CHAPTA ONE CLARIFICATION/FAQ's (except they're not frequently asked but i expect they might be later on):
Question: "Marinated and tender voice?"
Answer: it's a steak reference.
Question: Cassiopeia is a constellation, not a star.
Answer: that's not a question doofus!1 can't think of exact reason, actually. i think i must've been high when i wrote that part. or, for that matter, all of the other parts as well.
Question: Why does the chapter diminish in quality as it goes on?
Answer: i stop caring and being motivated and it happens. you'll probably notice this will occur throughout the rest of the fanfiction as well :)
Question: Does the girl with the knife actually have plot relevance or did you just get bored again?
Answer: both. shakes head
Question: What was that ending?
Answer: #ScaredForLife #Lolz #GetTrooledXD
Question: What is a goff and what is a prep?
Answer: a goff is someone who wears black all the time, is a vampire, has depression, cusses a lot, worships satan, and likes goffik bands such as my chemical romance and good charlotte. they are also all slytherins (:D). prepz are the polar opposite. they are christian and exclusively wear pink polo abercrombie & fitch shirts. they are all gryffin doors. it's a reference to the greatest harry potter fanfiction of all time, "my immortal".
Clarification (basically me explaining plot in third-person omniscient):
Bullsh*t happens. Narrator thinks about ex-girlfriend Britney a lot, who apparently moved away. He cares a lot about her. He meets up with friend Jakub and they exchange "friendly" *wink wink* banter. The goffik girl slits her wrist because she is depressed and suicidal. All of the boys are jealous of Snape because he's a really hot professor. random hallway exchange because I'm too lazy to actually write plot Narrator finds out Britney's been cheating and didn't move away at all.
CHAPTA TOW CLARIFICATION/FAQ's (except they're not frequently asked but i expect they might be later on):
Question: What the heck did I just read?
Answer: the meaning of life.
Question: Why did Jakub have to die so quickly, literally two chapters into the fanfiction, in a single paragraph?
Answer: harry potter had two deaths before the first chapter even started. ;-; this fanfiction is based on harry potter, if you didn't notice, and i chose to reflect the quick death.
Question: What is wrong with the narrator?
Answer: i created him, for one.
Question: Why is the chapter title "I try to Avenge Jakub" when all he did was try to have sex with a store clerk?
Answer: think about it. jakub died while trying to rape the narrator, so the narrator decided to have revenge by raping the guy who killed jakub while he was trying to rape the narrator. also this is rated Teen, so if you think this is inappropriate, den get da hell outta here!
Question: Why did you update when you only got two good reviows, and one of them was your own?
Answer: i don't actually care about getting good reviows. i have a timeless passion for writing, man!
Clarification (basically me explaining plot in third-person omniscient):
We find out that narrator, despite being a prep, actually has a belly button. This detail may seem stupid but it might come into handy later ya never know *wink wink*. Narrator thinks Jakub is being a troll when he's serious, so doesn't think that he's special. This detail will also come into play later… maybe. Jakub is revealed to be homosexual, but I get tired of his homosexuality quickly and kill him off using the store clerk because I don't actually care. I'm not sure what character to give the store clerk, so I use a random adjective generator from Google and created a homophobic, cruel, full-of-himself, fearless, and wooden(?) persona for him. I finally give in to using the word "passion" despite my strong willpower opposing this decision. I then try to use misdirection to make reader think that the narrator is trying to murder the clerk when in fact he is trying to lose his virginity to him, but it probably didn't work. Who knows, I'm not the reader.