Take the Fight out of the Kid
Chapter Eighteen
'Believe those who are seeking the truth; doubt those who find it'- Andre Gide
I let out a sigh as I roll onto my stomach, Lumier and Cerberus have decided that it's time for me to wake up by licking my face repeatedly. Lumier never really licks my face unless it's important so I just open my eyes a little and glare a bit, it doesn't stop them though and they keep it up.
"Lumier, Cerberus… leave me alone." I'm really whining more then giving them a command, but they just sit back a little and smile at me. They are such fucking trouble-makers, but I cant help but love them.
I rub my face into the cushion of the couch as I push myself up to get the slobber off. I really do need a shower, I wonder if they have any extra towels around anywhere. I hold my watch in front of my face a little and see that it's almost three in the afternoon, fuck… I need to feed these two.
The food is out in my car and I let out a sigh as I roll my shoulders and motion for them to follow me. The basement is so cold in the mornings and it's so refreshing, even in Russia the entire house was warmed by heaters so we wouldn't freeze in the middle of the night. There are four pairs of shoes at the door all lined up, I didn't even realize that I'm still in my shoes until now, damn. I run a hand through my hair as I open the front door, allowing both Lumier and Cerberus to dart out of the house and start sniffing the front lawn.
"Axel! What're you doing up so early? I thought you'd still be sleeping." I turn around, still in the doorway and see Luxord at the top of the stairs with a bright smile on his face.
"Well, I had to feed them at some point. I'm surprised they didn't start trying to eat me I've waited so long. Wanna join me?" I jab my thumb in the direction of my car and Luxord nods his head and follows me out.
I feel like I was supposed to tell him something, it might have been important, I'm not sure, but I know for sure that I was supposed to talk with him about something. "So, want me to introduce you to the neighbors if they're out?" I shrug, my main concern right now if feeding my dogs and then going to find Roxas to say good morning.
"I guess that wouldn't hurt." I just open my car door, not having bothered using the lock last night and I can see Luxords eyebrows raise, but it's not like this is a dangerous part of town, it's actually quite suburbanized. I grab out their dog bowls and scoop the right amount into each bowl right there on the lawn since they are practically jumping on me for it.
"It doesn't look like anyone's out right now, I guess they all went somewhere, they're really nice people, I'm sure you'll like them." I nod my head and take a deep breath as I hop up onto the hood of my car and rest my head back against the windshield. It doesn't feel real that I'm here, I've had so many realistic dreams that I'm just hoping this isn't one.
"Oh! There is one of the girls now! Hey Bell, come over here for a minute, I wanna introduce you to somebody!" I open my eyes and sit up. My head instantly swivels to her house, exactly where I remember it to be and sure enough, she's out front in a knee length blue dress and her chocolate brown hair tied behind her head in some kind of fashion I cant see. In short, she still looks wonderful, and healthy.
I notice her eyes go wide and before I know it she's rushing over, almost tripping over her own feet she's in such a hurry. I slide off the front of my car and catch her as she stumbles again as she's trying to stop herself from moving.
"Bell, what're you rushing for?" her eyes are still wide and I help her get her balance again so she can stand on her own.
"A-Axel… oh god. It's you! I'm so happy!" she lunges at me and wraps her arms around my neck in a tight hug. "We-we all thought you died too!" I can feel that my shirts getting slightly wet where her face is and I let out a sigh as I wrap my arms around her to return the hug.
"Uh, yeah… it's a long story Bell. Do the others still live here too?" she nods her head and I pat her head a bit to try and calm her down since she's crying somewhat like a child. "Do you want to go get them? I'll make us all some of my moms famous cookies if you do."
"Oh god… I've tried but I still cant make them the way she did." of course none of them knew how to make them, they were MY moms. "Are-are you really here?"
"Everyone seems to be thinking that recently. Yes, I'm really here." she breaks the hug and takes a step back, drying the tears from her eyes with a smile on her face and she's shaking her head a bit.
"Y-yeah, I'll go get them. Oh god… I-I don't know what to say… I have to go tell Beast!" she gives a smile and turns back towards her house, running inside I instantly pick up the sound of Bell calling through the house.
"I'm going to go find Roxas now. Lumier, Cerberus… come." both dogs have finished their food as it is so I lead them into the house, up the stairs and through the kitchen before opening the back door for them. I keep my eyes away from the spot where my father and Lilly had been. I don't really want to move over that spot so I once again skirt around the spot where I know he was laying.
"How are you going to make cookies Axel? Do you have enough supplies to make them? Do you even know what we have in the kitchen?"
"Do we have flour?"
"Yes."
"Do we have sugar?"
"Yes."
"Do we have vanilla?"
"Yes."
"Then as long as none of you have gone snooping around my house to the point of ripping it apart, we have enough." Luxord just raises an eyebrow and I smile as I leave the kitchen and head back down to the old playroom that I slept in last night. I walk over to what most people take for the electricity box and open it, revealing an airtight box that has a fair supply of various chocolate kinds that my mom used to make by hand- the reason her cookies were so good. She taught me how to make it, and I'll defiantly get into that once I settle in a bit, maybe start up a job of it and sell it in town like she used to.
I grab enough chocolate and sweets for a large batch of cookies before closing the wood covered door again and making my way back up into the kitchen. "Do me a favor and preheat the oven to 350 please Luxord." Luxord nods his head and turns the dial on the oven.
It doesn't take long to get the cookies made with the amounts I had memorized years ago. Pinches and dashes, scoops and handfuls. The cookies are in the oven and are ready to come out in a few minutes by the time the doorbell rings. I can hear the girls all outside the door, talking to one another like they did when I was younger and they wanted me to help them do something like get a kite out of a tree, or chase away the scary dog that liked prowling around our street.
"Can you get that Luxord? I'm going to go wake up Sora and Riku."
"Uh, are you sure you should be doing that? They kinda don't sleep in their-"
"I'm not stupid. I'm just going to wake them up." I roll my eyes and go down the stairs, passing the front door knowing that they could see my silhouette through the translucent glass that borders the door.
I slip around the corner beside the bathroom and stop in front of the closed door that I know the two are behind since the only other door that wasn't to the playroom is open and no one is in there. "Riku, Sora… I'm coming in." I reach for the handle but before I can open the door it's opened for me and Sora vaults towards me from behind it.
"You really are here! I thought it was a dream!" what is everyone's problem with dreams? Is it really that hard to believe that I got some shit sorted out? Oh well.
"Yeah, I'm here. Now come upstairs, I've made some cookies and I'm having a few old friends over. You don't have to come if you don't want to, but I'd like you to." Sora and Riku both nod their heads.
I let Sora go and head back upstairs, seeing right away that the seven girls are all in my living room, a few of my old male friends with them too. "Hi guys, I'll be with you all in a minute I have to-"
"Axel!" the six other girls who hadn't already jumped on me do it now and I'm tackled to the ground as all my friends walk over and welcome me back through the throng of girls that are dog-piling me right now- something I never thought they'd do because of manners.
"Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow… I'm being crushed!" the pain in my torso right now is unbelievable. "Help me?" Luxord walks over and stands beside a few of my old friends and he's just smiling at me and shaking his head. "Common Lux… I have to go get Roxas." he just lets out a sigh and he starts tapping the girls on their shoulders.
"Axel! Why didn't you tell any of us you were alright? Why didn't you write or call? Why are you acting like you just got back from the fucking store? And why aren't you answering me?" I figured Kairi would be the worst one to deal with if I ever saw her again. In a way she was my Lilly before and after Lilly came along. I was allowed to treat her like a sister and I was allowed to call her my sister. That little girl with auburn hair, fairly short purple skirt and white tank top. She never cared about her appearance, she just loved adventure… a lot like me. I was actually playing with her in the forest that day I got lost and found the meadow.
"Kairi, I couldn't. Sorry."
"You were my big brother! How could you leave like that! I was so scared when you went missing, and now you're acting like you just got back from the forest like when you were a kid!" she's crying in my lap now and I cant help but let out a sigh. I don't know how to deal with crying people, whenever a woman cried before it was because and I quote 'my husband didn't deserve this' or 'I should go back to my boyfriend' (something of the sort like that) but never for being upset at me personally.
"Kairi, I-I don't know what you want me to say." she shakes her head and doesn't look up at all. I feel really bad and so I let out a sigh before I start rubbing her back in small circles. "I'm sorry."
"Don't apologize you dick! Just tell me why already!"
"I'll do that in a minute… I have to go wake someone up first, alright?" Kairi gets off me and goes into the living room as I stand and go into the kitchen to take the cookies out of the oven.
It's trivial and girlish, but I cant really think of waking Roxas up in a sweeter way then with a kiss and a plate of cookies for him. The batch is big enough so I put twelve on the plate incase he wants to fill himself on them or not.
To make sure that I don't walk in on him doing anything I shouldn't see I knock on the door twice and then I open it and take a step inside. I was really hoping that I'd catch Roxas before he was awake, but as I see him sitting on the window ledge, with a smoke in his hand and a smile on his face as the multi-colored smoke comes out of his mouth and wafts out the window.
"Excuse me. What the fuck do you think you're doing?" he starts a bit and he looks shocked before his eyes go dull again and he goes back to his smoke. I grind my teeth together and walk over to him, the entire room smells of the shit and it's pissed me off, I don't care what the hell he wants to do with his lungs- well I really do care -but I refuse to let him do it in my parents house. "Get this shit outta my house Roxas. I don't give a shit if you hate me and want to punish me, but respect the dead."
I snatch the smoke out of his hand after I set the cookies down on the nightstand and I turn on my heel, not bothering to listen as he curses and starts to follow me out of the room.
"Fuck Axel! Give it back! How the fucking hell can you move shit? You're just in my fucking head! Stop walking you stupid clot-pole! I want my fucking-"
"First off Roxas: I'm not in your stupid head, I'm real. Secondly: this is my house and that means my rules. Those rules are: no smoking drugs, no drugs period! Thirdly: I refuse to allow you to keep going down this path while I'm around. I'm sorry that I wasn't there, I'm sorry that I thought giving you all the money in the world so you could make good with your life would have been a good thing. I made a mistake and I screwed up both our lives. I get it, I deserve to die and you deserve to throw me into a burning pit. But I will not let that happen until you know I'm sorry and no longer think I'm part of your own fucking head!" I don't know why I'm suddenly so angered at him, but I cant just let him do that in their house.
"Axel! Stop being a fucking dick and give it-"
"Stop doing that! Listen Roxas, I don't care. I'm sorry and I cant say that enough!" I crumble the smoke in my hand, feeling the embers at the end burn my hand a little before they snuff out completely and I'm left standing at the top of the stairs, my neighbors all in the living room, Sora and Riku are at the bottom of the stairs and I cant decide what I want to do.
"You're not real. Axel is dead and he's not coming back! If you're not part of my own head then your just a fake! And I want nothing to do with a fake Axel!" Roxas stomps his foot and wobbles down the stairs like he's been hit by a car and is trying to walk away. Both Riku and Sora move out of his way and allow him to stomp out of the house.
I let out a sigh and turn away from the door, he's just going to get more, I know that… I'm not going to pretend I don't. But it hurts that he's so enraged about me coming back, he practically hates me, and he doesn't even know he's saying it to the real me.
I walk into the living room and let out a sigh as I sit down on the soft couch beside Kairi where the only open spot is in the room. The room is looking at me and I let out a sigh. "Sorry about this Luxord, Riku, and Sora… but I figure I should start at the beginning... further back then even the book started."
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
I had to stop ten times to answer questions that people wanted me to elaborate on, it took me five hours and by the time I was done I'd ignored three calls from Yuffie, and I'm supposing she's mad about that.
"Wow Axel… I'm pretty shocked that you made it back. You alright man?" I nod my head at Charming and let out another sigh as I run my hand through my hair.
"Uh, yeah… I gotta go make a call, you guys, I have to go make a call." I get up off the seat as Kairi gets up and starts talking with Riku and Sora because the three of them are apparently close friends- I never doubted that Sora would make friends.
I pull my phone out of my pocket and walk out onto the back deck, checking the railings strength while I'm here. It looks pretty good and I raise the phone to my ear after hitting Yuffie's number, I really hope she's not mad about me ignoring the calls… it's just that that talk was really important. I feel slightly vulnerable with this many people knowing, but they had to know- especially if I go missing again because of certain blue haired men with scars.
"Axel! Why didn't you pick up? God, I'm so worried! Are you alright?"
"Uh, yeah… I'm fine. Why, are you alright Yuffie? You sound out of breath."
"Axel, I'm coming to Ireland, I'm on a plane now."
"Why?" why the hell does she need to come here? And why is she out of breath on a plane? Am I missing something completely?
"Saïx made a bee-line for Ireland after Russia, he's been there for months Axel. I'm sorry I didn't catch this sooner. Cloud and Sephiroth are landing in like ten minutes in the port." my eyes go wide at hearing this news. I catch movement out of the corner of my eye and my head jerks to the right towards the large pile of wood that is generally used for fire, but all I see is a bluish-grey tail vanishing through the planks of wood.
"Alright… do you have any advice for me at the moment?"
"Go to the port and wait for Cloud and Sephiroth. They'll help you track him down once they get there. The smudge that is him is going to be wiped off the surface of the earth, I swear to god by the time I get my hands on him there wont even be ashes left to bury or scatter." my eyes go wide again; what the hell did he do to piss her off so much?
I'm a stranger here, yes I know their names and how they look, but I haven't been here for thirteen years, I haven't known them for thirteen years, I haven't grown up with them anymore.
"Alright Yuffie." I hang up and give a sigh as I lean against the railing of the back deck, how could I have thought I'd be free of him? I should have just gone back to Canada and let him come after me, let him come so I could kill him.
This might be better though, Ireland has changed, yes. But the basic layout of the land hasn't. I still know the forest like the back of my hand and I refuse to let him better me. Ireland is my territory. The rest of the world was his, he knows it better then me, but no one NO ONE… knows Ireland better then me. I've spent years worth of time in it's forests and finding lakes, streams to live off of. My father made sure that I knew Ireland better then anyone else, and closer to the end I might have known it better then him.
Cloud and Sephiroth cant do anything here, they cant do as much damage as me. Cloud is all about planning and thinking every move out, Sephiroth is about a brutal kill, neither of them can think on their feet properly.
I know now that I'll have to kill again and a shiver runs down my spine. I don't want to kill again, I was hoping those were just rage-filled flukes… but I'm planning it now: getting him lost in the woods as he chases me and surprise him completely. I could trap him and watch as he slowly dies if I want, I could make a trap that'd hang him. I could drown him like Xion died, I could slit a major artery like Demyx, or I could bash his head so many times that his brain starts coming out of his skull like Zexion.
I hate how I can think like this, I don't want to… but it might be best that I can think like this. If I was the innocent kid who left Ireland, I'd be screwed right now. And I guess nothing ever proved I wouldn't be able to do this, and I have to best him now. It's no longer an option.
"Axel, is everything alright?" Luxord walks out of the house with a cookie in his hand and a smile on his face that I'm guessing is from the taste.
"No. get Sora and Riku out here, I have to go say goodbye to my guests." Luxord's smile drops and he swallows the bite of cookie in his mouth.
"What's wrong?" I shake my head and just unhitch myself from the railing before walking into the house.
"Hey guys, I'd love to stay, but I have to go meet a few people at the pier." I give a smile and head back out onto the deck to wait for Sora Riku and Luxord. Lumier and Cerberus are luckily here and I cant help but smile at them.
"Axel, what's wrong?" Sora looks really upset and I just give him a smile as he walks up to me.
"Relax, it's nothing big Sora. I'm just going to go to the pier. But I need the three of you to stay here alright? You cant leave the house. And I really need you guys to be safe."
"Why? You're not telling anyone anything!" Sora looks upset and I just let out a sigh as I lean forward and press a kiss to the top of his head that Riku tries not to notice.
"Saïx is here. So stay inside, and stay close to Riku. I'll be back soon."
"Saïx is still here? I thought you said you lost him." Riku's glaring at me now, and he has every right to. I just shrug.
"He's always known my final destination. Ireland is my home, it makes sense that he'd know I'd come back."
"I'm going to rip him limb from fucking-"
"Riku. I've got this taken care of. Just watch Sora alright? Lumier and Cerberus are staying here to watch the house." Sora opens his mouth to protest, but Riku beats him to it.
"If you dare think that I'm going to sit back here and wait as you face that bastard alone, you're fucking kidding me Axel. I don't really know about Luxord, but Sora will kill me if I do that! You're not doing this on your own. He's had two years to prepare, do you have any idea what he could be planning?"
"Yes, I know he could have something extravagant and cunning planned. But I have to do this Riku. It's a matter of finishing something I started. He still doesn't know we're together, he might know that you guys are living in this house, I don't know. But if he sees us both together then that makes Sora more of a target and I care about all three of you two much to put targets on your back. Hell could strike here while I'm gone Riku, and you have to be here." I'm glaring into his aqua eyes, begging him to understand that if Cloud, Sephiroth and I don't succeed in getting rid of him, that he and Luxord are Sora's last chance. The only reason I'm not more worried about Roxas, is because I know he's in the meadow and that means safe.
I don't want to draw this out, I know Cloud and Sephiroth are most likely going to tell me to leave the country, but I'm not leaving. I'm tired of running from him, it's not worth it anymore. I'll spend the rest of his life running if I don't just face him now. I don't even know why he wants me so bad, I wont do it anymore. I'm never going back to that horrid life.
I turn away from them, ignoring the fact that Sora had practically looked heartbroken. But he'll be fine, as long as Riku's there he'll be just fine, no one's needed me for this long, so why should they start now? Roxas doesn't even know I exist, and maybe… if he thinks I'm dead he'll just be better off.
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
The car ride wasn't long or hard for me to get to the docks that they'd most likely be coming in from, mainly because there were no airports in Ireland and the only way into or out of the country was by ship.
"I swear to fucking god Sephiroth, if you piss him off for one second while we're here, I'm going to kill you. I do not have the patients or energy to deal with Axel being pissed at you. This is just another job. Get in, get out no one but our target gets hurt."
"You're kidding me right? Why the hell cant we just stab the guy until he's dead and then get rid of the body? Why do you always have to think of such boring ways to kill people?"
The two monotone voices catch my attention and I let out a sigh as I swivel my head in their general direction, I've been so used to them arguing back in Russia that even though it's been a month or two since I last saw them, it's impossible for me to not know that it's them.
I let out a sigh as I see them, Cloud glaring ahead of him and Sephiroth looking around with a smirk on his face. Sephiroth takes a deep breath and lets it out in a sigh, he seems happy here, makes a comment under his breath that I cant really hear. Cloud mumbles something and I raise my hand above my head. "Hey! Over here guys!" they both look over at me and I just smirk at them.
"What're you doing here? Did Yuffie finally get in touch with you?" I nod my head in agreement and Cloud rolls his eyes. "She was trying for hours, what the hell did you do, climb into a hole?"
"Kinda, yeah. Anyhow, where do you guys want to start?" I cross my arms over my chest as I wait for an answer. Neither of them want to start so I just let out a sigh before rolling my shoulders and looking around the docks. "Well… I can take you guys anywhere. I know this place like the back of my hand so there is really no problem with taking you anywhere you want to go." Cloud looks around a little more before turning to me, his blue eyes looking surprised before he finally answers my question.
"How about your place? We could work out of there and then I guess we could take turns on lookout or something." I don't really want them at my house, I want to keep that as much of a safe zone as possible, but they're right, I'd rather have three killers in the house on my side then no killer on my side and have something go wrong. God, I just don't know anymore.
How hard is it to protect the people I care about? It's not like the list is too long, well… not the ones I really want, but why has my life turned into running and killing? This just isn't fair in the slightest.
"Fine then. We'll go back to my place." I cross my arms again and turn away from them and back to my car. I don't really car if they're following since they probably already know where my house is. "Uh… do you guys know the way?"
"Yes, of course we do. We learned that the day we-"
"Shut up you asshole. Yuffie told us not to scare him with stuff like that." Cloud cut Sephiroth off pretty quickly but it doesn't matter because it just proved my suspicion.
"Alright then, you guys can go back to my place. Tell Luxord- the blonde guy -that I said it's alright. You'll probably have to see Lumier and Cerberus and prove that they wont rip you apart, I'd leave that to Cloud if I were you two. I'll be there at some point tonight." my chest is starting to hurt again and I'm getting worried, I have to go find Roxas and I have to find him now.
"Aren't you coming Axel?"
"Nope. I kinda just said that. Later, you can use my car- it's the blue American muscle parked in the back of the lot over there. If you scratch it, I'll kill you." I turn my head in time to give them a smirk and turn back towards the closest trail through the forest.
My heart feels like it's going to pound out of my chest. I'm not too sure what's happened, but I feel really bad, like the simple fact that Saïx is here has suddenly made the world start to implode. But he's always been there, for the last two years the only time I was away from him was when I was with Yuffie in Russia.
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
I'm about half way there now, green trees around me and the stream is trickling in that soothing rhythm that always lulled me to sleep when I thought of it in my head at night. It's the sound I thought of every night in Canada, when I was with my aunt and wanted to run away, when I was with Roxas in our crappy apartments I could barely pay for, when a customer had been so bad I'd wanted to cry. It's the sound of relaxation to me, associated with everything good in my life aside from Roxas, because Roxas is like his own little section in my mind.
The calming sound is broken by a scream and it's one I know too well. The one I heard when he was in a car, driving passed me towards the Reapers palace, the one I heard when he was scared at night that Ventus was going to find him and hurt him. It's the sound I promised myself I'd never hear again.
My eyes snap open and I freeze, why is he screaming? Why did it sound so horrid? What the hell happened that could make him- why am I asking myself questions? Run you worthless legs, run!
I start running and it's not fast enough, why the hell aren't I running fast enough? I'm jumping over bushes and climbing over fallen trees, there are more then I remember- shit, this cant be good!
"Help me! Somebody help me! Axel! Help me!" my eyes go wider as he yells for me to help him as I get to the meadow. How the hell didn't I hear a helicopter? He's slung over Saïx's shoulder and the damn scarred freak has got a smirk on his face bigger then I've ever seen. Roxas is kicking and screaming, punching the idiots back, but he's not letting up and the helicopter is starting to fly away. Shit!
"Roxas! Bite him!" I run over towards the tree and start climbing, there is still a bit of the ladder that Saïx is on that I might be able to jump to, but I cant climb quick enough.
I'm half way up the tree by the time I hear Saïx scream and then Roxas' followed right away. I look up to see him falling, he was high enough up already that it all feels like no time is passing as I get my feet onto a branch and run over. I'm surprised I'm not falling before I jump out of the tree and grab him.
This falling sensation isn't normal in the slightest, I'm wrapping my body around Roxas, making sure that I protect his head. It feels weird, but I would describe this sensation as the same one I had when I realized I was in love with Roxas. It's light, happy, scary as hell, new but familiar, and warm.
I don't even register how close we are to the ground before all I feel is pain, and I realize I cant feel anything. There is a bit of fear right now, but it's finally just… me. I don't have to worry about anything right now, because right now… the world is gone to me.
AN:
Me: hello all and welcome back. This chapter is kinda odd and a little rushed, I know. But it's really hard to write in this style -.-'
Axel: well I like it. People finally get to know what's going on in my head.
Me: yeah, too bad my mind is taking over too much and the 'character' is getting lost. Anyhow, the next chapter is going to be a different set up/style.
Roxas: I think a change would be nice, unneeded, but nice.
Me: well I try. Anyhow, I also have to kinda thank me continuing this story to a Fortune cookie I got (surprisingly enough) I went out for dinner one night with the family and this was the fortune cookie I got at the end of the night: 'There is new hope for projects you had almost given up on' this just kinda inspired me because I really was ready to give up and in a whole bowl of like fifty cookies, I grabbed this one.
Axel: wow! I'm am thoroughly impressed Elizabeth! But, why were you going to give up on me?
Me: I've already answered that question, so I wont go on the rant again. That really was just a bad day for me -_- I'm better now, perspective has changed for the better and I'm ready to finish this fic with a BANG! (as soon as it needs to be finished)