Chapter 20

Christian PoV

How many days had it been? Five? Six? Hadn't she eaten in all that time? Flynn was with her; he should have ensured she was eating. She had to have lost six or seven pounds, and she was already rather slender. I could knee him in the balls all over again for not ensuring she was properly cared for in my absence.

My shoulder hurt like hell, but I didn't care. I couldn't be away from her for another minute. I needed Anastasia like I needed air to breathe. Perhaps even more. Without her, I couldn't breathe, couldn't see, or think. She was my everything, and that scared the ever loving hell out of me.

What would I do if anything ever happened to her? I was faced with that reality when Hyde made his ill-conceived attack on Steele Designs. I died a thousand deaths that day. There's no telling what was going on in my head when I convinced Anita to go back up the stairs with me to the lobby.

"This isn't right," Anita said. "I should be helping her, not running away." She released me from her iron grip and I relaxed minutely.

"Agreed, Anita," I replied. "So what do we do about it?"

"I have a hand gun in my car," she answered. My eyebrows shot up. "A girl has to protect herself. Ana nearly insisted upon it after I was almost mugged one night leaving the office late."

I followed her to her car where she retrieved the gun from a concealed case in the boot of the car. It was a small Walther p-22, but very effective. She quickly loaded the clip and handed it to me. I was strictly anti-gun, but I'd taken gun-safety classes and learned to shoot. Just in case the situation ever arose. Like today for instance.

"Your hair is nearly the same color as Ana's. Hyde will never know the difference. We'll go in; you'll turn around so he can't see your face. That should provide enough of a distraction that Ana can follow through with whatever plan she had in that duffel bag." Anita agreed with my plan and we ascended the stairs back into the lobby as quietly as possible.

I called out to Hyde knowing Ana was hiding behind a wall on the other side of the room. Kate and Ethan were standing only a few feet away from Hyde, both strapped with more explosives than I'd ever seen before. When he turned, my whole world shifted. Again. I knew this man needed to die, and he needed to die soon.

Staring into the face of Ana's rapist was unsettling to put it mildly. He was too familiar for words, but I couldn't place it. Perhaps because I'd poured over photos of him last two days he just seemed like someone I'd known for a long time. But there was something else there. Something about the shade of his hair and the line of his jaw that struck a nerve within.

When the bullet hit me, I was too stunned to even notice the pain. I watched as the arrow went straight through his carotid; Ana was an excellent shot.

"Christian…" Ana's voice called out. "Christian, baby." I opened my eyes, realizing we were standing in her kitchen. She was at the stove stirring a pot of noodles. "Where'd you go?" she asked.

"I think I was having a flashback," I answered. "I'm sorry."

She smiled at me, but it didn't reach her eyes. I wondered when we'd be fully happy again. Now that Hyde was dead, could things go back to normal? What was normal? I'd known this woman exactly two weeks today… We hadn't had a normal day since we met.

As she cooked the pasta, Flynn picked himself up off the foyer and staggered into the room. Ana turned the burner off, drained the pasta, rinsed it and plated it before speaking to the still injured shrink. "Doctor Flynn, I'm sorry I kicked you, but you must understand that Christian and I cannot be separated like that. Not against our will. It's one thing if we voluntarily spend time apart, but not if someone is forcing us to do so. It goes against every instinct I have, and I'm sure Christian agrees." She glanced at me briefly to check; I nodded. "I get that we have a borderline unhealthy dependence on each other, but as you're well aware, we've both just gone through some major trauma and drama. He is the only one that understands what I'm going through. I need him and he needs me."

"I understand that now, Ana. Thank you," Flynn replied sardonically. "I will suggest that the two of you do attempt to spend some time apart here and there. Perhaps my method was a bit extreme, and of course hindsight is twenty-twenty."

"Indeed," Ana replied. "If you're recovered, you can see yourself out." Flynn nodded and hobbled out the door. I wondered if either of us would ever be seeing him again. I know after he brought all her demons into our therapy session that day, and then with the house-arrest and forced separation, I was in no hurry to return to therapy sessions with him, and I very much doubted that Ana would be either.

"Shall we eat?" I asked as I carried one plate to the table. My injured arm was still in a sling and a cast, so I couldn't use it much. She nodded and helped carry the rest of the meal to the table. We sat and ate silently, both of us gorging ourselves on large portions of pasta with the meat sauce.

"What about Mrs. Jones?" she asked. What an odd question.

"What about her?"

"Well, you said you were having all your belongings moved here, which indicates you're moving in with me. I do all the cooking here, and I already have a housekeeper. So I'd hate for her to be out of a job because you fell in love with someone."

"She's in a relationship with Taylor," I answered. "So she doesn't need the job, financially anyway. And I'm not selling the apartment. Taylor and Gail can have it."

"What about the play room?" she asked.

"Most of the items have already been disposed of," I told her. "What I felt like keeping will be put into storage. Taylor and Gail can redecorate the room as a bedroom if they like." I didn't want to make any assumptions that Ana would ever want to do anything involving BDSM. Even though she'd had that dream about it the night before she made the "I LOVE YOU TOO" pancakes. I had no need to punish her, didn't even feel the compulsion, but playing could be fun. When and if she was ready.

We finished our food, cleaned up the kitchen, and retired into her bedroom for a much needed siesta. As much as I wanted to ravish her, christening her bed, I was in no physical condition for sex. It saddened me deeply, but it would be a few more weeks before I could do much of anything.

I hadn't taken the time to really notice her bedroom before. It was magnificent. The walls were all a deep shade of blue, almost black. Normally such a dark shade would make a room seem small, but it was still cavernous. In the middle of the room against the far wall stood a large four-poster canopy bed. She had thick dark blue curtains all around it. Various constellations were embroidered on the fabric, giving it the illusion of being the night sky.

She pulled back the curtain and I noticed the sheets were a sky blue. Night on the outside, day on the inside. "Lovely bedroom," I told her. The last time we were here, it was dark and the lights were off. And in the morning, all hell broke loose. I hadn't the chance to really take in the surroundings.

"Thanks," she replied. "Kate decorated it. I wanted something to do with the night sky, so she went to town. She did the embroidery on the curtains herself."

"She's got a gift. It runs in the family." Ana blushed and shrugged in response. She was never quick to compliment herself, only others.

"There are photos of this room in one of our catalogs," she went on. "At least three of our clients have requested it specifically."

"Who took the photos?" I asked. I wanted to know who was in her bedroom, taking photos. It irked me, thinking about another man in this room besides me.

"Our photographer, José Rodriguez," she answered. "He's been a friend of mine for a long time. Our dads were in the military together." She watched as my expression darkened. "He took the photos right after Kate finished decorating the room. I hadn't even moved into it yet," she continued. "Clearly you're having some kind of fit regarding the photographer. I wonder if I'd said that the photographer's name was Josie instead of José, that you'd be as upset.

"Christian, you can't be jealous. You can't get mad. There's no reason for you to be jealous. I've never given any man the time of day before you. Regardless of how many times I've been asked out by anyone, the first and only time I've ever said yes is when you asked me out."

"Did José ever ask you out?" I asked.

She rolled her eyes at me. Actually rolled her eyes! "Yes, Christian. He has. Several times over the years. But as I said, I've never given any man the time of day. Until you. You are it for me. I don't even notice other men. For the longest time I thought I was completely asexual, as I was never even attracted to anyone. Not a man, not a woman, no one. Until you, Christian Grey.

"José is a brilliant photographer. Even the simple task of taking photos of a room or a building for our design catalog, he manages to make it art. Outside of Steele Designs, he does do artistic photography. Many of the photos in my house are his work. He's a friend of mine Christian. One of the few friends I actually have. And I won't have you getting jealous or making me feel guilty for having a friend."

"I'm sorry, Ana," I replied, sheepishly. "I guess my old ways are coming out a bit. I just can't stand the thought of you with another man. It hurts."

"I'll never be with another man, Christian. I meant it when I said you're it for me. I don't even remember the last time I saw José, actually. He left on a trip to Peru a few weeks back. Part vacation part work. He was commissioned to do some photos of Machu Picchu for a travel catalog and some other things, I think."

I left the subject to rest at that point. There was no need to get me all worked up, well, more worked up than I already was. I'd have to trust Ana. I did trust her implicitly. But I still couldn't shake the idea of another man being in this room. Even if she wasn't here. Even if it was before she even moved in, the idea just bothered me. Especially when I know the man was attracted to her.

Ana PoV

I was distracting Christian with thoughts of José. I knew he'd be jealous. I knew he'd go overboard with his feelings about it. And while I knew all that, I did it anyway. I'd rather have him distracted with those ideas than with trying to pry information out of me about Hyde. I wasn't ready to tell him yet.

We'd just been reunited after a five day forced separation. I wasn't about to bring the walls down again by telling him that Hyde was his biological father. It was too much information.

Christian pulled me up against him, wrapping his good arm around me. I rested my head against his shoulder and draped my arm around his waist. I stared at the bandage on his other shoulder. I caused that. It was my fault. While I knew Jack Hyde was the one who pulled the trigger, it all boiled down to me.

I should have locked Christian in my office or something. Anything to keep him away from Hyde. But I also had to prepare for the idea that Hyde was successful in blowing up the building. I couldn't have Christian die that way. I just couldn't. So I tried to get him as far away from the building as possible. Try being the operative word.

Then Hyde had to go and drop the proverbial bomb on me. He was Christian's biological father. While I took biology with a grain of salt, I knew Christian would see it differently. There was really no easy way to say it. I'd gone over it in my head a thousand times, and never got it right. But I had to tell Christian soon. Or it would drive a wedge between us, and I couldn't have that.

Our relationship was so new, and so intense. There were so many emotions to work through. My head was still spinning from our first kiss, and then it was sent completely out of orbit with every new thing that happened since we met. I couldn't deny that our connection was related to fate. With everything happening only being testament to the strength of our connection.

Finding out that Elena, Christian's childhood molester, was my biological grandmother didn't make me love him any less. It may have made me hate her even more, but it had no negative affect on my feelings for him. And then learning that Hyde, my childhood molester, is related biologically to Christian, also doesn't make me love him any less. The only negative reaction there is worry about how Christian will feel about it.

As I lay across his chest, I worked through all of these thoughts. He was fast asleep, snoring softly. It was probably the best sleep he had since waking up from surgery. Sleep that wasn't medicine induced, anyway. My mind was reeling much too fast to consider sleeping, despite how exhausted I was.

Absently, I began swirling the bronze curls on his chest. He had just the right amount of hair there. Not enough to be considered a relative of an orangutan, but just enough to run my fingers through. He was the epitome of sexy. Even though I never paid any other man any attention, I knew he was a god among mere mortals.

"Hey," he whispered. "Did you sleep at all?"

"No, I was thinking too much," I admitted.

"Not about the José thing, I hope," he replied.

"Not exactly, no. Well I did at first, but then my thoughts took a different turn." I lifted my head to look into his eyes and gauge his reaction.

"Okay, do you want to talk about it?" he asked.

"Want to? No. I wish I never had to bring it up, because I wish it wasn't true. But I need to tell you." I could see the panic in his eyes, I needed to get this off my chest though, and deal with the fallout.

"What is it, baby? You know you can tell me anything. Nothing would change how I feel about you."

"I know that. And it isn't your love for me that I'm worried about," I replied. "I don't want you to think that this will change how I feel about you, because it doesn't. Not even a little bit."

"Please just tell me what it is, Ana. Before I jump to all the wrong conclusions," he pleaded.

"I'm very certain that any conclusion you could jump to wouldn't even be close to what it is." His eyes went wide. "The other day, the day I've dubbed Hyde-gate, he said something to me on the phone that caused concern."

"What did he say?"

"Well, he made a reference to bringing his family back together, and that included you. After he died, I asked the Captain if he would run a DNA analysis for me."

"He's not your father, is he?" Christian asked, worried. That would have been a whole lot of other issues if that were true, too. Thankfully, I knew otherwise. He didn't come into my mother's life until after I was born, thank god. Though he could have been Kate or Ethan's father potentially. I doubted it, though.

"No, he's not my father, Christian."

"What do you mean he's not your father? Whose father is he?"

Rather than saying the words out loud, I reached over him and into my night stand. I'd folded up the DNA results and put them there on the night I came back from the hospital. I unfolded the paper slowly and handed it to him, trying to keep my fingers from shaking.

Christian stared at the paper for a few seconds before speaking. "DNA results for Jack Hyde and… Christian Grey." He looked up at me, complete horror in his eyes. "He's my father?"

"He's my father? He's my father! He's my father!?" He kept repeating the phrase, emphasizing a different word each time.

"Yes, Christian. I'm so sorry, baby. I didn't know how to tell you. Hyde said you were his son, and I didn't want to believe him. I did the DNA test to be sure, before I told you what he said to me. And of course it confirmed it. But Christian, listen to me. DNA is nothing. All he did was provide you with half of your physical traits. Everything else about you is yours alone."

Christian began breathing faster and faster; he was hyperventilating. I begged him to calm down, tried to pull him in my arms to comfort me, but he pushed me away. "How can you want anything to do with me? I'm that monster's offspring!"

"Christian, I love you! I told you it wouldn't affect how I feel about you."

"How can it not, Ana? I'm the spitting image of him! How can you look at me and not see him?" His breathing came faster and harsher; he started swaying back and forth until he collapsed against the pillows, completely passed out.