it normally would. Zexion had gotten pissed and couldn't keep his cool, he would've been able to help Demyx through it after words but his temper and emotions got the best of him. He went running un, tackled the guy and got his head hit on the nightstand. Vexen told us he died instantly, but from the groans of pain I heard and the stomping of a foot I knew that wasn't what happened.
Unfortunetly with Zexion gone Demyx saw that he no longer had a reason to live, I found him in the bathroom, wrists slit and his blood looking more like liquid copper as it slid down the drain with the running hot water that was pouring down on him.
I don't even think Lumier and Cerberus can bring back the kid I once was, the kid who intimidated adults and sat in the Reapers chair. I'll never be that boy who walked down the streets with a glare on his face because I didn't like the smell of the streets- hell, I cant even remember what city streets smell like.
This stupid book was supposed to be a slap in the face to Xemnas, a slap in the face and me screaming at the top of my lungs that 'YOU HAVENT BROKEN ME YET' but now, as I read over and look over the pages, all it's whimpering is 'I'm broken, you've finally won so do away with me.' my parents never said life was fair, but they said it could be good. I still wear their pendants around my neck, to try and keep that fire living and meaningful… but it just doesn't seem to matter anymore.
Luxord has been watching me like a hawk for the past year and a half since Demyx committed suicide, not even allowed to take a piss without having him in the room, and it's not much better for Sora. He went into a bit of depression and having Demyx the one dead, well that didn't help. Luckily for him he was getting out. Riku had taken a particular interest in him, and since the silver haired boy I'd once teased and taunted had more money then balls, he is in the process of buying Sora off Xemnas' hands.
It's good for him I'm sure, but once the week is up, I'll no longer have a companion aside from my dogs who cant talk back, and Luxord who will only give the answers I want to hear.
I look to Luxord, laying out on the couch in my room, his arms crossed under his head as a pillow and his long black coat that all the Wolves started wearing a year ago over him as a blanket instead of the blanket that was draped over the back of the couch.
The decor in my room has changed yet again also; no more flaming red sheets, now just black silk, the curtains coming down from the canopy are black lace and all in all it looks like something out of a vampire book. I've unscrewed all but one light bulb that I rarely use because I find no reason for the light because I have so many candles.
There is a knock on my door and Cerberus wakes up with a bit of a bark, getting right to his feet and stirring Lumier in the process. "Relax boy. I've got it." one thing that Xemnas doesn't know about the two dogs though, is that I've have both their tracking chips that he put in them removed and fitted into a sleeve that I sewed into their collars as soon as I'd gotten them. The veterinarian who had done it was concerned about it, but because the chips hadn't been in place long he did it, and there were no scars from it either.
"Hello?" I open the door and see Sora standing outside the door, his hands wringing at the front of his shirt and I can see Lexaeus out of the corner of my eye. "What's up Sora? Cant sleep?" I look back and see my digital clock, reading three in the morning.
"I-I ha-had a nightmare." he needn't say anymore. I open the door further and pull him into a hug. Nightmares have been plaguing him since what happened to Xion, Zexion and Demyx just made them all more horrible for him. He buries his head in my shoulder and I let out a sigh as I stroke the crazy array of brown spikes that are soft to the touch.
"Alright Sora. Common in." Lexaeus stayed outside since Luxord was in here and I lead Sora over to the bed, freshly cleaned sheets that I haven't even sat down on since making the bed. "Get some sleep."
"Aren't you going to sleep?"
"Not right now, I'm uh… working on it again."
"Really? How far are you?"
"Not far at all… I'm giving up." Sora lets out a sigh as he crawls into the left side of my bed.
"You shouldn't Axel… you're good at writing! You shouldn't give it up Axel."
"Get some sleep Sora. I promise, I wont throw the pages out." Sora nods his head and snuggles down into the sheets. "C'mon boys, up you get." I jerk my head towards the bed and both dogs hop up and sprawl themselves out since I still sleep in a ball on the top right corner.
"Goodnight Axel. Get some sleep soon." Sora wrapped his arm around Cerberus' fluffy neck and closed his eyes to sleep.
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
Strobe lights, darkness, the wave and movement of moving bodies and arms grabbing at me. My hips grind randomly and hands slide down my chest, covered in florescent paint of random doodles and squiggles that Sora thought would look good. He's currently dancing in the corner of the club with Riku, basically screwing on the dance floor as I dance around and kiss with random strangers.
Moments like this, moments where anyone can grab me and steal me away, they might be the only thing I live for now. I never know if a hand is going to grab at me too harshly and try to pull me out of the building.
"Axel!" the voice is small but I'm choosing to not pay attention to whoever is calling it until I'm grabbed by my left shoulder and spun around. I've only had a few drinks, but it's enough to make me a little dizzy. "Axel… what're you doing here?" it takes a moment with the darkness and the blinking lights but my eyes are slowly focusing on the figure.
"Namine?" she's been a customer of mine for a while, apparently the arranged marriage she was forced into about a year ago had pissed her off. "What're you doing here?" we are alright friends, she has paid for hours on end so we could just talk, and I found it alright since I didn't have to screw her. I grab her hand and spin her before starting a bit of a samba since the music has turned Latin and the dance floor is dividing into couples.
"Alright… got anyone you're with tonight?"
"Would I be humping people on the dance floor at random if I did?" she only giggled at the crude humor, what I did was much more refined then that, but basically it's what I was doing, and apparently she loves that 'honest quality' in me.
"Of course not… think you could take me home? I don't want to be around my husband tonight." I shrug and spin her around and dip her.
"Why not? I'd much rather bring you back then someone else." Her smile is so genuine that every time I see it I cant help but want to smile too. She's another person that reminds me of him, that far off memory I've held onto for dear life. I don't know why I keep his face buried so deep I could go into a philosophical discussion and a psychological discussion to contradict myself, but that wont help me get to the answer.
I lift Namine up and press a light kiss to the back of her hand, liking the fact I can show someone genuine kindness without them having to buy it from me. "I'll be right back, have to go let Sora know I wont be around to watch him and his bo. I'll meet you by the door, or outside?"
"Outside, it's really stuffy in here." I can see the blush on her cheeks, but until this moment I had thought it was one of those 'he's really close to me blushes' since I am- apparently -naturally good at bringing those out of people. I watch as she turns towards the door and slides between the two well built bouncers before starting to dance and weave my way across the dance floor to find Sora.
I press a kiss to somebody's lips before letting them go and slinking away, most people are so stoned in here or their just passed being three sheets to the wind. Most people think that the name 'Death House' is just for show, but at least three people die a night of drug overdoses or getting into fights and being killed. It's a cutthroat place- unless your someone like me who knows how to stay under the radar but still get your job done right.
My lips pull into a smile as I see the bright silver hair that reflects every color the lights throw at it, knowing that Sora is pinned in front of that figure against the wall, most likely being molested in a good way by the silver haired ex-client of mine. I'm getting an idea and decide to go through with it- what's the worst Riku can do, punch me?
I tap his left shoulder powerfully enough so he'll pay attention and smirk as he pulled away from Sora and looks in the direction, turning back and going to kiss Sora with a slight scowl for being interrupted. Before their lips meet again I grab his head and pull him to the side, pressing a wet sloppy kiss to his cheek as he starts to flail.
"OPA!" I let him go and the room yells it back, I doubt anyone is Greek, or even knows what it means, but Riku's glaring daggers at me as I stand in place and wipe my lips as the song changes to another up beat rave kind of song. The lights instantly react and I'm lost in Death House before I realize once again that Riku is yelling at me.
"You fucking ass-wipe! What gives you the right to-" I clap my hand over his mouth to make him stop, pulling his face so my hand is almost the only thing separating us as Sora just stares at us with wide eyes.
"Listen up Riku, because this is of the utmost importance. In nine point four seconds, I'm going to let you go, and then there is a tall green haired man who is going to try and take Sora into the lavatory for a 'recreational activity' then in eight point six seconds, I'm going to leave the building with Luxord and go back to the house. You should have Sora home by midnight so he can get some sleep at some point."
Riku pulls my hand off his mouth and starts shouting at me again (Because it's a common occurrence) "You just wasted a minute of my fucking time… to tell me to have Sora home by midnight? Where do you live, Cinderella?"
"No but that'd be great… and in all fairness, I also warned you about him." I stand up straight, removing myself from him completely and point towards the bathroom where Sora is being lead inside in his drunken state, the green haired boy looking devious.
"Fuck!" Riku turns away from me and runs off to get the brunette that I wouldn't have let get hurt if Riku hadn't noticed- though in reality it's my fault for distracting Riku. I take a moment to lock eyes with Lexaeus, making sure he's keeping vigilant and he nods before moving off to watch over the brunette.
I turn towards the door and bump into Luxord, our chests are finally the same height and I think I might even be an inch or two taller- bonus -though it's most likely just because my hair looks like a mix between a fireball and lions mane- a few people have called me Simba and gotten black eyes for it. "Are you leaving now, because Namine is still waiting for you."
"I know, the question is: are you coming?" I pass around him easily, and weave my way through the crowd easily as Luxord's following. The crowd doesn't move for me, but they part like he's infected since his arms are locked over his chest and he's scowling. Giving off that 'I'm a Wolf' kind of aura.
I open the front door and notice that Namine isn't directly outside. "Oi, have you seen a girl, she's about this tall, platinum blonde hair, big blue eyes, looks like a doe?" I'm addressing the bouncer but he isn't replying so I scuff the back of his head with the heel of my hand. "Where's the blonde chick?" his eyes go wide and Luxord pulls me back a bit so I'm not smothering the bouncer.
"Wh-what blonde?"
"The one I just described?" Hastings Street, how many problems have I had on this stupid fucking street after dark? But all the good clubs and bars are here. "Short, platinum blonde, big blue eyes and she looks like a doe overall."
"Oh her, yeah I saw her." he's stopped there and I'm about to punch him before Luxord grabs my punching arm so I cant hit him.
"And where, exactly did you see her go?"
"She went that way with some blonde haired guy in a cape and suit- looked like a pissed father if you ask me." he waved his hand in the general direction and I ripped my arm out of Luxords grasp and started walking, anger always boiled through me when a night with Namine slipped through my fingers. With her it was more like I was a therapist and she just needed to vent- most times she did, but I didn't have to actually work, I just had to be a friend for a real friend.
I pull my phone out of my right back pocket as Luxord goes back to his phone- I'm beginning to think he's addicted to the damn thing (It's only taken me seven years to draw to that conclusion though).
I hit Namine's number and raise it to my ear. "Hey Axel, sorry about Namine, but she wasn't allowed out tonight, she has to still get prepared for the wedding." Ansem sounds so professional from the other side of the phone, and Namine understands that the wedding and marriage is for her best interest, she just isn't in love, and she had that childhood dream of marrying her prince charming.
"Oh, alright Mr. Wise. Uh, do you know a good day I could call to say hi?" he didn't hate me- simply because I never wanted sex out of his daughter since I was a whore and all -but he didn't like the fact that she ran to me to talk instead of him or her mother.
"Probably the week before the wedding, I'll make sure she's free to talk around… five next Saturday?"
"Alright, thank you Mr. Wise." he say's a short goodbye and I hang up.
"Axel, it's fine, Xemnas has a client back at the house for you apparently as it is." Luxord is always there to make an 'alright' night into a 'oh fuck I don't want to have my life anymore' kind of night. Since I've been bringing in my own clients my job has at least been a little more enjoyable since I'm not having to screw a bunch of guys in their forties and fifties.
"Fine… but for the record, I so don't want to go back." I let my head fall back and look up at the starless sky. I haven't seen stars vividly since Ireland, and I feel so sad every time I look up, and the few things I do see are satellites or planes.
I've also been graced with my own car, I had to buy it myself, but Xemnas has been taking care of things like the insurance and gas since I don't leave the compound unless I have to. It's pretty nice too, Vintage Ford Mustang, an original American Muscle car. It's painted black with two red streaks running up the hood and over the cab before vanishing at the tail. I've debated a few times about having flames painted on it, but don't want to waist the money because I'm getting close.
I slid into the drivers seat as Luxord gets into the Bentley that still drives him around. One thing that the life I have, it's made me excellent at finding the trackers that Xemnas puts in everything, I've taken the tracker out of my car and set it under the front seat so it still moves around with my car, I've taken the trackers out of my phone and have taped the thin disk to the back of it under the case and I'm able to take the 'permanent' tracker earring out in just the right way so it wont set off the shot of toxin that'll knock me out.
I'll get out, I know it… I just don't know how long it's going to take me, once Demyx died though, I promised myself that I'll get out, and that I'll get Sora out too. Riku is taking care of Sora, and I trust him enough to know that he's not going to just 'get tired' and throw Sora out again, but I have to get myself out and get away. Because there is no chance that I'll get out by being bought or something, I wouldn't want to be sold to anyone. If I want out before I'm dead, I have to run, and run far, far away.
My plan is pretty simple: one night, set all the trackers I have taken out and set them in their respective places, knock Luxord out with the wobbly chair leg that I know comes out… then I'll sneak out of the house since I've taken enough trips to the kitchen in the middle of the night- especially over the last few weeks -and I know the Wolves schedule. I'll get out into my car, open it up, take the tracker out and set it on the ground where it's parked- I'm getting a lift system soon by the way so I'll be able to go off road with it.
Pushing over to the lake and driving around the lake before breaking through the face would be simple from that point forward. I'll have to make sure that Lumier and Cerberus master the 'Silence' command before hand though, and that their nails are clipped or their wearing some booties to keep their nails from clicking though. Aside from those few factors, my plan is flawless.
My minds starting to wander and I'm starting to think of the men who've been previous repeat business for me, wondering if there are any left that really DARE to see me for a night: Reaper- dead, 'Sir' Jafar- dead, Scar- missing for two years, Seferoth- dead, Shan-Yu- missing for three, Ursla- dead, and Hades- found two weeks ago, dead.
'Sir' Jafar died by a, rather unfortunately placed vase on my headboard- the same placement for the vase concluded in the same unfortunate end for Scar. Seferoth came to his end in his apartment, he was the kind of freak that liked bondage and basically raping me… his end came from my nails when I was 'so enthralled' that I dug my fingers into his flesh- there had been nothing Luxord could have done about it since he was in the living room. Shan-Yu had been easy, a booty call to his office, I honestly didn't know that his pen set was that sharp as I rolled over so he was on the bottom. Ursla had died because of a heart attack- thank god! And Hades, well… he met close to the same end as the Reaper. I burned him to a crisp in his apartment close to a month ago.
Xemnas knows, Saïx knows, most of my old clients know. But I have my reasons for all of them. And their important I assure you. I take a deep breath as I stop outside the gates, Pete and Melifacent glare at my car for a moment before opening the gate so I can drive forward. They were stupid asses, Xemnas only kept them around because Pete didn't know how to check his wages to see if he was being paid properly, and Malifacent was better to have working for you then against you.
I stop my car in it's respective parking spot and turn it off before getting out, both Lumier and Cerberus are at my door, putting their paws on the door so they can get as close to my faces.
I lower down to one knee and allow them to lick my face a bit, a smile gracing my face as I work hard to keep my lips closed against their licks. Lumier is such a good regal looking albino, he holds himself high when it suits him and is a big lap dog when he wants to be and either me or Sora have an open lap. Cerberus is also a royal looking dog, his face is that of a picture perfect German Shepherd. He's apparently of actual German descent- you can tell because he's bigger then your average German Shepherd, tan stomach and chest, the black on his face coming up to just under his eyes and the two tan spots that look so much like eyebrows draw attention to his big brown eyes that can look so sad when he wants something.
These two dogs, they might be the only thing holding me to the world. Everything else seems so trivial compared to them, because I know if I just kill myself, they'll most likely be killed by Xemnas' own hand. I have to stay alive for them, but I have to stay on earth for myself. I will finish the story of my life, and it will be the biggest slap in the face to Xemnas that there ever has been… I know it. I just, have to find the right wording and… face the fear that he'll find me I suppose.
"Alright boys… c'mon, inside." Lumier and Cerberus start running for the house and I give a bit of a smile and start jogging towards the house behind them. Luxord is strolling in behind us and I decide to let him be as slow as he wants since I just want to get this over with since I'm going to have to put Lumier and Cerberus into their joint doghouse in the back that I had to build on all my days off a while back.
"Axel! Come into my office once you get the mutts tied up!"
"Their not mutts Xemnas! And if I have to keep telling you, I'll give them the command to eat you." the threat was under my breath, but I knew my two constant companions would obey the command. Xemnas still doesn't know that I've trained them both to walk on each side; Lumier on my right and Cerberus on my left. Cerberus is slightly stronger in the muscle department where Lumier is stronger in the speed department, so they evened me out a bit since my left was faster and right was stronger.
"Call them what you will kid, the point is I'll still cut them to ribbons if they come near me." Vexen has always been scared of them, I guess them growling now isn't helping though.
"I wouldn't let that happen Vexen, and you know you'd end up like 'The Stiffs' if you touch them." I give him a fake smile as I slide passed his 'lab' and out the back door. We've called my old clients who are now dead 'The Stiffs' because repeat business ended up dead.
"Don't you dare think for one minute that you scare me that much."
"My count in Canada is eight Vexen… do you want to tease being number nine?" he always pisses me off now, even as I'm walking away I want to turn around and punch him, but I know that Luxord would stop me since he's back to being my shadow again.
I let out a sigh as I tie both Lumier and Cerberus to their respective chains that give them a twenty foot radius of the fairly large dog house that Lumier can stand up straight in. "Be a good boy Lumier, you be good too Cerberus." I give both their heads a kiss and stand up to head back into the house. I want to bring them with me, so they can run in a field that they've never seen before, run through actual trees as fast and for as long as they want, something that they cant get here since from the roof of the house I can see the electrical fence that locks us inside the 'estate'.
I turn and take a few steps into the house before looking back at them, Cerberus getting into his 'I wanna play' position with his butt in the air and they start up a bout of play fighting that I know wont get out of hand since Lumier doesn't allow either of them to really hurt one another.
My feet are fairly light, 'dancer-like' as Sora says, as I make my way to Xemnas' office to hear about the client that is apparently waiting for me.
"Hey Xemnas, what's up?"
"Hello Axel. Glad you could grace me with your presence, your client is up in your room already. I suggest extreme caution he's out of sorts really, but the price he's offering for the night is too high and where I'd normally decline his request, I cant. He's given no specifications aside from he wants to hear you say his name with an Irish accent and he wants to be allowed to grab your hair. He's been looking for a Fire-engine red head with green eyes for a long time apparently, he's alright with the fact you have tattoo's on your face- something I'm still deeply pissed off about by the way -and he just wants his 'world to be rocked' to use his own words." I'm about to sit down but stop myself. "I think he might even meet your preferences, he has blonde hair and blue eyes… he seems to be into drugs though, so I want you to take another shot from Vexen just to be on the safe side before going upstairs, he's waiting for you already."
"Anything else Xemnas?"
"No, don't be mean though, and don't piss me off later."
"Do I get a name?"
"He didn't leave one and he's paid in cash. Now get going." I nod my head and stand up, no longer caring what my night turns into as long as this guy falls asleep after the fact then I'll be happy since I'll be able to go out and hang out with Lumier and Cerberus for a few hours before going back to bed so the man wont have to wake up alone unless he wants to- something Luxord will tell me in the morning.
The stairs seem longer tonight for some reason as I stand at the small landing between the two flights of steps. Luxord is hovering behind me, but to be completely honest, I really just don't feel up for a night of activity. I've never had a problem bringing clients back, it's just that sometimes I don't want to have sex every night… tonight's just one of those nights.
I'm at my door now, I don't really know how I've walked this far already but I'm here, and my hand's still at my side not reaching for the handle like I want it to. I take a deep breath and let it out as soothingly as I can as I reach for the handle.
My hand grasps the polished brass and I spend a moment looking at the gold Roman Numerals and open the door as slowly as I can but still being confident, I've had to deal with high people, drunk people, half bat-shit-crazy people, but one thing I know about all people, if in some way, they love confidence.
The room's dark and as I take a few steps into the room I notice the figure on my bed, sitting on the edge looking at the two pictures I have: one of me with my parents, and the other with me and Roxas in Stanley park that I'd paid three silver coins for to the bumb with the Polaroid camera- both pictures had been hidden away in my drawer though.
Anger is boiling in the pit of my stomach and I think for a moment that I'd buy this asshole out and kick him out of my room but the figure itself has caught my attention now. Fairly thin and frail looking, spiking blonde hair that flicks towards their right, a distinct silver necklace that is an X that's reflecting the light from the candles.
But his eyes, their slightly dilated and half closed as he looks at the pictures on the nightstand. My heart's starting to beat quicker and as I look at him my eyes are going dry because I cant blink, if I blink he'll vanish, I know it.
"R-Roxas?" he looks up and our eyes meet, he doesn't look the same, and my vision suddenly flashes to the image of him in the back of the Collectors Bentley, banging on the glass and yelling even though I cant hear him.
Roxas didn't live, Ventus killed him, remember it, he's just a blonde, he just looks the same- no similar! No one is the same, but he's gone. The Reaper said s- the Reaper said… fuck the Reaper said it!
AN:
Me: WoW! Alright, I think this is pretty good… kinda, harshish?
Axel: I like this set up, it makes it feel like it happening now, and that makes the emotions more real.
Roxas: that better not be me… I'm supposed to be dead, I was liking sitting out this fic.
Sora: you putting me with Riku? But I thought you didn't like us together!
Riku: she's already said she's going to try it. And it's not like she's basing an entire fic around it. Axel and Roxas are still her favorite.
Sora: I'm fine with that!
Axel: alright, well I'm going to do the introduction this time so without further adieu: here's Sora.
Sora: Alright, and thank you Axel-
Me: you never thank me -_-
Sora: - we all hope you all review out there because we love hearing from you! And Elizabeth wants me to let you know that if you don't review, she's going to do something really horrible to Axel in the next chapter she writes (thought killing off Demyx, Zexion and Xion within two chapters was FINE! [leaving me alone with Axel in the house filled with perverts]) have a good day and have fun with it!