She was right, they had squeezed the life out of her with hugs and had lectured her until she felt her ears were going to fall off. Her mother and her sister made quite the pair; all that was missing was Carver to call her an idiot. She sighed, she felt that hole in her heart just as her mother and sister did though she tried not to show it. The things of her nightmares were the scene where Carver was smashed to the ground repeatedly by the Ogre. It seemed to loop in her dreams, always making her wake up in a sweat. She awoke this time to slide out of the top bunk of her bed, landing with a light thud in front of Bethany's bed. She rolled over, mumbling something incoherent in her sleep as Hawke slid her armor back on. It was early, and she was swore from last night but there were jobs still to do. She wouldn't be able to visit Varric until mid-day. Varric always slept too late in her opinion, but he stayed up all night so the time evened out she assumed., in some way she didn't quite understand.

When her blades were at her hips and her boots on tightly she went to check the writing desk. The mail was piling up; her old employers wanting her to help them smuggle some more, some rescue missions, some missions to just go and retrieve herbs from spider infested areas. None of these appealed to her, but she would go and see her old employer. She had always paid well, and since she was no longer her slave she paid well enough. She wasn't that far from her goal to pay for the Deep Road expedition. Bethany would be angry she left without her again but she loved her alone time. In all truth, it was to protect Bethany. She still felt guilty for Carver's death, and if anything happened to Bethany…

She shook her head as she walked out of the rundown shack that she called home. She got to the docks and looked around for the elven smuggler. She had to admit that she was beautiful for a woman that ran the largest smuggling operation in Kirkwall, but more she was probably the most cunning woman she'd come across, herself not included. She saw another elf instead of the one she was looking for though, it was that Fenris man. She narrowed her eyes suspiciously, had he known she was coming here? This city wasn't that small to run into people she had just worked for the night before. He was looking around , looking for something.. someone rather. When his eyes met hers he walked over.

"Hawke." Such a simple greeting for such a complex man she thought.

"Fenris." She put her hands in her pockets to study him, taking a relaxed stance to make him feel less on edge. She wondered if he always looked so tense, or if it was just when he was around her.

"I owe you for last night."

"Don't worry about it." She didn't truly care about the gold, she felt better in the effect that she had helped him escape from going back into slavery.

He raised an eyebrow at her, he seemed curious about her answers. "You truly don't care if I pay you?"

"No… Not truly. I have enough jobs lined up on my door. I should have told you to wait your turn in line." She laughed trying to ease her words, she bordered on insensitive in her humorous remarks, she felt laughing always softened whatever someone might take as offensive.

"How noble. I never expected you to be so… genuine of a person. I had always assumed what I heard about you were just stories."

"Oh, there are stories about me now? I'm flattered."

"Not all of them are good."

She smirked at him as his mood darkened. "I assure you they quite deserved it." She brushed her pants off, feeling nervous under his stare. He was such an attractive man, and his eyes held such a stern judgment when they looked at her. "I know you didn't come all the way to the docks to just offer me my payment. It seems a large walk for you."

He shrugged looking away from her as he talked. "I owe you. I figured I would lend you my services if you would take them. I heard you wanted to go into the Deep Roads and I thought you could use my help." He rubbed the back of his head, he sounded so awkward and unsure of himself.

"If that is what you want.. You can come and meet the others tonight at the Hanged Man. We usually meet up once a week anyways." She heard the bells chime the hour and she cursed lightly under her breath. "I'm late to meet my next contract… Athenril is going to be furious with me." She rushed past him, leaving him to look at her form as she raced off.

He stood there puzzled. He hated that he had been dragged into some social event. He hated crowds, he hated strangers. She was a natural leader. She oozed charisma and confidence and she was so… warm hearted. She didn't even blink an eye when he asked her to go after Danarius with him. She saw things so black and white, good or bad, right or wrong… and she put her everything into it. He never thought she would be so beautiful either. Anso hadn't told him that she was a beautiful, vibrant woman… but I guess he didn't need that for the job he had asked Anso to find him a person for.