Take the Fight out of the Kid
Chapter Thirteen
'Hold that mortals thread of life, good and tight.'- Fates from Hercules
The overwhelming blackness is ebbing away a bit now, and I can see what look like stars, dotting the sky in a way that makes me think of all those sappy movies I've always envied… the kind where the protagonist finally gets home, when the inspirational, motivation song of the character starts to play and the crowd tears up in happiness for them.
"Roxas, I'm begging you… come with me, and I'll bring you to Axel. He's not dead, I know where he is!" Riku's voice reaches me but I still cant see anything but the stars, so why bother turning my head? It's not like anything I do now will make a difference as it is.
I miss my Mum, I miss my Dad… god, I miss the life I had. Seeing Lilly just affirmed that I have very little to live for now. Roxas doesn't remember me, Sora will be fine because I wont be there to 'inspire rebellion' and my dogs would be just fine. Sora will probably get them if he asked.
"Axel's gone… you cant take me to him because he's dead Riku!" the stars turn into the same unmoving lights and I can see the well known figure of Riku and Roxas standing side by side, Riku towering over Roxas just slightly and grabbing the blondes upper arm.
"Roxas… I'm begging you: listen to me- for once just listen to me! He wants to see you again. I told you to go to that Boggle because it's really him! It's not some kind of hallucination because of your stupid drug induced state! That man in there was really Axel O'Riley!" my eyes are fairly wide as I watch Riku shake Roxas a little bit and as Roxas in turn closes his eyes.
"No! It's-it's not him. I know Axel! He-he had some-something on his face! He-he wasn't my Axel!"
"Roxas… they were tattoo's! you should have done what I told you and waited until you woke up the next morning to see his eyes! You always said that you could never recreate that color! You didn't wait Roxas! You had to just have a fucking smoke because you're an addict and you have a problem!"
"Don't you think I know that? I'm scared Riku… I'm scared that if it's not him again that I'm going to die of loneliness! How do you know who my Axel is? I've seen a hundred of the louts and tossers! And I'm bloody-fucking-tired of it! I've never once wanted to see anyone other then Axel and I've gotten John's and Jacob's, five Ben's and nine Henry's alone!" I can see Roxas' face and I think I'm going to start crying again just hearing that, I don't care how he dies in this dream though, I just want it to happen so I can wake up and forget all of this.
"I know it's your Axel because he remembers you! He thought you were dead and you not remembering him has crushed him. But I'm begging you, come with me to Abbotsford and give him just one more chance to prove he is the Axel you know him to be." I've never seen Riku so enraged at one point and I can see that Roxas is realizing it. "Axel wants nothing but to have you back and to get away from Xemnas… please Roxas, just come with me."
"No! I'm not going! You can't make me!" Roxas pushes Riku away and before I know it he's running away, Riku is shouting at him to come back and I'm chasing him, headed for the outskirts of town. There are tears streaming down his face and he is bumping into a few things every now and then.
I'm really hoping that this isn't what is going on right now, that these dreams are just crazy happenings of my head. But I know that cant be true, something has to be keeping me asleep and keeping me from ending this dream.
"Roxas… Roxas, can you hear me?" Roxas doesn't acknowledge me and I let out a sigh, my feet not even moving as I follow him into the woods.
Before I know it Roxas rushes off a cliff and the dream ends there, nothing but blackness for me to see and I'm stuck, I cant see anything, I cant even feel my ectoplasm-like body.
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
I sit up in my bed, sweating and tears running down my cheeks to the point where I can feel my skin tight from the salt water not being brushed away right away. My throat hurts from crying and my right leg is cramped.
Luxord is over at the small table that I keep an electric kettle, five cups and twenty pouches of hot chocolate at all times. He's mixing some boiling water in with the powder mix then he moves over to the mini fridge and pulls out a carton of cream.
I try to steel myself again, Luxord knows I have nightmares… he's always here waiting with a cup of hot chocolate for me when I wake and he asks the question once or twice, but never pushes me for details for too long. I never like showing my emotions to him, but he normally watches me in my sleep, and I've never found a way to hide my emotions in my sleep as far as I know.
"Want to talk about it tonight?" I haven't checked the time yet, I'm probably not going to check my digital clock. I shake my head to his question and he sets the mud into my left hand and I take a sip.
I'm not sure why, but Lumier and Cerberus aren't here, normally their on the bed, laying overtop of me or right beside me… being as close to me as they can- depending on if I flail during the nightmare or not.
The hot chocolate is just how I like it with the right amount of Irish cream and I take the opportunity to look around my room for Lumier and Cerberus. "Where are the dogs?" Luxord just scoffs and plops down on the bed beside me, patting my shoulder a few times before answering my question.
"They're out back. Xemnas didn't want them smothering you in your sleep apparently." he scoffs and I just run my free hand through my hair.
"Yeah well… if their not there by the time I get outside Xemnas is going to have to- shit, what day is it?"
"Relax… that's going to happen tomorrow… you've still got lots of time to prepare… I fear that it's not enough, but it's what you said you needed."
"Where is Roxas? wasn't-wasn't he in the car too?"
"No, Riku took him back to his apartment for you. Apparently he knew the way already."
"Really?" was that part of my dream coincidence or sheer dumb luck? I look over at Luxord but he's just smirking at me like he knows something I don't, and to be honest he does, because I've been sleeping for… um. I turn my head towards the alarm clock and I raise an eyebrow. One hour… that cant be right. "How long have I been out Luxord?"
"Two days. You can hop into a shower, I'll go grab your dogs and some food for you- oh, but just to warn you, Xemnas is having some sort of dinner party tonight that he's imploring you attend. Your Tuxedo has been pressed and fixed, both dogs are to be groomed as soon as you can do that and Larxine is going to come in to do your nails and hair."
"Why the hell do I have to do my nails and hair? I'm not some kind of stupid chick. My nails are clean and my hair is never changing from the style it is now. hasn't the dumb-ass figured that out yet?" of course I'm referring to Xemnas, but when do I insult someone and it's not Xemnas?
"Does it look like we share a brain Axel? I don't know why the fuck he's tanned like a younger guy but grey like the old fart he probably is." now, in all fairness to Luxord, he never used to speak like this. He always had nothing but nice things to say about Xemnas and everyone else here, but it was most likely my influence that brought on his now obvious hatred for all things that have to do with this Boggle. "I'll be back in a minute or two with your food and mutts." Luxord rolls his eyes as he walks out of the bedroom, his signature deck of cards left on the coffee table.
Lea… I haven't been called that in forever. I didn't know it was the anniversary already… this really sucks, I'd wanted to be in Ireland for it this year. I guess next year will be my target date again. Ugh… this mean that Zexion's anniversary is next week, and Demyx's in two. It's going to be their first years, god, it seems like it's already been a decade without them too.
"Yoo-hoo! Axel, look who came to see you again!" I jerk my head up as the high pitched voice comes into my room and Larxine is followed in by Jenn. My eyes go wide and I clench my jaw, she knows my distain for her older sister… we openly mock her often.
"Larxine, what's she here for… does she need another two hour boyfriend for another get together or special occasion?" I run my hand through my hair as Larxine walks towards the spotless bathroom and Jenn crawls onto my bed towards me. I skirt out of the bed as quickly as I can and decide to follow Larxine into the bathroom.
"No, mom and dad went on vacation so uncles watching us both for a week. Jenn said she wanted to see you again and it's not like I'm going to protest- despite popular belief I don't have a death wish." I let out a sigh, a week. That'll fuck everything up, how the hell am I supposed to get out if she's going to be up my ass?
"Fine. Anyhow, I was supposed to get an hour. Get out so I can get my shower."
"Awe… too shy to have another shower with me Axel?"
"I was drunk… what can I say, you look enough like a boy for my liking." I wrap my arm around the small of her back and lead her towards the door.
"Larxine… you've had sex with Axel?" I look up at the fuming Jenn and finish pushing Larxine out of the bathroom with a small peck pressed to her temple. "How dare you! He's my boyfriend!"
"Have fun Larxine." I give a wink and close the door, making sure to lock it- though the lock snaps off with a shoulder to the right spot. I want to have a drawer there that I can pull out, but because of suicide risks it's not allowed and I have to have a camera in the bathroom, pointed at the closet door that you have to pass coming in and going out so they know if your alright or not- if the cameras and surveillance was working.
The hot water feels nice for a few minutes, but as soon as I lather my hair in shampoo the water suddenly shoots ice cold water making me yelp and curse because of the contrast.
"Mother Fucking! Shit-bitch crap-knocker!" I jump to the other side of the tub and slip, sliding down the cold tile wall, cutting myself on a jutting tile and falling right into the path of the ice cold spray I was trying to get away from. "Son of a bitch-whore!" I jab my foot into the tap and let out a bit of a sigh as the water turns off so it's just on the tap and not coming down in a shower spray.
"Axel… are you alright in there?" it's Luxord and I just grind my teeth together as I hear a few barks and a whine from the other side of the door. I look down on myself as I sit up and notice that there is a fair amount of copper in the bottom of the tub, headed for the drain.
"No… I cut myself, do me a favor and-" the bathroom door is slammed against the wall and Luxord is in front of me in a minute. "It was a tile you pervert! Get out!" he's trying to pull me out of the tub but I just sink down and push at his face to get him out. "I was asking you to get the first aid kit set up for me you asshole! I'm not trying to kill myself!"
"What the hell are you bleeding for then?"
"I slipped, I fell, shit happens. Now get out!" Luxord gets up with a huff, his eyes closed as he stalks out of the bathroom, leaving me with Lumier and Cerberus sitting on the floor, looking at me as I just sit in the tub. I'm not sure if the water is at a safe temperature to turn on yet or not, but I really don't think I want to find out… I have shampoo in my hair though and it's making the fresh cut in my back sting like a bitch.
I crawl to my knees and feel at the water as it comes out of the still running tap, it's still ice cold to the touch and I know I'm going to get an instant brain freeze… but apparently the giant house has finally run out of hot water, so I'm shit-outta-luck. Gotta love being a kicker, the perks are simply to die for: men and women throwing themselves at you, forcing you to do sexual shit you don't want to do, having to learn to just bare whatever they throw at you, teach yourself to do the basic shit that no one knows, having to put up so many emotional barriers that you'll never see anyone as innocent ever again. Yeah, it's fun to be one of us.
"Go to bed." Lumier gives me a bit of a glare but goes back into my bedroom anyhow, quickly followed by Cerberus. I wince a few times as I maneuver myself so my head is under the tap and I was right: instant brain freeze. I quickly wash the shampoo out of my hair, making sure to get it off my scalp so it's not itchy and I quickly let some water run down my back to start cleaning the cut.
I don't even bother with a towel as I walk into the bedroom since I felt the cut and it's about as long as my spine- just thankfully not touching my spine. I grind my teeth together a bit as I see Larxine and Jenn are still in the room, but I walk over to my bed where Lumier and Cerberus have managed to herd the two girls away from with growls and barks.
"So how did this happen Axel?"
"I slipped, nothing too extravagant. I think my door and wall are more hurt then me."
"Don't be too sure… this cut's pretty deep Axel. Could you have dug your shoulder into it anymore?"
"Probably, I was trying to stop myself you know." I try and roll my right shoulder but the muscles protest and I cant move more then a few inches on that side.
"Don't move you idiot! You'll just reopen the wound." Luxord hits me on my head and I grind my teeth together a few times while Luxord grabs out the correct solution and gauze that'll wrap my entire chest for a day or two.
"Your such an asshole Axel. You're an idiot really… hurting yourself like that. You deserve better Axel." Jenn stands up and starts climbing onto the bed. Both Lumier and Cerberus get up and block her path though.
I hiss a bit and they both sit down, still not letting her any closer to me. I turn a bit as I look at Luxord to see if I need to be kind to her. He shakes his head as he applies more cooling lotion to my back, getting it into the cut so it'll heal nicer then it normally would.
"Jenn… get out of my room, now." I turn to her and watch as her jaw drops. "I can have the dogs chase you out… but I don't think you'd like that very much. So leave."
"B-but Axel. I'm Jenn… you love me."
"No, you want me to love you. But it's called acting, I'm pretty good at it, aren't I?" I give her a bit of a smirk before I turn to Larxine, seeing the wide smile spread across her pale face.
"You know Axel… you still have to go to the dinner party Xemnas is throwing."
"How is he going to have a dinner party with the power off?"
"Vexen will have it back up within the hour. As soon as I bandage you Larxine will do your makeup and we'll help you get dressed. Those who have been your most respected clients will be here tonight- those who are still alive -and Riku will be here as well, he's bought Sora's night, but because of your more… recent reputation. No one wanted to risk buying your night so you'll dance with whoever asks."
"Actually that's changed. The whiny bitch that always wears white bought him half an hour ago." Larxine chooses now to tell me? Oh well, at least I'm not walking out the door ready to be molested by hundreds of perverts before I know.
"Thanks for letting me know Larxie… any other tidbit of information you want to give me or I should know?"
"Yeah, her highest competition was those two guys that always came in with Usla… what were their names again?" I shiver and it hurts my back like hell, I remember them. They'd basically raped me when Ursla passed out, unfortunately she'd paid so much fucking money that Luxord could do nothing to get me out of that situation, I wasn't able to sit right for three fucking weeks because of those bastards.
"Flotsam and Jetsam… fucking bitch-shits. What are they, her kids or something?" they've wanted to get their hands on me since Ursla died- which is really mean because she's one person that I didn't kill. I mean, sure I had it all planned out- but she had the fucking heart attack! How could I have caused that- well I know how I could have caused it, but it's not like I planned for it to happen.
"I have no idea. You just better be nice to her because she forked out more then three birthday allowances for Jenn and more then what the two of them were combining." I turn my head in Larxines direction and give her a bit of a smile.
"Now love… when am I ever unkind. Even you know how sweet I can be." it was sadistic I knew, always bringing up the past that consisted of both of us three sheets to the wind and a soft patch of grass out on the compound grounds under a fairly low hanging willow tree. If it hadn't been Larxine, and if we hadn't been drunk it would have been a nice night and really romantic- but it was and we were, so it's all really just a blur- just how I like my sex.
"Shut up you big palooka, I'd rather rip your-"
"Alright… how many times have I told you to not threaten him Larxine? I cant have a eunuch working for me- well I could, but he wouldn't bring in nearly as much money." Xemnas walks into the room and pats both Larxine and Jenn on their heads before even look up at me and his eyes instantly fall into a glare and I'm their target.
"What, the fuck… happened?" he's pissed as shit- I can understand why since I'm pretty pissed myself -and it looks like he's about to throw me down in the basement.
"I slipped in the shower- because the hot water suddenly went off mind you -and I hit my back on that stupid peninsular tile, I ripped up half my back thanks to that. And it really sucks, because I told you about it two months ago." Luxord unrolled a bit of gauze padding, placing it on the gash before cutting the correct amount. It was extremely thin and flexible, and it didn't absorb the medicine as much as gauze usually did.
"Do you really expect me to believe that?"
"Yeah, go in and look at the tile for yourself… 's got enough of my blood on it for you to figure it out." his eyes narrow further and he stalks into the bathroom as Luxord starts with the wrap that'll cover basically my entire torso.
"It's likely you'll have a scar Axel… unless I can get some other form of ointment on it now."
"He does not scar… put whatever the hell you have to on it, but do not let him scar Luxord. His body's already getting unwanted because of those horrid things marring his face.
"Hey, I like it, and customers think I'm sexy because I've got tattoo's. It works out best for everyone so don't give me none of that 'undesirable' shit you old fart." Xemnas' glare hardens and he walks over, grabbing my chin in his right hand and pulls me so I'm half sitting and half standing, forcing the new cut on my back to stretch.
"Call me old again Axel. I fucking dare you… you wouldn't live another two minutes after."
"Alright. Old. Man." most kickers would be horrified with that threat, I've seen him beat kickers so their an inch from death. But he wont do it to me. I'm too valuable to him and he cant do it.
He raises his hand and I know he's slapped me before I feel the sting, I just turn back to him and give a glare of my own, this isn't uncommon for him to 'assert his authority' as he calls it afterwards. He'll never touch me sexually, just beat me until I'm black and blue in all the right places so it's never seen by clothes.
"Luxord… do me a favor and take Larxine and Jenn down to their room so they can get dressed will you? Oh, and take the mutts with you too." Luxord lets out a sigh and stops what he's doing. I am so sick of this happening and I swear to god if my back wasn't killing me like it is I would kill him tonight as soon as that door closes. I'm sure that I can do it, it'll hurt, but I'd be able to if my back is better.
Luxord leaves my bandages and he follows Larxine and Jenn out of the room, motioning for Lumier and Cerberus to follow as Xemnas paces back and forth, cracking his knuckles and rolling his shoulders. As soon as the door closes he stalks over and I get another slap to my other cheek this time before pinning me to the bed by my neck, forcing my back into the several supplies Luxord left out on the bed, including the fist aid kit.
"I am so fucking sick of you! Do you think your some kind of god? Because I can prove right now that you're nothing but worthless, to me and to this Boggle. You think I cant find another red head- you think I cant MAKE another red head?"
"Not one like me. Who d'you know tha's got an'Irish drawl like me? Think ye could find 'nother kid tha' can glare like me and make it look sexy? Who are you going to find to keep your dirty little secrets hidden Xemnas? Most people would jump at the opportunity to squeal, but I know so many." I can see the shock and just smirk even though he tightens his grip on my throat.
"Then you'd be smart to keep your mouth shut, Axel." he half climbs onto the bed above me so his face can be closer to mine and I see his lips pulling into a smile as he uses his second hand to balance himself, pushing my back further into the first aid kit and forcing the open wound further open. "Or should I say… Lea."
My eyes go wide and his smirk only grows. "How many people know?"
"Just me… Xigbar told me a while ago. I've been debating on spreading the word, but why the hell would I want a pissed bitch working for me? Besides, Axel has so much more… spark." he lets the hand he's using to help stable himself trail up and down my torso, making me shiver. I've never felt his hands on me before and I hate the feeling. He's so cold and ice-like that it feels like his fingers are made of ice like swan sculptures and their leaving water in their path on my skin.
Anger is passed it's boiling point in my mind and I refuse to let him know that he's beaten me. Knowing my name, the name I've never shared with anyone, the name I've kept a closely guarded secret since I was four and thought it sounded like a girls name. If Xemnas knows that, I cant let him live… even if it means making my plans blow up while shit hit's the fan.
I jab my knee upwards and hit him right where it hurts. The movement opens the wound in my back further but I block out the pain as he doubles over and I send my right hand up into his face. His neck turns to an impossibly far angle, but he's not dead and I glare as he pushes my back down harder against the bed.
My leg wraps around one of his and I flip him over, both my hands on his neck, my just slightly longer arms giving my grip the upper hand as I strangle him, ignoring the kicks he's making to my back and his own hands digging into my neck. His grip isn't around my wind pipe though, just around my voice box, and he's not even strong enough to crush that.
His hands leave my neck and for a moment I think he's dead until his claw like fingernails dig into my back, forcing me to grit my teeth as he hisses, trying to speak.
It's taking too long, die, DIE ALREADY! I squeeze my fingers tighter and watch as his eyes go impossibly wide. His arms are loosing strength as he digs into my wound and even the feel of him inside my wound is invasive to the point where I would probably die of sickness if he had ever touched me sexually. He looks like nothing but a helpless man as his eyes finally close and his arms loose all their strength and he's just laying down on the bed under me, my arms still around his neck and a reddish line where my fingers have let up slightly. I don't want to have even the slightest possibility that he's alive, so I grab his chin and the back of his head. Jerking both my arms I hear the snap and twist his head some more for good measure.
I'm panting and I didn't even realize it, he's dead… oh god, he's dead! This wasn't part of my plan, I wasn't supposed to kill him with a house full of people downstairs he's supposed to be entertaining! What the hell have I done? I get off of him and stumble to the other side of my room, only remembering the huge gash in my back as I stumble into the wall and most likely leave a bloody print here.
"Axel, is everything alright- oh shit. What happened?" Luxord comes into the room and pushes his back against the door when he sees Xemnas on the bed. It takes him a moment for his eyes to fall on me and I must look wild because he's approaching slowly now. "Axel, what the hell happened? Why'd you kill him tonight?"
"It-it doesn't matter. Get Riku in here and help me h-hide him. The plan is being bumped to tonight." his eyes go fairly wide and he openes his mouth to argue, but I really don't feel like a debate right now. "Luxord… how long do you think we could hide him? It's not going to work unless we do it tonight. And if they find out I did it, I'll never get Sora out and away from Saïx, I'll never be free because they'll kill me!" my voice doesn't rise to a yell, but I want it to, oh do I ever want to.
"Axel, this isn't sensible. What the hell did he do that made you kill him."
"I don't want to talk about it. Can you just help me move him?" I push off from the wall and groan as the part of the wall I'd hit has made my bloodied back stick to it slightly and it hurts like hell.
"Fuck Axel your back looks like hamburger. What the fuck-"
"I'm not telling you what happened! Now help me Luxord!"
"Fine, but I'm bandaging your back first, and your not to do any heavy lifting. Just… sit on the couch until I come back." I nod my head in agreement and grind my teeth together as I pull my hair over my shoulder so it's not agitating my back.
I can't help but keep looking over at Xemnas, it's so odd looking at him, dead. I want to know what is going on, and I want to know what's happening- what's been happening.
My body starts to rock back and forth as I go through how the night will play out and every possibility there is for me and Sora getting out alive and safe. In every scenario my brain runs through I end up dead and Sora ends up stuck here on his own, unable to see anyone who can give him comfort and a twenty four hour watch inhibiting suicide.
I think I'm starting to shake, oh god… I've finally lost it. Dreams where Lilly is talking to me, killing Xemnas, I've fuck up, royally I've fucked up. What am I going to do if I don't get Sora and I out? If we both die and Roxas is lost to ND forever, god… me doing this is going to kill myself and possibly everyone I care about!
"Axel… I'm going to start wrapping your back now." Luxord's back already? Wow… I guess my brain is farther gone then I thought. I look up and see Riku sitting Sora down in the chair facing away from the bed. The brunette's eyes are pretty wide and I can see that he doesn't want to look at me in the slightest. Riku grabs the medical supplies off the bed, not caring if he jars the body or not and hands the stuff off to Luxord before moving back over to the bed and starting to wrap Xemnas' body in my bed sheet.
"W-we have to leave tonight Riku. There is no other option."
"I know. As soon as we get him wrapped and hidden I'll leave to get Roxas. Are we still meeting in Chilliwack, or Abbotsford?" I don't know the answer, I don't know if I care anymore. I just know that I need to know if something happens that's super important.
AN:
Me: alright… that wasn't really planned- before hand at least. But I find winging it seems to make the stories a little more interesting.
Axel: wow… you basically made me out to be catatonic. Thanks (Can you hear the sarcasm?)
Roxas: I'm not really in this one. And what was up with those dreams?
Me: whatever Roxas.
Axel: Elizabeth as also decided that she will not be switching to Roxas' point of view unless needed for later plot bunnies that tie into this story.
Roxas: I want to be in this fic! Elizabeth… give me lines, give me scenes! Put me into this fic!
Me: I can do whatever I want Roxas. I could kill you off and put Axel with whoever. You're just lucky I'm a sucker for Akuroku or you'd already be gone.
Axel: she wouldn't really do that to Roxas… he's just getting upset because he's not in the fic a lot yet and it's 13 chapters in.
Gaara: thank you for reading and we hope to hear what you think of it. We all love hearing what you have to say. Constructive criticism is welcomed but flames are mean.
Sora: have a good day and make a mess of everything!